


Paper Hearts

by nishiki



Series: when the world is burning [1]
Category: Assassin's Creed
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Big Brother Altaïr, Desmond is a crybaby, M/M, Malik the hero, and Connor a boysscout, and also Bill Miles is an asshole, but back to the fluff, like wow massive fluff, major fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-29
Updated: 2015-01-26
Packaged: 2018-03-04 06:04:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 100,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2954936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nishiki/pseuds/nishiki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>!!!!Please note that I am currently (as of January 2017) reworking this story piece by piece, so you will notice a slight change between the already reworked and old chapters!!!!</p><p>"It was a miracle, that the Teen did found sleep after all the worrying. Did he have enough money up his sleeve to buy Desmond the new shoes he needed? After all the poor thing had to wear the too small shoes all too long and whimpered every time he had to take them on. What about Ezio's new schoolbooks? He couldn’t use Altaїrs. And the new jacket Connor needed so desperately? This all had to wait eventually. What about the money for food? Did Bill waste it already on drinks? Was Altaїr again forced to beg his boss for an advancement? Or would he have to go to the soup kitchen with his embarrassed brothers again? And even if there was enough money for them to eat, would it suffice for him as well so he could eat this time too at month end?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> A big thanks goes to thechosenone305 for giving me some really good tipps! <3

 

Men. In the life of Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad, men had always played a huge role. There had always been different types of men in the house of his very own mother, moving in or out as they pleased at a whim. They had roamed the house as if it would have belonged to them, the very same house in which he had grown up to become the man he was today. There had been many assholes, criminals, psychopaths, violent men and other scum and there had been fewer  _ good m _ en which his mother had decided to bring home to be his new dad. Of his own father he just knew the name he had given to him and the name, he himself had worn until his dying day. Umar Ibn-La'Ahad had been a police officer.  _ One of the good ones _ , his mother had assured him with lots of different stories about Umar's heroic adventures and damsels in distress from an early age on as if to prepare her oldest son for the path laying ahead of him. As if she had known already back then. When Altaїr and his mother had still lived in Boston, they had sometimes met other police officers, former colleagues of his dad who had recognized his mother and greeted Altaїr himself with gentle smiles and winks as to let him in on a secret shared between men. 

Altaїr had never been prouder of himself for being the son of the great Umar Ibn-La'Ahad, the hero from the fairy tales which he had loved so much. Never in his life had he been prouder of the name he had been given - And, more importantly perhaps, never in his life had he more felt this slight glimmer of hope growing deep inside his tiny, childish heart. He was the son of a hero, so, in conclusion, he himself was bound to become a hero.

_ Hope _ , he thought now, is a deceiving, abstruse, mean feeling for a little child to have and none better for a teenager or a grown man. Hope had been the one emotion that had kept him going for years. That and the childish expectations he had set for himself. 

Umar had died and left his beloved wife with two-month-old Altaїr, but his mother had never been alone for a long time. He had always loved her dearly, but he knew now what kind of woman she had really been behind her lovely face and these bright, big beautiful eyes of hers. One man after the other had been presented before him, some had stayed longer, some shorter and some just long enough for Altaїr to get used to them before they had left him once again with his helpless mother sitting crying at the kitchen table with broken glass and plates around her on the smudged tiles. Only three of the men which she had brought had left something other than ruined furniture, a mountain of depths, scars or bruises for little Altaїr to love.

As the sun set on this particular evening, which in fact was as good as an example for his daily life as any other, the screaming and yelling and cursing downstairs began again in this little house in Dorchester like the clockwork routine of a cuckoo clock. The evenings had always started like this and they might as well do so forever. Altaїr did not even try to make an effort anymore to understand what it was that his stepfather was yelling - or to  _ whom _ , more importantly. He knew the words by heart. He knew the cursing since he had been little. At least - but in fact, it was just a very small comfort - he seemingly did not fight with someone  _ present _ . There was no audible response for him to hear at least that would propose that someone was downstairs with his stepfather. Although, Altaїr was grimly aware how hard it was most of the time to get a response out in the short paused between his stepfather's bickering. 

He probably was on the phone with someone and Altaїr could very clearly imagine at whom he was yelling at. In his ratty bed, which creaked and moaned under his weight and every movement, the young man rolled from his left side to his back and waited. Well, he did not in  _ wait  _ in the strict matter of the word. He  _ counted _ . And it did not take long for him to count until he heard the first bit of movement. His silent counting lasted exactly ten seconds - just like he had guessed - before the old wooden door to his room opened with a small, shy creek. Altaїr silently stretched his right arm to his side and searched with one hand for the lamp on his bedside table in the darkness that was filling the small room. 

It was not that late yet and certainly not that dark outside, but Altaїr had this habit of going to bed early. Maybe it was a habit that no one his age should have, but one that grew from the necessity of his role in this drama in which he seemed to play the main part. A role he never would have freely taken if offered, but one he was not ready to give up for anything in the world either. 

As he found his lamp and switched it on, the lightbulb flickered for a moment but then at least tried to enlighten the tiny chamber he was living in. It was barely enough to see anything of substance or any detail at all, not even the old rotten posters of which Altaїr knew that they hand on the wall opposite his bed, but just enough to allow him to see the three pale faces peeking in through the ajar door.  There was no need for words, just a little movement of his right hand for the door to swing open fully. The bodies of his two youngest brothers pressed against his own body in an instant. Ezio, however, remained at the door for just a moment longer, listening intently to the yelling and screaming downstairs of the only  _ adult _ there was in this place. Ezio was his first younger sibling and Altaїr could hardly even remember a day without him.

»Lock the door.« Altaїr's voice was firm in the silence of the room. Silence was not the proper word for there was never silence in this house and especially not now in this room, but maybe he was just so used to the ongoing noises, the yelling and screaming, the whimpering and small crying that this became so close to silence as it possibly could get in here.

Ezio did as he was told immediately. The door clicked shut and Ezio locked the two old bolts which Altaїr had attached to it so many years ago. For a short moment, Altaїr could see the suspiciousness in the dark warm eyes of his younger brother, as Ezio looked at the two bolts and pushed against the door again as though to make sure it would stay in place as it should. Altaїr knew that one of the locks would break easily, the other was openable just from this site of the door but it was more likely that the door itself would crash down before the locks would. 

Safety in this house was just an illusion for the kids and Altaїr knew this. Even Ezio knew, but he chose not to. It was easier to trust his older brother and those damned locks than to worry about it. 

Desmond lay across Altaїr's chest like a shaking bundle. The only sign of him crying was the wet sensation dripping through Altaїr's t-shirt and wetting his chest. He did not mind. None of them did. What he  _ did _ mind was the aching of his heart and the knowledge that no eight-year-old boy should know how to cry so silently. But Desmond knew this kind of thing and he also knew what would happen to  _ bad boys _ if they were too noisy or in fact did cry.

It would be an understatement to say that seeing or hearing Desmond cry was breaking Altaїr's heart. And it definitely would be an understatement to assume Altaїr would love to go downstairs and gut this man who tyrannized his brothers in this very moment as he saw the black eye Connor tried to hide under his long black bangs as the boy pressed his face against Altaїr's left shoulder. There was nothing Connor could hide from his oldest brother and Connor knew this. Altaїr gently brushed away the hair from the wound in a desperate attempt to soothe his brother.

»Come now, there is enough room for everybody in here.« Altaїr mumbled again in Ezio's general direction, who still stood beside the door and listened to the noises of the house. Their neighbors had long given up to complain about the noise.  

Altaїr's words were nothing more than lies. Stupid, silly lies and Ezio knew this best. The bed was already too small for a tall boy like Altaїr but just like the most of the furniture they possessed it was stolen from bulky waste and just like the beds of his brothers, remains of old and long forgotten nurseries. For a boy his height, the small bed was more like a cage.

Ezio's raised eyebrows told him, that his brother very much could read his thoughts just by looking at him, but as it grew quiet downstairs the younger one moved long legged like a cat to his bed and cuddled against his other unoccupied side. Indeed, Altaїr had just two arms which were occupied with holding Connor and Desmond, but Ezio did not mind. He took the old blanket Altaїr owned and threw it over himself and the rest of the pack which had to live pent-up in this house together. A mixed up group, chaotic, raw and wild.

As he first heard the footsteps outside of his room, they came from the stairs that led to the upper floor of the one-story house - the floor which contained the boys’ bedrooms and a narrow bathroom.  Altaїr was the only one of the four siblings who had his own room - mainly because there had not been enough room for him any longer as Desmond had been born. It only took seconds until the loud and heavy footsteps sounded from the hallway. Never had the creaking and screeching of the floorboards been so loud, the hammering of his heart never so painful in his chest. Altaїr knew that Bill, his stepfather, could not just barge in with the locked door and the two separate locks inside - at least not as quickly as it would take the old man to lose interest, but that did not matter at all in this moment as they were cowering in his narrow bed.

The steps stopped right before his own bedroom door and as soon as one large, bulky fist - a fist that every one of them knew oh so very well - began to hammer against the moaning door Ezio flung his long arms around his brothers as best he could.

Ezio might possess a big mouth and he might actively look for fights in school or trouble just to unleash all of his anger and frustration, but in the end, Ezio was only a teenager, a sixteen-year-old teenager right in the middle of puberty. He did not have the slightest clue what to make of his life or how to escape this madness. He did not even know how to simply avoid the one stupid mistake that would ruin his possible future forever.

Altaїr did not need some books about children's psychologies to see that Desmond and the twelve-year-old Connor felt just the same way as Ezio and himself, with the one clear distinction between them being that Altaїr could not possibly show how he really felt. Connor was mostly outside the house and came only back inside when there was no other way or no other place to go to or when he knew Bill Miles was not home - or when Altaїr himself dragged him home, down from some stupid tree he had hidden in. The brothers were all the same. They tried so much to escape this place, but neither one of them really had anyone  _ outside _ , neither one of them had really anyone other than the rest of this pack of wolves. So there was no place Connor could possibly flee to, no friends where he could hide and so it was with Ezio and so it was with little Desmond and so it was with him.

They were all alone and just had the others to clung to so they would not drown. And he, Altaїr, was the one anchor his little brothers had. The only string of light that Altaїr could see in this darkness around them was that at least, even though Dorchester was a dump, there was enough nature around for Connor to get lost in and maybe even forget about his problems for a few hours. 

»OPEN THE DOOR, FAGGOT!« Bill’s voice seemingly filled every corner of this room, if not the whole goddamn house. Instinctively Altaїr bit his tongue and rubbed soothing little circles on either Desmond or Connor’s backs to at least try and make them feel better just broken by his own soft voice telling them both - or maybe all four of them -  _ »Shhh…it's all good, I'm right here« _ or  _ »just relax Des, we are all here watching over you…« _ . The yelling continued endlessly and Altair's attempts were futile, as they always were. 

Sometimes Altaїr thought it absurd how he tried to soothe the children and make them feel better. Not absurd because he did it, it was simply the thing older brothers had to do, absurd because he himself was frightened like a small child or a cornered animal ready to be beaten senseless with a stick.

Altaїr never learned how to be an adult but now he was the only adult the boys could count on. Neither one of them trusted anybody apart from themselves. Altaїr never had someone to rely on, never had someone to show him how this thing, life, really worked. He never had someone to show him how to change Desmond's diapers, never had someone to tell him how to teach a child to walk, which crying meant that a child was hungry or ill or just tired.

Nonetheless, here was Desmond, eight years old, perfectly fitting in his arms - a little crybaby maybe, but that was okay. Somehow Altaїr had managed to take care of the little ones. But every second of his life as an adult in this little family of four, Altaїr felt helpless, alone and utterly terrified. Every time the social workers called or stood in front of the door he was horrified to lose his brothers, lose his duty, lose his ballast. He knew the system. He knew how broken it was. He knew they would separate them from each other and put them in separate homes as if this would be the best way to deal with misfits like them. And who would soothe Desmond and Connor at night if he would not be there? Here they lay again, him and his brothers and none of them knew how much he himself panicked because he could not possibly show them.

Altaїr was not afraid of the beatings or the pain afterward, he was used to it, as sad as it was. But there was this one little thought whenever he saw the fist coming to his face which paralyzed him every goddamn time and held him back from fighting. It was a thought maybe only mothers or fathers would have as soon as they became mothers and fathers.  _ What if he knocks me out and goes after the kids? What if he kills me? What about the children when I am not there to protect them? _

Love was, without a doubt, a feeling that could make people strong and event possible for some to go beyond their limitations. It was the one feeling that enabled mothers and fathers all over the globe to lift cars from their babies. However, sometimes love was also terrifying - so much that one could feel paralyzed to do anything at all and Altaїr knew this feeling all too well.

It did cost him a lot of effort to not yell back at the door or jump out of the bed to greet Bill’s face with his own fist in return for once. But Altaїr was tired and there was again this nagging thought of _What if?_ _What if he has a gun this time? What if he has Ezio's metal bat right there waiting for me? That bastard hates my guts, he wouldn’t think twice to murder me or Ezio…or both of us. And what about Connor? He couldn’t protect Desmond! He's too small, too weak for someone like this! Bill would take him right out of his misery because Connor isn't his. He hates all of us. And Desmond? Would he leave Desmond alone just because he is his flesh and blood? Didn’t stop him from kicking and punching the poor thing…_

As soon as the seal would break, there was nothing to stop his thoughts from rambling on and on about all the possibilities of what could happen if he would, in fact, run for the door to fight back - and every time Altaїr would lose himself in a maelstrom of fear. It was not so much that he would not be able to fight back. He was very much capable of doing so and Bill knew this all too well. He knew this and he waited.

But Bill was not worth the risk and Altaїr was so fucking tired. That was not a new phenomenon for the agile young man, who should be bursting with energy so early on in his life. He was so stressed out from all the bickering, all the fighting and yelling and all this fucking crap that his body was literally too weak to pull itself together, gather its last strength and go give the asshole what he deserved! 

It had been minutes if not hours as Bill finally went out of breath and vanished from the door, till muttering and cursing at the boys. They heard him stomping down the stairs and then the banging of the front door. He would not leave the property, though. He would sit on the hood of his truck and drink, pitying his own life as though he was the victim. 

»What was that about?« Altaїr sighed after at least half a minute in which he enjoyed the new found silence. He knew all too well that something must have happened today for Bill to go on a rampage like that, although Bill rarely needed a decent reason to beat the living shit out of his stepsons anyway.  Altaїr was not dumb. To him, it was clear that Bill’s rage had something to do with Ezio - again.

Usually, it was Ezio's school which called the house when he made any trouble  _ again _ . But Altaїr had not the strength left to scold him for it or just give him  _ the look _ . He knew all too well that Ezio was already ashamed enough because of all this and the possible consequences his behavior would have for his brothers - not to say for Altaїr, the only one dumb enough to throw himself between a fist or a boot and his younger brothers.

False heroism was maybe the better term.

What had his mother said all the time when he had been little? He was the knight in shining armor in this house. Maybe she had not been so wrong with that, although Altaїr would never agree too. He was not brave as his brothers said, he was just stupid. There were plenty examples in the world - oh right in this freaking neighborhood - that not all big brothers were oh so heroic. There were plenty of young men and women who would never throw themselves between the danger and their siblings or their mother when the newest drunken boyfriend was ready to punch her to a bloody pulp. Altaїr did it nonetheless.

»Vieri de Pazzi.« That was all the boy said with a scowl on his face in the dim light of the bedroom.

It was just then that Altaїr had the time to look at his brother's face a little more closely for once. He was sporting a nasty black eye just like Connor and his nose did not look too hot either. Well, maybe it was good they all had the very same pig head on their shoulders.

»Well… do I want to see what he looks like?« He probably should not encourage Ezio like that.

»Oh, don’t worry, Bro. He will definitely not win the best-looking student award in this year's yearbook.« Ezio had this venomous smile on his face like he had every time he would talk about some victory over Vieri. But as soon as Ezio saw the dark look Altaїr shot him, he stopped smiling and cast his eyes down like a beaten puppy. Ezio knew that Altaїr mostly took the beatings for his faults when the school would call the house.

»I am sorry, Altaїr.«

»You better be.« He answered, again with a low sigh, but then Altaїr turned his face again to the ceiling from which every night the color crumbled onto his face. »What is it with you and that Pazzi-Boy…« If someone would just look closely enough or had enough imaginary power maybe they could see Altaїr smirk. Just a twitch of the left corner of his mouth - only barely noticeable.

There were not much reasons for Altaїr to smile as some would guess. He was seventeen - nearly eighteen in fact - years old, had graduated from school this very summer, was working in a coffee shop down the street in the better part of Dorchester where everyone looked strangely at him and where he had to encounter all those former classmates again. And he had no fucking clue where his way would lead him. He sometimes envied Ezio for his charm and wits. Ezio could literally charm anybody - except his older brother - and he always had a new girlfriend at his side. And Altaїr? He never had the time and opportunity to simply think about  _ love _ . He had obligations. He had to be the adult in this house, he had to be the shield for his beloved brothers, the teacher that helped with homework and projects, he had to be the mother who pampered her ill children and cooked for them although they nearly never had enough money for food. All he earned, Altaїr saved for the boys. 

Now that Connor also was about to hit puberty things would not get easier. He was just like Ezio, always stuffing their faces with anything eatable. And just like Desmond he now would outgrow his clothes every month. 

Connor would over tower them all someday, that was for sure. He had a cute face, so much like their mother with those big, brown puppy eyes - in fact, they were all very good at making puppy eyes. Someday Connor would turn into this kind of cute guy who would turn women and men alike into melting puddles on the floor. Ezio, in contrast, looked still like a little puppy which had to grow in its gigantic paws. But nonetheless, he would be a very handsome man as soon as his body would fit him thoroughly. 

And Desmond … Well, Desmond would look like Altaїr, probably. He already was a mini-version of him. He would be tall and lanky, maybe a bit too thin, but that he was already.

Very much too thin.

Altaїr had no clue how and when it happened, but at some point he did fall asleep, crushed by the warmth of his brothers just like a pack of wolves. And after all, they were exactly that. It was a miracle that the teen did find sleep after all the worrying anyway. Did he have enough money up his sleeve to buy Desmond the new shoes he needed? What about Ezio's new schoolbooks? He could not use Altaїr's any longer. And the new jacket Connor needed so desperately? This all had to wait eventually. What about the money for food? Did Bill waste it already on drinks? Was Altaїr again forced to beg his boss for an advancement? Or would he have to go to the soup kitchen with his embarrassed brothers again? And even if there was enough money for them to eat, would it suffice for him as well so he could eat this time too at month end?

It was not just Desmond who was too thin and Altaїr hated nothing more than Ezio's worried looks that he shot at him when they were all gathered in the bath. Ezio had this talent to look beyond Altaїr's scars or bruises, but then he would press his full lips together into a thin line as soon as he saw oh how thin his big brother was already.

There had been a time when Ezio had stolen lunch money or something to eat from other students in his school, but after Altaїr had found out, Ezio had had the trouble of this lifetime.

They did not need to steal from others as long as Altaїr would work hard enough for all of them. They did not need alms as long as Altaїr just strained himself enough. Ezio did not need to work after school, he should focus on school and his grades instead. Altaїr was a stern father if necessary and they all knew that. 

As the sun rose again the next morning, Altaїr felt like he had been run over by a bulldozer, but he had no time to complain. There was too much to do and just as he opened his eyes, autopilot kicked in. He helped Desmond with getting ready for school, made breakfast, bound Connor’s long hair in a messy ponytail under the complaints of his little brother and through Ezio's backpack after him, as the teen ran after the bus and then he walked Desmond and Connor to the elementary and middle school down the road. In a place like Dorchester, one better not let their children roam the streets alone.

Altaїr would never forget this one incident with Connor. He would never forget the hours of horror in which he had not known where his little brother was and if he was still alive and well. Altaїr had aged by years in those short hours, as Ezio had so cleverly remarked back then, but he was determined that something like that would not happen to Desmond too.

Back at home, he tried his best to at least tidy up a bit. Maybe a psychiatrist would certify him with compulsive cleanliness, but this way it was better, he decided. The terror at night was enough. The nightmares and the fear of coming home were enough for his brothers to live in, they did not need to live in filth too.

But after these few minutes of being alone and cleaning the house, there was routine again grabbing him and forcing him to go to work. The work called for him and so did the bullying of his coworkers.  _ Faggot  _ was one of the nicest things they said and sometimes it even made him laugh. There was just this one gleam of hope every day, exactly at 11 o'clock and 13 minutes, when the door to the coffee shop would open and this tall, lean - very attractive - young man would come in to order the same extra large black coffee. He always came dressed neatly in a suit or jacket every morning, and always with the same frown on his face. This guy. Oh, this guy. He had a look on his face, so dark that everyone would turn to stone immediately, all except Altaїr. Although this guy might be the cause for all the bullying at work, but Altaїr really did not mind. He had seen worse. And as long as it was for this man, it was worth it.  

On this morning, just like on every other morning, the stranger came into the coffee shop and looked first at Altaїr behind the counter like he always did before he would bellow his order. First, he would lock eyes with Altaїr, then his dark eyes would roam Altaїr's face and inspect it for new signs of fatherly devotion before he would even open his mouth to speak. 

_ Malik _ . 

That was his name. That was the name of this grumpy guy. It had taken some time before Altaїr had managed to find out this name, but he cherished it ever since. And sometimes this name was the one thing escaping his mouth in some especially dark and sinister night, like a spell to cast away all darkness around, as cheesy as it might sound.

Yes, men had always played a huge role in Altaїr's life from the start. He had met many bad men, many assholes, and monsters, criminals, drunks, violent men and creeps. There had been much fewer  _ good  _ ones. Just three of all those men had left something good in Altaїr's life for him to take care of and cherish. And then there was this one guy that only belonged to him and maybe it was not even that much of a surprise that he would fall for a man like him.

Maybe he was a bit grumpy, maybe the look in his eyes was a little dark, maybe he was a little frightening from time to time, but it was still exactly that man who managed to give Altaїr at least the glimmer at hope every morning no matter how rough the night had been.

Maybe, Altaїr would catch himself thinking every morning when he would hear the bell over the door of the coffee shop ringing at exactly  11 o'clock and 13 Minutes, was hope not that much of a deceiving, abstruse, mean bitch just waiting for him to step into her trap. 


	2. "Malik"

Life can be a bitch at times. Some diligent student would do all the work on a project but others would take credit for it. Some people would be born with a silver spoon in their mouths and credit cards in their little fists before they could even talk and some people would be given a poor deal right from the start.  

A person can either try to make the best of the deal they had been given, fight and overcome all obstacles or they could drown in the endless abyss of desperation, the void beneath the black ocean of someone's mind. There were some people who were just floating through life without any worries in the world just because they thought themselves safe because what could possibly go wrong? Some people only had to snap their fingers to get what they wanted in life, first from their parents and later on, maybe, from lovers.

Then there were people who did not even need to comfort themselves in the dark hours of their lives that someday there will be a light at the end of the tunnel waiting for them or that their lives were not as insignificantly as they thought they were. Those people were just all smiles, wandering their merry ways because their rose-colored glasses would protect them from the real life. But this illusion would only last so long until a bomb would explode right next to them or until there would be another terrorist attack which would cost them their loved ones, their existence or - god forbid - their wealth.

There was nothing in this world Altaїr hated just as much as those people.

He was smart for a seventeen-year-old boy and smart if one would dare to look at the circumstances he was living in. Smart enough to know how stupid his hatred and his spitefulness really were. Nobody had to tell him that. He was behaving unfairly to these dreamers of the world although he knew that they did not choose who they were just as much as he did not choose who he was. These were the people who got a good deal from the heavenly poker table and now they were living according to it. No one could hate them for that, right? No one could hold them accountable for that and maybe they did not deserve to be held accountable for their lucky birth. It was not even their wealth he despised or their naivety or their stupidity.

There were people in this godforsaken world that could look on a seventeen year old boy and would not be able to see the black eye he might be sporting or the broken nose or the split lips or the laceration on his forehead or the broken wrist or even the heavy bandages on his head because he had been stitched _again_ the night prior. They would simply overlook those marks and bruises. Those were people who would not listen or who would shut their ears for the whimpering that a boy might produce with every movement because he had been beaten so badly the night before that he not even had the strength to get up anymore at one point. People who just did not want to _listen_ . People who just did not want to _see_. Altaїr could not blame them. These people were living in an illusory world. A world where abusive households or child abuse, molestation and all this shit did not even exist other than at the yearly charity event they attended.

They would only play the good samaritan if they would gain some kind of publicity for it and they were the very same men and women who would ignore the little boy cowering in the rain because he did not even know where to run to anymore. It sure was easier living in that kind of bubble and sometimes Altaїr would catch himself wishing for such a bubble too.

These were people who did not want to burden themselves with the hardships of others because they did not want to ruin their day or they simply did not want to question themselves whether to buy that new fur coat instead of giving the money for it to an orphanage. Should they buy this T-Shirt made in Bangladesh or should they give the money to children who were being cudgeled and molested instead?

 _Normal people_ \- if existing - were not any better. Even those who did not have those big dollar signs in their eyes were blind and deaf for the world. They were enjoying the small things in life, a sunny day in the park or the smell of fresh flowers, but as soon as they would spot some boy sitting on the street and begging for a little money to eat, the smiling would stop and they would change the side of the road. And on this other side, away from this helpless child, they would speculate whether this kid - who clearly did not even look like an American at all - is a gypsy or part of a gang which perhaps forced him to beg and steal. Even Mr. and Mrs. Everybody were living in this illusory dream world in which there was no possible reason for a child - at least not an American one - to beg or steal. Uncle Sam provided for all of his children.

Altaїr's hated those people.

In fact, he really did feel hate for everyone who would come across him. This was just the way things were and he understood this. He really did, but that did not mean that he had to like it. This did not mean he had to accept it. This hatred of his was the only thing that was a constant in his life. Nobody had to teach him how to hate. That was also a truth he had to accept. He may had not had an adult in his life who showed him how to be an adult or how to raise three children - four if he would include himself. But he had had enough adults as an example of how to hate someone else. People came and went, _fatherly figures_ came and went, but hate had been there for him every goddamn minute of his life. It was this brewing little feeling, a monster deep down that raised its ugly head if called by name.

This little monster had been there for him as soon as William fucking Miles had come into his life for the first time. It had been there when Altaїr had called him  _daddy_ and on the day when Bill had first hit his mother in front of little Altaїr. It had also been there on the day Giovanni Auditore had decided to run away like a thief in the night and as he had found his mother sobbing on the bathroom floor with a pregnancy test in her trembling hands. His hatred had been very much present every time Bill Miles came back to this house and to his mother with all those empty promises his mother had been so desperate to believe. And it had been present the day his mother came home sobbing with a box of her bureau stuff and big round belly after Haytham Kenway had decided it was about time to dump her. Well, to credit him that, Haytham had never done a  half-assed job in his life. He had removed her not only from his bed but also from his company to make the cut clear.

This hatred was his always burning petrol which kept him going. And Altaїr knew all too well that he would be nothing without it. This hate was the only thing that preserved him from falling to the ground and breaking like glass or falling into the bottomless abyss of nothingness just like his mother had. Just  _poof_ and there she had been gone within a heartbeat, within a second. If he would ever let this hate being stripped away from his soul he might break down from the weight on his shoulders. How should he get up every morning to make breakfast and to care for his brothers without it? How should he gather the strength and the will to fight back if necessary because otherwise, someone would beat his face to a bloody pulp? All of this Altaїr did not do for himself but for his beloved brothers. He did it for the little ones because they were too small, too weak and they did not understand even how it worked to fight back, nor should they know.

So it was not really that remarkable that Altaїr hated this one guy wholeheartedly, as soon as this man had first decided to deviate from his routine and stop by this small coffee shop exactly at 11:13 AM one morning. His arrival was announced by the small bells ringing above the door. Altaїr hated him from head to toe, looking over the coffee machine. He hated his black messy hair which he seemingly had not even tried to tame or failed in the process. He hated the goatee that he was wearing like all those hipster boys in town (He would shave Ezio's face personally as soon as he would try to grow a beard like this). He hated this man down to his polished, elegant, black leather shoes which must have cost a fortune. Those shoes that were so usable for kicking a child just to force afterward to clean off its own blood and polish them so that they would shimmer neatly when colliding next time with the child's face.

He hated his black jacket and his tie. He hated his golden wristwatch and this stupidly expensive leather briefcase. And he hoped secretly that he would spill his stupid black coffee all over his _oh so important_ documents. Altaїr might be a man full of hatred, but he surely was no one who wished evil on someone else. It was moments like this when he was embarrassed of himself. How big was the gap between him and Bill if he would begin to wish bad things to happen to other people? He was the guy who offered the other cheek instead of punching back just like his mother had told him to. _Just be kind to the people around you and you will earn kindness in exchange, eaglet. Offer your other cheek whenever someone decides to hit you and God will reward you for it._ Maybe she had known back then all too well that Altaїr would need to remember those words and that he would be hit and punched and beaten more times than he could remember or count. Until now, neither the one nor the other occurred in his life, however. Until now there had been no reward from god and no kindness from men.

But this very morning he would remember probably for the rest of his life. This morning on which a grumpy looking man had deviated from his routine and Altaїr already knew it even in the very same moment as he was standing behind the coffee machine to grant his customer's wishes after his colleague had taken his order. This morning was the worst in a long row of bad mornings.

Altaїr had slept for only one hour the night prior, constantly hopping between the bathroom and the other bedroom. Poor Ezio had hung over the toilet for hours to reveal his innermost to the ceramic. Bill had caught the boy with a beer sitting on the roof of their house and had forced him to drink almost the content of a whole Pub afterward for punishment. Altaїr knew well that this beer on the roof had probably been Ezio’s first try ever and he surely would never have another in his life. And while Ezio had been painfully heaving in the bathroom, Connor had lied in his and Desmond's bed with a serious fever after he had been out in the snow for too long; going after some trail of some animal (Connor was still confident that he had seen a werewolf in the nightly forest from his window).

Desmond had never moved from Connor's side, cowering sobbing by his brother and had not been able to be soothed by his big brother.  It had been a terrible afternoon before this even more terrible night. After he had fetched Desmond from school they had been welcomed with a hard punch to Altaїr's face as soon as they had opened the door. This had all been caused by Bill finding out about the spelling contest in Desmond's class in which poor little Desmond had so utterly failed. He had held Altaїr accountable for his failure because he had not practiced enough with the little one.

Bill was not exactly interested in the marks of his other sons and he did not care if they dropped out of school early or if they would waste their intelligence and lives in a nearby coffee shop. But with Desmond it was different. He was Bill’s own son and Bill liked to pressure him to top efficiency. Sadly, Desmond was not functioning under pressure. Desmond would cry and if it was all too bad he would wet himself either right there where he stood or later in his bed because he would be so frightened to fail again. And peeing his pants or crying were just another reason for punching the poor boy even harder.

On this very morning in December, Altaїr had crawled out of his bet, inspected his brother Ezio who had lied still dead asleep in Altaїr’s  bed and decided to let him sleep after all he had gone through the previous day. He ha called Ezio’s school and the same he did for Connor. Neither one of them would be in any condition to focus anyway and people were already raising eyebrows because of them. He could not risk another call from social services.

Altaїr guessed it had been some kind of motherly instinct that had made him collect Ezio from the bathroom floor and take him in his own bed, hardly awake enough to walk by himself but too heavy for Altaїr to carry. Before Ezio had fully fallen asleep he had mumbled all kind of different, honest apologies to his brother because Ezio knew all too well that his brother would scold him for the beer on the roof as soon as Ezio would be well enough again. Ezio also knew that poor Altaїr had to clean up the mess he had made.

But Altaїr had just rubbed soothing circles on his broad back and had waited until he had finally fallen asleep hoping Ezio would not puke in his bed.  Sometimes he really did feel more like their mother. That had been at four thirty this morning. And it had not been until five in the morning that Altaїr crawled in bed next to his brother, the wretched smell of vomit still in his nose.

It had been hard for him to leave the house this morning. Normally he was happy to escape to go to work or somewhere else if it was his free day. But today he had to leave Connor and Ezio by themselves. After Ezio had still been asleep at the time Altaїr had to go, he had simply decided to grab Connor and drop him next to Ezio. He was not afraid that Ezio could catch Connor’s flue. Ezio had an immune system like a rock. He was never really ill. So he had just thrown every blanket he could find over the two sick boys and left. They could be ill together and take care of each other. Probably they would pity each other by the time Altaїr would get home. They were both a bit whiny when ill.

At least this morning they should be safe for Bill was not home.

So it was not really surprising after that ordeal, that Altaїr's mind still was not in the right place at the moment. His stomach growled like it was pissed at him (and it sure had all the right reasons for it) because he had not really eaten in days. A bite here, a bite there, but Altaїr made sure most of the meals were going into the stomachs of his brothers. Especially Desmond. His hands were shaking with fatigue and chronically hypoglycemia. So it was also not very surprising that he put the ordered coffee - black without cream or sugar - a little too hard on the counter and that the boiling liquid spilled all over the hand of the stranger, as he was grabbing it the same instant.

And exactly that customer began instantaneously to rant. »What the fuck is wrong with you, idiot?« Barked the man and there it was again, the ugly monster in Altaїr's chest. He was stressed and he would like so much to get back at him but instead, autopilot kicked in. Behind his back, his co-workers watched him and whispered little things about his clumsiness. But Altaїr grabbed a pile of paper towels and gave it to the angry customer. »I am so sorry, Sir. I will make you a new one.« Altaїr promised, hands already on the machine, while the black coffee dripped from the counter to the floor.

His neck was hot with embarrassment and his ears surely glowed bright red. Oh, how he hated this stupid job.

»No need thanks.« The angry man spat at him. He would probably be angry too if he were this man, so Altaїr made this fucking coffee without listening to the guy.

»No worry, Sir. It's on the house. I am really sorry, Sir.« Altaїr said again as soon as he handed - carefully this time, _very carefully_ \- the coffee to the man. Extra large, without any cream or sugar. And there went the spare money which he would have used to buy some fruits for the boys to make them feel better soon. He did not need his coworker's commentary to know that this coffee would be taken off his earnings.

Just like he knew, so apparently did the stranger as Altaїr handed him the cup with trembling fingers. Their eyes met for the first time this morning. Dark brown met amber and if this would, in fact, be a romance novel for desperate housewives, this page would say it was love at first sight. _Bullshit_. Nothing like that happened. There were no sparks between their eyes, there were no white doves in the middle of the coffee shop, there was no harp playing in the background and no godly sound or bright light shining on the stranger.

Something different happened. Something that let Altaїr forget to hate just for a moment. The stranger's eyes left Altaїr's just to travel down his face and focus on the band-aid with the silly dragon motive which Altaїr had applied hastily to his face this morning, right on top of the ugly cut that had gone through both of his lips. The cut reopened every time he made a wrong move with his mouth and would be bleeding all over the place. A scar was inevitable. Maybe the time had come to replace the band-aids with the dragon motive with pirate ones in this very manly household. Desmond sure was too old for dragons, although Altaїr was not - maybe this was the reason he kept buying them.

But the eyes of the stranger were not glued to his mouth, they moved again across his face up to his nose were another band-aid had been applied to the brink of his nose to cover a nasty cut. Desmond did this one with lots of love and maybe a little messy. He stared at the bruising at his right cheekbone and up to the scrape on his right temple. Then his eyes seemed to fall on the dark rings under Altaїr's eyes which made him look much older than he really was as they locked eyes again. As soon as their eyes met again, the stranger abrasively grabbed his coffee from Altaїr's hand, turned around and fled the shop hastily.

All this happened in just a second. No godly light, no harp playing in the background, no white doves and no sparks, just a warm fuzzy feeling deep down in Altaїr's stomach which led to not hating the grumpy stranger the next morning, as he repapered exactly at 11:13 AM at the shop.

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»Malik?«

Ezio's voice sounded somewhat disbelieving and his facial expression was none the better. The face of the sixteen-year-old boy was somewhere torn between skepticism and worry. (Maybe Altaїr had hit his head somewhere really badly and now he had trouble to sort out his mind and feelings? Probably a concussion - that would not be unlikely by all the hits he got lately. Drugs would be an explanation, but he did not think this to be the reason. Altaїr would be the last person he knew who would take drugs or drink alcohol freely. No, they all had seen what that kind of stuff could do to a person. Those things made people into monsters and Altaїr was the type of guy who gave always his best to tame his inner demons, if just for the kids.)

Altaїr nodded and just raised one of his thin brows.

There they were. He leaned with his back against the open window of his small room, his arms firmly crossed in front of his chest, fully dressed in shoes and winter jacket. And for the first time, he did not know himself what was going on in his head. His eyes were fixed like always a little stoic at his brother's face, who sat on Altaїr's bed. »But Malik is a male name.« Ezio added to his question and gained nothing more than another nod from his older brother. His face was furthermore an ocean of questions.

That was an attribute Altaїr loved very dearly about his brother. Ezio was a womanizer and he would flirt with absolutely everything that had two legs and would not sit in a tree by the count of 3 - not that a tree would stop him. His little brother had most likely the most experience of them both in that field. And then again he was sitting there like a five-year-old and understood nothing about anything.

Altaїr had never thought he was missing out on something. He had always been too busy to deal with … girls. And then again, if he was honest with himself, girls had never interested him that much either. In his life, there was just one girl he liked and that girl was Maria Thorpe, a former classmate of him and his best friend. From time to time she used to give him something to eat no matter what fuss Altaїr would make. Today Altaїr knew that Maria had done the same thing to his brothers every time she caught one of them.

Now Maria visited college and lived on the campus. Just like most of his former classmates.

»Indeed.« Altaїr commented dryly as soon as his thoughts left Maria Thorpe for a moment. He had not heard from here lately, but maybe she would come back home for the holidays and maybe they would meet by chance. Desmond would explode in happiness if he had the chance to see her and Altaїr … Well, he would do too, he guessed. After all, Maria was the best friend a boy in his situation could have and a friend he needed badly.

»Wait … But then you« Ezio began talking again and his face looked as concentrated as if he was right about to tackle bravely at something, but then his face went blank again and his big brown eyes looked at him confused. »I don't get it.«

And Altaїr knew he was not lying.

It had been three weeks now since he met Malik Al-Sayf and since that day not one day of work had passed without him entering the small shop. On the first day after the little accident, he had stormed into the shop and barked at them for the coffee would taste like crap. After that, he had looked at Altaїr and ordered one for the way.

On the day after this, Malik had yelled at Altaїr's coworker for it would be better if _she_ would make the coffee and for Altaїr to take the orders because it seemed Altaїr was too stupid to make some decent coffee. So Altaїr had changed to the cash register. He did remember how nervous he had been as he got the first chance to ask for the name of this very customer. But Malik had just looked around and grumbled right into Altaїr's face: _»For what could you possibly need my name, boy? There is no one here beside me.«_

Oh well, it had been worth the try.

And just like that the whole week had gone. Everyday Malik had marched in angrily with a frown on his face, had thrown nasty words right at them - mostly in Altaїr's direction - until no one had been brave enough to take his orders anymore. No one except Altaїr. And the very same barista, who definitely should have been angry with the man and who should have dropped salt in his coffee, had been pleased every time the door opened at 11:13 AM to let his own personal dark cloud come in. Sometimes Altaїr had fun at making the wrong coffee for the man just so he had to come back for the right thing. » _Sorry, that was not my intention, Mr. Grumpy-Cat Sir._ «

But Malik never made him pay for the wrong coffee in the aftermath.

As soon as week two had started, their relationship upgraded to the next level. _Grumpy Cat_ became Malik after Altaїr had nagged him about his name to write on the stupid cup numerous times and after Malik got tired of hearing this nickname for him. And » _Hey Idiot, make me my damn coffee_ « became » _Oi stupid Novice make me my damn fucking coffee_ «. It was just as if Jane Austen herself had vomited personally on Altaїr's head.

His co-worker's funny looks at him had not bothered him that much either any longer, but he had been well aware of them every time he grinned stupidly while cleaning the tables or mopping the floor. Even his brothers had noticed his change in behavior sometimes, but they never said a word. And Altaїr knew they just did not want to infiltrate in his little imaginary refuge.

And then at last, on the beginning of week three, of his stormy affair with Malik Al-Sayf in the coffee shop there had been a little note with a mobile number written on it which had been given to him discretely with the money for one extra large black coffee without cream or sugar.

So if one was to keep in mind that Altaїr had not had much experience with such things like love, that he had never been in love before or that he would never have guessed to be in love at some point in his life, one could imagine how confused he had been having this number in his hand. The truth was that Altaїr had no clue whatsoever what he was getting himself into. But he had done it anyway. Probably it had been his subconsciousness deciding that it was time for him to break through his daily routine that was just ruptured from the beatings.

Malik Al-Sayf promised adventure and excitement and this was exactly what Altaїr needed.

So, Altaїr had begun to slip out of his room at night as soon as he had known his brothers were sound asleep and whenever he had the heart to leave them by themselves. Though apparently, his little escapes had not gone unnoticed for a long time. And those escapes were seemingly the reason for Ezio sitting on his bed like this. It had startled him greatly when he had climbed through the still open window back into his dark room just to get attacked by the light of his very own little lamp as soon as he had sat foot on the ground.

All Ezio was missing were curlers in his shoulder long hair and a morning gown to make the image perfect.

Never in his life before Altaїr had felt more caught. »What are you doing here?« He had asked clearing his throat a little. He had felt a little hoarse even now and that was certainly not the fault of the cold weather outside.

»I could ask you the same question, brother mine.« Oh, he was in trouble. Ezio's words had never dripped with venom like this before and to be honest, Altaїr never had the slightest idea that his brother was even capable of making a voice like this one. After all, was it not Altair's job to be the mother in this situation? Somehow his collar had felt very tight and his skin beneath extremely hot under Ezio's piercing look.

»I was just outside for a walk.« At least he had tried. Unsuccessfully.

»But you smell suspiciously fresh like you did just shower. Plus I searched for you. After all, I know where you are going, when you are out for a walk, dear brother.«

Altaїr had known well that it would not make much sense to lie at him further. He was not a good liar when talking to his brothers. And so he had then dropped all attempts to lie to Ezio and confessed like the culprit he was in this room this very moment. He had felt like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

But oh well, wasn’t Malik just a lovely cookie…

»So yeah I was with a guy, right.«

Ezio had still this look plastered on his face. Sighing, Altaїr ruffled through his short hair, after he finished telling Ezio where he had been and with whom more importantly. Outside the sun was starting to get up for her work. At last, he had managed to sleep a few hours at Malik's.

»Yeah, I do understand that. I mean it's cool and all that you met someone in this dullsville, but what did you guys do all night? I mean I heard you leave at like 9 PM  and you are coming back now when the sun is already rising? I am very disappointed in you, young man. You could have at least taken me with you. I sure as hell deserve some fun and games!«

There it was again, Ezio's really stupid side that Altaїr loved so much. At least he loved this side of him most of the time but not so much now. He did not want to talk to his brother about stuff like this and he, for sure, did not want to talk about what they did the whole night and that they for sure did not play any games - at least not in the way that Ezio thought. These were no topics for a conversation with his younger brother, dear god!

»Besides you cannot leave as you please, Altaїr! What if something had happened here? What if Desmond would've searched for you? Or Connor? Just imagine! Connor would've had no problem to climb out that window in his pajamas! He could've gone lost out there in the dark and in the snow! He could've been attacked by wild animals! And what if something had happened to _you_ ? You sure as hell know how things are here in this neighborhood! What if someone had hit you with a car? Or if somebody had dragged you into a dark alley and stabbed you or something? And what if Bill had caught you outside at this hour? He would've beaten you to death and bury you somewhere in the woods and he would've told us you had simply run away! _Jesus_ , eaglet, you were worrying the living shit out of me!«

Suddenly, Altaїr felt not just ashamed because of his sexual escapades but for all the worrying of his younger brother. His mind was, as always, a reliable cinema, filled already with all those gruesome thoughts Ezio rambled on about. His bad consciousness was eating at him like a living creature. Those things he did with Malik were nothing for the ears of his younger brother, but Ezio well deserved the truth after all he had gone through this night.

Suddenly he felt not just ashamed, he also felt like the worst big brother in the whole wide world. His selfishness had made him run away just to have some hour's fun for himself with Malik, while here at home could have happened so many gruesome things to his brothers.

Before Ezio could blabber on like this and get more and more upset, Altaїr rose his left-hand silencing and sighed again. »Yes, I was with a guy and yes, he is something like my friend. No, we didn't play the whole night some stupid game - But we had sex. Are you happy now? And yes, don’t ask: he, in fact, is my boyfriend, so I am pretty much sure that means I might or might not be very much gay.«

Sometimes it was wise to prevent Ezio from asking too many questions, that he had learned for sure in the last sixteen years. At last Ezio was quiet. He was very much quiet. Too quiet. Altaїr's heart dropped down into his pants. The last three weeks he had been so engaged in sorting out his feelings and to make sense of what he was thinking, that he never thought about the reactions of his younger brothers to the news. Maybe he was not really gay - like _gay_ gay. Maybe he just was into Malik like a dog was after his treats. But now he had told Ezio and there was only silence. Thick uncomfortable silence. Altaїr panicked more and more with every second Ezio decided to remain silent.

This was a topic the brothers had never talked about no matter how close they were. And suddenly, Altaїr understood that he did not have the slightest clue how Ezio and the others felt about those things. For Desmond it would not be a big deal, just one big brother more - maybe one that would take care of Altaїr, for Altaїr had no one to look after him. Connor was not interested in this stuff yet so he would probably be fine with it too. But Ezio…

What if he would turn his back to Altaїr because of this? What if he was disgusted with him for being gay? Ezio might take his role from him and take care of the kids and he would horribly fail just because of Altair's selfishness. Desmond and Connor would be sitting in the gutter because of him someday. It was not that he thought Ezio incapable of looking after them, but he would be overwhelmed! They would probably never be sleeping in the same bed again with him - as uncomfortable as it was, it was also cuddly and warm. A small comfort for Altaїr to know that his brothers were all by his side and safe just for a moment. The gatherings in the bathroom would also be a thing of the past. No splashing anymore with Desmond in the bathtub together - no matter how hard it was for his brothers to actually get Altaїr into the tub with his ridiculous fear of water.

A sigh escaped Ezio's lips after what seemed like an eternity. With glassy eyes, Altaїr watched how Ezio ruffled through his own hair. »It was about time.«

»Pardon?«

No yelling, no accusations, no name calling and he also did not fling himself at Altaїr to punch him. »I mean it was about time that you find someone, Jesus! I was worried that you just don’t function right anymore down there after all this stress!«

He would love to slither down the wall. He was not even bothered by the cold air anymore. »What do you mean by that?« He grumbled after Ezio's words had time to sink in.

»Oh, by god, don’t act like you don’t now, Altaїr! After all, it was a possibility! You just have to watch TV more often! _Erectile dysfunction_ or so it's called! They say you get this when you're stressed!«

And again it was really hot beneath his collar despite the cold air and his wandering through the snow earlier. _Erectile dysfunction._ This was for sure the last he would have imagined coming out of Ezio's mouth. And he of course never imagined he would refer to him like this! Altaїr would have loved to strangle the boy, but he decided - to Ezio's luck - that this could wait a few more hours. »So … you are not mad or … disgusted?«

He did not trust the situation, after all, the things that he had seen, heard and gone through in his young life.

And there it was again, this look on Ezio's face just like someone had hit a puppy in the face. »What? No! Why should I?« It was not just surprise shimmering in his brown eyes, but hurt. Oh, how he wished the floor beneath his feet could open up for him and swallow him whole. »You were not seriously afraid I would be disgusted with you, were you? Do you really think I am such an intolerant bastard that I would have some kind of agenda against homosexuals? Against my own brother?«

There was this other attribute of Ezio that Altaїr did not like that much. Ezio was a master when it came to making someone having remorse. And he did it again!

»Wow … I really am disappointed, Altaїr.«

He sounded just like a real mom. He would prefer Ezio would call him  _eaglet_ again. It was a stupid little nickname his mother had called him and one he had never really liked before, but this would be so much better than hearing this disappointment when he said _Altaїr_.

He had nothing else to do as to look down on his still wet shoes, hoping they would eat him alive right now. They did not. _How selfish of you two._

»No … I didn’t mean it like that.« Altaїr murmured still directed at his feet. »I just thought, we never talked about this stuff. It was a possibility.« They had gone through a lot of really bad shit together, that they both knew all too well. They were the oldest and they remembered every single detail of all those years. Ezio had reason enough to be disgusted.

But the half Italian boy finally stood up with a deep growl and walked up to him fiercely. Altaїr braced himself for any kind of punch or kick, but he did not think Ezio would hug him crushingly against his wide chest.

Altaїr was the stronger one and they both knew this well, but Ezio was bigger with his broad shoulders and back. Altaїr was somewhat lanky and athletic - _skinny_ as Ezio preferred to say - and thinner as his brother. Once Ezio had someone in his fangs there was no escaping. So there was no use in not hugging him back.

»You are my brother you stupid idiot.« Ezio growled. »There are no other people in this world that I love as much as my brothers and there is no man on this planet I could trust more than you. Do you think I don’t see how you work off your ass just for us? Or how you silently take the beating for our faults? How could I detest you after you sacrificed your whole life for our well being so we could have a bright future?«

Ezio paused and Altaїr was grateful for that, than otherwise he would have sobbed and cried like Desmond used to when Bill was not home. Desmond may or may not be the only crybaby in this house.

»You _deserve_ a little bit of luck, Altaїr. It doesn’t matter if it has to be a woman or a guy. For all, I care you could be poking your dick in furniture or a love doll as long as it makes you happy, for god's sake! But you have to promise me one thing, Altaїr.«

There was a long pause until Altaїr was able to find his voice again or in fact find a voice that wasn't cracking like he was about to cry loudly. »What is it?« He murmured against Ezio's shoulder and tried his best to ignore that his brother just gave him the permission to stick his dick wherever he liked it to.

»You have to introduce him to me, this … _Malik_.« Again with this venom drippingof the name. »I can't possibly let anyone let have my brother without inspecting him.«


	3. brother-complex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again not beta'd because I dont have a beta-san. so sorry...

»Are you fucking kidding me? I just cleaned you, you fucking piece of shit!«

Altaїr was alone at the coffee shop, but even if his colleagues were here, he would not hold back his cursing about the constant calcified coffee machine. The 10th of January had announced its arrival not only with ice and snow but also with three younger brothers with running noses and with an angry phone call from his boss who called him in on his free day. It seemed like all his coworkers had mysteriously gone ill the very same day and he was the stupid ass who had to stand in. Not that it was a busy day anyway.

Sometimes he wondered how his boss managed to keep the shop alive. But he probably should not ask too many questions, just in case police would someday raid this place and ask uncomfortable questions. One could never be too sure and in this case, Altaїr could honestly say he did not know shit.

He felt tired and his brothers had probably managed to infect him as well. Altaїr had not had any mercy with them this morning, no matter how hard Ezio and Connor had pulled their puppy eyes shit on him. Altaїr had dragged them personally to the school bus and waited there until they had driven off. He did not mind the stupid looks from the other kids in the bus when he would do so. It was only little Desmond who escaped school for this day because of the snow that forced the director to close the elementary school for this day.

»Stop cursing, Alty!« The little voice from the corner made Altaїr sigh. He nearly had forgotten his brother’s presence because of this stupid coffee machine. There he sat as cute and silent as a little boy possibly could be, drawing in his coloring book. 

»Sorry Des, I won't do it again! I make you cocoa for it!« He promised but received only a small hum from the table in the corner. Desmond already was back in his own little world.  For Altaїr it was reassuring to see that his little brother could still descent into his little fantasy world after all this shit they had gone through. They all had learned their own ways of coping with their reality. 

Connor had been drawn out to Mother Nature right from the start, Ezio was drawn to women or unnecessary fights with idiots and Desmond had his little fantasy bubble full of magic and fables. On the contrary, Altaїr had never found a compensation or refuge other than the rooftop of their home or running as fast and far as he could until his legs would give up. He had never been good in zoning out like Desmond. His social skills were lacking greatly and if he would try and go into the woods he probably would either get eaten by a bear immediately or drown in some stupid little puddle after he would have fallen down a hill or something. 

»Listen up! Do I get a cocoa too?«

Yes, Altaїr had never been good at finding compensation and his restlessness had driven him every day until last December anyway. Grinning Altaїr peeked over the damned coffee machine as the door to the shop was closing silently, just in time to see how Malik did let go of the little bells over the door. 

From Desmond's corner there was simply a high pitched happy squeak that sounded somewhat like » _ MALILI!« _ right before the eight-year-old boy jumped from his seat, ran over to Malik and jumped him for a hug. Needless to say that he was only hugging Malik’s hips considering the height difference between them. The main issue was that he, in fact, loved Malik to death, which was a huge relief for Altaїr who did not make any move towards his boyfriend now. Instead, he kept hiding behind the counter playfully.

»Maybe you are lucky.« He said with a serious face towards Malik while he prepared the machine for Desmond's order. »But you'll have to wait, Sir. There is, in fact, a customer prior to you.«

»Pfft.« Malik made and furrowed his brows. »Yeah you just keep doing that, Mr. and I will take Desmond and go have a look at his art.«

And there they went. Altaїr lost his boyfriend to his eight-year-old brother. Well, it was not like it would be the first time anyway since his brothers insisted in meeting Malik. First, it had just been Ezio after he had confronted Altaїr on this particular morning in December. Altaїr had felt extremely uncomfortable calling Malik right on the spot with Ezio listening to his every word and asked him to meet the same day. After all Malik and Altaїr had known each other only for three weeks and were together only five days at that point! Normally one would not let their boyfriend meet their family that soon in a relationship.

Relationship. It sounded strange … but it did not sound that bad.

Malik had insisted on meeting Ezio at a neutral place, so they had met right here in this coffee shop. The two of them had been sitting right there at the very same table Desmond and Malik were sitting now. Altaїr for his part had only been able to peek at them from the counter and had waited for a catastrophe to happen. Altaїr had been ready from the start to barge in if the two would decide to throw stuff at each other or would pour their coffee in each other's faces (at least  _ that _ was something the two of them had in common: they both liked their coffee black, without cream or sugar - and without Altaїr near them at best).

»Sooooo« He had heard Ezio make at some point and perked up his ears. He had promised to stay away from their table - In fact, the two had forced him by threatening to raise hell on him if he came near them. For Malik this probably meant he would dump him or detract sex from his  _ needy little boyfriend _ and for Ezio it would mean something like  _ »Oh dear Brother mine, you had a bed for yourself for the longest time« _ . »So you are the prick who is banging my brother, right?«

»Until this Moment that is correct, yes.«

In this moment, he had been sure that his relationship with his handsome stranger had been over just as quickly as it had begun. He should have known from the start that Ezio would misbehave in this situation. His demeanor had screamed for a fight with someone. 

Nonetheless, Altaїr had been ready to throw one of the heavy ceramic cups at the skull of his brother. He had felt sick to the stomach since he had to call Malik for this meeting and felt sick while watching the two of them. He sure had thought about all the possible scenarios that could occur when these two would meet and he sure had guessed that they had too. If Malik and Ezio would not get along well with each other, he would have to dump Malik that was what Altaїr had decided prior to this meeting. His brothers would always come first.

To be honest he had braced himself already for this outcome, for the possibility to be single again by the end of this day.  _ It were only five days, so what would It matter anyway. It isn't like we were dating for years… _

»How old exactly are you anyway?« Ezio had always been good in interrogating people if he had to. He had always had this intimidating look on his face that could bring someone to his knees - Desmond mostly would cry and Connor would simply kick Ezio against his shin. But it had seemed that this look of Ezio had not worked on Malik in the slightest. On the other hand, Altaїr had never known anyone with gloomy eyes like Malik's. 

»Twenty-seven. You?«

»So you  _ are _ an old creep! I knew it! Don’t you think you are a little too old to date my brother? Are you sure you are not more interested in children?« Malik had not even flinched slightly. Never in his life had Altaїr more hoped to get hit by lightning before. »I'm sixteen.«

»So you are practically still a rugrat.«

Altaїr had wondered if their coffee was already cold. From afar he had not been able to tell, but he had never seen them drink just a tiny sip. Instead, they had sat across from each other, staring at each other with crossed arms, waiting for the other to make a wrong move or show a sign of vulnerability. 

_ Well, I did not think it would be  _ so  _ uncomfortable _ . Ezio had been behaving more like a big brother who had to inspect the new boyfriend of his little sister, ready to punch him right in the face if he dared to mess with her. And Altaїr had no doubt that Ezio would do just that no matter if he could win against Malik or not.

»I don’t like you.«

Yes, this relationship was over. Altaїr had felt like melting into a messy puddle right there and then to pity himself. Seventeen years without sex, without love or the indication of love or a relationship with someone other than his brothers. One fateful day when he had met  _ THE _ guy and all would end with this little sentence of his brother.

Life was not fair.

»Well that’s all right, I don’t like you either.«

Angry and a little too enthusiastically Altaїr had begun to clean the counter. In fact, he had cleaned the wood so thoroughly that one could see it from the door. The boss would not like it, but Altaїr had been so angry that he would clean the whole thing just as good until there was nothing left of the wood. He had not even bothered anymore to look at them. Malik would probably just drink his coffee and would go without sparing him a glance ever again. 

Why had it to be his fate to become the big brother? Why had it to be his job to set his brothers always and without exception at first place? Why couldn’t he be selfish for one goddamn time without feeling like crap? He had thought about the last night and all of these dramatic visions Ezio had fed to him. If he would not put his brothers first, who would? They only had him and as long as it was like this he had to give up everything he loved or was yearning for. It was not fair.

And he hated it.

In that moment, he had hated Ezio's stupid big mouth and that he was talking without thinking first. And he had hated Malik for being so stubborn and straight with what he was saying. They both had not given each other the tiniest chance from the start.

Suddenly a loud clank had brought Altaїr back to reality as Ezio placed his heavy cup a little too hard on the wooden table and Altaїr had peeked - oh ever so careful - over the coffee machine. Ezio had leaned back in his seat, his palms flat on the table. He appeared more like someone discussing terms for a negotiation. Maybe his Italian blood had come through and Ezio thought himself a Mafia Boss. Sometimes he had those dropouts. 

Just like Connor, who had a difficult relationship with tea sometimes - only heavens knew why.

»If you hurt Altaїr in any way - And let me get this straight: If you hit him, try to murder him, cheat or lie or break his heart any other way because he will be too old for a creepy old man like you, I will gut you and cook your innards for dinner.«

Altaїr had left the rag on the counter. Sure he had known his brothers loved him and clung to him, but until this day Altaїr had never heard Ezio protecting him against anyone. And Altaїr had no doubt he would do as he said.

»Sounds fair. But what if he deserves some slap to the back of his head - let's say with a wooden spoon or a newspaper - for some reason?«

Malik had been deadly serious, just like Ezio and Altaїr had never been sweating so much before. 

»Newspaper is all right. Don’t do it too lightly either, so he notices it. I guess he was hit so often on the head that he doesn't notice small hits anymore. But never with wooden things, he is dumb enough already and we don’t want a potato for a brother.«

»So… let's say he did something really dumb from which I would profit-«

»Only we shall profit from his dumbness. Buy yourself your own dumb big brother.«

Maybe the two got along better than Altaїr had originally thought. But the feeling never left Altaїr that both of them really had fun at tearing him apart. He probably should dump them both. He should just leave Ezio on the side of the highway.

»Deal.« As soon as Altaїr had looked at them again, they were shaking hands like old business buddies. »You do remind me of my own little brother, but he isn't a pain in the ass like you.«

In retrospect, the first meeting of Ezio and Malik had not been so bad. It could've been worst. But one thing was really clear to Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad now that he was standing here again and was watching Desmond with Malik: He was extremely lucky to have found a guy so fond of children like Malik. Malik and Desmond were bosom buddies right from the start. As soon as Desmond had laid eyes on Malik he had been madly in love with this new big brother - maybe he actually had a little bit of a crush on him. 

With Connor, it was hardly different. Connor had needed some time to adjust to this situation. At first, he was not too sure what to think about his big brother Altaїr dating a guy. For his younger brothers - except Ezio - Altaїr war an asexual neutron. But after all, Connor had never been the quickest to adjust to new people. Malik was a fucking genius and this was something Connor could appreciate and look up to and as soon as Malik had told Connor that he, in fact, had studied natural science he had gotten himself a new little buddy. It did not take long before the two of them had first escaped into the woods where Connor had shown Malik something he had discovered recently. The forest was even now a place of danger and horror for Altaїr - Nature did not like him and Altaїr did not like nature. 

Altaїr thought that it was probably the big brother in Malik speaking up when he was with Altaїr's siblings. It would not surprise him anyway. Behind this grumpy and gloomy façade there lied just a grumpy young man who had somewhere deep inside him a dark grumpy heart shaped like a cloud. 

Altaїr watched Desmond and Malik for a little while longer even as the order for his two favorite customers was already finished. It seemed like an eternity since he had last seen Desmond open up to someone else like this. In fact, he was not sure if Desmond had ever opened up like this to someone other than his brothers. And it was the first time in forever, that Altaїr did not feel that he had to be worried leaving Desmond with a man.

He trusted him. This thought was new and alien to Altaїr. He never trusted any man with his brothers before. And this new found trust in a stranger also managed to frighten Altaїr a little.

Nonetheless, he would never bring Malik home, not because of his brothers, but because of Bill. Bill already knew that Altaїr was dating a man by the name of Malik. This information had slipped from Desmond's tongue after a long and adventurous day with Malik on the last day of their holidays from school. Altaїr did not really mind. He knew well enough that he would find out eventually one way or another. Desmond simply had not thought before speaking and Connor already scolded him enough for that. The two boys had not spoken a word for two days to each other and Altaїr had to share his bed since Connor had kicked the little one out of theirs. 

Puberty at its finest.

Of course, Bill was raising hell on him since that day and the nights in this house had never been more frightening and short, but Altaїr had noticed that it did not bother him as much as before. He now had someone to flee to and who accepted Altaїr how he was. He accepted Altaїr with all this shit going on, with all this ballast on his shoulders and his brothers.

In fact, someone should decorate this man. 

Altaїr knew well that he was not always easy to handle. He had those violent mood swings whenever his mind had time to summarize what had happened in his young life. He was always so frustrated with himself and his life and how unfair the world seemed to be. He could cry for hours snuggled in bed with Malik or sit on some windowsill and stare outside or he would yell and scream for no reason at the poor guy. But Malik seemed to have no interest in dumping Altaїr. Every other guy would already have left him.

But the little arrangement between Malik and Ezio had worked out already for him. Altaїr already had given up counting how much Malik had hit him over the head with a newspaper. And Altaїr had deserved it every time. 

Sometimes he thought Ezio had said these little mean things about him because he knew how troublesome his brother could be and because he, in fact, did want Malik in their lives. 

»Oi Novice did you fell asleep? Your customers are waiting!«

He nearly dropped both mugs. Altaїr had watched them for so long that he, in fact, had zoned out for a little while. This happened often in the recent time.

»Yeah we are waiting, Alty!«

He wheezed. »Great this man is contagious.« He grinned finally while he walked over to their table. »If you corrupt my innocent little brother you two are not allowed to play together anymore.«

»Why do I have the distinct feeling that you are a little bit stressed?« Malik said while Altaїr put their mugs on the table and knelt beside them. He was just high enough to have a look on Desmond's drawings. They weren't as scary as they used to be but he was using too much red for Altaїr's liking. 

»Well, I don’t know. Why do you?« He shot back playfully while looking up into his dark brown eyes. He couldn’t trick Malik. So Malik just ruffled through Altaїr's short brown hair before he gently rubbed over a small cut on Altaїr's temple with his thumb. Malik was doing things like that often and he always had this look in his eyes that very clearly told of his desire to kill the man responsible _. _ Probably he would've said exactly that if it was not for Desmond being with them.

»Tomorrow is a special day.« Malik said instead of answering Altaїr's question. 

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»Are you serious, Altaїr?« 

Malik's voice was nothing more than a low and deep humming sound, like every time he just woke up. Maybe it was not the best time to discuss serious things with the man, but on the other hand, this was as good a time as any other. They were in Malik's flat at the better part of Dorchester like every time they met. He could never bring Malik to his place, even if his brothers knew.

It would end in a bloodbath. 

Ezio hated it to let him snuck out at night, but he watched the boys at least for a few hours of happiness for his older brother and if there was any emergency Altaїr had left them Malik's number although Ezio would never call the guy. But now as the boys did not have to go to school because of the holidays all five of them ventured out into the world every time Malik had free time.

Ezio and Malik were simply coexisting when together. But at least they did not bud their heads together and could even laugh on Altaїr's behalf if he hit his head somewhere or dropped something. At least they were bonding like this, so Altaїr did not make a fuss about it.

At least today Altaїr did not have to think about going back home and climbing through his window back into his room because his brothers were sleeping in Malik's living room. Altaїr had no clue what the boys told Bill for him to believe that all of them were staying at some nonexisting friends houses, but if he was drunk enough it maybe had not been too difficult to come up with something. 

The last night had been a little challenge for Altaїr. He was not used to be quiet when being alone with Malik and he had trouble on concentrating because he had always feared Desmond could barge in on them. Malik did not mind, maybe he had even liked to have Altair silenced and submissive under him.

»Of course I am.« He stated flatly and a little absent while he sat up and looked outside Malik's window. It was snowing again and they promised the boys to go ice-skating with them. Altaїr really was not looking forward to it. But for now, he looked again at Malik who was lying on his front, his crumpled face in the cushion. 

They were smart enough to get dressed again this night just in case. For Altaїr it was simply a habit to rub Malik's back soothingly and Malik seemed to like it. At least he never complained about this caring gesture.

»You know that this is a real big step forward, right? Have you thought about the consequences?«

He knew Malik did not consider him stupid, regardless of the jokes Malik and Ezio were making on his behalf. Malik simply was the guy who would ask this kind of question. He was extremely orderly and detail-oriented. »Yes, I know this. I know about the consequences. But how different can it be? It simply can't get worse, can it? Desmond turns nine in a few months and he still wets his bed if he is frightened.  Connor’s teacher still calls me nearly every day because the boy won't speak a word in class and separate himself from the others. His marks are terrible. And there is no day in which Ezio won’t get into any fight or chase a girl. He either will get into a fight with the wrong guy someday and won’t get up afterward or he will bring home his own child. It can't go on  like this.«

»Yes, I know.« Malik mumbled before he heaved himself up and sat on the bed slowly. When he was with other people Malik was a charming guy, friendly like hell and great with children and when he was with Altaїr he seemed to show only his bad sides. 

But when they were here in the secure confinements of Malik's bed it was not hard for Altaїr to remind himself why he fell in love with Malik in the first place and that it was not just because of the great sex.

Sighing Malik fell on his back again, but not without pulling Altaїr with him and closing his arms tightly around him. Underneath his nerdy clothing, there was a muscular body which Altaїr very much liked. Malik was always a surprise. Seemingly lost in thought Malik tenderly caressed Altaїr's left arm just above a nasty dark bruise. »Don’t get me wrong, eaglet. I do want that you manage to escape from there.«

»There we go. I turn eighteen soon, next January. And as soon as this day has come I will grab them and disappear from this hellhole. It's already prepared. I found a small house on the other end of town where we can hide until everything is finished. The rent is cheap and for the time being, it will work out just fine.«

»I know that you will stick to this and you sure can manage it, but I just don’t understand why you don’t want to live here for this whole ordeal.«

»Do you really want to live with four other guys in this apartment? With just one bathroom? It's no problem for us, we are used to this and we are used to sharing even a bathtub and our beds, but for you it would be hell on earth! And be sure that we would never have this bed just for us two again.« An argument which hit home, apparently because Malik immediately tightened his hug a little bit and squeezed Altaїr to his side. »And we really have to go ice skating with them?« Altaїr then murmured in a low voice against Malik’s shoulder. 

»Oh come on, you promised it to Des and Connor.« Of course he had and of course, Malik would not waste a second to scold him. 

»I just promised that we would go together. No way that I will put a food on this ice.«

Malik laughed with a low hum and his whole body was shaken by it which brought a small grin to Altaїr's face as well. To lie snuggled up like this with Malik was very different to cuddling with his brothers. And Altaїr loved to hear this humming laugh, this rich and warm sound he was making. Altaїr had met many men in his live and heard them laugh, but it was the first time that he liked what he heard. Maybe because Malik never actually laughed at him for being stupid or because someone poured something over his head or kicked him or because he had to crawl up the stairs like a beaten dog because he was in fact so horrible beaten that he could not walk on his own two legs any longer. It was hard to get those sinister thoughts out of his head. 

»Someday you will tell me about this fear of water of yours. Connor says you even avoid stepping in puddles on the street.«

»Oh, this little traitor.« Altaїr commented and hit Malik playfully against his chest. »Yeah well  _ maybe _ I'll tell you someday, but only if  _ you _ tell me why you did come to that café every day if our coffee was soooooo bad.«

Malik did not roll his eyes, no, that was something for the younger ones. Instead, he slapped Altaїr tenderly across the head. »Don’t ask a question you know the answer to, stupid novice.«

Altaїr's revenge was a small bite in Malik's shoulder - or in fact in Malik's t-shirt which he always wore for sleeping. The thing was absurdly ugly and Altaїr did not have the slightest idea why Malik's pink shirt said  _ »World’s best mom« _ . »Oh, of course, I know that you just came by because you liked the sexy Barista there. But the question is  _ why _ you like me?«

»What do you think smartass?« Malik's mouth twitched barely visible into a small smile and an amused glimmer shone in his dark eyes. 

» _ Obviously _ because I am extremely pretty and because you probably were blinded by this sight after you came into the shop.« The sarcasm dripped from his every word. 

»It seems you have something other than your pig head in common with Ezio. You are both extremely positive about yourself.«

Altaїr pouted his lips, but he knew he could not warm Malik with something like that so he willy-nilly had to say something serious. This guy was a fucking enigma if he chose to be. He was the living bearded sphinx! Sure they had not been a couple for a long time now, not even a month, but there were so many things that Altaїr just did not know about this man. Never in his life had he been so interested in someone else like this. 

»Well, you see…« Altaїr began. »You were the very first person that ever made the effort to really  _ look _ at me, right from the start. Most people look at someone, but they don’t really  _ see _ because they don’t want to ballast themselves with the problems of others. And I really don’t think that you just have a  _ soft spot _ for something like a beaten teen.«

»Well, I don’t think that you need someone with a  _ soft spot _ for something like this by your side or someone who thinks he needs to protect you. I think you can manage that yourself pretty well.«

»Soooooooooo?«

Malik groaned and Altaїr did not have the slightest clue why he even tried to avoid answering him any further even though he clearly could not escape him. He clearly knew that Altaїr would not simply give up asking. He wanted an answer and he wanted it now, no matter how hard he had to nag him for it.

»Oh dear lord why am I doing this to myself?« Malik groaned before he pinched Altaїr's nose and held it until the youth knocked against his chest for release. 

»Because you  _ like _ me?« Altaїr teased after he got his nose back. 

»No, no I don’t think so.« Malik grinned but then his expression turned serious again. »Maybe I thought just for a moment that you needed help as I saw you there and how you looked. But then again I understood that you are clearly no damsel in distress which needs rescue and maybe this did impress me a little bit. But, well, maybe I just have a kink for band-aids with dinosaurs on it.«

»Dragons.« Altaїr corrected grinning. He knew that this was probably the best answer he could get from the old man for now so he dropped the topic. But Malik sure as hell would not drop it now. 

»So … why did you call me the same evening I gave you my number? So needy for some cock?«

He should have known Malik would ask now that Altaїr had begun to discuss this topic. It was just a little revenge for the older. They both were not the best in discussing their feelings or to open up more than necessary and nevertheless they got so close in this short period of time. Within just a few days Malik had stolen his heart silently and now he had reserved a really big spot in it with his towel, sun bed, and umbrella and was chilling there with a margarita. 

Sometimes Altaїr wondered if Malik felt the same as he did. Well, they did not use the  _ L- word _ just yet, but this was the teenager speaking. The adult knew the answer already. If Malik would not feel the same way, Altaїr might also lie here in his bed, but surely his brothers would not sleep in Malik's living room. And if Malik would not feel like he did than Malik would not have ordered so much pizza and ice last evening against Altaїr's bickering about it. And he surely would not have used the idle time to puzzle together with Connor and Desmond while Ezio had chilled in his bathtub ( _ »Malik we do have our own bathtub at home you know? That really isn't necessary!« - »I decide what is necessary in my apartment and I sure as hell don’t want to have a smelly Italian launching on my couch.«  _ \- In Malikish this meant something like  _ »Now let that poor boy enjoy himself in my bathtub for  _ just this one time _ before he has to share again. Puberty is hard enough already!« _ ).

»Maybe I just have a kink for grumpy old men.« Altaїr countered grinning and just as Malik opened his mouth to say something many things happened at once. 

First, there was a loud thump from the living room and then a voice which sounded suspiciously like Ezio's calling  _ »No, Desmond don’t do it!« _ just before the bedroom door slammed open and there was a heavy weight dropping on the bed. 

Desmond just did not have any shame to crawl from their foods up to Malik just to sit on his belly. Altaїr did not have any chance other than to make room for the little one so Desmond could press himself shamelessly against Malik's side just on the spot Altaїr had occupied before. Altaїr was nearly kicked out of the bed and looked frowning at Malik. But he just shrugged with a grin on his stupid face. »Hey don’t give me that look, young man. It's not my fault that I am clearly cooler than you.«

»He's right.« - Came a tiny voice from the door where Connor stood and poked his head into the room with his really messy long black hair. 

It seemed that Malik had managed to steal his brothers from him within just this few days. That left Altaїr with just Ezio. And Ezio clearly was not as cute as the other two and also he could not really cuddle with Ezio because the boy was already huge! They would always fight when lying in the same bed - except Ezio was so ill or tired he just laid there like dead. 

Sighing Altaїr waved at Connor so the boy would also come to the bed because it was clearly not yet time to leave the bed as Malik's clock told him. Carefully Connor crept through the room and crawled into bed with them. Altaїr frowned again as he decided to lie at Malik's other side. Instinctively Altaїr sniffed himself. Did he smell so bad that not even Connor came to him? 

»Oh just wait, you traitors. Revenge will be mine.« Altaїr threatened.

He looked again at the door and now there was only a really sleepy looking Ezio scratching at his belly. Although the boy seemed relieved to see them both dressed. 

»Oh get your ass over here already.« Altaїr grumbled at Ezio and got comfortable again in the bed. It did not take long before the bed gave in under the weight of Ezio. And here they were again. Five Guys squeezing in bed together like hens on a row. 

Altaїr wondered if it really was that good of an idea to let Malik met his brothers. 


	4. Happy Birthday, Altair

Altaїr was looking in three pale faces, haggard with sleep deprivation and worry, tired from an ongoing cold. Ezio sat on the dusty floorboards of Altaїr's narrow room, while Desmond and Connor were sitting on his bed. It took Altaїr some time to soothe the youngest of them enough that he finally stopped crying and it was Connor who managed to distract the poor guy with his favorite toy which he wiggled in front of Desmond's nose until he got his full attention.

Moments like this left Altaїr glad that Desmond was still so innocent and so much just a little baby despite his age.

The room was cold as ice since the heating failed again and Altaїr knew very well, that Bill would not have the intention of repairing it soon. Outside his window. the snow had started to fall again in thick and heavy flakes. It did not look like it was stopping to snow anytime soon. Probably the snow would try to cover the whole city under a thick, white blanket. 

Altaїr leaned with his back pressed against the wooden door and felt the bolts of the locks he had installed squeezing against his spine. For a moment he just listened to the noises of his home. It was silent downstairs but for the creaking of the wooden bars or the whistling of the wind which intruded through every crack in this old house and transformed this place into a fridge. 

The silence would not last long for surely. It was about time for Bill to come home from his daily after work booze-tour through Dorchester. Outside the sun was setting already and tinted the whole snow covered world in a gloomy blood red light. It was so cold, that Altaїr did not have any doubt that tonight the sky would be so clear that he would be able to see every little star. What a beautiful idea to just lie on the roof of his house, covered in blankets and just watching the stars and all the wonders of the nightly sky.

He listened to Connor and Desmond playing with each other, throwing the little toy - an owl which Malik had given to Desmond - back and forth between them, fully engaged in their own little bubble. Altaїr thought back to the late morning in the café where he had spent a little time with Malik and Desmond. If Malik were here now, the world would not seem as dark. Desmond would laugh and Connor would be more relaxed. Instinctively Altaїr rotated the small silver ring on his left ring finger slowly. It was only a little surprise from Malik to him, nothing more than a piece of steel sheet with no worth whatsoever other than the idealistic and the worth of the promise behind it. Altaїr first had to get used to the feeling of wearing a ring, for he had it only a few hours now. Ezio had previously asked him about the ring, but Altaїr was not sure if his brother believed him as he had told him that it was only a good luck charm for their operation tonight. However, Altaїr knew that this was the truth.There were no serious feeling attached to the ring, only concern.

But Malik was not here. They were alone like they always were and Altaїr did not have anything other than his memories of Malik's big hand soothingly petting his neck to banish the deep worry lines from his young face. 

»Is everything ready?« Altaїr turned to Ezio after what felt like an eternity. The three of them had already been waiting for him as Altaїr came back from a little shopping tour. Ezio had looked after the kids, a very much appreciated alternation for the oldest to get his head clear. 

A nod in the direction of his bed was all he got. A piece of a large, black travel bag peeped out from under the end of his bed. Altaїr did not waste any second to kick it under further just in case after he bridged the distance between the door and his bed. 

»What about the rest?«

»Our backpacks are ready in our room. Don’t worry, Altaїr.«

_ Don’t worry _ , yeah that was said so easily. For all he knew it was not Ezio who had to do what had to be done. It was Altaїr's obligation to get them all out of here and someplace safe and he did not have the slightest idea how to manage it. Bill was like a bloodhound who listened to every single sound in the house. It was something different when Altaїr would climb light-footed out of his window at night than it was for four young men to walk over creaking floorboards and screeching stairs to get out of the old front door. 

It really did not matter anyway because he could not do it right now as much as he would like to. He just wanted to use this moment of favor to get them out of here while Bill was not home but Altaїr knew very well that he simply would make things difficult if he would act inconsiderately. The situation was not any better since Ezio got home with a bloody face again.

»Vieri again?« Altaїr murmured tiredly and rubbed over his face.

»It was not my fault this time Altaїr I swear!« Ezio affirmed with a serious face and honest big brown eyes looking up to his older brother while Altaїr strolled through his room to release some of his energy. He had to move his body, at least to keep himself warm and further to distract his mind from the task ahead. »I really tried to avoid this dumbass recently, but he and his stupid friends ambushed me on my way to the toilettes! Listen Altaїr, I will not let someone beat me without any fight, especially not  _ Vieri de fucking Pazzi _ ! He got what he deserved!«

Ezio stopped under Altair's gloomy look. A small part of him wanted to yell at Ezio, but he knew better than that. What difference would it make anyway? Sure he was angry and tired of this shit and sure he wanted to slap his brother. It could have been a quiet evening. They simply could have avoided Bill but as things were now Altaїr knew exactly what would happen. Bill sure as hell knew about this thing already. Lately, the school called him directly on his mobile after the kids started to refuse to answer the landline when Bill was not home.

On the other hand, Altaїr did not want Ezio to not defend himself if someone would attack him. It was right. Ezio should not think he had to bow his head and accept every blow. Surely it was not Ezio's fault that it had to happen today and it was not also his fault that he had this short temper. Ezio was a good boy, he really was, but he was frustrated just like Altaїr and he had good reasons to be frustrated.

Sometimes Ezio was just like one of those really big dogs which tried so crawl on mummy's or daddy's arm frightened and thought themselves Chihuahuas. Just like most young men Ezio's age and build he simply had too much strength and no clue how to handle it right. Altaїr in contrast to Ezio was no one who would openly start a fight with someone. He would not simply yell at someone or start a useless argument, but he would punch back if he needed to.

At least he would as long as it was not for William Miles. Altaїr knew the boys would pay afterward if he would rebel. So all Altaїr did was to make a bold commentary on something but kept himself under control for the most time. He was good at this but it was not just for his own credit, he had to thank Malik for this skill as well. The older had shown him many new ways to cope with all his anger and energy and this not just in bed. Together they would run freely through town or across the rooftops of Dorchester and Altaїr had learned many new ways how to use his lean body thanks to him.

Last time he had fought back, Connor had paid the price with a kick to the stomach. The poor guy had not been able to walk upright for one week since his ribs had been bruised so heavily that Altaїr had panicked the whole time whenever the little one had wheezed or coughed or whimpered in agony. They could not afford to pay the hospital bills when things like that happened and he also would not draw the attention of social services on them, but Altaїr had been scared to death that he could lose his younger brother to internal bleeding after the kicks with the heavy workboots.

»I am so sorry, Altaїr.« Ezio sighed guiltily and Altaїr knew that he really meant it just telling by the way he sat there, his long legs pulled against his chest and arms wrapped around his knees tightly. He just looked like someone whose actions had caused the end of the world.

»Don’t worry.« Altaїr stroked through Ezio's long hair before he sat on the bed with the kids. »It will be alright I promise. How serious was it this time?«

Desmond was quick to abandon Connor and to crawl in Altair's lap together with  _ Owlik the owl _ just like he always used to. Sometimes Altaїr wondered what it would look like if Desmond would do this even if he would be sixteen or seventeen… Well, Altaїr would not mind. He would never mind comforting his brothers no matter how old or big they would grow. He often enough slept with Connor in his arms or Ezio so the two kids could experience having a bed for themselves.

»I don’t know … Last thing I know is that the principal yelled at me and suspended me for today after Vieri was brought to the hospital. I guess he had to get his nose fixed this time and maybe he broke his ankle as he unfortunately fell down the stairs.«

Altaїr did not even think that Ezio had truly tried to hurt the boy, but he had. It sure was not the first time that he got suspended from school, but Ezio would be graduating soon. What would become of him, when he would do things like that the whole time?

Just to occupy his hands he waved for Connor to sit next to him and Connor obediently followed his order and sat closely against his side. The bed gave up a long time ago to moan under the weight of four boys. If it would not be for Desmond being so small and light weight and if he himself would be a little heavier, the bed surely would have broken down already which Altaїr would either force to sleep on the floor or to repair the bloody thing. He was good with this stuff. He had even built this nightstand of his himself from old and broken furniture. 

Connor's hair was hanging messily in his face, so Altaїr - skilled as he was - took the hair-band from his own arm and tried to tame Connor's mane orderly. Connor was pouting and looked at him with gloomy eyes, but the oldest did not show any mercy. He simply gave a quick pull to his ponytail which made Connor yelp. At least now he was not sulking anymore. He had given up telling Connor he should cut his hair because of the ongoing discussion every time that would follow:  _ »Ezio is allowed to keep his hair long, why can't I do the same?« _ And after all, the boy was right. 

»Things will be different in the future, Ezio.« Altaїr announced with a stern face and looked firmly at Ezio who just crumbled a little under his gaze. They all knew what Altaїr meant and Altaїr could sense Desmond's big eyes on him. »I except you'll finish the school with remarkable grades and that you will at least apply for Boston University next year. You are not dumb Ezio and I sure did not raise you to be an idiot.«

But Altaїr was not finished just yet after he gave Ezio a bad conscience. His hand found its place on the crown of Connor's head. He petted the boy for just a moment to get his reliance - just like one would do with a small animal. »And you Connor…«

The younger's eyes shot up in disbelief and somewhat shocked. 

»Oh don’t give me that look; I know exactly what you are trying to say. I am well aware that you don’t make any trouble, but I do demand that you work harder in school and that you open up at least a little to your classmates. You did it with Malik too, didn’t you? Can't be that hard, can it? And if you like to we could get you back into boy scouts again.«

Altaїr knew that he could get Connor with this. He cried horribly for days and days, as he had learned that he could not go to the boy scouts anymore because they simply had not been able to afford it any longer. After he had found a partner in Malik for his little tours and scouting trips through the woods and had found himself also a teacher in Malik who could show him all the things he would never learn in school,  Connor had started to flourish again.

Altaїr was a little bit ashamed that he had never made the effort to venture out with his own little brother like this before, now that he saw how happy it would have made him.  

»And what about Des?« Connor grumbled.

»What about him?«

»Won’t he get scolded too?« Ezio demanded to know from the floor, but Altair could only grin. 

»Say it yourself, Des.« He demanded of the youngest, who sat there already in his lap with the most serious expression, crossed arms - poor little  _ Owlik _ was nearly suffocated by the squeeze - and looked very much like a miniature version of Altaїr just without the scar on his mouth and with darker eyes.

»Unlike  _ you two _ I did nothing wrong.  _ I _ know how to behave.«

»Amen!« The oldest grinned but not without giving Desmond a high-five in the process to lighten the mood. It was suffocating in here. Someone should have carved the faces the two others were pulling into stone. It was something between irritation and disgust for the way the youngest would talk to them. After a few seconds Ezio spoke up again.

»I think he just created a monster.«

It was this little sentence which made Connor laugh a little. Dear god … How much did he love to hear this sound and how much did he miss it when he was not able to hear it for a while. His brothers should be always laughing and smiling and if it was god's (or Allah's or whoever's) wish, they soon would.

The mood shifted within a heartbeat, as downstairs the front door was slammed shut and the sound of a bellowing voice rang through every room of the house. All four froze right on the spot. » _ EZIO YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!« _

Desmond scrambled from Altaїr's lap and pressed himself again at Connor. The two of them were cowering in the corner of his bed that was the farthest away from the door within just a few seconds. Even though Ezio and Altaїr got most of the beatings, since Bill knew about Altaїr dating a guy, he attacked everything that was moving in this house. Altaїr was boiling with hatred for the man and he could not fight thinking about the last evening in the bathroom where he had found this really big and nasty bruise on Connor's left flank - a mark of a shoe size 12 he would guess. It also would not be unusual for Altaїr to sit with one of his brothers for hours in the bathroom to help to treat scalded skin after one of them had been burned by scalding hot coffee. 

He stood in one fell swoop as he heard the heavy footsteps coming up the stairs and Ezio did the same.

»Go to bed Ezio.« Altaїr whispered with dark eyes, but the Italian boy shook his head and grabbed Altair's left arm.

»Dude let me handle this. It is my fault, after all, let me pay for it.«

Ezio was right and Altaїr knew it. How should Ezio ever learn if he was never faced with the consequences of his doings? But the big brother inside Altaїr's mind would have none of it. He would never stand not between this door and his brothers as long as he lived.

»Don’t underestimate me, Ezio. I can handle this, don’t worry.«

»But-«

» _ I said go to bed, Ezio. _ «

Ezio obeyed. Like a beaten dog, he walked to the bed and sat with his younger brothers, always ready to jump up again and help Altaїr as the footsteps came closer towards the narrow room at the end of the hallway. Altaїr was not thinking as he opened his door and threw himself in Bill Miles’ way.

»Where is Ezio?« William »Bill« Miles was foaming with rage as he stopped in his tracks in this small dark hallway, after his stepson Altaїr had left his room seemingly curious what this fuss was about. Leisurely, he closed the door behind him and hoped Ezio would wait until they were out of earshot before he would lock the door.

The look in Bill's face could not possibly be more disgusted even if he tried as though he was looking at dog poop in his best shoes. Altaїr had never known him to look differently at him for all those years, although he had tried to put on a show in front of Altaїr's mother to coax her into believing that he and the son of her late husband would get along just fine. The truth was that Bill had hated every fiber of his being right from the start, just as he had hated Ezio and Connor because, in the end, every one of them was just a reminder of other men in his wife's life. 

»I don’t know, he hasn’t come home yet.« Altaїr lied without making a face and folded his arms in front of his chest. He was not a good liar, that was a fact he could not deny and yet, as long as it was for his brothers, he was usually able to pull it off.

»Oh don’t lie to me, faggot. The little wuss is hiding in your room, isn't he? And I bet the other two are also in there! I can't wait to kick your bony ass out of this house to make real men out of those wimpy boys.« His face was so close and his rage so big that he was nearly spitting in Altaїr's face while speaking, but Altaїr did not back away, he was used to it by now. Instead, he made himself bigger in front of Bill and pressured him to step back in the direction he came from with every step Altaїr made towards him. It was like a dance and for the moment being, he had the moment of surprise on his side.

»I said he isn't here you drunken piece of shit.« The teen growled because he already knew how it would end if he would not be able to get Bill's full attention and would not be able to distract him from Ezio. »Connor and Desmond are sick and if you don’t want that they puke all over your shoes, you get the hell out of here.«

Bill's angry grimace became the ugliest grin Altaїr had ever seen on someone's face. »Look at you! Grown yourself some balls recently, have you? I thought you don’t need them anymore now that you get your ass fucked by your new sugar-daddy, you pussy.«

If Altaїr had not heard all of this already, he would boil, but he had himself under control pretty well for his current state of being. He was close - Bill had already nearly forgotten Ezio's very existence already because he, Altaїr, would always be the biggest thorn in his side.

»I bet you like to know, don’t you?« Altaїr spat, now that they were standing by the stairs both with folded arms and bared teeth like some pit bulls only held back by their owners. »I thought that it would be impossible for me to just imagine that you were creeping on us when we are in the bathroom. Isn't it a pity that we are permanent on the same spot, so you never could take one of us alone? I bet you jerk off every night because of us, don’t you? Now I'm interested - Who of us four do you like the most?«

No matter how absurd his accusations were, it seemed that this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Altaїr did not stop him, when Bill’s fist shot at his face, although he easily could have, but his thoughts were with the boys a few steps away from them.  Hopefully, Ezio would simply stay where he was and would not come to his rescue. Bill's fist collided in an ugly crunch with his jaw and Altaїr lost his balance. Normally, he would have paid more attention and normally he would not have lost his balance but Bill's punch was stronger than most times. Did he pull a nerve with his accusation?  _ Until now I never thought him to be a creep,  _ he thought as he fell down the stairs and hit every step hard and with a loud, agonizing  _ thump _ .

All air was pressed from his lungs as Altaїr landed on the wooden floorboards at the foot of the stairs. Coughing and wheezing he tried to get up again and stumbled a few feet away from the stairs. It was not exactly the first time he fell down the steps. They all had left their unique marks on every one of those rotten wooden steps, whilst parents across the country would mark the growth of their kids on doorframes. Dizzily, he increased the distance between himself and the stairs, farther away from curious ears up there and Bill already caught the bait as he followed.

»Now look at you, you poor thing! You can't even take this little slap like a man!« Bill laughed.

The next punch hit him unprepared and threw him again to the ground where he landed on all fours and felt the heavy boot an instant later on the small of his back, pushing him down. »I could easily break your backbone right now, boy, not that you would have one. Look at you all crawling on the floor! I assume you like it this way, don’t you? I would assume you like being fucked like a dog by all those men you hang around with.«

There was this numbing fear again that hit Altaїr. What if Bill would fulfill his threat and would hurt him so badly that Altaїr would never be able to stand up again? What if he would hurt him so much that he would be complete and utterly defenseless? Ezio couldn't do anything against this man! 

His fear must've shone through for just a second because Bill's foot vanished suddenly before the guy grabbed his short hair brutally and ripped his head painfully back to his neck as if he wanted to rip off his scalp entirely. There was blood dripping over Altaїr's face and he felt like the wound on his lips had opened again. »Oh did I see fear in your face, little rat? Don’t worry, son, even if you'll sit in a wheelchair you would pretty much work for stress relief. It wouldn’t make any difference, would it little cocksucker?«

Altaїr lowered his amber eyes to the ground and drilled them into the floor. He tried to appear obedient although everything in him screamed to fight back and punch this man who they had to call father. He wanted to rip him to shreds with claws and teeth.

»Look at me, Altaїr!«

Altaїr ground his teeth and looked up to meet the eyes of his stepfather. He did not have enough time to prepare himself for the next punch which threw him flat on the back after Bill’s fist collided like a bulldozer with his face. He could hear the sound of something breaking on the floor, but he was lightheaded and the blood was pumping through his ears so loudly that he could not make out what it was. The whole room was spinning in front of his eyes and pain exploded like fireworks in his head, but he did not scream. This was something they all had learned from the very start. If they scream or cry it would only get worse. Men won’t scream and men won’t cry. Men would bear the pain. 

»Look what you've done!«

It was just until now that Altaїr saw that his fall had caused the breaking of an old vase, standing nearby. The shards of the once ugly vase were scattered all over the floor just like the old smelly water that had been inside. Altaїr had not even known, that there was in fact still water in the vase but it would explain the strange smell in the living room which now burned into the carpet and wood.

Altaїr remained laying on the floorboards and tried desperately to fill his lungs with air to breathe away the white pain in his head and the agony which flooded his whole body now that he had a little pause to regain his senses. But the moment would not last long as Bill grabbed him again, this time by the collar of his shirt - he heard the cracking of the stitching - to drag him to his feet again and brought his bloated, red face near his. Bill's eyes were fogged from alcohol like a steamy mirror after a hot shower and the rancid smell of his breathing burned into Altaїr's nostrils. 

»You know, Altaїr, I wondered for the longest time now what you've guys been doing up there, especially you and this little Italian brat.« He grinned as near at Altaїr's face as possible, in fact so near, that their noses practically touched. »Just imagine what would happen if I would call social services or the police and would tell them, what this dirty little fag who's living in my house, is doing with his little innocent brothers.«

Altaїr moved without thinking and that was exactly what Bill wanted him to do, but he realized it too late. Something inside of him just snapped. It might as well have been the last thread of his patience that had held him back all the time. He gathered his last power to strike again and thundered his own head against Bill's skull. His stepdad tumbled but did not give Altaїr enough time so strike another time. Instead, it was again Bill, with a speed that he would never have expected from the old man, who grabbed his head and banged his face hard into the shards of the vase and the water on the floor. Altaїr tried desperately to free himself from his grip or to heave himself up just a little, but without any success. And then there was Bill's heavy work boot again stomping on the small of his back before he kicked with all his strength down at Altaїr's backbone. 

First, he could only see stars, but then nothing for a moment. His resistance slacked as fast as it had begun and his last thoughts before he believed to fell unconscious were again with his brothers above his head. If Bill would kill him right here and now - hopefully they would not need to see his body.

But unconsciousness was not granted to him although his head was held in a tight grip by pain and although the blood was pumping loudly through his ears. He was not even in the right mind to analyze his surroundings anymore, but awake enough that the most horrible ideas, what Bill could possibly do to him, could flood his brain mercilessly. He did not even notice how he was being dragged to his limp feet again or how Bill first dragged him through the house and then into the kitchen. He just noticed the different underground as he felt the kitchen tiles under his feet. He was not even able to walk by himself by that point, but relief flooded through him like a shock as he understood that he could, in fact,  _ feel _ the tiles and  _ feel _ his limp feet. That was a good sign; he knew this, although he could not control his lower body for the time being. 

Altaїr heard water somewhere - the sink maybe? He remembered the unwashed dishes standing there since this morning to soak. This was not like him, by now he normally would have cleaned the kitchen. In a desperate attempt to clear his vision he blinked feverishly to see what was happening to him and if he could fight against it. It did not work, his headache just became worse. Instead, Bill's fist grabbed his hair again and pressed his head down. He felt the dirty dishwater after Bill had filled the sink up for his plan without him even noticing.

Altaїr tried to hit him and to push himself up desperately, but his body was useless and barely in the condition to fight and for the shortest moment he did not even know anymore if he should fight anyway.

Then there was air again, as Bill pulled him back for the briefest of time, just long enough that Altaїr could gasp for air, vomit water and cough painfully before he pushed him down another time. Bubbles shot to the surface of the dishwater he was drowned in as the air was squeezed out of his lungs. Altaїr managed to grab Bill's arms with his shaky hands and scraped with short nails frantically over his skin to loosen his tight grip on his head. It did not work that well, but nonetheless, Bill suddenly yanked him back. There was something different that had caught his attention. 

»Look at this! What do we have here now boy?« Bill groaned behind him, but his voice was nothing more than a dull sound somewhere as he was leaning over the sink gasping for breath as hard as he could - his lungs rebelling in agony, burning with pain. His hair and face were stained with leftovers from breakfast. He realized what Bill had meant only as he felt the iron grip around his left ring finger. The memory of this new ring burned in his head. »Is that a gift from your sugar-daddy? Tell me, boy, what did you have to do for this piece of shit?«

First, Altaїr thought that he would simply take the ring away from his hand, but then Bill dragged him to the side, away from the sink. Altaїr saw something silver glistening in the corner of his eyes and felt how his left hand was pushed against the edge of the counter in a way that just his ring finger would lay on top of the wood but his mind was too fogged to make sense of it. 

»Listen, boy, you are mine to do with as I please until you die, just like your brothers. But don’t worry; we could arrange that sooner than you think.«

Altaїr did not see what happened, but he felt the hit and heard the sound as the blade of the knife as it hit the counter and sunk into the wood a little and only then he felt the burning hot pain which put his whole body on red alert and brought back all his senses at once. It was just like he had turned the switch for the light. Suddenly the dizziness was gone, therefore his brain screamed in terror and his eyes were glued to the spot where the blood was dripping from the counter.

Altaїr was not able to scream as much as he would have liked to. He did not even whimper or said anything at least. His eyes remained just on his detached finger lying in his own blood on the kitchen counter, right there where Altaїr normally prepared meals for the boys, right in this spot where he normally made the sandwiches for school for his brothers.  He could see the loaf of wide bread standing right there in reaching distance where he had left it since the cabinets were stuffed with shit. And there also was this stupid butcher knife which he normally used for cutting off the crust in absence of anything better, now stained with blood. 

Altaїr just gasped again for air, like a fish outside the water, eyes remained on this one spot before he was able to press his bloody hand against his chest and sunk to the floor as soon as Bill let him free. He did not even notice how Bill had vanished from his side. Altaїr could not hold himself up anymore, his body was in panic mode and the blood loss and shock finally reached his brain for the dizziness came back again with all it' might. He felt pathetic. He had always been the hero for his brother, the knight in shining armor and now he was a quivering mess on the floor drenched in dirty dishwater soap and his own blood. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bill in front of the stove, but he could not see what he was doing until he was again right there by his side. Altaїr flinched but Bill gripped him nonetheless and pulled him again to his feet just to shove him against the stove. 

There was this one thing Altaїr had always loved about the old gas cooker: He just needed to light the flame put a pan on it and within mere seconds he would be able to burn his fingers on the pan. That could come in handy when one had not much time on their hands, not so much when there were small kids in the house, but it was the horror for him in this very second as he realized what would happen. 

The old man grabbed his left hand again and pressed the bloody stump that had been his ring finger only moments before against the hot base of the pan.

The smell of burned human flesh filled the kitchen immediately and Altaїr's scream ripped through the house, while Bill was holding down his hand for a moment longer before he let the boy sink down to the floor after Altaїr simply could not take the pain anymore. His systems were shutting down within seconds. 

He slumped to the wet kitchen floor and this time he could not even manage to think about his brothers.

It was enough.

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Ezio covered his face with his hands while he listened to the fight on the hallway just a few feet away. He could not do anything other than to sit here, wait, and hope that Altaїr would come back soon, while he would cower in here like a child. Bill's yelling was so loud that Connor pressed his hands on Desmond's ears. He felt like crap - Not just because he should be the one outside this room being beaten up, but because he should at least protect those two. He should be pressing his hands on Desmond's ears and he should be the one holding Connor in his arms. It was not Connor's obligation to protect Desmond, it was his. But all Ezio could do was to sit here and peek through the gaps between his fingers down on his feet.

A moment later there were many loud thumps and Ezio jumped to his feet without hesitation. He sprinted for the door and had already his hands on the doorknob as he could hear Connor's small voice behind him. » _ Ezio …  _ **_please_ ** _ come back. _ « He whispered desperately for him to join them on Altair's bed again.

Ezio stopped with his hand on the brazen doorknob and breathed. For just a moment he just concentrated on breathing, before he even could manage to think clearly again. Altaїr left him here with an obligation and if he was not good for anything else, he could at least do what he had been told. His hands slid experienced to the bolts on the door and locked them because now he knew that Bill was out of earshot. Ezio knew well what this noise before had meant - he had heard this sound many times in his life before. One of the men had fallen down the stairs and all Ezio could hope and pray for that it was Bill who had fallen and maybe broke a bone or two.

After he had locked the door and gave it a reassuring little press, he hurried back to Altaїr's bed and ripped the covers up. Ezio crawled to his younger brothers and with that he threw the blanket over all their heads in one swift move so that they were completely engulfed by darkness.

»What are you doing?« Connor squeaked and let go of Desmond's ears finally, but Ezio just flung his long arms around his baby brothers and pressed them against his broad chest in a futile attempt of soothing them. 

»I made us a blanket fort.  _ Psssssssst! We are under attack! _ «

This was the genius plan he had come up with to distract the boys - at least Desmond - and it seemed to work. »You are not very good with that, Ezio! Altaїr makes it much better! You can't make a blanket fort with just  _ one _ blanket!« Desmond whined while Ezio sighed in relieve as his little brother had already caught the bait.

»Yeah, that's right!« Connor helped immediately. »I think you have to work on that. You should let Altaїr or Malik teach you how to make a decent fort. Not even  _ Owlik _ likes it!«

Whereupon  _ Owlik _ said »Shoohoo« to taunt Ezio’s blanket-fort-skills.

He could always count on Connor when it came to distract Desmond because the younger one surely knew how helpless Ezio would be in this task without him. He was not Altaїr and he could not handle things like him. The thought that something serious could happen to the oldest while they were up here was numbing him already, for Ezio had no idea how he should protect and care for the kids without Altaїr. Ezio knew that Altaїr always thought his younger siblings would take him for granted, always there to care for them and help them whilst nobody was helping him in return. He had been ready to even dump Malik for them if they had not liked him!

Altaїr was no one who would say such things loudly, but he and Ezio had always been together so he pretty much knew everything that could happen in Altaїr's mind even before he knew it himself. Maybe that was the reason why he and Malik had not a good start because Ezio was nothing other than a jealous shitty brat who was frightened to lose his beloved big brother, his best friend with whom he could talk about absolutely  _ everything _ . 

How should he possibly live without Altaїr by his side? From downstairs, there was a loud clang.  _ Probably that ugly vase, that stood there since mom's death. _

It had been never this hard to just sit and do nothing. Ezio knew that most people thought of him as a clown, an idiot who could not do anything other than fight or flirt with girls. They thought of him as a selfish little brat, who exploited his big-hearted brother and let him take the beatings for his faults. Sometimes Ezio feared that they were right. Maybe he was just a selfish little brat who would rather cower while his brother was beaten to death. After all he had allowed his brother, the fucking genius of this family, to not apply for a college and instead had allowed him to waste his intelligence and potential behind a coffee machine and he had allowed Altaїr to believe that he did not even deserve to be happy with another man for the sake of his brothers.

Like always it was Connor who sensed his restlessness because suddenly he pressed his black tuft against his shoulder. Usually, Connor was not very fond of touching in any way and the only exception to that were indeed his brothers. »Do you think a mohawk would suit me?«

It did not take much effort to distract someone like Ezio with something so utterly banal. Maybe he was just a little too easily suggestible. »A mohawk? Where did that come from?«

»Well … you see …  _ Look _ … I saw it recently in some of those magazines which the girls are always reading. And you see… there was this guy they all liked soooooooooo much and he had one!«

»A what?«

»A mohawk!«

Ezio couldn't help but laugh although he just did not want to. »So it happened at last! My little brother understood that girls are not so disgusting anymore!«

»Sure they are!« Desmond murmured, but Connor was pouting - Ezio did not need to see it to know that he was.

»What does that have to do with it, you idiot?« Most of the time Connor simply would not use such a word. Connor was - just like their mother had always said - an angel. Sure, Desmond was also really cute when he wanted to be, sweet and well-behaved, but it was different with Connor. Connor simply was a darling, a sweet-hearted boy. Sometimes he would answer back to them, but he couldn’t hit a fly.

»Alright, alright!« Ezio laughed. » _ Dio mio _ … A mohawk, you say? No, I don't think it would suit you, you have such a cute face. Other than that you love your long hair!«

Connor opened his mouth again to say something - most likely he would want to say that he was not cute - but they were disrupted as a loud scream filled the house and left the three brothers frozen in shock. Ezio did not need Desmond to know that »This was Alty's voice…«.

This time it was Connor who jumped from the bed to run for the door but Ezio grabbed his arm and forced him to sit on the bed again while he himself stood up. He respected Altaїr's orders, but his scream had him shaken to the mark and left him with wobbly legs. Whatever reason there was for Altaїr to scream like that, it sure as hell was nothing Connor should see.

»You stay right here with Desmond, got it?«

»But-«

»Did you hear what I just said, Connor?« His voice had grown louder, but while Desmond looked frightened up to him, Connor just seemed angry. Nonetheless, the boy nodded. »Good. I'll go downstairs now and have a look. You two are staying right here until I come back, okay?«

Connor nodded again and Desmond clung to the older one which was as good as a yes for Ezio. So he went to the door and opened first the locks and then the door but this time with a heavy beating heart. Carefully he looked out onto the hallway - no one to see - and looked back to his brothers to see if they were doing as he had said. Then, at last, he left the room light-footed. On his way, he made sure to avoid every squeaking floorboard and every creaking step.

He could see the broken vase already from the staircase but no trace of Altaїr and Bill. Suddenly the house felt eerie and it was much too silent for Ezio's liking. Beside the living room, there were only a small bathroom and Bill's bedroom left on this floor other than the kitchen. He guessed he could exclude bathroom and bedroom from his list so he walked slowly and as silent as he could manage to the kitchen.

Like always he wanted to storm in, but the stench of burned human flesh made him stop dead in his tracks just as the heavy copper smell of blood lingering in the air did - and yes he knew both of those smells well. For a brief moment, he held onto the doorframe before he could walk any step further, now assured that he indeed had found the right place.

The sight which awaited him left him frozen just for a brief moment and then he simply snapped.

Altaїr was lying there motionless and white like a freshly painted wall on the wet and bloodstained kitchen tiles. He seemed to be unconscious, or at least his eyes were closed shut and he did not show any signs of life. He just laid there, his face in a small puddle of dirty dishwater and blood and his left hand-  _ Oh god _ . His left hand was decorated with a bloody stump where his ring finger used to be which Ezio found a second later on the kitchen counter with the small ring still on it. But what made him snap lastly was nothing of that, but it was the movement he saw, this gruesome rhythmical movement of Altaїr's lifeless body, this wet slapping sound which rang in his ears and made him sick to the stomach. His stepfather was on top of the helpless teenager, pants down to his knees.

Ezio was shaken to the core, he felt the burning sensation behind his eyes as he stormed into the kitchen and pulled Bill off his brother and slammed him in one swift move against the fridge. Ezio did not want to spare Altaїr another glance, because if he did, he would kill the man. Instead, he grabbed Bill’s head by the temples and slammed it against the door of the fridge as hard as he possibly could. »I should cut off your fucking dick you piece of crap!« Ezio screamed and this time he did not think about Desmond or Connor. He could only hear that long beeping sound in his ears, filling his brain completely.

There was this little voice in his head telling him to do exactly what he had just told him. Yes, he really should just take the knife that the asshole had used to cut of Altaїr's finger and cut off his dick which was dangling still in mid-air, his pants now in a puddle at his feet. But he managed to control himself, instead, he just slammed Bill's head again as hard as he could and with a strength, he had not even known he possessed against the fridge until the man himself fell unconscious and was thrown to the ground by his younger stepson. 

Ezio wanted nothing more than to kick the shit out of Bill, as hard as Bill had always kicked them all those years, he wanted to do everything he could possibly imagine to this guy for what he did to his helpless brother, but Ezio just kicked him as hard as he could to his middle and walked on wobbly legs to his brother because, in the end, Altaїr was more important than this piece of shit could ever be.

Altaїr looked awful and Ezio was not even sure anymore if he was still alive at that moment. With every step he made towards his body on the floor, he felt the fear growing inside his chest before he sank to the tiles and felt with trembling fingers for Altair's pulse.

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It was exactly 00:01 AM as Malik Al-Sayf was woken up from his mobile phone going off, lying just next to his head on the small nightstand near his alarm clock. It took him just a moment before he managed to find his phone with a low moan leaving his throat in the process. The display screamed the name and a picture of the caller at him. In this case, it was the picture of a very  _ pretty _ young boy - although said boy did not like to be called pretty - and the name  _ Altaїr _ . Malik just stared for a moment, reminding himself, that this boy, in fact, was his boyfriend - a thought that made him grin most of the time (but sure as hell not if Altaїr was near to see it). So after a second he pressed the green accept button and held the phone to his ear. It was just one minute after midnight, so apparently, Altaїr really was impatient tonight. 

»Hey-« He started, but immediately was cut off.

»Malik!« Ezio's voice stopped him before he could make a fool out of himself. It was not so much that it was Ezio who called and not his boyfriend, but it was the distressed sound of his voice, which caused Malik to stop dead in his tracks. Malik could already see the face of the teen before his very eyes, strained with fear and worry. He would never call Malik freely if not something very serious had happened. Knowing this, Malik jumped right out of his bed after the information had sunken into his brain and started searching for his pants.

»Ezio! What happened?« He asked immediately after he found his black trousers somewhere on the floor and stepped right into them although he did not even know if he would put them on correctly in the darkness around him. It was simply not important anyway. 

»I need your help, we are down here.«

He stopped right where he stood and changed the phone to his other ear before he could even begin to form a response. »What do you mean by that? Are you in front of my flat?« He knew that this was serious. Ezio would not call if it were not serious. He knew that and yet his brain was not processing the information as it should.

»Oh for god's sake, yes we fucking are! Now come on! Just get you fat ass down here old man!«

Ezio ended the call and Malik finally closed his pants -  _ of course, _ he was wearing them front to back, but he ran for the door anyway, jumped into his shoes next to the door, grabbed his keys and made his way down the staircase. It would just take too long to wait for the elevator and also his flat was just on the second floor, so he usually used the stairs - especially now since he had himself caught a young lover boy. 

Malik stormed out of the building, which no one could easily enter without the right key. He stopped as soon as he had run through the front door and let the sight sink in which unfolded in front of him. Ezio had not lied, there they stood, all four of them without jackets in the snow. Desmond and Connor were standing tightly pressed together at Ezio's side, their little backpacks strapped to them. Ezio was carrying a large black travel back on his right shoulder but on the other there was-

»What the fuck happened?« Malik exclaimed as he finally jumped down the stairs and came to a slithering halt just in front of the group. Altaїr hung on Ezio's shoulder like a wet towel, one arm wound across his brother's shoulders, he also was not wearing a jacket - he was not even wearing shoes for god's sake! But the worst part was just how the boy hung there completely lifeless and with his eyes closed. Malik simply had not the time to let all of this really sink in, instead, he lifted Altaїr easily on his arms as if he would weigh nothing at all and guided the three sheep inside the building and into the warmth they so desperately needed. 

It did not take long for them to arrive in his flat after all the boys knew the way already and so just a few moments later Malik was able to lay Altaїr carefully onto his bed. He did not even care for the dirt on Altair's clothes and skin that could stain his sheets. »What happened?« He repeated his question as patiently as he could manage.

Altaїr looked horrible and suddenly he did not seem to resemble the pretty boy on Malik's phone lock screen anymore. The cut through both of his full lips was open and bleeding again, his nose bloody and under his left eye already a nasty bruise was starting to blossom. But all of that was only topped by the many disfiguring cuts in the young unfamiliar pale face. He had dirt in his hair, seemingly leftovers at first glance, little crumbs of undefined dirt, his shirt war ripped at the collar and then-

»That was Bill's doing…« Ezio croaked while Malik carefully took the left hand of his boyfriend in his own and turned it slowly just to see if the finger was not just folded away or heavily broken but in fact  _ not there _ anymore. He felt sick.

The next time he looked at Ezio his eyes were full of fury. Ezio was standing in the bedroom door and suddenly he did not look like this big mouthy teenager who he had met before but like a little schoolboy and the words he liked to say remained stuck in his throat, although he just wanted to yell at the boy.

»Ezio…« Malik sighed heavily trying to remain focused. »For the last time: What happened?«

But then Connor and Desmond just appeared slowly behind their brother. Worried and frightened they looked to the bed and Malik could already see from afar that they had cried, their faces were flushed red and their eyes looked swollen. The residue of salt was stuck to their cheeks, shimmering wet in the light of the bedroom. Malik clenched his jaw as he moved from the bed. This could wait. Desmond clung to his leg immediately and Connor also grabbed his hand, even Ezio seemed to search for his presence as they walked into the living room.

»You sure are tired.« Malik murmured while he and Ezio prepared the guest bed for them to sleep, even though his mind was reeling, even though he could hardly even concentrate on this mediocre task. 

»But we want to sleep with you!« Desmond whined with watery eyes and Malik tried to avoid thinking about what they had gone through tonight while he had been chilling in his warm and comfy flat not worrying about the things that could possibly happen to his boyfriend in this very night. He felt like crap and he would love to grant Desmond his wish, but it was Ezio who joined in.

»Look, Des, Altaїr is very ill at the moment. He needs a little rest, okay? I'm sure he'll be better tomorrow and then he surely wants you by his side so he'll feel better quicker. But for now, we should leave him in peace.«

Desmond nodded reluctantly, but then he took off his pants and scrambled on the makeshift bed, followed by the silent Connor. They left them after they had tucked them in and stated again, that they would just be next door if they would need anything. It felt like an eternity until they managed to finally go back to the bedroom and close the door behind them silently.

Ezio sighed heavily, sat down by Altaїr's foods on the bed and ruffled through his long messy hair. He looked like a big animal had just chewed him up and spit out on the floor again. »It's my fault« Ezio began with his voice scratchy after Malik had occupied his seat next to Altaїr and taken his hand again. The wound looked gruesome if not infected, but while Ezio was talking about absolutely everything that had happened during the day and these last hours, Malik remained silent and just caressed the skin of Altaїr's hand. He was torn between his rage over Ezio's stupidity which caused all this in the first place and his disgust for the man named Bill Miles.

But as soon as Ezio finally stopped talking, Malik could finally press out the words which were stuck in his throat for all this time. »I will kill this guy with my own bare hands slowly and painfully.« And this - Malik knew as well as Ezio knew - was no empty threat. He was ready to kill someone, a feeling he had never known before this day. But after all Ezio had told him and how he had found his brother, the man deserved nothing less and Malik would happily go to jail laughing and dancing for he had avenged his boyfriend and his siblings.

»I am so sorry…« Ezio whispered, his face covered with his large hands. »If it wasn’t for me, all would be fine right now. We would be still at home and we would've simply gotten away during the day while Bill would have been out working as we planned. I wish I had done it. I wish I had cut off his fucking dick.«

_ I do too _ , Malik thought instantly, while he softly stroked Altaїr's cut cheek. Until now he had not shown any signs of waking up. Maybe it was better this way. He should rest. »What's done is done, kiddo. Instead of lamenting you should help me to take care of his wounds.«

It was already half-past two in the morning as Malik put the dressing material aside and threw the washcloth into the small basin which had been full of clear, warm water at some point. Carefully he tugged his boyfriend under the covers so the cold would not bother him additionally to all of this. Ezio had not any reservation towards his brother which made the whole thing a lot easier. Most siblings would never undress their brothers or sisters even if necessary or would even dare to take care of wounds they just did not want to know about. Altaїr's dirty and wet clothes were lying on a nearby chair and just the thick blanket of Malik was shielding Altaїr from the outside world now.

»Come now, Ezio. It's time to sleep for you too.« Malik murmured tiredly, but Ezio did not get up immediately, instead he sat there for just a moment. Just the thought of leaving Altaїr by himself seemed to frighten the boy.

»Shouldn’t we bring him to the hospital?« His voice was slow and hoarse and Malik knew he meant good and that he was worrying just as much as Malik did.

»We will if it becomes necessary. He wouldn’t forgive us if we would take him to a hospital although he isn't dying.« Malik managed to bring a small smile to Ezio's face before the boy finally stood up and gave a reassuring squeeze to one of his brother's feet as to make sure he was still there. Then he left the room and left Malik in silence.

Malik knew that Ezio would not sleep just as he himself but Malik feared that he, in fact, could punch the teenager in the head if he would remain here with them. It did not matter what Altaїr would say, Malik and Ezio were united in this particular thought: it was Ezio's fault. It was his fault that Altaїr had lost his finger, it was his fault, that his face could end up to be disfigured forever, it was his fault that this scum had raped him while he had not had the slightest chance to fight him. But Malik sure was relieved, that Altaїr at least probably would not even remember this detail.

Slowly and clumsily Malik fell next to his boyfriend on the mattress and watched him for just a moment in the dim light of his night light next to Altaїr after he had turned off the ceiling lamp and thrown his pants off his legs again. Malik could not help but thinking of his own little brother. He could understand Altaїr, he also would do absolutely everything for Kadar.

Someday he would find the asshole who had caused the accident which had killed both of his parents and he would also find Bill Miles and he would make both of them pay for what they had done. This thought brought just a little smile to his face because he automatically had to imagine what they, Kadar and Altaїr, would say to this.

Kadar and Altaїr were very much alike; maybe this was why he loved Altaїr so much. They both would say that revenge never was the right way to handle things and that it would not make anything better or undone. For Kadar, it would not mean that this accident had never happened and for Altaїr it would not mean that the last hours or even the last years had never happened. 

Yes, they would agree on that easily. They would shamelessly join forces against him.

There was a small movement next to him and Malik turned to pet Altaїr’s cheek softly before he scrambled closer after he saw how his eyelids moved ever so slightly. It took a moment before Altaїr succeeded in opening his amber eyes and just as he tried to move, Malik held him down with one warm hand to his chest before he simply laid his arm around the younger man and leaned up to his ear. 

»Happy Birthday.« 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to all you lovely people who commented already.
> 
> I need a pause for I did write constantly since the beginning of this fic X'DDD but I won't make one because fuck it! Rest prepared for the next chapter will be a Connor-chapter and it will be sweet as fuck!


	5. Family

There was this bulletin board on one of the walls in the entry room of the kindergarten of Dorchester, peppered with multiple drawings the children of this facility had drawn. The word  _ Family _ shone in big and colorful letters in the center of the board, cut out of colorful cardboard and pinned to the bulletin board with very pointed needles. Most pictures were bright and colorful with lots of happily smiling people on them and every one of them would at least have three people drawn on them. There always were  _ Mommy _ and  _ Daddy _ in the picture. Sometimes they would stand very close by each other with cute little red hearts above their heads to show how much they loved each other and sometimes they would stay very far apart, but they were there at least somewhere in every picture. There was just one picture that stood out from the others. 

Right down at the bottom in the right corner of the bulletin board hung the picture of a small boy with long black hair and of a woman with braided dark hair and a big smile on her face. They were standing in the meadows and many hearts were floating around them like butterflies. The messy scribbling in the top left corner of the drawing said  _ Connor _ .

With an uncertain face and a shy look, he had given his kindergarten teacher the drawing for her to hang it with the others. She only wrinkled her forehead for the shortest of time, but then she had said nothing about the drawing anyway. It was not even a lack of interest in the boy, but she knew like all the others, that she would not get a decent answer out of the puppy-eyed boy if she would ask him why there were only he and his mother in the drawing. They all knew the family well since little Connor was the third child of the now newlywed Mrs. Miles, who was visiting this kindergarten. All they could do was to talk to Connor's mother if they would find a new bruise on the boy or if they noticed how tired he was looking. They only could threaten her with calling the social services, but that would be just as hard as a punishment for the little boy, then it would help the family.

»Oh, Connor my dear, did you draw this?«

A young woman stood in front of the bulletin board in the entry room of the kindergarten, the look of her big brown eyes glued to the little drawing at the bottom right corner. She was in her early thirties and for the boy beside her, she was the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. He loved her quite dearly. He loved her long dark hair which she had obviously passed on to him, he loved her petite figure, and he loved her elegant face and her full lips, her big warm eyes and the big smile when he would do something good. He loved her long red fingernails and the smell of hers, he even loved her taste in clothing and her massive black handbag where she was keeping little treasures all the time. As Connor did not answer her, she knelt down beside him to have a better look at him. Under a layer of makeup, she tried to hide a nasty bruise, but Connor knew it was there for he had watched her while she had been putting on her makeup this morning. Even if he hadn't, he would still have known.

He nodded and wrung his little hands while he kept staring at the floor. Softly his mother swept his long bangs out of his face. His mother always seemed to be the only person who did not mind that he wanted his hair long, but it was Bill's commentary which she did mind. Gently she turned his face to hers and forced him like this to look at her. He looked tired but it was no surprise after Desmond had cried the entire night and after this loud fight with Bill the prior evening. »But honey where are Bill and your brothers on the drawing?«

Connor bit his bottom lip and the young woman finally noticed the stares of the other parents, so she simply grabbed her son's little well-used backpack off the ground, a hand me down from Ezio and Altaїr, Connor's two older brothers. Connor did not mind that he had to wear the clothing of his older brothers and his brothers tried to treat their things with care. They had not enough money to buy new clothes all the time. Mostly it was Altaїr who had the privilege to get new clothes for he was the oldest and he was growing so fast now, but even those weren't really new for they got them from thrift shops most of the time anyway. They too were just hand me downs. Hand me downs from strangers. 

»Come now honey, we talk on the way.« She smiled as she took the hand of the four-year-old boy in her own. 

They left the kindergarten hand in hand while the other children around them would sprint to jump into the freshly fallen snow, but Connor stayed at her side. It was cute but she was worrying because of his clinging and he knew this quite well. Connor was visiting the kindergarten only for a few months now and he was not yet used to dealing with other kids - that was another problem his teacher would nag his mother about - but Maud could not force the boy to open up either. She liked to say that _ he had his own speed _ .  

»Sooooo? What is it now with this picture you drew?« She smiled again as she stopped and pushed Connor's cap a little more down his head and little ears before they could walk again. 

»I hate Bill.« Connor mumbled to the snow, his small hand pressing in search of protection into his mother's. He knew that she did not like those words and Connor did not want to make her sad again. It was already enough that Altaїr and Ezio were fighting constantly with Bill and that they would yell at her to send him away. He did not want to see his mother so sad, he liked it more when she smiled and laughed because she cried often enough already.

Maud did not say a word to this, though. »And what about Altaїr and Ezio? Why aren't they in the drawing?«

»I don’t like them.« He grumbled. »Altaїr is always yelling at me and he is always in a bad mood and Ezio is the same. They just make trouble all the time! They alway break stuff and they never let me play with them when they are outside!« It was no secret that Connor felt like the third wheel because as long as he could remember those two had always been glued together. He did not hate his brothers, but Altaїr was terrifying to him when he would yell at him. Ezio and he were always playing outside or on the roof, but every time Connor would ask Altaїr if he was allowed to join, his oldest brother would send him away. Connor was not allowed to play in the woods on his own. He hated to be stuck inside all the time.

»And what about Desmond?«

Yes, Desmond was a thing now, wasn’t he? Connor had not been happy at all as his mother had announced her pregnancy nearly a year ago and his brothers had not been happy as well. Even his mother had not seemed to be too happy. Connor wasn’t dumb although he had not known then what all this would really mean, but today he knew very well, that one person more in the house would also mean there was a mouth more to feed. They did not have enough money already. But that wasn’t the reason why Desmond wasn’t on the drawing.

»He is always crying and screaming and he won’t let me sleep.« Besides, Maud would look after him all the time and would not have time for Connor anymore. Since the baby had arrived in the house everything was spinning around it and Connor wasn’t  as interesting as before anymore. First, he had been the third wheel, but he had his mother, now he was practically invisible. No one would notice if he wouldn't be there.

Maybe it would be better, if he would not be there anymore for real or if he would simply go and live in the woods just like  _ Mowgli  _ in  _ The Jungle Book _ . He wasn’t afraid of the forest like the other kids because in the forest it was always silent and peaceful and there was no one yelling at him and no one who would call him names all the time. »This will pass, Connor.« His mother smiled. »I think it's a pity that your brothers aren't on that drawing. You know Connor, your brothers might be a little mean to you sometimes, but they love you very much. You will know someday. And I think Desmond also loves you. You are his big brother, after all, and he will always look up to you.«

Somehow Connor felt like he was the one who got scolded again. And yet he nodded and pressed himself tighter against his mother as their house appeared in the distance. He could see Bill's truck in the driveway and every fiber in his little body resisted to set foot in the house.

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»Connor you idiot! What have you done?« Altaїr was spitting with rage after he apparently had found his treasured favorite toy, the model of an eagle, broken into two pieces on the nursery's floor and was now probably in search for the culprit.

Connor was hiding in the closet again, as he always did when his brothers were searching for him in anger. He had not meant to break Altaїr's toy, but it had looked so beautiful standing on this cabinet in their room, watching over them. He had just wanted to have a good look at it! So Connor had grabbed a chair, pulled it to the cabinet, climbed on top of the chair and had tried to reach the eagle, but this stupid thing had slid from his fingers and broke on the floor.

Altaїr loved this eagle.

Connor was not so much afraid of Altair's anger, but to have to look him in the eyes. They did not have many toys and Connor knew this. All they possessed they had to share so they really had not anything nice, but this eagle was the one thing that belonged only to Altaїr and not even Ezio would dare to touch it.

He felt terrible.

»Altaїr what is all this fuss about again?« His mother's voice sounded not far away from the closet and Connor held his breath while he was watching the scene unfolding through the small gaps in the closet's door. He could see the form of his brother, both half's of the eagle in his hands.

»Connor broke my eagle!« He immediately addressed his mother with fury in his eyes.

»Then we will repair it, Altaїr. There is no need to yell like this. Just think what would have happened if Bill was already home!«

»But Mum-«

»No, Altaїr. Go to your room  _ now _ !« Altaїr did as he was told but not without stomping loudly up the stairs and slamming his door shut. It did not take long for the door of the closet to silently being opened and for Connor to look into his mother's face. She looked tired and her face was red and swollen as if she had cried again. Probably she had. »Connor…«

This was enough to break all his dams and for Connor to have big hot tears rolling down his flushed cheeks before he could throw himself in his mother's arms. »I did not mean to break the eagle! It just fell and I tried to stick it back together, but it didn't work! I'm sorry mummy…«

Maud silently patted his black tuft softly while Connor was pressing himself against her chest and breathed in her scent. She smelled like daisies like she always did and the smell always managed to soothe him just enough. »It's alright, honey. Altaїr will calm down eventually and then you'll go to him and apologize. He will forgive you. Listen, he is just upset because his daddy gave him the eagle when he was very little.«

That wasn’t helping at all because for all Connor knew, Altaїr would cherish absolutely everything he had from his dad and he would be really sad if something went missing or broke. They did not have much time until the front door flung open and the sound of heavy work boots sounded in the house again as Bill Miles arrived back home.

»Oh, for god's sake Maud! What is it this time with your little princess? Has someone pulled your pigtails, Connie?«

Maud stood and Connor slid behind her automatically to hold on to her legs and carefully watched over to Bill, his face red from his tears. Boys did not cry, that Bill taught him every time.

»Bill just let it be. It's all settled already.«

Nothing was settled and now that Bill was home everything would just turn worse. Connor already knew what Altaїr would say later.  _ »If you wouldn’t have broken my toy and if you wouldn’t have cried like a baby because of it, Bill wouldn’t have been so angry and he wouldn’t have hurt Mommy again!« _

And that was exactly what happened. Bill's mood was already bad every day when he would come home from work and the sight of Connor did not make it better. As soon as Desmond began to cry because of the noise in the house, his mother sent him to his room but even from there he would be able to hear every word. He silently crept into his room but only to be confronted with Altaїr, sitting on the floor with red, wet cheeks, the broken toy in front of him like a piece of evidence in a court case. 

»Well done, Connor.«

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Connor's little feet sunk into the snow, while he slowly made his way through the woods. Wrapped in his worn out, light blue jacket - the same which had once been worn by Ezio and Altaїr before - his red cap on his head and his small hands covered in a bit too big gloves, his trusty backpack strapped to his back, he marched for hours now already. Or at least it felt this way. Since he was out here, the sun had sunk deeper and was now just a tiny pink blot somewhere above the tree line in the distance.

It was about time for him to find a place where he could build himself a little camp to rest as long as there was still light outside. Connor was still too young to join the boy scouts but this would not be necessary anyway, for Connor knew already everything he needed to know from television. So, he knew that it would be best to find a small cave to be sheltered from the snow out here. Maybe he would be able to make a little bonfire then too. This could not be too hard, could it?

Connor did not even think about the possibility to turn around and go back home and he would not even care to admit that he had already gotten lost out here in the dark and gloomy forest behind his home. It wasn’t like someone would notice that he was not at home anymore anyway, right? Altaїr would love to not have to share his bathtub with his little brother and to not have to share his bed with him either. Surely, Ezio would love to have his share of dinner. Bill would not mind having one kid less to feed too. And his mother? Well, she had Desmond and the baby took already enough of her attention away from her other kids. She would probably not even notice his absence.

Connor was tired and he was cold, but he would not turn around to try and find his way home too. He rather sat on a log and looked up to the sky. Again big flakes of snow silently fell from the heavens as if to mock him in his misery. Somewhere in the distance, he could hear the cry of a wolf.

»Well, look at this, what do we have here? What are you doing outside in a weather like this, kid?«

Connor had not even heard how the stranger had come near him. Maybe someone would say that he had not heard the stranger approach because he had been bawling his eyes out quite loudly, but, of course, Connor would deny any such accusations. Connor nearly fell from the log he sat on, startled by the sudden approach of the dark skinned man, as he now lowered his hands from his face and was able to see him. 

He was tall but he walked a little crooked. In Connor's eyes, it was hard to tell his age, but he was quite sure, that the man was at least hundred. Connor did not speak a word as the stranger tipped his black hat in a friendly gesture. A gray beard was sprouting out of his face around his mouth and along the sides of his jaw. His thick clothes and heavy boots looked as though they could withstand a snow storm if necessary.  Over his right shoulder, he was carrying a musket. The sight left Connor frozen in fear.

Obviously the stranger had noticed his fear for he then took his musket and laid it softly down in the snow where it sunk in a little and remained silent and harmless between them. The man tried again. »My name is Achilles and who are you?«

»I am not allowed to talk to strangers.« Connor clapped his hand on his mouth in surprise. He had just done what he should not do. Maybe it would really be for the better if he would never go home again. He would only make his mother sad with his behavior if he could not even stick to a simple rule like this. 

»Well, I think you just did, kid.« The man smiled. »And because you did you could tell me your name as well. At least then I would not need to think of one myself.«

He hesitated for a moment before he managed to stand up tall again. The man had a very friendly and reassuring streak around his dark eyes, but his mother had told him before that he should not trust strangers, no matter how friendly they looked. Then again he was now living the life of an outcast anyway, right? »Connor.« He said with a small voice. »But actually my name is now Ratohnhaké:ton, that's my Indian name.«

»Well, well an Indian name?« Achilles laughed a little and knelt down before him in the snow. After all, it was not very polite to talk down on somebody. »And why is it that you don’t want to be called Connor anymore?«

»Because I live outside now and I am going to join an Indian clan.«

»Ah, well that's a thing. Well, Ratohnhaké:ton, do you know what the name means?« Achilles’ eyes were warm and his smile genuine and friendly, but Connor kept his distance anyhow, before he shook his head silently.

»You see in the language of the Mohawk it would mean something like  _ life that is scratched _ . I don’t know if I would like that for myself.«

Maybe that wasn’t just so far from the truth, Connor thought at that moment. After all, he lived already such a life, did he not? But instead of telling Achilles about his thoughts, he just wrinkled his tiny nose and looked at him cheekily. »Are you Indian?«

Again Achilles laughed and shook his head. »No, dear. I'm just an old hunter, but I once had a friend who was a Mohawk, an agile and stubborn boy. You remind me a little of him. After all there are no clans anymore in this area. I'm sorry to disappoint you, young man. But how exactly did you plan to live out here anyway, Connor?« With a slight pout and a frown he noticed that Achilles used his birth name again and not the one Connor had chosen for himself. Adults. They never listened to kids like him. »I mean, how are you planning to find food at least? Do you know how to hunt? Surely, you will be hungry soon.«

Instead of answering right away Connor pulled his backpack from behind, opened it and hauled a pack of  _ Lucky Charms _ out of it leisurely. Ezio would kill him for stealing this. »There. I have something to eat, I am not  _ that  _ stupid!«

With one raised eyebrow the old man looked at the cornflakes, before Connor could stuff them back inside his backpack. »I see you are very well prepared. But you surely have a home, don’t you? Your mother will be sad if you won't come back surely. It will be dark soon and she will be terribly worried about you, Connor.«

»No she won't. She has Desmond now. I don’t wanna go home anymore, Altaїr just yells at me all the time and Ezio is mean to me too. The other day he licked my sandwich so I wouldn’t eat it anymore.«

»Oh I see. And who are Desmond, Altaїr and Ezio?«

»They are my brothers.« He growled. »It wouldn't interest them where I am, they would just be happy if I never come back home so they don’t have to share with me anymore.«

»That doesn't sound like they are nice brothers.«

»No they aren't! Altaїr and Ezio are glued together anyway and they don’t let me play with them because I am such a baby, they say. And then they always whisper behind my back or they play on the street or they make trouble so that mommy starts crying.«

»Well, maybe it would be better if you stayed out here and live your Indian-life, when you have such nasty brothers at home.«

»Right.«

»And I bet you will get hot cocoa out here at least as good as at home. And when your  _ Lucky Charms _ will be finished, you just catch yourself a rabbit.«

»Why would I want to catch a rabbit, Achilles?«

»Well, you have to eat, my boy.«

»But you can't eat rabbits! Rabbits are pets!«

»Oh no, no Connor, you're wrong. If you catch a rabbit and skin him you can easily cook him above a bonfire, you know. What do you think where the meat your mother cooks for you come from.«

Connor looked at him puzzled and did not even know what to say anymore. They rarely had meat at home but when they had Connor never thought about where it had come from. It simply was there. Were they eating rabbits at home? If so, he would never eat meat again.

»Now, listen Connor. I see that you are very well prepared and that you are man enough to make it out here in the wilderness, but maybe it would be better if I would bring you back home. Look, you are cold and the forest can be dangerous at night.«

»Dangerous?«

»Oh yes! Didn't you hear the wolf earlier? The wolves out here could easily mistake you for their bait and then they will attack you. Other than that there are bears as well in this forest. I don’t think you wanna risk it, do you?«

Just a little shook of his head was Connor's answer to that. Achilles stretched out his hand for Connor to take and the little boy was on the verge of taking the kind offer, as a loud voice suddenly ripped the silence of the forest to shreds. »Get your hands off my baby brother!«  _ Entry Altaїr _ . As fast as his legs could carry him, he sprinted towards them and pulled Connor roughly with one arm towards him. He appeared out of breath and the look he shot at Achilles would normally freeze everyone right at the spot. It was not the first time that Connor would see this look on his brother.

»I guess this is one of your infamous brothers, right?« Achilles smiled friendly and rose from the ground. His gaze rested for a short moment on Altaїr's red cheek which did not look like it was just red from the cold. By closer inspection one could see the imprinting of a delicate woman's hand.

»Who want to know that?« Altaїr shot at him angrily before he looked again at Connor. »What do you think you're doing outside here, Connor? You are such an idiot! Mum is worried sick because of you, so come on now! She doesn't want to start cooking until you are back home and Ezio is already raiding the cupboards in search of his cornflakes to eat!«

Achilles let the two brothers go, as soon as Altaїr pulled his little brother with him under a storm of curses and grumbling noises. Connor almost felt as if Altaїr would rip off his arm, but still Connor looked back at Achilles just for a second, while the hunter grabbed his musket from the ground to fling it back on his shoulder. He waved at Connor and Connor waved back.

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»Connor! For god's sake where are you?«

Altaїr's voice ripped through the forest while the boy was making his way through bushes and snow in search of his little brother. It sure wasn’t the first time and it sure wouldn’t be the last time either. Connor was running away constantly in the recent time and every time it was Altaїr's job to go and find him. It was clear as daylight where his mother's priorities lied, Altaїr thought bitterly.

»Connor, come on now! I am not mad at you, I promise!« He tried again, but there was no sign of life of his brother. Slowly it wasn’t just the cold which had him shivering. Altaїr really did not like the forest at all. It was frightening enough from his window and even worse when he had to wander through it because of his moody brother. Ezio had it good. Out here there were wild animals, bears and wolves which could easily devour him at once and it was so easy to lose orientation. Reluctantly he slithered down a small hill and then finally, after an eternity of just bushes, trees and endless slopes of snow he heard his brother’s voice.

»Altaїr!«

There he was, his stupid little brother. Altaїr found him a little down another slope and he did not waste any moment longer to slither it down as well and to approach Connor slowly. Connor was standing on a frozen pond, just with his socks on his small feet,  probably because he would slip more easily on them than on his shoes. Altaїr's heart was pounding loudly in his throat. He wasn’t dumb and he knew well how dangerous it was what Connor did. But Connor did not.

»W-What are you doing there buddy?« He asked slowly while he got closer, still avoiding the ice while trying to shorten the distance between them.

»I wanted to go ice skating, like the people on TV!«

Oh this damned thing! It wasn’t new that the TV would make Connor and Ezio - and sometimes even himself - do stupid things, but that really took the cake. »But Connor … you don’t even have skates.«

»I did not know that I need them.« How should he know? Connor hadn't had the chance to go ice-skating until now, this was a luxury they could not effort.

»Well, you know now. Look your socks are all wet already. Come now and be careful not to slip, alright?«

»But I don’t wanna go!«

»Connor, I promise that we will visit Boston soon and then we'll go ice-skating on the duck pond like you've saw on TV.«

»But we don’t have skates.«

»Well, we could lend them there.«

»Now you’re just making things up.«

»Connor would you  _ please _ come down from the ice, buddy?«

A frown and all Altaїr could do was to pray to all the gods he knew that Connor would do as he said. It took a moment, but finally his baby brother moved towards him. It was this very moment, in which the ice loudly cracked, that Altaїr's heart stood still for a second.

Connor stopped, fortunately. His expression went from sulking to panic. He might not know what ice-skates were and that he simply could not walk on a frozen pond, but he very well knew what lied beneath the ice. »Altaїr…« His voice was nothing more than a little quivering sob.

Altaїr did not even think as he jumped into motion and made his first step on the ice towards his brother. He was a little bit heavier than the four-year-old and the ice crunched immediately under his weight but he went further towards Connor nonetheless. There was nothing else he could do. As fast as he could without having the ice breaking under him he bridged the gap between him and his brother and fished after his little hand.

»I'm right here, don’t worry. I will take care of you, okay?« He promised silently, fearing that just the noise of his whisper could cause the ice to finally break. Connor nodded and, finally, Altaїr got a hold of his hand. He managed to drag him towards his body, then he built up momentum and threw his brother as far as he could towards the shore. He saw how Connor slithered over the ice and scrambled to the safety of the shore. But it was that moment in which the ice beneath him finally broke and dragged Altaїr down in the abyss of the pond.

There was nothing Connor could do other than to scream as he saw how his brother sunk into the freezing water, desperately paddling with his arms. All Connor could think of was that Altaїr could not swim. He never learned!

»Help!« Connor yelled as loud as he could and he heard his own voice echoing from the small slopes and trees of the forest around, but he did not think that someone would hear him while his big brother was drowning or freezing to death.

He did not have the slightest clue when he began to cry, but he knew he did and that it wouldn’t do anything to change Altaїr's already sealed fate if he cried. At one point Altaїr simply vanished and for Connor it felt as though hours had passed since then until he suddenly noticed the figure of a man, sprinting towards the pond and jumping right into the water, a rope wound around his waist.

Connor did not have the time nor the leisure to look for the spot the rope was strapped to because just a second later the old man emerged from the water again, Altaїr's lifeless body tightly pressed against his before he dragged himself with help of the rope out of the water.

Achilles came just at the right moment.

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Connor never felt worse in his entire life than on that afternoon in the forest on which his beloved big brother nearly drowned because of him. If it wasn’t for Achilles, the good soul of the forest, he surely would've died right then and there. After this incident, Altaїr had refused to take his bath for a whole month and even in the following years, he had avoided water as good as he possibly could. There had even been a time when he had refused to use the bathroom and would rather go into the bushes outside the house, but Connor knew that this wasn’t because of his fear of water but for the death of their mother soon after.

Well, the truth was that he had never felt worse than on the evening when he had heard Altaїr screaming from the kitchen of the house. The memory of Altaїr hanging lifeless in the arms of another person had never been as vivid as on this evening. And the fear to have lost his brother had never been so painful. After all, his brothers were all he had left. And Connor sure felt like crap now, as he stood in the hallway of the small house and listened with his back pressed against the wall next to the bedroom door. 

»Would you calm down already, Altaїr?« The deep voice of a man, of Malik, sighed. He sounded exhausted.

»I won't calm down!  _ YOU _ should be more upset!«

»You are making a mountain out of a molehill!«

»Are you fucking kidding me, Malik? Didn't you hear what I just said?«

»Oh my god … Then he hit someone, so what?«

»So what? If he now starts like Ezio I'll go crazy! Damn it we are so close now! He can't hit the same notch, not after all we've gone through!«

»It isn't helping when you are going all crazy about this. He already apologized, even to this girl he hit. What was her name again? Aveline? Besides, you don’t really think he mutates to some bully now, do you? Lastly, it was Connor who took most of the beating today and not that girl.«

»That’s not the fucking point, Malik!«

»And what is?«

»The point is that everything I do isn't right! I do everything I can for them to have a good life, a warm home and regardless of all my efforts it simply won't work! Suddenly it isn't Bill anymore who is yelling, but me because Ezio did something stupid or Desmond is nagging me or because Connor thinks he suddenly can turn gangster! Whatever I do, everything is wrong! We scream in each other's faces and rip each other apart like a pack of wolves! And I bet  _ you _ imagined this whole situation also a little bit different.«

Connor turned away before he could hear Malik's answer and crept back to his room. The truth was, he was afraid of hearing Malik's answer. Once again he felt like crap. Here he stood in his room - in his  _ own _ room - and had managed to hurt his brother and made him sad again, although he would love to see him smile or hear him laugh instead. Standing in his own little room, he suddenly missed the presence of his brothers greatly. The evenings they would spent together on the couch in the living room had already decreased just like the lazy mornings in Altaїr and Malik's bed. Altaїr was right, they behaved like a pack of wolves getting on each other's throats and they kicked their brother and they caused him to cry silently somewhere when he thought no one would see, just like their mother did.

But that wasn’t because they did not love Altaїr.

Connor did not know what drove him as he sat down at his desk this evening, grabbed his papers and his crayons and began to draw.

Connor was the last one that remained in the classroom the next afternoon. He was terribly nervous. He visited this school just for a short time now and he hadn't found any friends yet. But there was this beautiful girl, Aveline de Grandpré, who had beaten him up the prior day and today had flashed him her brightest smile through the classroom. His hands were trembling a little and his expression was torn somewhere between uncertainty and hesitation although he was alone while he approached the big bulletin board of the class to pin his contribution to the class' art project to it.

»There you are! I was worried because you didn't come outside.« Malik's voice sounded from the door while he came into the classroom in search of the thirteen-year-old boy.

With flushed cheeks, Connor hurried to grab his belongings from his desk so that Malik hadn't time to look at the bulletin board but it was already too late. »Did you draw that?« Like always his voice was soft and warm and reminded Connor just a little of his mother. He just nodded silently as he looked at the board just to see how Malik took the picture down.

»What are you doing?« He yelped.

»I think you have to draw a new one because this will be pinned at the fridge at home.«

And there it hung just a second after they arrived at home. Malik ignored all his protests as he pinned the drawing with a small magnet to the door of the fridge. »Yes, I think that will make him happy.« The tall man murmured, pleased with his work before he pulled Connor into a brief hug and spared another glance at the picture.

In the top left corner of the drawing big blue messy letters shouted the name  _ Connor _ at the observer and below it was the drawing of a bunch of people. There was a tall guy with black hair and a black goatee with a dark frown on his face, next to him stood another man, with brown hair and a scar on his lips and then there were another three boys. The first was wearing a brown ponytail and was grinning stupidly all over his face, the next had a black Mohawk and was a bit smaller than the grinning one, and the last one was really tiny and held a messily drawn owl in his arms. Above them, all the word  _ Family  _ had been scribbled onto the paper.

Maybe they had not had a mother anymore because Maud Miles simply had not been prepared for this life and not strong enough to fight against all her grief or for her sons, maybe they had not had a father and they had been beaten and humiliated, had been starving and freezing their whole life and maybe they had not had someone besides themselves, but they  _ had  _ themselves and they were a strong pack of wolves.

And the most important thing was that they weren't alone anymore for they had won a new family member and it seemed that things were finally looking good them.

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As Altaїr came home this evening and found the drawing pinned to the fridge, he smiled and from the door, hiding behind the doorframe, Connor saw how his big brother wiped away a little tear from his cheek.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work was inspired by this lovely drawing http://nishi-ki.deviantart.com/art/Family-drawing-342395464  
> I decided right from the start that every one of them should get his own chapter at some Point, so why not starting with Little Connor?


	6. the "ball-pit-incident"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did some one say ballpit? Inspired by http://mrasayf.tumblr.com/post/98658953123/the-ball-pit-post

»Malik, I might or might not have lost Desmond.«

There was a long moment of silence on the other end of the line, just long enough for Altaїr to prepare himself for what was coming next.

»What? Where? Are you serious right now?«

The day had not started well if Altaїr would be perfectly honest. It was not long since he and Malik had decided that they all should live under the same roof, but after the  _ incident  _ \- which had caused Altaїr to awake on his eighteenth birthday unintended in his boyfriend’s bed – Malik had wanted to hear nothing about his young lover living alone with his siblings in a little house on the outskirts of Dorchester.

Since then there was only utter chaos in their life. Altaїr had never expected it to be that straining to take care of his brothers like he always had. After all, how different could it really be? He had thought it to be much easier when they would not have to live in fear of Bill anymore. And he had thought it to be much easier when he would not have to climb out his window to abscond to his boyfriend’s in the middle of the night like a thief any longer. Well, it seemed he had been wrong. Oh, so very wrong. And now he stood here in the freakin’ middle of some fucking indoor playground for children and was not able to find his youngest brother anymore.

His inner child was already a little bit envious of Desmond, for he as an adult could not simply jump into the ball pit or climb on the jungle gym. It was Malik who had insisted on him visiting this place with Desmond after the little one had begged and pleaded for days.

»I just turned my back to him for a second as he jumped into the ball pool!« Altaїr was desperate to explain the situation without sounding all too distraught at the same time. 

»And how exactly did you manage to lose a nine-year-old kid in a stupid ball pool?«

»Well, just like that! Christ, you are really not helping!« 

»Don’t panic, just look around!«

»I don’t panic,  _ you are panicking _ ! And stop yelling at me!« Trying to keep up his facade never really worked at Malik anyway, so, Altaїr guessed, he might as well go all the way out. 

Of course, he panicked. He was very much panicking! His little brother was missing after all! Altaїr had experienced this so many times already in his life when one of the boys had gone lost and he had not been able to find them right away. He very well knew himself, that his panic was irrational and that his behavior was absurd. It was already enough for him to get him to panic if Desmond or Connor - or even sixteen-year-old Ezio - would get lost in the stupid supermarket. He would break out in cold sweat immediately and his heart would be racing as if he was running a marathon in his chest although they would be just in another aisle and he had not noticed them leaving his side to venture on their own. This stupid fear of his had only gotten worse since they were away from home. Ever since then, they were living in something like a legal limbo and Bill was still on the loose.

What if he had stalked them and had taken Desmond while Altaїr had not paid attention? By now he was holding so tightly onto the edge of the stupid ball pool, that the knuckles on his four-fingered hand turned white.

»I’m not yelling at you, Altaїr. I just wanna say-«

»That wouldn’t have happened if you had joined us or if Connor would be here!«

It was much easier to pass the guilt onto Malik as to confront his fears instead. Desmond was not as naive as Connor. He would not simply wander off with some stranger because they would bribe him with candy. He was clever enough to know when someone way lying to him, so the old  _ I’m your brother's friend _ trick would not work on him and he would not believe some stranger if they would tell him that there had been an accident with his brother. No, Desmond was taught to scream as loud as he could if someone he wouldn't know would approach him.  _ Stranger-Danger _ had been high on his list after all that had happened already.

»And now you are just unfair.« Malik sighed heavily on the other end. Altaїr could almost imagine how his boyfriend was ruffling through his thick black hair. »You know I need to work and it would’ve been just unfair if you would’ve excluded Connor from this boy scouts trip just because you suddenly decided that you can’t handle things on your own. Just don’t worry, he surely is somewhere near laughing his little ass off because of your worrying.«

»That’s not funny, Malik! What if someone has kidnapped him? I taught him to scream if something should happen, but what if he couldn’t scream? I just turned my back for only a second, I swear to god! What if Bill was here and caught him? What if he is already miles away with Des?«

It was the first time in forever that Altaїr was ready to cry like a little baby and he felt utterly pathetic because of it. His voice was already cracking with every word and his throat felt hoarse as his eyes fell down on his left hand and the gap between his fingers.

He was not the victim type.

Bad things had happened to him and he would live with that. He would live with every little scar left on his battered and bruised and broken body. He would not hide like a small child to cry. He stood tall. He would make his back straight and would stride ahead, if not for anything else than to be an example to his brothers. But whenever this violent panic would hit him like a wave or like he had been doused with ice water he was not even able to breathe anymore. He feared to suffocate.

Often it was the sight of his left hand, which caused this or the absence of his brothers or some stupid night terror that was shaking him awake.

He did not know much about the things that had happened that particular night. He only could remember bits and pieces of the fight with Bill but his mind went blank after Bill had cut off his finger. Malik had told him all that he knew from Ezio’s description after his younger brother had not dared to go near Altaїr for days. Even now, after nearly three months had passed, Ezio was still sulking in his grief and remorse. It did not matter what Altaїr would say to make him feel better, to comfort him and tell him that it was alright. He would feel the same way if their places were swapped.

And now, after Altaїr knew what this piece of shit was capable of, it made his stomach turn if he thought about the possibility that he could grab Desmond and be gone. Altaїr did not have any rights to his brother, after all, Bill Miles was his biological father. It was something different with the other two boys. By now, Altaїr would think back, shaken to the core with horror, to all the nights he had left his brothers alone – next door to a monster.

Malik would always say that it was not worth anything to think about this. He would break himself with that kind of thoughts, but Altaїr guessed this was part of the human nature. 

On the other end of the line, there was thick and heavy silence again. It took much too long for Altaїr's liking because panic and horror were gripping at his mind with all their might. Then, however, there was a defeated sigh and Malik talked again. »Alright, stay right where you are, okay? I’m right on my way to help you search for him. Don’t worry-«

»Alty?«

The small voice of his brother interrupted his phone call with Malik abruptly. Altaїr had not even bothered himself with the thought how impolite it was as he ended the call by the sight of his baby brother as he whirled around. There he was. Desmond was standing only a few feet away in his new gray hoodie, his new bright blue jeans, and his new little sneakers and looked like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. His cheeks were flushed red after he had been running around engulfed in some game the whole time and his big brown eyes were glimmering with joy like little bugs. He ignored the short blond boy who was standing next to Desmond for now.

Altaїr nearly dropped his phone into the ball pool, but then he shoved it with trembling hands back into the right front pocket of his jeans. He did not waste any second before he sprinted towards his younger brother to pull him into a tight hug.

»You’re crushing me!« Desmond yelped and tried for a short moment to escape his brother. Altaїr thought that this was mostly because he was embarrassed to get tackled by his older brother like this in front of his seemingly new friend. Altaїr did not care at all. A part of him would have loved to slap his brother, but instead, he grabbed him tighter and wound his nine fingers in his hoodie. As soon as Desmond noticed just  _ how _ tight Altaїr was holding him, he stopped his little fight. The youngest might not always know what was happening around him since they had fled from home, but children had their own special instincts.

»Don’t do this ever again, you hear me?« Altaїr asked with his voice still hoarse. »I was worried sick. You can’t do this to me now that I’m an old man. I will get gray hair if you scare me like this, Des.«

Desmond was giving his best as he stretched to reach his brother’s back with his short arms just to pat him lightly as altaїr would usually do to soothe him »I’m sorry Alty.« The nine-year-old murmured full of remorse before Altaїr finally let him go. Exploratively, he looked at the small face in front of him before he fully released his grip of the boy. Just then he managed to look at the other boy again and to his mother who was waiting nearby and gave him a puzzled look at his behavior. They were both ridiculously blonde and they both wore glasses. His mother sure was a pretty lady but she looked rather overdressed in her little business outfit, with the tight skirt, her high heels and her matching blazer and blouse. All of this would make it almost impossible to run after a young kid.

She really looked irritated because of his protective behavior towards Desmond.  _ Well, let her think what she wants, that stupid- _

»Who is your friend, Des?« Altaїr gently smiled just to distract himself. The other boy was a little bit shorter than Desmond, but Altaїr knew very well, that this could change quickly at that age. It was not just his mother who looked overdressed at this place. The boy had been forced to wear neat beige trousers, a checkered shirt and a dark blue cardigan on top. 

»Oh, that’s Shaun! He pushed me down the jungle gym.« That was typical for Desmond. Push this boy down a jungle gym and you’ve gotten yourself a new best friend. That was the same Desmond who always would cry about small things and would search for Altaїr to help with his little catastrophes. The little one sure was getting more and more independent by the day. Altaїr did not know by now if he liked that. After all, Desmond was his baby.

»Oh.« He made and looked more closely at the boy and checked his head immediately for wounds. »Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?«

Desmond was glowing in embarrassment. He managed quickly to escape his brother’s claws, though with a frustrated grunt. »I’m alright. I’m not made of glass, you know?« 

»By the way, Shaun feels sorry, Mr.…?« The woman finally spoke up after she had watched the unfolding drama for a while. She had a really thick British accent so it would not even be necessary for Altaїr to question her origins.

»Ibn-La’Ahad.« He replied swiftly and just to be polite. He still had to get used to using his father’s name again. The first thing he had done after he had been well enough to do so, was changing back his last name from Miles to Ibn-La’Ahad. He did feel a little sorry for Ezio and Connor because they were not yet able to follow his example so easily. Their fathers weren’t even registered. His mother had never been good when it came to fighting for her or her children's rights.

»Well, I don’t even try to pronounce this name right to not offend you.«

Altaїr couldn’t drop the feeling that he already should be offended. Shaun’s mother pushed her son softly towards Altaїr and Desmond. The boy shot her his most venomous look, but after she replied it with the same venom he gave up. Instead, he stared down at his feet and mumbled: »Yes … I am really sorry, Sir. I didn’t want to hurt him.«

There was his inner child again which yearned for vengeance for his little brother. Desmond could’ve broken his neck for all he knew! He could be dead right now or forever bound to a wheelchair! He could’ve cracked his head or get a concussion! And he – Altaїr was behaving like an overly worried mother again who would love to put her little boy into a hermetical sealed plastic ball so nothing bad could happen to him.  _ For god’s sake… _

»If you really are sorry and if Desmond forgives you, it’s already forgotten, Shaun.« Shaun was really lucky that, after all, Altaїr's brain was still in adult mode.

Desmond only nodded. He saw that the culprit’s mother opened her mouth to say something, but in that moment his phone went off and this time very demanding. To hell with politeness! Something could’ve happened to the other guys, so he fished his phone out of his jeans, looked at the display to see who was calling him now and made a grimace.

»You look like you have bitten into an onion.« Shaun commented dryly and very helpful indeed. That god damned big-mouthed brat.

»What’s wrong, Altaїr?« Desmond tried, but Altaїr just pulled down Desmond’s hood over his eyes.

»I will be in big trouble when we get home, that’s wrong. Come on now buddy. There is a scolding waiting for us. It was really nice to meet you, Mrs….?«

_ »Miss  _ Hastings. Jessica Hastings, I’m  _ luckily divorced _ . I would be glad if-»

But Altaїr already held his phone to his ear and dragged his brother towards the exit.

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The scolding, which had been waiting for Desmond and Altaїr at home later that same day, had actually been a little worse than Altaїr would have anticipated. Of course, Altaїr had gotten most of it because, after all, it was him who had called Malik in his panic just because his brother had escaped his eagle eyes just for a moment. Now, as he was sitting fully dressed on his bed, he was somewhat ashamed of himself. It seemed that more and more with each passing day that they were on their own he became a hysterical drama queen. 

As he shortly glanced at Malik’s empty half of their large bed, he thought that Malik sure did not like this recent change in his behavior. Malik was a grown man, an adult and he most certainly had not fallen in love with some overly dramatic kid. Sometimes, he did not even quite know what it was about him that Malik liked. Altaїr himself would be able to write entire books about the things he loved about Malik, though. 

Since they had moved into this house, however, their relationship had changed. He felt more as though they were the parents of his little brothers. Malik always said that he would not mind taking care of the kids like a big brother. He did not mind soothing Connor, he did not mind teaching Desmond, and he did not mind scolding Ezio. Truly, Altaїr had never met someone in his life who was able to juggle as many tasks as Malik and he would find himself entranced and fascinated just watching his boyfriend, as Malik would cook dinner, help Desmond with his homework and repair a broken toy all at once. 

Surely, Malik was hiding another set of arms somewhere underneath his clothes. And above all that, Malik Al-Sayf, by some miracle, always managed to keep his cool. Even when Malik would listen to Altaїr and Ezio arguing, which happened quite a lot lately, he would not lose his calm. 

The man was a saint.

Altaїr had retired to bed already and a little earlier than usually after the day's events. But instead of going right to sleep, he sat there with one of Connor's book about natural science in his lap. At home, he never had the time to read something like that - or read at all for that matter. Suddenly it felt like all of these horrible things had happened decades ago already. To Altaїr it sometimes was unbelievable, how much had happened within the last three months. Of course, Malik had added a lot to those things. In fact, Altaїr did not know where he would be now without him. 

They would probably sit in some broken down house without money for something to eat, freezing, without water or electricity. And although his view on the world was still quite pessimistic, Altaїr knew that it was true nonetheless. If it had not been for Malik insisting that they should move in together into this house, he would not sit here now in this big comfortable bed and that his brothers would not be able to retreat to their own bedrooms. 

Yes, maybe their relationships had skipped a few staged since it's beginning. Other couples would spend the first three months to get to know each other, before much later moving in together. They, on the other hand, had started their relationship bellowing at each other above the counter in some coffee shop like two tomcats protecting their district and gone right from 0 to 100 from this. But even though all of this had happened so quickly, he did not regret that. Surely, he would not have minded a few dates in a restaurant or cinema instead of jumping right into bed with Malik. Malik had accidentally adopted a whole family within just a month of them knowing each other. Perhaps only a wedding was missing now, but if Malik would dare to throw a ring in his face next time he came around some corner, Altaїr would probably jump screaming out of the window.

Life sometimes was like in those silly romcoms for desperate women and naive girls. Sometimes life just happened and decided that,  _ boom _ , Mr. Right would visit a coffee shop he had never set foot into before. Sometimes it just took this one detour from the daily routine to meet the one person one would spend the rest of their life with - in fast forward, if necessary. And suddenly it was April, spring was right about to start and the court hearing was not far away.

The thought alone managed to turn his stomach.

Altaїr couldn’t take any second longer in this bed all alone. He rather would have a look at what was happening in the house. Desmond surely was already asleep after this exciting day. He barely had been able to keep his eyes open during dinner. It was likely that Malik was arguing with Ezio again about some random thing as they always did. Malik and Ezio still very much denied it, but Altaїr was sure that they liked each others company. So he silently crept out of the bedroom onto the hallway of the upper floor. He couldn’t help but throw a look into Desmond's room. The door was ajar and just as expected the little one was already sound asleep deeply buried underneath his  _ Star Wars _ bedding with  _ Owlik _ in his arms. Altaїr paused for a moment because of the sight unfolding. As manly as he liked to behave when he was  _ arguing  _ with Malik: Yes, Desmond was his baby. No wonder that Altaїr felt like a mother! After all, it was he who had changed Desmond’s diapers, he who had fed him, who had gone through sleepless nights because of him after the early dead of their mother. Desmond had not even been a year old as she had died and Altaїr had found himself frozen in horror every day by the mere thought that Bill could maybe shake Desmond to death in anger. He had not dared to leave Desmond out of sight even for a second.

Now, as he was standing right there and looked at the sleeping child, there already was this very fear again, that the judge might destroy all of this again. It was the first time in Desmond's life that he had his own bed, just like Connor. They even managed to find a payable house in which they could all have their own rooms.

_ »But this isn’t fair! Only Altaїr has to share with Malik!« _ Desmond had exclaimed as they had first moved in until Altaїr had assured him that he would not mind sharing a room with Malik as long as he would not snore too loudly, whereupon Malik had protested to share a room with Altaїr instead.

Now, after the longest time, his brothers could have the lives they deserved and Malik would spoil them rotten against every protest coming out of Altaїr's mouth.  _ »It's my money and if I decide to spoil them like shitty brats, it's none of your business.« _ Maybe his brothers deserved to be spoiled a little. But especially Connor had a hard time accepting Malik's kindness and gifts. They all had. Altaїr had never liked the thought to being depended on somebody. He had never wanted help from anybody, determined to make it on his own. However, Bill had made it perfectly clear, that he would not be able to make it entirely on his own. Still, he had a hard time accepting it.

»What is this all about, Connor?« A deep voice sounded from the other end of the hallway by the stairs. Altaїr had not heard how Malik had come up the stairs, but now Malik was standing at the open bathroom door, his brows raised so high that they nearly disappeared and his arms tightly crossed before his wide chest. This man was born to be a dad. 

The show in the bathroom managed to attract Altair's curiosity too, so Altaїr did not waste any second to creep towards them after he had closed Desmond’s bedroom door silently not to wake him. He tried to be as inconspicuous as possible while he tried to get a look at what was happening. Ezio was sitting on the edge of the bathtub while Connor was standing in front of the large mirror desperately trying to get look on his face from all the different angles. Already Ezio was stifling a laugh. In fact, he seemed ready to push his whole fist into his mouth to remain silent.

»As I looked last time your face was still intact.« Altaїr chimed in from the door without so much as glancing at Malik who still seemed angry. Connor only turned with a red face where he stood, a mix of anger, defiance, and embarrassment on his face. Too many emotions for the little head to comprehend, apparently. By now Ezio could not hold back a squeal as he desperately suppressed a small chuckle.

»Connor« Malik said in this very tone only a parent was able to. It worked.

»Aveline said my freckles look stupid!« Connor snapped angrily. That was the same boy who once had wanted to live in the forest like an Indian. Maybe it was this very thought which caused Ezio to lose it as he burst out into laughter. 

»He tried to find a way to push them back!« Ezio exclaimed between his laughter, his face red already as the thought seemed to amuse him oh so very much. To Altaїr, however, the question remained as of  _ why  _ Connor had thought that he could get rid of his freckles this way. He was sure that, if he would find the answer to that, he would understand why Ezio had such a  fun time now. However, he did not even get to ask.

»But you said it would work, Ezio!« Connor lamented. Of course, Ezio would tell him something like that. Connor was still in this lovely age where he would simply believe whatever his big brothers would tell him. If not they, then who should know the answers to his questions? 

»Oh, this Aveline girl again!« Altaїr grumbled. It seemed that this girl always was involved when Connor decided to do something stupid, as, for example, jumping off the roof of the janitor’s shed to land in a pile of leaves, which had caused his little brother do twist his left wrist. »I think I really need to go and talk with her parents. Don’t let her talk down on you like that Connor! Your freckles aren’t stupid! Aren't you going to say something about this?« He suddenly shot at Malik, who was leaning in the doorframe obviously not willing to help Altaїr or to say something in this matter.

»Oh, brother dearest« Ezio began while still trying to fight another fit of giggles. »So ignorant when it comes to the nature of a woman's heart.«

»What is that supposed to mean?« Connor groaned and folded his arms in front of his chest just like Malik as he shot his most darkest glare at Ezio, probably secretly hoping to kill him like this. Of course, the last thing Connor would want was that Altaїr would talk to Aveline’s parents. 

Majestically – one would say theatrically – Ezio stood and laid one of his ridiculously long arms around his little brother's shoulders. Now that they were standing so close together, it seemed Connor had grown again. Ezio should be watching his back because the little one seemed to slowly catch up with him. »Well, you see, Connor dear, you are really lucky to have an expert like me on your side when it comes to matters with the opposite sex. You know, women, especially those who just started to blossom, tend to show their appreciation of our sorry existence as men in their own special ways. Your Aveline seemed to have chosen to torture you to the blood.«

They should have taken a photo of Connor's very irritated face just this instant. His expression was somewhere torn between joy and disgust. »What do you mean  _ my _ Aveline?« Connor muffled finally after managing to get away from Ezio's firm grip and stomped towards Malik and Altaїr to escape the bathroom and his own disgrace.

»You shouldn’t pick on him like that, Ezio.« Malik sighed with a small and crooked grin. »He will be so irritated by your words that he will never dare to talk to this girl again.« That was certainly something Altaїr would not mind.

»Oh, you shouldn’t underestimate the guy! He will get through this, you'll see. I only gave him something to think about and now it is on him what he is going to do with this.« The sixteen-year-old boy laughed innocently before he nonchalantly closed the door right in front of Altaїr and Malik's noses as if they were not even there. Sometimes Altaїr really missed the evenings when they had gathered up in the bathroom like a horde of sheep. Well, at least Desmond still enjoyed bathing with Altaїr. That was at least a little something Altaїr had left, no matter how much he hated water.

However, the candidate with whom he would much rather share the bathtub, suddenly reminded Altaїr of his presence, as he almost violently grabbed him by the left ear and pulled on his earlobe. »Ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch! You're ripping my ear off!«

»I thought you would deserve something like this after all the stress you let me go through today. You should have seen the look on my co-workers' faces as I told them I had an emergency in the family!« Malik frowned, but still refused to let go of his poor ear all the same. 

»Ou la la! You really said  _ family _ ? Well, I think you should make me an honest man then!« Provoking a man who held the power of ripping off his ear, was not the best idea. 

»I'm afraid that is a lost cause.« Malik grinned and looked like a wolf preying on its bait for the briefest moment. Oh yes, Altaїr liked this look very much. So he would not dare to hinder Malik, as he let got off his ear and pushed his big hand in Altaїr's neck just to steal a kiss from his waiting lips. The kiss did not last long and was over way too quickly for Altair's liking, but it was impressive nonetheless and left him yearning for more as it always did.

However, Malik still did not seem to have the intention to give Altaїr his reward, as Altaїr pulled Malik closer and tried to draw him into another kiss because instead of giving in, Malik shot up his left hand to Altair's face and pinched Altair's nose. »No step further, novice.« He boomed. »As long as I did not get a decent apology from you, that's as far as you'll get.« Oh, the devil was grinning again, his eyes dark and intrusive. Altaїr was painfully aware that he could as well camp outside when he would dare to disobey the man at this point.

»If I recall it right, I already apologized for the incident and so did Desmond.« He pouted nasally because Malik still would not let go of his nose.

»That's not what I meant, Altaїr. Also, it was not Desmond's fault that you called me while at work and made me crazy with worry.« Yes, Altaїr already had figured as much. Desmond had been extremely remorseful after they had come home from their adventure. 

»What do you mean then?« Oh, he knew very well what Malik meant. But sometimes it really was best to play all innocent. But before Altaїr could speak up again, Malik ruffled his hair with a sigh and let go of his nose finally. 

»You know I am tired of your secretiveness, Altaїr.« His voice was sharper than any knife they possessed. For the second time on this day, Altaїr broke into cold sweat. Instead of giving in, however, he attacked.

»Look who's talking.« He grumbled. »You are no better than me with all your prevarications when I'm asking about  _ your  _ family.«

Even though they only were together for a few months now, the question about Malik's family was still a big one. All Altaїr knew was that Malik's parents had been killed in a car accident and that he had a little brother himself. No matter how much Altaїr would dig and nag, however, Malik would not talk about these things. Even now he was pressing his lips into a thin, angry line.

»You know what, Altaїr?« He already prepared himself for the worst: another scolding or something that could easily explode into a big fight between them. »You are right.«

» _ What _ ?«

»I said that you are right. You should really clean your ears, novice.« Malik grumbled before he suddenly hammered with his fist against the bathroom door. Altaїr had nearly forgotten that they were still standing here and that Ezio had probably heard everything until now. Maybe Malik wanted to shoo Ezio out of the bathroom so he could hide there himself? Or maybe he wanted to drown Altaїr at last.

»Ezio! When you're finished shaving your legs look after your brothers! Altaїr and I need to do something!« He yelled through the still tightly closed door. Altaїr could hear something clatter. It was probably better not to ask, after knowing his little brother.

»We do?« He instead asked Malik a little confused before Malik could grab his wrist and drag him along without an explanation.

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Altaїr had never liked this particular smell of hospitals. It reminded him of all the occasions when he had to be here because Bill had crossed some line in his anger. Sometimes he had sat on the uncomfortable plastic chairs of the waiting area because Ezio had to be stitched after some stupid fight in school, sometimes he had been the one in need of stitching.

He knew this hospital all too well. Sometimes he thought he knew the building's layout by heart after he had so often killed time staring at the map that hung in the waiting area as a child and bit his lip in worry. He had had more than enough things to worry about even as a child. He had worried about his brothers, or about his mother after she had again fallen down the stairs. He had worried about what would await him when he would go home. Bill had been the monster that had been lurking under his bed. He still was, even as Altaїr was now striding through the seemingly endless hallways so many years later again. 

At least he was not alone this time. Even though Malik had let go of his wrist at some point, as soon as they had stepped through the automatic doors, he had grabbed Altair's right hand as if he was actively trying to shield himself against something. Altaїr did not mind – quite the contrary.

As the nurse at the reception desk had welcomed Malik by name, he had been surprised, to say the least. Then again, it hardly was a surprise. Even though Malik refused to talk about it, Altaїr only needed to look at him now to know that he came here regularly. 

Malik kept his silence the entire way and even now he did not seem ready to give Altaїr any kind of explanation for his actions. He just walked towards the children's ward quietly. Slowly but surely Altaїr felt a lump growing in his throat and this feeling only got worse with every step and every inhale of the germicide stench in the air. He couldn’t stand the bright neon light above their heads which made Malik so ghostly pale and banished all the color from his sun-kissed skin.

Finally, Malik stopped in front of one of the unimpressive doors. Out of the corner of his eye, Altaїr had seen that Malik had stared straight ahead the whole time. He had not needed to look at the signs on the doors. Malik wasted no time with knocking before he pushed down the door handle. He was met with no resistance.

The room was dark, except for the little bit of light shining from the street lights through the curtains from outside. It was just bright enough to chisel out the form of a sleeping boy lying on the only bed in the room. At first glance it was impossible to really tell how old this kid might be, but Altaїr instinctively guessed that he could be around Connor's age. Maybe just a little younger. His messy black hair was longer than Malik's and curled at the ends and his skin looked horribly pale in this shallow light. Some machine was tediously beeping next to the bed, silently but rhythmically. Altaїr had seen those in his life, but never bothered to ask what they did.

»That's Kadar.« Malik began quietly as he let go of Altaїr's hand and closed the door behind them. Then he slowly closed the distance between bed and door. Altaїr just watched him closely as Malik stroked the messy hair out of his brother's small face and let his hand rest for a brief moment on the crown of his head. Altaїr did not dare to take a step towards them. He wanted Malik to have a moment with the boy in solitude before he would interrupt yet again. But beside that, he felt a silent stab of guilt again in his chest. He even found himself wondering whether Malik had enough time to come here as often as he used to because of Altaїr and his newfound burden. They, Altaїr and his brothers, were demanding a lot of Malik and only now he started to fully realize this. 

»What« He cleared his throat. »What is with him?« He asked carefully before he stepped closer after Malik gestured for him to do so. Malik sat with a heavy sigh on the edge of Kadar's bed and ruffled his hair again.

»He is comatose. For nearly two years now, to be correct.« He began finally. »He was with our parents when the accident happened.«

»You never told me about it.« And how should he have told him? Malik had been so engulfed in the dramas Altaїr and his infamous brothers had made until now, that he had never had time to speak his own heart. Altaїr felt like the most selfish brat. They had never made room to talk about Malik's worries and problems for a change. And he, being the selfish idiot that he was, had never bothered to think about the things that Malik might have on his mind. 

»They had been on their way home as it happened. The three of them had visited me for my birthday. They had been living out of town, but I got this job just after finishing college so I stayed here and moved to Dorchester. Some witness has told the police that my father seemingly tried to avoid a collision with something, but it had already been so dark and rainy that they haven't been able to tell what it was. Maybe my father has tried to avoid some animal. Anyway, the car overturned a few times on the slippery street and my parents were dead immediately. Kadar survived luckily, but his condition hasn't changed ever since.«

Altaїr noticed how Malik searched for his brother's small hand on the mattress and closed his around it like it was made of porcelain. »Kadar was an accident, one would say. I was already 16 years old as he was born but our mother was in her late forties. They had me really late in their lives because they first wanted to settle their careers so that I would be secured in life. My mother did not even think she could have another child and then suddenly there he was. He was an accident but the biggest gift we could possibly receive.«

The look Malik granted Kadar resembled the way Malik would look at Connor or Desmond. He was wearing the same soft smile that oh so gently tugged on the corners of his mouth now. Still, Altaїr did not dare to say something. 

»He could be a pain in the ass sometimes and he was very attention needy, but I was madly in love with him. He was a darling, a little bit like Connor and he could cry over nothing like Desmond.« Malik then continued with a little huff of air leaving his lips. 

»You shouldn’t be talking like that.« Altaїr then scolded him softly, right before he caressed his cheek gently with his left hand. »After all he's still alive, isn't he?«

»But no one knows if and when he will wake again. He was not as severely injured as you might think. The doctors had thought he would wake up fast. Instead he is here for what feels like an eternity. And I can do nothing more than to visit him here as often as I can to look after him. In the beginning of all this, I came every day and even nearly lost my job because of it. But I couldn’t stand the thought that he might wake up and hears from a stranger what has happened. Today I just wish for him to wake up and be still Kadar and that he has the chance to meet you and the boys.«

Altair's eyes grew big as Malik grabbed his left hand and gently planted a soft kiss on the remaining knuckle of his missing finger. »If I have to be honest, you reminded me a little bit of myself as I saw you in  _ Creed’s Café _ . You looked so determined and stubborn and a lot older than seventeen because of the worries you were wearing on your face at all times. I've seen it right then and there that there is a lot weighing you down and I think a little part of me wanted to help you.«

»And the rest?«

»The rest wanted to erase those worries of yours. No teenager should make a face like this. I saw you after work one day. You had just fetched Desmond from school - I think that was the moment when it hit me like a truck.«

»Well, well, so that's your kink?« Maybe it was not the right time and place to make a stupid joke like this, but Malik laughed anyway and pressed a second kiss to his hand, before he let it go.

»Maybe« He grinned and stood from the bed just to pull Altaїr into his arms, as he would only do when they were alone. Surely Malik would rather hold Kadar now, but as long as he couldn’t, Altaїr did not mind to be the alternative. He occupied his fingers with caressing Malik's back softly and listened to his deep breathing as he drew invisible lines on his broad back. »Anyway, you now know my dirty little secret.«

»I'm sorry.« He breathed against Malik's shoulder as he locked his fingers in his coat. »I really didn’t mean to make you worry like that today, just because I am mutating into a hysterical chick.«

A small chuckle came from Malik's throat. It was such a deep warm and pleasant sound that Altaїr felt shivers running down his spine immediately, before Malik broke the hug again so he could cup Altair's face in his hands instead. »The question is  _ why  _ are you mutating into a hysterical chick. It would be enough for me to know that to live with it.«

He sure deserved an explanation, but for Altaїr it was still hard. He did not like to talk on this level with Malik. It was easier to jest and joke, but as his gaze shifted to Kadar's sleeping face again, he sighed defeated. 

»Connor was kidnapped when he was six years old.« He began saddened by the memory. »I was eleven when it happened and I should've picked him up from school like I always did. But on this morning we had the biggest fight - I can't even remember what it was about - and so I took my time. I wanted to keep him in suspense because I knew he would be frightened if I'm not on time. So I wandered through some shops on my way to elementary, looked at things that I would never be able to buy. The thought that Connor could be as stupid as to go with some stranger never even crossed my mind at that time! But when I arrived at the school he was not there. I was sure that Connor had gone home alone and that bill would beat me up because I did not do as he and mom had ordered me to. But he wasn't home either when I ran back.« Sometimes this day still haunt him like the images from some movie he had seen as a child and which had burned itself in his retina never to be unseen again. »So I grabbed the boys and went out again. We went back to the school, searched the way he would've taken. We even searched the woods for him, but he was nowhere to be found.«

»What happened then?« Malik asked silently and if anyone, Malik could understand what Altaїr had gone through that day.

»He was later arrived at the street as if nothing happened. I think Bill had beaten me to death that evening if it had not been for Ezio taking the blame and some of the beatings too although he was never involved in it. I think we both couldn’t move for two days straight after that.« He chuckled although he did not want to. »I deserved those beatings, though. Connor said that nothing had happened to him, but that doesn’t mean it's the truth. I think Connor just did not want to get me in any more trouble and make me not blame myself any longer.«

»That didn’t work, right?«

»Oh no, it didn’t. After that I provoked Bill for the entirety of a month to get him angry. I thought I didn’t deserve any better than to be beaten by him almost daily. Connor told us that some strange man had bribed him with ice cream. You see, Connor war never good at resisting sweets and he never was good at describing people. He only said that the guy was tall, looked nice and had a funny accent and that they only went to go eat some ice-cream, just as the stranger had promised. And after that Connor went on his merry way.«

»Well, that sounds like him.« Malik smirked before he pressed a chaste kiss to Altaїr's head.

»I love those boys so much, Malik. I wouldn’t bear it if something like that would happen again just because I didn’t spend enough attention to my surroundings. All I could think about today was that Bill has taken him and was already miles away to do who-knows-what to my baby brother. If anything would happen to them I wouldn’t survive it.«

He did not even notice how the first little tears managed to crawl their traitorous way down his cheeks. He couldn’t talk to anybody about this, not even Ezio. People would look at him funny. He was the rock his brothers depended on. He was the one person who always knew what they should do. How should he ever talk to any of them about his worries? They deserved better, they deserved smiles and laughter no matter what was torturing Altaїr on the inside.

»I'm so afraid because of the court hearing.« Altaїr growled as he found his voice again, not willing to give into the tears. »I am constantly afraid. I did not think it would be like that after escaping Bill. I am just eighteen years old, Malik. What judge would give custody over three kids to a teenager? I am just a kid myself! But there is no plan b. Ezio's father lives his merry life somewhere in Italy with his real family. That bastard Haytham had probably gone back to his old life in good old Britain. Even if the judge would decide that they will live in foster families, no one will ever be able to force Ezio to do something he doesn't want. He is bound to run away from any home that isn't ours. And what if the judge decides to give the little ones back to Bill?«

»They wouldn’t do that, Altaїr. Not after everything he has done.« Of course, Malik would try to reassure him and though a part of him knew that he was right, still he refused to be calmed.

»What makes you so sure? After all he still is on the loose. No one has done a thing for us in all those years and even now! He has been allowed to run free even after he nearly killed me!«

Malik's grip tightened a little, but Altaїr did not mind. »It won’t come to this, I promise you that. No judge in the world would give those three to such a monster.«

»But what if they send them to some foster home instead? What if they separate them and give them to different families? Nobody would soothe Desmond then and protect Connor. And no one would prevent Ezio then from ruining his life.«

»Before something like this would happen, we grab those three and flee to Mexico.«

He did not know why, but he had to laugh at that. It felt good having said all this out loud for the first time, maybe that's why he had to laugh, but maybe it just was Malik's influence on him. 

»Yes, that sounds good. We will live somewhere where it is always sunny and warm, think about new names for ourselves and make siesta in the hot sun of the noon.« He smiled, before Malik let him go finally, but not without stroking through his short hair.

»We should go back home. I think those kids of ours burn down the house otherwise.« 

Mainly Connor and Ezio, because Desmond was able to oversleep an earthquake. Altaїr nodded, but did not move while he watched Malik who wandered again towards Kadar's head and pressed a kiss to his forehead to wish him good night. Just then he turned to go. Altaїr felt how Malik tried to grab his hand again, but Altaїr scooped swiftly around the man. Slowly he stepped next to Kadar and grabbed the hand that was lying on his blanket to give it a small squeeze.

»A pleasure to meet you, Kadar.« He murmured into the silence around them. After all he now had one more brother to care about.

 


	7. Water Damage

The day began with the face of Robert de Sable. He had not expected anything out of the ordinary as he had looked up from behind the counter where he had been tidying up the various containers for the different coffee blends that Mr. Creed sold. The surprise hit him all the harder as he was then confronted with the grinning face of his old nemesis.  Maybe the word  _ nemesis  _ was a little over exaggerated because Altaїr had heard that normal people really don’t tend to have something like a nemesis in real life, but Altaїr thought it was exactly the right word to describe their relationship.

As long as Altaїr could remember there had always been Robert to pee on his leg - Incase Altaїr hadn't had enough problems already even without this guy in his life. »Well look what we've got here!« Robert grinned as soon as Altaїr's amber eyes met his blue ones with the sharpest, most deadly glare he could muster. »It shouldn’t really surprise me, that you are still working in this dumpster, Miles, should it?«

Robert was a tall guy, he always had been. To some people his figure sure was intimidating, but not for Altaїr. Ezio wasn’t the only one who did fight at some point in his life. However, unlike his baby brother, Altaїr had always tried to keep it undetected to avoid any more conflict with Bill then necessary. From the very beginning, his favorite rival had been Robert de fucking Sable. Their very stormy relationship had already begun in Kindergarten. It had begun with the fight over a toy they both had wanted to play with until they broke it. And even as a child, there had been nothing cute about this guy, not even in the eyes of a mother. Today he looked more like a creepy skinhead. He was bald but had, therefore, stubbles on his chin. His clothing style was a mix somewhere between business and hobo. There were surely men out there who could pull something like that off, but Robert certainly could not.

»In fact it's Ibn-La'Ahad, but it shouldn’t be such a surprise that you still hadn't have time to learn how to read.« He replied annoyed with a small hint to his nametag on his green apron. It had been heavenly quiet the whole day. The only exception had been Ezio who had barged in late in the morning to charm two cupcakes from the hands of his brother. As always, whenever school would start late and no one was home to wake him up, he had been running late. The other cupcake surely was for some girl again, although it seemed that Cristina Vespucci was no longer in the picture.  One day Ezio had come home grumbling something about her parents. Altaїr wasn’t naive and he could very well imagine what had happened. Ezio wasn’t exactly the dream of every parent, although he behaved very well at his new school in the last months. 

»Look at that! Did you adopt your husband's name like every decent wife should?«

Altaїr was literally dumbfounded and it did cost him a lot of effort to swallow what was lying on his tongue. Malik would be proud of him, if he could see how grown up and mature he was behaving. 

»What can I do for you, Robert?« He instead asked as friendly as he possibly could, his fingers flatly spread on the counter to not clench them into fists. Recently he couldn’t fight the feeling to always be alone in this place. Maybe things didn’t look too bright anymore for his boss? Not that Altaїr would mind being alone. Well, he did. Usually. If he would be at home and no one was there he would go crazy. At home, he needed the constant chatter of his younger brothers or Malik. He had never known it to be different. It was always loud around him. Sometimes he even missed the yelling. It was a different thing when he was here at work. Here he savored the quietness and peace of being alone. Other than that he could read when he was here. 

»Coffee. Black.« Robert answered, obviously confused by Altair's lack of anger.  His boss probably was glad that he never kicked Altaїr out, he decided as he turned to the coffee machine to do his work. It was always good to have an employee who was dependent of his loan. And Altaїr had always hated it to be called lazy. He was everything but lazy. 

»Are you trying to compensate college by yourself?« Robert spoke again and Altaїr followed his cue with his eyes to the history book lying on the counter behind him. »Well, I always wondered why you never escaped this dumpster of a town as you had the chance. It isn’t easy to get a studentship. Are you sure you are as bright as the teachers always praised you for being?«

»Your coffee, Robert.« Without spilling a single drop he placed the cup on the counter between them. »That would be-«

»Dude! What happened to your hand?« With big eyes, Robert's gaze had shifted to Altaїr's left hand and something inside Altaїr felt like it was pulling on his organs. He still wasn’t used to it. 

»None of your business. That would be-«

»Is it true what the others are saying? I've heard you are fucking with some old guy and that you even bring your brothers to live with that creep! Well, I guess it's like the old saying: Like mother like daughter, right La'Ahad?«

Without Altaїr trying again to tell him the sum, Robert dropped the exact money on the counter. Not even a tip, of course.

»Are you jealous?« Altaїr couldn’t help it while he opened the cash register and sorted the money in before he closed it again with a small  _ Ping _ . »And I always thought that this was just a rumor in school!« He said, folding his arms in front of his chest.

»What rumor?« 

»Oh, don't give me that, de Sable. Each and everyone in school knew that you like to suck dick on the weekends. I bet you were horny for me all those years but you were just too shy to confront me about it. Poor little thing.«

Robert’s face was glowing red, but Altaїr could not say if it was because of his rage or because he really did pull a nerve. Should he brace himself to parry a punch? The only thing he knew was that this guy reminded him in some sick way of Bill.  He always had.

»I bet that's what you dreamed about.« He spat. »I bet you wished for me fucking you senseless, right? And yet I always thought your stepdad would execute that task so well.«

If it were not for the door swinging open with a little ring of the bells over the door, Robert's coffee would have been spilled all over his crotch or right in his face. Robert didn’t even fathom how lucky he was – although Altaїr didn’t think it would be a great loss for the human race if Robert would not be able to pass on his bald genes. He sure was not even thinking of the possibility that Altaїr was right about to jump over the counter to tackle and strangle him. 

»Alty!« A voice quaked from the door and Robert took this chance to flee from the café. Well, maybe he  **had** seen the fury in Altaїr's eyes. Altaїr, on the other hand, had this distinct feeling that he wouldn't have seen this guy for the last time. Next time there wouldn’t be Desmond to save this guy from a boiling hot shower.

Altaїr saw how Robert bumped against Malik's shoulder on his way out and how Malik looked after him a little irritated. It didn’t take much for Altaїr to forget his rage when he would see Desmond's happy stupid little face and for sure he could not deny that this last stupid remark of Robert had hit home. But Desmond, his annoying baby brother, was here and Malik, his annoying boyfriend.  

Still, he couldn’t help but think about how Malik and Ezio had treated him after that incident. Ezio hadn't even dared to touch his brother in any way and Malik had behaved like he was made of glass despite that he surely had not intended to do so. Not until Altaїr had made it very clear that he indeed could handle the situation and was still the same old Altaїr as before, they stopped. But Altaїr couldn't fight what those stupid comments made with him.

»Hey!« He greeted the both of them just as he switched the coffee machine into standby so that this stupid thing could go into cleaning mode soon enough. Malik bridged the distance between them over the counter with a chaste kiss. It was nothing more than a brush of lips. Very much too short for Altaїr's liking, but Desmond stopped the lovebirds with a low »eww«, proving once more that he, indeed, was still just a baby.

»What was that about?« Malik hummed slowly and nodded over his shoulder towards the door. He wouldn’t put it past Malik that he indeed had watched the scene from outside the café. He had this very protective side and Altaїr liked it very much – although he didn’t like to be protected by him either. He could do this very well on his own. Well … Probably he couldn’t. After all, he had never learned how to protect himself. He had only ever learned how to jump right into the danger to help others. He very much needed someone like Malik.

»Just some retard. Are you picking me up or what?« He grinned while taking off his apron to hang it on the little hook next to the staff room door. His colleague had to arrive any moment, to begin with her shift and that meant a whole afternoon with Desmond and Malik for Altaїr. Later they could pick up Connor from school – if the boy would not have other plans already again. It was not that Altaїr would not like to see that Connor was growing more and more independent, but … Well, it was a strange feeling. Soon enough his first little fledgling would leave the nest.

»Lucky you, right?« Malik smirked.

Altaїr only poked his tongue out at him and vanished to the staff room to get his things and stuff his book back into his bag. He just came back as his coworker ran into the coffee shop a little exhausted to take over. Even in Malik and Desmond's presence, Altaїr couldn’t forget his encounter with Robert. He couldn’t deny his envy. Robert was visiting college just like Maria, just like everyone he knew from school. It was only he who was still stuck in Dorchester.

»You have to go take a bath with me later, Altaїr!« Desmond exclaimed at some point, but he got nothing other than a small nod off his brother. 

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Altaїr had already stopped counting how many times the toilet had been flushed and he had already stopped his struggle against Robert while the boy pushed his head down into the toilet bowl. He didn’t hear the laughter of the other boys standing by and watching his disgrace anymore. His own panic was just a dull feeling somewhere in the back of his head. The feeling of drowning had him fully under control.

Altaїr had this problem with water since he could remember and most of the time he didn’t even know the reason why. Even as a baby he used to scream like a stuck pig when his mother tried to bathe him. It wouldn’t get any better when he grew older, but his mother's patience with him would run thinner and thinner. One couldn’t simply consider the sensitivities of a little child with two other kids and a yelling husband in the house, just because the kid would rather stay dirty.

Even the bathing together with his brothers wouldn’t make it any better for him. He would still feel uncomfortable in the water and wouldn’t understand why. But it was a little bit more bearable for all who were involved in this process. His mother wouldn’t yell so much at him for acting like a baby and Altaїr wouldn’t panic so much as soon as the first drop of water would hit his head. Altaїr had often been ashamed in front of Ezio and Connor. They would simply play happily in the tub and he would just cower there like a wet cat and wait for his mother to pull him out again. Altaїr was in fact so frightened, that he wouldn’t even dare to move. 

The accident at the frozen pond with Connor, when Altaїr had nearly drowned, had not really contributed to overcoming his fear of water either. 

Altaїr had no clue where this discomfort came from – Well, that was indeed a lie he liked to tell himself. Altaїr very well knew – even in his delicate age of twelve – that fear and discomfort were, in fact, a different kettle of fish. They were both subconsciously serving to protect and both not necessary rational explainable.

In Altaїr's case, his fear of water could be rational comprehensible and was a product put together by different traumatic events in his life, even when this near drowning experience alone would have been enough for that cause. But the origin of Altaїr's heavy fear was lying very much deeper and earlier in his life then this incident in the woods. 

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»What is this fuss all about?« Bill Miles’ face was flushed red – Altaїr had never seen it differently. There was just this one time he had seen the man smile and that was more triumph than anything else when he had managed to drag his mother to the altar. 

»It's nothing, Bill!« His mother assured her newly-wed husband with a smile in one of her wasted attempts to soothe the guy.

»Every goddamn time I come home after a hard day of work it's only yelling and squealing like you stab a pig!« He growled from his position at the bathroom door. His gaze went from his heavily pregnant wife straight to Altaїr, her oldest son, who still tried to escape her firm grip.

It wouldn’t be a lie to say that Altaїr was dirty from head to toe. He looked a lot like he had rolled around in a puddle of mud like a pig. Altaїr's story would be a different one for sure, though. It had been Ezio's fault. It had not been Altaїr's fault that this stupid branch had broken under his featherweight. Clearly, it had been Ezio’s fault. It also had not been his fault that he had fallen head first in this puddle underneath the branch. 

»For god's sake, Maud! Look at the floor! Look what a mess he made!« In fact, Altaїr hadn't only made a mess in the bathroom, but this catastrophe was, without a doubt, the worst while he was still fighting against his mother desperately. And she, his mother, tried nearly as desperately to get her son out of his dirty clothes, pulled and tugged at him as hard as she could without ripping his clothes to sit him down in the bathtub. 

Little dried crumbs of dirt fell down from his head with every movement and Altaїr knew even at five years old that he didn’t exactly smell like a field of cornflowers.

»I'm sorry Bill! I don’t know what's gotten into him again! He is behaving like a wild animal when he needs to bathe! I don’t know what to do anymore.«

His mother was much stronger than Altaїr, but Altaїr never gave up his struggle against this woman who stabbed him in the back like that. It was the same thing every time. Whenever they would be alone she was the loveliest lady in the whole wide world. She would apologize for all the yelling and screaming in the house. She would apologize for the way that Bill was treating them and how he was treating her. But as soon as this guy would stomp through the door the tides would turn drastically. No matter what would happen, it would always be Altaїr's fault because Ezio would hide. Even now he was nowhere to be found. Of course, he was hiding again. Altaїr was not even surprised in the slightest. Ezio wasn’t stupid and he knew that a drama was about to happen every time his mother tried to get Altaїr to take a bath.

»You are too soft with the boy, Maud!« Bill grumbled again before he entered the room fully, his big form somewhat intimidating for mother and child. He didn’t waste any second to grab Altaїr by the neck like one would an animal. »If he desires to live like a filthy animal he can do that outside, but not in my house!«

Altaїr didn’t know what was coming as Bill lifted him suddenly and without much effort and dropped him into the tub. There wasn’t even water in the tub yet, but Altaїr tried nonetheless desperately to scramble out again. Bill was way faster than him and he would have none of this fuss. There was a loud  _ smack _ as the large back of Bill's hand collided with Altaїr's left cheek just before the man grabbed the shower head, turned on the cold water and aimed at Altaїr's face. The jet of water was hard enough that Altaїr had problems to open his eyes and swallowed most of it while gasping for air like a fish. He tried to shield his face with his little hands, to no avail. Water could hurt, that he had learned early on in his life and Altaїr had no chance to escape. Bill did not have much problem to hold him down with one hand while the other was still showering the boy with ice cold water. And it sure took an eternity before his mother finally intervened. 

»I think he understands now, Bill.« She said softly and Bill finally stopped his torture. Altaїr coughed and wheezed and tried to get as much air as possible into his small lungs. The dirt from his hair ran thickly over his reddened face. »Thanks for your help, Honey. I think I can handle the rest myself.«

Bill only grunted and finally left the bath, but for Altaїr it was the worst kind of betrayal his mother had ever committed against him. He shook in anger and jittered because of the cold water and his wet clothes as he lifted his gaze to his mother.

»Oh, don’t give me that look, Altaїr! You did that to yourself. You know how to behave when Bill is home, don’t you? After all, you should be happy he didn’t force you to sleep outside again. And now take off your dirty clothes and wash yourself properly. You aren’t a baby anymore.«

And so he did. Altaїr crawled out of the tub, took off his clothes just to put the wet clothing into the sink and climbed again in the tub after his mother filled it with fresh water. He didn’t take his angry gaze off her for just one second, though. He didn’t feel just betrayed but humiliated. Altaїr was proud, no matter how much Bill tried to beat this pride out of his little body. He probably would never forgive her for just watching while Bill showered him like a dog. 

She already had banned the man two times from her and her children's lives. He knew that even if he had been too little at that time to understand. But this time she had grown soft and Altaїr put the blame on the baby in her womb. He would never forget the day she had come home from work, a box with all her work stuff in her arms with a big and round belly – not as big and round as now, but still. It hadn’t even taken two weeks for Bill Miles to come back for the third time and this time he had been adamant to stay and his mother grateful that this horrible man was taking her back. 

»Why did you marry him, Mummy?« Altaїr growled before he sat down. He hated it that he had to look up to the so-called adults because he was still so little. Maybe he was only five years old, but he knew already that those so-called adults – especially some like his mother – didn’t have all the answers too. 

»You know why, Altaїr. I love him and you boys need a dad. Especially the little one in my belly needs a dad as soon as he will be born.« His mother had never really spoken about it, probably because she thought that Altaїr would not understand, but he was aware that the baby that his mother was now carrying was not Bill’s child.

»We would be better without him!« Yes, they would, he was sure of that! He had never needed a father in his life. He had seen one man after another come into their lives and leave again and every time one of those guys had left, it had been him, Altaїr would have tried to collect the shards that were his mother and stick them back together. 

»You don’t know what you are talking about, Altaїr.« She replied with a cutting voice as she rose again to full height. »And now wash. I don’t want to hear a thing, you understand? You are not leaving this tub until I say so. If you disobey I will tell Bill and you sure don’t want that, do you?«

He took back what he thought earlier. No betrayal before this one had hurt so much and struck him so deeply. His mother ignored his shocked and hurt look after her threat and simply left the bathroom, shutting the door behind her like the gates of hell and so, again, Altaїr was left alone just like that. 

Altaїr did as she told him. He sat in the tub even when he felt that he couldn’t bear the feeling of water around him anymore. At least Ezio wasn’t here to see him cry like a little girl now. He wasn’t crying because he was sad but because of his shame and because of his anger towards his mother and because the hurt she had caused him. He didn’t know much about all those things really, but shouldn’t they, her kids, always come first?

Instead, she did whatever Bill would demand of her and let her boys drown. Figuratively speaking. 

She had not even done a thing as Bill had once locked him out of the house so that Altaїr had been forced to sleep outside in the backyard like a dog. The next morning she had come for him with a smile on her face as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened.  _ »It wasn’t so bad, was it? You are lucky that we have summer and that it hadn't rained last night, honey.«  _ She had told him as she had taken his hand to lead him back inside. That morning, Altaїr had missed Haytham, her ex-boyfriend. He would not have allowed something like this.

But Altaїr couldn't bring himself to hate her. He could never hate her.

Altaїr persevered in the bathtub even as the water was slowly getting colder. At some point, there was a loud noise downstairs but instead of his mother coming for him, there was only the loud thud of the front door slamming shot shortly followed by the engine of Bill's car roaring. His mother’s threat and his fear of it were so deeply ingrained in his little head, that he wouldn’t even dare now to leave the bathtub.

He was never disobedient towards his mother, although he sure would love to be sometimes and although he struggled every time he had to bathe. At last, Altaїr would do what his mother would say every time and his mother very well knew that it wasn’t really necessary to threaten him. It was different with Ezio. The boy had his own head and he tried everything in his powers to get what he wanted. But his mother treated Ezio differently than him. Altaїr had no clue why, though. And he didn’t have any clue why she was so stern with her first born child especially since they had to live with Bill again. How was it even possible that Bill would always come first?

It was the same thing every time his mother got a new boyfriend. She would just forget about them, about him and Ezio as if they had never even existed, blinded by her own rose colored glasses as if they were nothing but mistakes she would rather forget about. By now Altaїr did not even know any longer if he should be angry or sad about this. Maybe, he thought, he was just too young to understand. Then again, he did not want to understand why his mother would allow Bill to hit her and would not even prevent her own children from seeing the abuse. And now, after years of this whole charade with different men and Bill, his mother would allow Bill to hit them even, her own sons. She would never stand in front of them like a shield. At least sometimes she tried to protect Ezio. It was a start, he guessed.

It was better than nothing, even though she would not do anything for him other than preaching the same thing over and over again. She would rub his back so he would stop crying when he couldn’t find sleep and would say that he just had to learn to offer the other cheek. Someday it would pay off for him. What mother would tell her child that it had to just bear the beatings?

But Altaїr was only five years old and he praised the very ground she walked on! He knew that it was wrong what she was doing to him and what she demanded of him. And he knew that it was wrong what was happening here in this house.

Just because he was a child that didn’t mean he couldn’t understand those things, he just couldn’t process it like an adult would. The only real lesson he took from his mother's behavior was that he was the one to protect not only himself but his little brother Ezio too. If not him, then who?

Altaїr had no idea how long he had already been sitting in the bathtub, but he knew that he was tired and terribly cold. The water wasn’t deep enough to drown in it, not even for a child. Right? How deep was deep enough to drown? Wasn’t even a puddle enough? All he wanted was to climb out the tub again. It was April already, but it was far from being warm outside yet and the bathroom window was wide open. He was already freezing.  

Altaїr stood with shaking knees from the cold and his exhaustion. He was about to climb over the edge – he really wasn’t tall for a five-year-old boy, Ezio would catch up to him soon – as his mother's threat hit him again and brought him back to his knees. She wouldn’t have any scruple to tell Bill that he had not listened to her, as much as he would like to think she wouldn't. And, for once, he rather not imagined how Bill’s reaction would then play out. 

However, still he did not think of his mother as a monster. She was just overwhelmed. He loved her dearly. It would be so much easier to hate her. When the three of them were alone, when there were no guys in her life, she was wonderful. She would read them stories and would cuddle with them. She would rub his back until he would fall asleep or would tell him about his father. Sadly, his mother was beautiful and she never stayed single for long. The concept of hate was still foreign to Altaїr, especially the concept of hating his own mother. He knew, after all, that she meant well. Considering anything but this would be heartbreaking.

With a desperate sob, he sat down again and curled in on himself as tightly as he could to block out the cold from his body. It didn’t work that well. His hands were already wrinkled and his lips must have turned blue. Jittering he listened to the noises of the house, but he heard nothing other than the moaning of the wooden balks. Had they left him on his own? Had his mother forgotten him already?

Was Ezio here?

Altaїr didn’t dare to move. His mother had told him to be still. So Altaїr simply felt carefully for the faucet and turned on the hot water. He hated water but in this moment it was the only thing that could give him any warmth as long as he had so sit here and wait. The best thing would be if he never would get dirty ever again. At least he wouldn’t have to take another bath then.

The sun had already sunken, as Altaїr opened his eyes the next time. He could see the night hanging low outside the small window and the house was still completely and eerily silent. Maybe they were all asleep already, he mused. But no,  _ somebody  _ would have been bound to come in and look after him by now if this would be the case, right? What if something bad had happened? Again the water was cold as ice and Altaїr had a hard time bringing his hand to the faucet a second time to turn on the hot water before he wrapped his thin arms tighter around his knees and rested his forehead against them. 

It was so exhausting to move and he had no clue how long he had been in here already. He just wanted to go to bed and to not be cold anymore.

His limbs felt like they were made of rubber and heavy as iron at the same time. Whimpering, he sank deeper into the now warmer water after he had turned it off again with shaking fingers. By now he was sure that his mother had simply forgotten about him. Maybe the new baby was born already. Well, if his new brother had arrived, she would surely forget about him. Already she had her hands full with him and Ezio and them sometimes acting up or throwing a tantrum. He knew that his mother did not know how to deal with this kind of behavior and that they would sometimes cause her to cry. But how were they supposed to get their attention otherwise?

»Mummy…« he whimpered quietly even if she had forbidden him to. But there was still this childish believe and hope in him that his mother would hear him no matter what and would come for him.

It could have been hours after that until Altaїr woke up the next time. The bathroom door flung open and roused him from his slumber abruptly. Outside it was still dark … or again? 

»Altaїr!« His mother screeched and hurried to the tub so quickly that it was all but a blur to him. »Oh my god, my baby!«

Altaїr didn’t understand what was happening to him as she pulled him out of the freezing water and wrapped him in a towel. He was just too groggy to understand. Her belly was still there,  Altaїr could feel it as she lifted him up. It didn’t take long until he found himself in his bed, wrapped up in the towel and his blanket in the loving arms of his mother and Ezio's big worried eyes resting upon him as he crawled into bed next to his mother. 

»Oh Eaglet, why didn’t you come out of that tub?« She croaked with tears in her eyes, after the realization that her boy had listened to her and sat in that tub waiting for his mother to come and get him, seemed to slowly sink in. It was this childish trust of a son that brought her to tears. 

»You said I couldn’t.« He mumbled sleepily and his throat hurt badly. He felt sore, his throat hoarse, and sick but it helped that his mother was cradling him a little. Just her belly bothered him.

»Oh, my baby« She sighed again as if it would mean anything. »We thought the baby was coming and hurried to the hospital.« She wouldn’t say it out loud, but they both knew what lay on her tongue. She had indeed forgotten her five-year-old son. She had thought the new baby would come, had grabbed Ezio and Bill and had forgotten about her waiting son. 

»Bill is going to be so mad when he sees the chaos in the bathroom.« She mumbled quietly and Altaїr couldn’t stifle a little sob even if it felt uncomfortable especially with Ezio being around. He was the big brother! He should not cry. It was his duty to comfort and protect.

»Why don't we ever come first, Mommy?« There was a little hiccup between his words, which made him only even angrier. »You only ever worry about Bill, but you should be protecting us!«

She only pressed a chaste kiss to his head, but Altaїr didn’t want that kiss. He knew what such a kiss meant after a question like that even if he wasn’t able to put it into words yet himself. And he knew that her next words would be lies and that her kiss should distract him from this lie. »I promise you, everything will get better.«

But nothing got better. Connor arrived a few days after that on the fourth of April and four years after that, on the thirteenth of March, there was little Desmond entering the stage, but their life together never became any better. Instead, there was only another horrible day more in his life when Altaїr found his mother one morning in that much-hated bathtub, lying in her own blood. After that, he had refused to even set foot in the room for as long as he possibly could. The bathroom was a place of horrors for him and he couldn't see this changing in the near future. 

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There it was again, this familiar feeling of drowning. He couldn’t cough anymore, instead, his head was pounding and he felt as if he was about to lose consciousness right as a large fist in his hair was pulling him back again. Altaїr didn’t gasp for breath. Instead, he vomited water right on the floor before he sank coughing and gasping like a fish on the tiles of the bathroom stall. His heart was hammering against his ribcage and there was this loud ringing in his ears that was almost deafening him. He felt like his head was ready to explode and every inhale of breath was painful to him now. In this moment, he didn’t care how miserable he had to look like. 

»I hope you learned your lesson, Miles.« Robert spat at him somewhere outside the universe that was Altaїr's head. He didn’t waste any energy to move his head to look at him or to watch Robert and his friends escape. At the age of five he didn’t understand the concept of hate, but now with twelve, he understood it very well. There were only two people who he hated dearly, Robert de Sable and William Miles.

He was thinking about his mother again now that he way lying on that dirty floor of the school toilets and listened to the noises of the building around him. He should offer his other cheek if someone would hit him and because no one else would, he should stand in front of his brothers and in front of everyone who wasn't strong enough to protect themselves. He did. He did protect this girl today, Maria, because Robert had stolen her backpack and bullied her. But when would his troubles pay off?

»Altaїr?« There was the small voice of a girl coming from the door. Altaїr would’ve liked to play dead, but the girl was already beside him before he could do or say anything.

»That's the boy's toilet…« He commented dryly as Maria sat down next to him and looked at him a little blunt with her big blue eyes. She looked a little boyish for a girl. She was wearing her hair short and never she would appear in a skirt or a dress and that was all the more reason for boys like Robert to bully her. Altaїr really didn’t like school, but her he did like. She had those really clever big eyes and she always knew the right answers to their teacher’s questions. Cleverness had always been an appealing thing for him.

»Well, the floor sure looks more comfortable here than in the girl's lavatory. Would you mind if I would lie down for a moment?« She asked with that thick British accent of her. 

Altaїr gathered his remaining strength to wave at her nonchalantly in an almost inviting manner before he let his arm fall over his face. He felt terribly embarrassed. »Go ahead, knock yourself out.«

So she did. She really did lay down beside him on those wet and dirty tiles and looked at the ceiling like it was something extremely interesting to her while Altaїr still concentrated on breathing. Oh saving oxygen. He was safe at last. And wet. 

»Thanks … by the way.« Maria whispered. »I owe you.«

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Altaїr was nearly too tall to sit comfortably in the tub. Normally he simply would let his long legs dangle over the edge but therefore he would need to sink deeper in the water and that simply was a big no-no to him. But even if he would want to do just that, he would not be able to for he was not alone. In fact, he wouldn’t be sitting in a tub if he would be alone. No Sir. He would rather have a quick shower. He loved being clean and freshly showered like everyone else, but he was more like a cat and loved his showers quick and efficient. 

He sometimes envied the others when they would play in the water no matter if it would be in the bathtub or some public pool. And then he wondered if he could get rid of this ridiculous fear of his someday. He had been ashamed of it his whole life. The other kids in school had always made fun of him because of it because Altaїr would always be the only one not taking part in the school's swimming lessons and would never go with them to a pool or a lake. For most people, it didn’t seem like such a big deal but it was. This fear isolated him from anyone outside his family. And what if something like this one incident with Connor would happen again? Sure, the other boys could swim - except Desmond - but if he would be the one who was with someone drowning? He had to learn eventually someday…

Anyway, Desmond's playfulness didn’t make Altaїr's problem with the bathtub easier. Even the little space Altaїr had, he would shamelessly infiltrate. After all they were brothers and after all, Altaїr had changed his diapers, so nothing he had never seen before and nothing to be ashamed of. Sometimes he was glad that they were only guys in this family. A sister would have made things much more complicated at points, he assumed. 

And then there was Malik, who watched the siblings with the widest grin he had ever seen. He sat as far away as possible on the toilet seat to avoid getting splashed by Desmond. He was already wearing his reading glasses - which, in fact, just made Malik only more attractive than he already was. Desmond loved those evenings and that was the only reason for Altaїr to play along. Desmond was after all still a child and he should be allowed to be a child as long as he liked to. Altaїr didn’t even mind that Desmond was chewing his ear off as he was talking about his new friend Shaun. It seemed to be pure luck that this British brat went to Desmond's new school and in fact sat in the very same class. Altaїr didn’t like the boy after what he had done to Desmond, but he was glad for Desmond who very strongly that Shaun, in fact, was a wizard because he came from England. It felt great to see him flourish like that. For the first time in forever, Altaїr felt like he had done something right at last. 

It was moments like those when his fear was bearable. It sure was Altaїr who protected and who comforted others, but sometimes even he needed to be protected and comforted. And Desmond did a really good job with that.

»Someday you will tell me about your fear of water.« Malik tried again.

But Altaїr just made a grimace. »Oh believe me:  you don’t even wanna know…«


	8. rainy days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not good at writing smut |D

»We really should make this room sound proof…« Altaїr gasped out of breath, his fingers hooked in Malik's neck to draw him into another kiss. A welcomed change to the fingernails scratching over Malik's back, Altaїr was sure of that, although the older man never protested.

Malik laughed with this deep and humming voice, that Altaїr loved so much, against his waiting lips, but he didn’t grant Altaїr this kiss, instead he bit his bottom lip. That was a thing between them. Altaїr would scratch him and Malik would bite. Maybe it really was for the better that Altaїr didn’t need to share the bathroom with his brothers anymore like before.

»Maybe you should just learn to control yourself.« He murmured, just before another thrust made the boy under him shiver in pleasure. Altaїr really tried to suppress a deep moan and this devil was grinning in triumph. »Or we gag you…«

Yes, he bet Malik would like that. Malik would probably never release him from the gag ever again. Altaїr knew that he had a sadist for a boyfriend who loved to torture him on Saturday mornings. Altaїr awoke to the sound of a key turning in the lock of the bedroom door right before Malik announced his presence with a different approach. Normally it would be Malik who didn’t like to wake up early on weekends.

»This is torture.« Altaїr moaned but took his revenge a moment later as he fished for Malik's ear with his lips and softly bit down in his earlobe. It wasn’t always easy to enjoy their time together when there was always the thought that a child was sleeping next door. His brothers surely weren’t that naïve to not know what happened in here as soon as the door was locked. But they also shouldn’t have to hear their brother having sex.

»Since when don’t you like torture anymore?« Again with this little, evil laugh of him! Malik suddenly scooped his arms under Altaїr's back on the mattress and leaned back. He didn’t break the contact between them while he dragged Altaїr with him, sitting with folded legs on the mattress to pull his boyfriend on his lap. Altaїr was like wax in his hands, this wasn’t new, and this man just knew too well how to handle him.

»Go on, boy, fuck yourself.« He groaned in Altaїr's ear, his large hands relaxed on his hips to hold him a little – and maybe to grab his ass eventually while Altaїr would ride his cock.

Altaїr's eyes already were glassy from lust and his body reduced to a moaning mess, whimpering for more while he moved his hips up and down feeling Malik's hard cock deeper every time inside his body. He already felt that it wouldn’t take much for him and it wasn’t even necessary for Malik to touch him in any way. Maybe it was also a little bit the danger to be heard by his brothers.

Moaning he pressed his face to Malik's neck exhausted from his own movement, but Malik didn’t have any mercy when he grabbed his hips more firm to control Altaїr's movement again. »I like it when you call me _boy_.« Maybe he was just trying to hide how near he was to jump over the cliff. But his lover just knew him all too well, he knew every little traitorous sign, knows what it meant when Altaїr would furrow his brows so desperately, his eyes closed and his mouth wide open in desperate attempt to just breathe. Malik didn’t even need to see his face anymore to know what it looked like.

And because he was a sadist, he suddenly grabbed Altaїr's hips again so the younger one couldn’t move anymore and was forced to look his grinning boyfriend in the eyes. The devil had fun torturing him! It was only just a little satisfaction for Altaїr to see the sweat on Malik's forehead. But while he himself had only the consistency of pudding now, Malik showed no signs of exhaustion or loss of control.

»Lay down on your belly.« He groaned again and Altaїr obeyed instantly. He didn’t want to admit it, but he really liked to be commanded in bed.

Out of an old habit, he wrapped his arms around his pillow, feeling his own cock grinding into the mattress. Just a second later Malik was behind him again, grabbing his hips to lift them just a little and buried himself again deep inside his lean body. This time only the pillow lessened his loud moan. He knew Malik wouldn’t have any mercy from here on now.

A loud and shrill ringing noise tore the silence of the house to shreds but Altaїr didn’t even think about just lifting his head. He felt how Malik tried to back off, but Altaїr grabbed his wrist firmly. »Don’t you dare leave me like this.« He gasped again. »Ezio can open the door.«

Maybe it wasn’t nice to let his younger brother go to the door to look who had the nerve to disturb them at such an unholy hour, but Altaїr didn’t mind. All he wanted now was Malik fucking him senseless until he wouldn’t even know his own name anymore.

Again a shrill ring of the doorbell and then Altaїr heard the frustrated groan of Ezio stomping down the hallway. He probably knew why his brother wasn’t already up to answer the door. Well, he surely wouldn’t hear the end of it for the whole day, but it was worth the trouble.

He forgot the unannounced visitor as soon as Malik thrust hard again to push Altaїr's face deeper into the pillow when his loud moans nearly became low screams. How could Malik possibly control himself so well? Altaїr himself never had any control as soon as they would fuck, but Malik was the master of self-control. Altaїr clawed his fingers into the pillow, but Malik just grabbed his wrists and pinned them to his sweaty back.

A knock on the door made Altaїr moan again, but this time not from pleasure. »Go away, Ezio!« He just yelled with heavy breathing. Maybe this was his brother's revenge for letting him leave his warm bed so early. This guy…

And again a knocking on the door! By now Altaїr was cursing. His orgasm was so near already – again – and Malik wasn't at all bothered by the knocking or his boyfriend's cursing and he surely wouldn’t stop because of this. »Ezio for god's sake piss off!« Altaїr yelled again somewhat angrier while Malik only laughed a little and showered his sweaty back with small kisses. »I like it when you curse under me.« He purred against his wet skin making Altaїr moan again this time without the pillow to lessen the sound.

»Altaїr there are people who want to talk to you!« His brother's voice sounded strange, but he was probably just uncomfortable to stand outside their room while he very well knew what happened on the other side of this door.

»Tell them … _nnngh_ … to fuck off!« Malik really liked to annoy him otherwise he wouldn’t bury himself deeper every time Altaїr tried to speak. His heart was pounding and he nearly forgot to breathe and he didn’t care at all if Ezio could hear him moan with pleasure.

»Altaїr get your ass out here!« Ezio's voice sounded dull and somewhat annoyed and ashamed through the door.

Altaїr really liked to cry. »Five more minutes okay?« That was his last desperate attempt to get his well-deserved orgasm at least, but his brother was nearly as merciless as Malik.

»Oh god, just hurry up you guys!« He just groaned and said something that sounded a bit like _»like rabbits«_.

Sure enough, Altaїr left his bedroom five minutes later a little groggy, but presentable in his sleepwear and knew that Malik would follow soon after him. Now Altaїr was a little curious who wanted to talk to him on a Saturday morning so desperately. He met a flushed red Ezio at the end of the hallway and hummed a little »Good Morning« at him before he strolled down the stairs.

»Living room.« Ezio just said. »You guy's smell.« He was in his pajama, his hair ruffled from sleep and worry in his youthful face. Oh, Altaїr didn’t like that. He liked it more when Ezio was laughing and doing stupid stuff and booming with energy. Suddenly the walk to the living room felt harder than normally and there was this lump in his throat again.

This whole situation just didn’t felt right.

To his surprise, he found Connor and Desmond already in the living room. They were both wearing their pajamas just like the rest of the pack, ruffled from sleep and tiredly looking. Desmond held _Owlik_ firmly pressed against his chest, his head resting on Connor's shoulder with half lidded eyes like he was about to fall asleep at any minute now. The boy really needed his time to wake up fully every time. Connor, on the other hand, looked somewhat tight just like Ezio now that Altaїr spared his brother another look.

Just then Altaїr's eyes moved to the other three persons in the room. There was a brunet lady, dressed in a black suit and white blouse, wearing an elegant pearl necklace around her thin neck. She sat on the only armchair in the room, while two – Were there really two policemen standing in his living room?!

No matter how much Altaїr blinked, the police officers won't just turn into cute little bunnies. There were looking more like bodyguards behind this lady who now looked sternly at Altaїr. He stopped dead in his tracks while Ezio slowly sat down next to Connor, closing instinctively the gap between the twelve-year-old and this woman. She wore glasses and had put her dark hair up to a strict bun. She looked a lot like an ancient principal. Altaїr swallowed hard before he felt Malik's hand on his shoulder, then he finally entered the room.

»Good Morning?« He spoke with a face full of confusion while he saw out of the corner of his eye how Malik sat down on the armrest of the couch. It wasn’t his job to talk with that woman and so he would stay in the background.

»You must be Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad, am I right?« The woman asked. Her voice wasn’t shrill but uncomfortable to hear. Her stern face would never turn into the slightest smile when she looked at the ruffled boy in front of her. Suddenly Altaїr felt naked and prejudiced and like it was written all over his face what he just did with Malik. But well, what did she expect when she would ring at someone's door Saturday morning at 8 AM?

»Right.« He cleared his throat. »I am and who are you?« Altaїr felt cornered, but whoever this authoritarian woman was, he couldn’t show her how it really looked inside his mind. Finally, there was a smile on her face.

»My name is Paola Ramirez and I am from youth welfare office. Of course, I am sorry to disturb you at that hour, but my orders didn’t let me any other chance.«

Youth welfare office. Altaїr felt like a rock was dropping down his stomach and Malik looked pretty much the same while Altaїr finally moved to the couch to sit on the last free spot. After all this was his house, wasn’t it? He didn’t even think about offering this woman a coffee. Again he just swallowed thickly and ruffled through his hair which had grown a little within the last months after Altaїr hadn’t any reason to be afraid someone could grab him by the hair again to pull him through the house.

»Youth welfare office?« He repeated with underlined calmness while Desmond decided it would be better to move to his lap. He looked very tired and like he was right about to snooze a little in Altaїr's arms, but he also looked frightened and so Altaїr could do nothing other than put his arms softly around the boy. »So … what can I do for you? Are you here to interview the boys for the court hearing?«

»Oh no, that will happen shortly before the hearing, at least for the two younger ones. I am here because I was ordered to tell you that we received some complaints in the recent time because of the situation these kids are living in.«

Altaїr saw how Ezio clenched his fists. Connor looked rather uninvolved like he tried to appear like he wasn’t really there.

»What complaints?« He just asked and it costs him more self-control that he liked to admit to smother his anger and fear. His hands were already wet from sweat.

»Well, there was amongst other things the complaint of Mrs. Sforza, who is the principal of Ezio Miles' school. But there are also neighbors complaining about this family.«

Altaїr's gaze shifted from the woman to his brother and the sixteen-year-old made himself a little smaller on his spot just like he tried to vanish between the cushions. »Why wasn’t I informed about this, Ezio? Why is your principal complaining to the youth welfare office?«

Like the other two boys, Ezio just changed school a few months ago after they moved and till this day Altaїr never heard something negative from his school. To all appearances, Ezio seemed to behave! There was at least no Vieri de Pazzi on this school to fight with!

Ezio looked a little demoralized but he didn’t make any move to say something in this matter. Mrs. Ramirez did instead. »Well, it seems like there were some not very delightful incidents recently between Ezio and a boy called Cesare Borgia.«

» _Incidents_?«

»It seems like your brother had a few fist fights with him and after Mr. Borgia's testimony it would always be Ezio who was searching for conflict.«

Altaїr didn’t even know if he should be disappointed or just angry. Ezio knew very well that they were being watched closely since they left Bill's. They had to attend meetings together at youth welfare office and at their lawyer's and every one of them told them to behave exemplary. Altaїr ruffled his hair again. He didn’t even know what to say anymore!

»I'm sorry.« Ezio murmured remorsefully and he looked much like a big dog who already very well knew that he did something really stupid. »But it isn’t right what Cesare said, Altaїr, I swear! It was he who picked on me constantly and who tried to bully me!«

It wasn’t exactly what Altaїr wanted to hear from him. A little part of him really was angry because Ezio got him in trouble again instead of just bearing with Cesare's attacks but on the other hand, he didn’t want Ezio to become a plaything for any bully just for Altaїr's sake. »Why didn’t you come and talk to me about this?« He simply asked but wasn’t able to hide his disappointment.

His voice must've been a harder punishment than any slap to his face because Ezio just looked at his knees like a beaten dog. »I'm sorry, Altaїr. I just didn’t want you to worry because of me.«

He really liked to hug him, but instead, he just looked again at the woman who simply listened. »Well, and what did our neighbors say?« Altaїr really could think of anything because they didn’t even meet one of them truly. They only saw one or another sometimes out on the street and would greet them, but nothing more.

»That, in fact, is something we should talk about in private.« She replied and her gaze only went swiftly from Altaїr to Malik. Just for a second. Altaїr knew now what this all was about and his anger couldn’t be bigger. He knew the prejudice, especially in some _Hicksville_ like Dorchester. It didn’t get better just because they now lived in the suburbs.

»I think I already knew what this is about.« Altaїr sighed. »I know that the neighbors harbor prejudices because of our situation.«

»Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad, I really think we shouldn't talk about this with the children around.«

Altaїr knew she was right, even if the little guys already had seen and hear and lived through so much heavy stuff, they shouldn't have to endure this too. »Is it okay when we go to the kitchen then?« He replied finally and tried to act as calm as possible. But the woman just cleared her throat.

»I think it would be better we would talk while the three boys would pack their things.«

Altaїr thought he must have misheard her but then his blood ran cold in an instant as he saw Ezio's shocked face and understood that he did understand her right. »W-Why should they pack their things?« He just stammered and didn’t care at all how pathetic he must've sounded and he also didn’t care that his grip around Desmond became a little tighter.

»Because of the nature of those complaints we think it would be better to take the kids into the custody of the youth welfare office until the court will make a decision in this case.«

»What? No! We are not going anywhere!« Ezio yelled and jumped from the couch, his hands so tightly clenched into fists that his knuckles had gone white. But Mrs. Ramirez didn’t even flinch.

»I'm afraid there is nothing to discuss, young man. The terms of the youth welfare office were very clear from the beginning and were broken nonetheless. It is just for a month and then the court will make a decision.«

»Then why aren’t you leaving us alone until then?!« Ezio spat with eyes glowing with rage and tears.

»Mr. Miles, there is really no reason to get upset like that. This measure should only serve the protection of you and your brothers and is nothing more than a precaution of the youth welfare-«

»Our protection?!« Ezio exclaimed loudly and Desmond instinctively pressed himself tighter against Altaїr's chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Connor shaking. They were used to yelling, but not so much used to Ezio yelling like this. »Where was the youth welfare office the last twelve years when we needed protection?! You interfere now when we are happy at last and ruin our lives, but where were you when we needed help? Where were you people when Altaїr got his finger cut off by out stepdad?! Where were you and your people when Connor was beaten bloody? Where were you and your people when we had to go to sleep hungry and freezing in one bed?«

Altaїr had the same questions in his mind, but he felt numb and couldn’t do anything other than to hold Desmond. This numbing fear was back and the certainty to have failed. It wasn’t Ezio's fault that this woman was here now; it was his fault alone because he was the one in charge here.

»Mr. Miles do you mind-«

»Don’t call me that!« Ezio spat, but finally, Altaїr reached over Connor's head to take Ezio's wrist softly but fiercely with his left hand. The teenager stopped, trembling with rage.

»What happens now?« Altaїr asked with a hoarse voice but didn’t even bother looking at her. He was sick to the stomach and felt like drowning again. He felt like he was five years old again and sat in a tub filled with cold water, waiting for his mother – _for anybody_ – to come for him.

She cleared her throat again. »We've found some really nice foster homes-«

»No.« Altaїr growled and his eyes were full of anger and hate as he looked at her again. Yes, he hated that woman, that stupid, cowardly person. »Oh no. You won't' take them boys from me and then separate them.«

»Do you mind?«

»No. Ezio is right, you know? There were many calls at your office, there were more than enough complaints and more than enough teachers who would report their worries in the last twelve years. There were many doctors who treated every one of us and enough evidence what Bill Miles did to us all those years. You won't take them boys from me; you won't rip them from their new life when they finally have a chance of luck and separate them from each other. The youth welfare office is there to protect children and not to traumatize them any further, am I right? These kids were traumatized their whole lives and now you come along and try the same damn thing. This isn’t helping.«

She didn’t look just the slightest bit impressed. »Well, I'm afraid it won't work otherwise.«

»You had enough time already to find a foster home for the three of them together. It is your fucking job to make such things work. And you can't possibly think me so stupid to believe that all this happened so suddenly just because you thought it a good idea to come to this house on a Saturday morning to find us unprepared and rip our life apart. If you're going to do that, then you should at least have enough decency to look for a foster home where those three can be together. And I swear to god, if I will hear anything at all from them, that they have been mistreated in any way you will regret this very moment.«

»Are you trying to threaten me, young man?« She really looked somewhat shocked, but the two officers remained calm and Altaїr thought for a short moment he saw a smirk on their faces. Maybe those two had still a conscience or maybe they just knew their file.

»See it as a hint. My brothers have gone through enough shit already in their lives and even if it is just for one month like you said, it shall not be a bad month for them just because you didn’t make your job right. I know that we are only numbers for you.«

»Altaїr you can't let them-«

»There is no other way, Ezio. Now go and help Connor and Des pack their things.« Altaїr's voice was stern just like his face and he wouldn’t take any protest. He was still angry, yes he was. He was so angry that his brother wasn’t even able to control himself for just a few months! But Altaїr wouldn’t say anything like that at all because he already knew that Ezio was already ripping himself apart.

The boy only bit down hard on his bottom lip, before he took Connors hand, who just stood reluctantly from the couch, his long hair messy in his face. He followed without protest although normally he wouldn’t take his brother's hand anymore, he was already twelve and that was nearly an adult. But now he took his hand freely.

It was a little bit more difficult to get Desmond from his lap because the little one was clinging so much to him. At last, they managed to make him move. Frustrated the eight-year-old boy rubbed over his red cheeks to wipe away the newly formed tears and Altaїr couldn’t help but smile a little. Desmond didn’t just look a lot like him, he seemed to try and act just as brave as his older brother. And yet Altaїr himself didn’t feel brave at all. He felt helpless and lost and had no fucking clue what he should do.

They left the living room together and shortly after there were steps on the stairs. Altaїr tried to brace himself for the next accusations, as the women decided that the boys were out of earshot. But he never possibly could have braced himself for what followed.

»Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad we don’t have much time and so I will get straight to the point. It had come to my attention, that some people were very worried because of your extremely intimate relationship with you brothers, especially when it comes to your relationship with little Desmond Miles.«

Altaїr just stared at her for a moment like she was suddenly speaking in a foreign language he couldn't understand or like she just announced he was pregnant. It took a moment for him to regain his voice and he felt Malik next to him still on the armrest shaking with fury.

»What do you mean?« He finally asked very confusedly. His brain simply won't function right anymore.

»Well, you see the best example is the way he was just sitting on your lap just now after all the boy is eight years old. You know it doesn’t interest me in which kind of relationship you are with Mr. Al-Sayf here and which sexual preferences you have, as long as it didn’t affect the children's well-being-«

»Are you accusing me of sexually abusing Desmond?« His voice was nothing more than a low croak and it didn’t even bother him anymore. He never felt so empty in his life.

»It is very much unlikely for a boy his age to bathe with his brother who is ten years older or to sleep in the same bed wit said brother and with the also male lover of his brother, don’t you agree?«

Out of the corner of his eyes, Altaїr could see how Malik was ruffling his hair roughly before he moved both his hands over his face. Malik always remained calm, but now even he was really angry, his lips pressed together to nothing more than a thin line. But he wouldn’t say anything. That was Altaїr's fight and Altaїr was grateful that Malik let him fight alone. This was what made the difference between being an adult and being still a kid.

»I've raised Desmond.« He mumbled exhausted and his eyes were burning with tears. He was hurt because of those stupid accusations and angry, really disgusted at the sight of so much stupidity. »Our mother died-«

»I know your file, Mr.-«

»Our mother died when Desmond wasn’t even a year old. His father would have rather killed him than care for him, so he only had me who could take care of him.«

»Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad, no child should-«

»Do you think that I wished for all this? Of course, I was a child myself! But there was no help from your people or from the teachers who would just turn a blind eye. We were to be left alone by people like you so I had no other choice than to care for my little brother, to change his diapers, to feed him and to cradle him. I taught him how to walk, how to use the potty and how to speak. I have walked him to Kindergarten and picked him up again, I helped him learning how to write and to read. I walked him to elementary and attended every performance. I dressed every single one of his wounds when he hurt himself or when Bill showed his fatherly love. I know every little scar on this boy. I was the one who had to go to the doctors with him and cared for him when he was sick. And yes, we slept in the same bed and we bathed together. All four of us did. You can't even imagine how the nights in his hellhole had been.«

»I do understand that, but this doesn't answer the question why he still does such things.«

He was stunned. »Desmond is like my own son. You cannot honestly believe I would do something to him after all I've gone through to protect those boys from this monster! Desmond is still a child and he doesn't understand those things. He is used to bathing with me and if it makes him happy and he has fun then I will still do it even when he will be twenty-one! And as long as it makes him happy or it helps him to sleep in my bed, then he still can do this even when he will have his own children!«

»Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad, I am very sure that I don’t have to tell you that there are many examples from real fathers out there who-«

Malik only produced an angry and very deep growl and Altaїr didn’t even know if he should cry or laugh. All he could do was leaning his forehead against his hand in a pity attempt to collect himself. »I think … if it weren't for me being gay, those accusations would probably not even exist. Am I right?«

»Pardon? I assure you that those accusations haven't anything to do with your _preferences_ , Mr.-«

»But they do, it seems. You wouldn’t dwell otherwise on the fact that Desmond sleeps sometimes in my bed and that Malik is in fact also there.«

»Surely you understand that the youth welfare office has to have an eye on situations like this especially if there is some other man involved who isn't related to the children in any way whatsoever.«

»I would rather cut it at this point.« Altaїr whispered finally. »You know as well as I, that those kids will be making their testimonies under the supervision of a trained child psychiatrist and that they will also talk to one by themselves. I've heard your accusations, which surely have no homophobic background whatsoever. And now I would like it very much if you would leave my house.«

»I'm afraid that I have to wait-«

»You can wait outside. I will make sure that my brothers do what you say.«

»It's raining.«

»That's not my problem.« And with this Altaїr stood with shaking knees.

Altaїr didn’t waste any time at all to guide those three to the door and they stepped outside the house with no further protest, although Mrs. Ramirez gave him some last introductions. Altaїr would have loved to break down in tears right then and there but he stood tall nonetheless. As long as those boys were here in this house he was still their big brother who had to be strong for them. He felt Malik's large Hand at the small of his back while he slowly climbed the stairs and felt like he would try to climb some stupid mountain in search for his brothers. They found the three gathered up in Desmond's room. It seems the question right now was what toys to pack other than _Owlik_.

Altaїr forced himself to smile a little when he sat down with them to help packing Desmond's backpack. Malik still stood in the door, leaning exhausted on the doorframe.

»Do we really have to go?« Connor asked with a tiny voice and Altaїr couldn’t help but softly tousle his hair.

»Yes for now.« He mumbled tiredly right before he took one of the hair bands from his wrist - just this stupid old habit of his - turned Connor around and gently bound his hair into a leisurely ponytail. His hair had grown again a little, but as long as Connor would like it that way it would stay that way.

»But I don’t want to go.« Desmond grumbled stubbornly and looked at him a little reproachful. It hurt Altaїr more than he wanted to admit. But he was right, wasn’t here? He had failed them. Desmond was right being angry with him. Ezio was completely silent while he still packed the things for Desmond. His and Connor's bags were already by the door.

»I don’t want you to go either. But it is only for a month and then we will see each other again. It will be alright I promise you. Just imagine that you are making a vacation.«

»Do you still pick me up from school?« He asked almost instantly and lowered his head in disappointment when Altaїr shook his head no.

»I am not allowed to. This woman said that we are not allowed to have any contact whatsoever. But you have Ezio and Connor with you, they will take care of you and when we see each other again I want to hear everything that had happened and what stupid things Shaun did again.«

It was the first time in forever as Connor took his hand when they left Desmond's room finally. Of course, he had Desmond on his other side while Malik and Ezio walked behind them carrying their bags. Their way to the door felt more like he was going straight to the scaffold. It really was raining cats and dogs outside where the lady was still waiting with the policemen. Well, at least the weather matched the mood. Malik and Ezio gave the bags to the officers who loaded them into the trunk of the big car which was waiting for the boys. Mrs. Ramirez just watched the small group a little wary, but Altaїr didn’t mind. He didn’t mind either that he and Malik still wore their pajamas while the boys managed to get dressed.

Outside the house, under the small porch roof, he knelt down again in front of Desmond to close his jacket before he pulled the boy into a tight hug. It hurt to let them all go but it hurts the most to let Desmond go. »Promise me that you will behave, okay? You are going to make no trouble and you'll listen to everything Ezio says.« He mumbled quietly by Desmond's ear and enjoyed feeling the thin arms around his neck.

»I promise, Alty.« He finally answered depressed but this time without any tears. He probably knew that Altaїr would cry also otherwise.

»Great. Show yourself from your best side, little one. Make me proud as long as I'm not with you, alright?«

A little nod and then Altaїr finally let him go to press a short, but soft kiss to his forehead. Just then he went to Connor. Connor was no crybaby like Desmond and he had never really seen that boy cry often, but he did now and it broke his heart. Connor looked so lost and confused.

Smiling he wiped away the tears on Connor's face before he could pull him too in his arms. The lady was growing impatient but she would have to wait as long as it took them and Altaїr was in no hurry at all.

»I don’t have to tell _you_ to behave, do I?« He smiled and Connor shook his head. »But take care of your hair, alright?«

»I don’t know how it works…« That was a blunt lie but Altaїr couldn’t help but laugh a little because of it. It was the cutest lie he ever heard in his entire life especially coming from Connor. Altaїr softly pushed his bangs a little out of his face. »Ezio can help you with this.« He promised. »And don’t let Aveline bully you, alright?«

Connor nodded before Altaїr kissed him as well even if Connor would be embarrassed normally. Today was no normal day. Today even he would cling like a small child to his brothers. Oh, he would miss Connor's calm demeanor so much. Desmond and Ezio were full of energy and would only do mischief, but Connor was calm and collected and always curious. He helped where he could and he rarely complained about anything. Altaїr knew that he would take his picture from the fridge to put it in a decent frame to hang it in the hallway.

And then there were Ezio's big remorseful brown eyes looking at him. Altaїr knew this look from the night he lost his finger and from the morning after and they both knew that Ezio didn’t have to say anything for Altaїr to know what happened in his head.

»It's alright.« Altaїr mumbled softly and patted his cheek. Normally this would make Ezio laugh, but now he only wrapped his arms around him and pulled Altaїr at his body. Ezio's hugs still were like bear hugs. Altaїr only patted his back while they stood like that. »You will look after them, okay? Take care that they make their homework and that they behave well at school and that they follow the rules. And take care that Shaun doesn't incite Desmond to do anything stupid and that Aveline doesn't bully Connor every time. And please take care that you three are eating right and that you will be dressed nicely and that Connor takes care of his hair. And you better be busy with school, no fighting with Cesare Borgia and if he tries to bully you further go to a teacher. You cannot get yourself into any more trouble now. You understand, Ezio?«

»Yeah.« He croaked and although he couldn’t see his face Altaїr already knew that the boy, in fact, was crying. Adair would love to cry himself. They had always been together from the start, just the two of them against the rest of the world. It would be so strange not having him around. »You'll see in a month we will be laughing about this and then you can fight to all your delight with Malik and you can lock yourself in the bathroom for hours and you'll tell me about your new girlfriend. Sofia, right?«

Ezio chuckled softly before he let his arms drop to his sides and released the hug with a small sniff. The sixteen-year-old rubbed roughly over his tear-stained cheeks and flushed a half-hearted grin at him. »I'll try.« He finally promised and after that Altaїr could only watch how the boys said their goodbyes to Malik before they had to crawl into the car one after another.

»We'll see each other next month.« Mrs. Ramirez turned to him. »I managed to find a foster home which can spontaneously take all three of them, in the meantime.«

Spontaneously his ass. But Altaїr just nodded before he shook the hand she offered to him quick. He was an adult now and he had to act like one as long as the kids were in seeing distance. Nobody had ever told him that it sucked ass to be an adult.

Just after the woman finally got herself into the car it slowly drove off and Altaїr could see Desmond's face in the back window looking back to his home. Altaїr felt Malik's arm around his shoulders already but as soon as the car drove around the next corner Altaїr's knees finally gave in. And Malik could do nothing more than to wrap his arms tightly around him while Altaїr's whole body shook and jerked under his sobs. This was the day he had feared the most all those last months, the day his little stupid bubble finally burst. And no one could have prepared him for how much it hurts.


	9. this is war

Ezio was lying in the dark in a foreign bed, staring up at a foreign ceiling. It was his fault that he now had to lay here, no matter what Altaїr would say. They both knew that this was the truth. If he would have himself better under control, he would lay now in his own bed and not here. Ezio spent the last few nights listening to the noises of this house, trying to make out a pattern of some sort which just did not seem to exist really. They weren't bad people, these Millers. They were a middle-aged couple which never had kids of their own and would fill in now and then for the youth welfare office as a foster home.

It was a big house with just enough rooms that Ezio as a teenager did not have to share a room with his younger brothers. For now, they were the only three foster kids living here and Ezio liked that very much, although he would rather sleep in the same room as his brothers just like back then. It wasn’t just that he was so much used to it that made him miss it, but this very deep sitting worry that something could happen to the boys while he wasn’t around. Ezio knew it was stupid but he couldn’t fight it either and he wondered if this was the same worry that Altaїr had gone through every day. Now that Altaїr wasn’t here, it was him who had to take care of the other two and Ezio had no fucking clue if he would be able to do the same things like Altaїr.

Would he have been able to step in Bill's way in _that night_ although he wasn’t guilty of anything? Would he have been able to let Bill nearly kill him and let him cut off his finger because of his stupid younger brother? And would he have been able to go on after all this like nothing had happened at all?

Ezio couldn’t say that his bad conscience vanished in some way, no, quite the contrary. It just became worse and worse with every day and especially now while he was lying here just because he wasn’t able to control himself any better. Let alone today had strained Ezio more than he would like to admit. He would have liked the new school very much if it wasn’t for Cesare Borgia going on his nerves every day.

Outside his window, the thick blackness of night ruled already and it had been a few minutes since Ezio had heard the closing of a door for the last time. He guessed it had been the master bedroom door which meant that the Millers were now going to sleep. He probably should also try that, but like all the other nights before he simply couldn’t come to rest. He would love to just stand up again and creep into his brothers' room to sleep there. He was quite sure that he would be able to find rest there engulfed in the familiarity of their noises: of Connor who would mumble something in his sleep and of Desmond who would turn and toss so loudly in his bed, kicking the covers and his pillows off. And he missed Altaїr's low humming when one of them nudged his elbow into his ribs again - mostly it was Ezio who did this.

In fact, he was just about to push back his covers and to leave his room as his own door opened slowly with a little squeak. The hallway was as dark as his room, but he did not need any light to know who it was pushing their curious little noses inside. "Come on in you two." He mumbled softly while sliding up to the wall to make room for his brothers. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who had trouble finding sleep.

Ezio did not like how things were going at the moment. Connor had not yet spoken a word to their foster parents and every time they would ask him something he just would nod or shook his head or would look up to Ezio with his gigantic eyes. Even the lively Desmond was quieter now, maybe because the Millers did not seem to handle boys like him very well.

Ezio had no other choice than to clench his fists in his pockets and to comfort Desmond after they bawled him out. He did it for Altaїr, no matter how much he would like to tell these people to fuck off.

After his words, the door opened fully and closed soon after before small and quiet steps scurried over the floor of his room. Just a second later he felt how Desmond followed by Connor crawled in his bed and under his blanket. "Where are your socks again, Des?" He just mumbled in a low voice. Because he was sleeping just covered with his boxers most of the time he could feel Desmond's very cold toes instantly on his legs. It clearly wasn’t the first time since they were living here.

Of course, all three of them had searched even in their new home with Malik and Altaїr for their big brother's presence - and therefore Malik's as well - but they all got used to their own rooms pretty fast. Desmond somewhat flourished after he understood that this room was just his and his alone to do with as he pleased. For Connor, it had been a little more difficult, but as soon as Malik and Connor had begun to build some little decorations out of the wood they found together even he slowly got used to the feeling of having a refugee to his own. Ezio hated the fact that his brothers had to give all this up again just because he was behaving like a … well, like a stupid sixteen-year-old pubescent Teenager…

"Dunno…" Desmond mumbled. It did not take long until they found their respectable places again. Desmond was lying in the middle of the bed on his back, flanked by Ezio to his left and Connor to his right who both had the habit of lying on their sides. Instinctively Ezio crossed his left arm above the blanket over his baby brother just like Altaїr used to - He did so even with Ezio in his bed.

Ezio had looked up at Altaїr because of how fast he developed this caring personality after their mother's death. Altaїr was only a year older than him, but he always seemed so far away and so high above, just like an eagle flying over all those things and who would protectively cover them with his great and giant wings in the night.

"He lost them again in his bed." Connor sounded like he was already snoozing, but Ezio felt the hand of the boy soon after because Connor seemed to mirror his gesture while covering Desmond with his right arm. Ezio couldn’t help but grin a little while he grabbed his brother's hand well aware that he did not like that very much. It was so easy to irritate Connor with such small touches, but today he did not fight it. In fact, Connor seemed to search actively for his presence.

Connor did not get along with the Millers very well, he knew that maybe that was why he was searching somewhat for his brothers. "This woman thinks I'm mentally retarded." He suddenly said. Desmond seemed already sound asleep because normally he would have made a comment to this, instead, he was just breathing deeply already between them.

"Did she say that?" Ezio asked while hooking his fingers with Connor's smaller and thinner ones.

"Not directly…" Connor replied and Ezio could literally see his big sad eyes in his mind. "But she will always say such mean things to me."

"I think she just doesn't understand why you won't speak to them, you know?" Ezio answered softly. "I will talk to her about this and I will tell her to stop this. You aren't retarded, Connor. Don’t let anyone talk down on you like that, alright?"

He wasn’t good with such things. That was Altaїr's domain. Ezio was the clown! He was the one who would play with them. He wasn’t a good comforter! But Connor did not seem to care that much.

"I miss Altaїr." He simply said after a little while. "And Malik too."

 _Yes_ , Ezio thought. _I miss them too_. But he did not say it because he very well knew that Connor probably understood. "Do you think Altaїr is mad at me, because I did something stupid which brought us here?"

At first, there was just silence, but then Connor finally seemed ready for an answer. "No, I don’t think so. Altaїr is never mad at us, even if he had all the right reasons for it."

"So you think it **is** my fault, yes? Are you mad at me?"

Again silence like Connor had to think about it. In fact, Ezio knew that his brother already knew the answer but would choose his words wisely to not hurt him. "I think … You aren't alone at fault and I think that those people simply searched for a reason to separate us from Altaїr … And maybe I am just a little bit mad at you."

When you want an honest answer, you could always count on Connor that was for sure, although an honest answer isn't always pleasing and nice. Ezio sighed relieved. "I am glad that you are honest with me, Connor." He just whispered and pressed his hand a little bit. "I promise you, that I won't do anything wrong anymore."

And if that meant that Cesare and his idiot friends would beat him to a pulp the next time or dunk his head into the toilet or lock him up somewhere or destroy his things, then be it. Once again he thought about Altaїr while Connor was already drifting into a deep sleep. He knew Altaїr wouldn't want that he would let himself be humiliated, but it was about time for Ezio doing the things Altaїr did for the last years. He would take it all for the well-being of his brothers if he must, no matter if Altaїr would chop his head off for it.

It wasn’t right, what Connor said. Altaїr had been really mad at him once and even if that night was one of the worst in his lives, Ezio thought about it now with a warm feeling in his stomach.

 

※※※※※※※

 

It was 3 AM when Ezio arrived at the door of his new home. He wasn’t quite used to living in such a big and beautiful house, but that wasn’t the reason why he stood for a moment in aw there and looked up the facade. There was just a quick moment when he asked himself if he would be able to climb up and crawl through his bedroom window, which was currently half open (like every night) and looked right down on him. This thought was not just born from his current state of intoxication or his yearning for adventure, but mainly from this one little thought that was slowly eating at him and left him with really sweaty palms.

His curfew had been 11 PM because it was a Saturday night. So he was a total of four hours late. Well, one could think there would be nothing to be frightened of; after all, he was living in a house full of men with his older brother as his current guardian - as long as the court wouldn't say any different - but those people who would think like that … Well, they did not know his brother.

In this moment, while he grabbed his keys, he already knew that his beloved brother would be sitting on the steps, facing the front door of his house as soon as he would enter. Altaїr wasn’t extremely strict now that they were living in those circumstances and he most certainly did not behave like a hysterical mother towards him, but there were certain rules that should be followed and Ezio had broken them _again_.

Well, there wasn’t really another way if he did not want to stay out here for the rest of the night and to climb to his window was definitely not an option in his condition. Ezio took a last deep breath, grabbed his keys firmer and prepared himself for the piercing look he would be confronted with.

It was just how he had imagined it to be, after he had opened the door to sneak silently inside. Well, in fact, it wasn’t exactly like he had imagined it. Ezio really had not thought about the possibility that his brother could have had company while waiting. Just in that instant as he entered the house the light switch next to him by the door was switched and Ezio was firstly confronted with a really grumpy and tiredly looking Malik before he could even look at the stairs where his brother in fact sat.

"It seems your watch is broken" Malik growled and right in that instant some part of Ezio switched into defense-mode.

"It seems that this is none of your business." _Yeah, right!_ What did it have to do with Malik on what time Ezio was coming home? Malik had nothing to do with all of this; he was just the fuck buddy of his brother! Wow, well that even sounded a little bit unfair in his head.

"Good point. Well, then it's also not my business that you're drunk as hell although you are still a minor and it shouldn’t also concern me, that your brother had waited the whole fucking night for you."

"Right." Ezio growled and walked straight towards the stairs. "Let it fly for now, Altaїr. We're talking later I'm tired as fuck."

It surely wasn’t the first time that Ezio had seen his brother angry. In fact, Altaїr was grumpy on a daily basis. But now it was something very different as Altaїr suddenly stood and blocked the way with crossed arms. His eyes were burning with fury and he really looked a little bit frightening. Altaїr was a tall guy and even if he had a lean body he could look very intimidating if he chose to. And so he did just in that moment.

"I hope you have a really good explanation why you're coming just now." Altaїr's voice was calm, but it had this little undertone that no one would really mess with him right now. Well, sadly something like self-control really did not work that well under the influence of alcohol.

"Jesus Christ calm down, dude!" Ezio rumbled while he tried to push himself past Altaїr. He really would've never thought his brother would push him back so he would stumble. A little bit inelegant he landed straight on his ass. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" He spat while he slowly fought his way back to a standing position. Before tonight he had been drinking just that one time and that he had paid for instantly thanks to Bill. He would never forget how he nearly vomited the whole night without pause just to sleep in his brother's bed afterward. So no one could really say he was trained. "Don't piss yourself just because I was out a little longer!"

"A little longer? Are you fucking kidding me right now, Ezio?! We said 11 PM and that just because you begged and whined so much about it and still you are so fucking impudent to let us wait four god damn hours!" Altaїr was boiling with anger. Normally he wouldn’t be loud like that, not when the little ones were sleeping, but even he just seemed to not fucking care right now. "You are fucking underage you stupid moron!"

"I know that myself!"

"Well, you don’t! I am responsible for you, Ezio! And still you run around somewhere, don’t answer your fucking phone and drink! I could go to jail because of your crap! What if something had happened to you and I wouldn’t even know where you're at?!"

"Jail!" Ezio snorted. "Yeah, sure! You are just so paranoid and acting like you are already fifty or something! Just because you never have fun in your boring crappy life, that don’t mean I have to vegetate here myself! Besides, I said where I was going!"

"Do you really think I am that stupid?! I called your friend, Ezio! I know how those things work! This Bartolomeo-guy said you left around ten to hang out with some other people! How could you possibly be so selfish and irresponsible?!"

Even Malik did not seem able to stop his raging boyfriend anymore as Altaїr stomped down the rest of the stairs so he could push Ezio slowly back with each step he took. He really was frightening. "For God's sake would you guys please calm down already?!" Malik had already taken a few steps up towards the upper floor when he said that and moved now forward without looking at them another time. Probably he was on his way to look after Connor and Desmond, to see if their yelling had woken them up. Probably he also was fed up with their bullshit after staying up all night.

"Oh God, you are such a square since you let this old man fuck you! What is it? Is the sex so bad that you have to take it out on me?! Yes, I did drink, what's the big deal?!"

Altaїr ground his teeth - that wasn’t a good sign, _oh fuck no_. "What's the big deal?! You are fucking sixteen Ezio! You shouldn’t be drinking at all; I thought Bill had at least taught you that!"

"And I thought Bill had taught you to not poke your nose in someone else's business! I also shouldn’t be living with my brother and his fuck-buddy just because my mother was a stupid whore who fucked with every god damn man on the street so that I couldn’t have a father!"

Ezio would have reckoned with many things, but surely not that Altaїr's fist would collide an instant later with his jaw. His punch was so hard that Ezio again fell backward to the floor. Cursing he rubbed the blood from his lips. He was about to lunge at him, but he already had a hard time coming back to his feet. His head was pounding. "It seems Bill had also taught you something else, he? What now? Are you going to cut off my finger to have your justice or do you prefer to-"

Ezio couldn’t even bring his sentence to an end because it was now Altaїr who lunged with a deep growl at him like a wild animal so that Ezio could feel again his four-fingered fist in his face. Ezio's reactions weren't that swift because of the alcohol but he managed to land one punch himself. He pushed Altaїr from him, just to use the moment to roll on top of the older boy to aim for another punch. Altaїr was faster; he managed to block his fist and drove his other one right against Ezio's right cheekbone before he could change their positions once again. From that moment Ezio had no chance to block Altaїr's punches anymore now that Altaїr war above him again raging with fury.

"Who's fault was it that he did that to me?!" Altaїr spat right in his face, his own face reduced to a grimace of fury and deep and utter pain and because of that Ezio suddenly stopped his fight. It was the first time Altaїr spoke those words out loud even if driven by agonizing rage. But in fact, these were the words Ezio longed for so long to hear. He just wanted to hear that Altaїr wasn’t as noble as it seemed to be, although he maybe was.

"It should've been you Ezio! Not me! I am not the stupid idiot who gets in trouble every fucking time and who doesn't think about the consequences! He should've cut your finger off! He should've tried to kill you! You should've been laying there, not me! And still, you dare to be so impudent to act against my rules instead of crawling in the dirt and doing what I fucking tell you to do!"

"ALTAЇR!"

If it wasn’t for Malik's loud voice bellowing behind Altaїr and for him to grab Altaїr's already raised fist to stop the half Syrian boy, he wouldn’t have stopped in that moment.

Ezio felt dizzy and … yeah, well wretched and this wasn’t only because of the alcohol or because of the beating. Heavily breathing and with a bloody face he looked up at Altaїr. The punch Ezio had thrown only left another small cut above Altaїr's right brow. Again Ezio's thoughts drove to that night and how awful Altaїr's face had looked and how relieved he felt as none of the cuts had left a scar - other than the one on his lips.

Altaїr panted heavily and for a long moment, he simply stared down at him like he saw him for the first time. His eyes were an awful mess of emotions. Anger, disappointment, hate - but also worry and love he could see and overall standing shock. Shock about what he had done right then and there. Altaїr did not need Malik's help to get up from his brother. After what he'd done had sunken in, Altaїr jumped up, but instead of running up to his bedroom or hide somewhere else, he ripped himself from Malik's grip, stomped past Ezio, jumped into his shoes next to the door and left the house slamming the door shut behind him.

There was a long moment of very thick and uncomfortable silence before Ezio even moved the next time to turn coughing on his side and tried to stand up again. Of course, the whole procedure did not happen without him sputtering a low _"Fuck"_.

"What the hell was that?" Malik did not waste long to came to Ezio's aid and grabbed him literally under the arms to help him up again. Ezio stood on weary legs. Altaїr's beating had had it in it that was for sure.

"That was … well deserved." He murmured slowly and forced himself to grin just a little, but he doubted that it made the impression it should have because of the blood on his white teeth. "And also well overdue."

Ezio was already heading for the stairs, but Malik held him back. "No, come on boy, first, we patch you up. I really don’t want that the little ones see you like that." Without condoning protest, the older man pulled Ezio by his arm towards the little bathroom downstairs where Ezio sat down well-behaved on the toilet seat like a beaten puppy.

"Are they awake?" Even speaking hurt like hell!

Malik just raised his brows on him just in that way like he wanted to ask _"Are you fucking serious right now?"_ , instead, he fetched the first aid kit from under the sink and sorted what he would need. "Of course, they are. When I got up there they were already in the hallway to look what's happening down here. It wasn’t easy to calm them down a little. I quartered them into our bedroom."

"Did Desmond cry?" He already knew the answer, but Ezio did not like it to be silent while Malik prepared some cotton ball with disinfectant and begun cleaning his wounds. Ezio tried his best not to flinch.

"Of course, he did, you know him, don’t you? He was terrible upset and Connor was terrified. I guess I've never seen him like that – well except for _that night_."

 _That night_ had become their common term for the night of the 10 th to 11th January, in which the three brothers arrived at Malik's with unconscious Altaїr.

"Fuck…" he couldn’t help but sigh deeply and really would’ve liked to cover his face with his hands if it wouldn’t be for Malik who held him still in his firm grip. "I did not want that. Fuck I'm so sorry…" And he really was. His little brothers did not deserve to be woken up by yelling and screaming _again_. "Wow, I never thought he could frighten me like that." He then said. "I guess he never lost it before like that."

"And now he is running around outside in the cold and rips himself a new one because of it."

"Yeah, I guess he does, doesn't he? Well, I fucked up big time… I just did not think, Malik!" Ezio was desperate, not because of the pain or because of this fight with his brother – with his best friend – but because he knew very well he had hurt Altaїr. _Again_.

"You often don’t think about what you're doing, Ezio." Malik sighed while he worked on his wounds like this was his everyday business. On the other hand, it was thanks to this guy's skilled hands that Altaїr's face wasn’t scarred today from all those cuts of _that night_. Ezio sighed but suddenly he felt Malik's fingertips under his chin, pushing it up and forcing Ezio to meet Malik's very serious gaze. "Stop killing yourself because of it. You are sixteen, Ezio. You are a child and Altaїr has chosen this road on his own. He knew very well what's coming when he would apply for custody and begin this battle. With sixteen years it is your job to kick over the traces, to misbehave and to check out your limitations. After all, you couldn’t do this while living at Bill's. Altaїr should've known from the start you wouldn’t be here by 11PM – And I am not saying that it was the right thing to do for you."

This clearly wasn’t what Ezio would’ve expected from a guy like Malik, but it also did not light up his mood. "But Altaїr is also still just a child." He sighed again. "He just turned eighteen and he never experienced his youth. After our mother's death, he always seemed to carry the weight of the whole world because of us. And then I come along and thank him by getting into trouble."

"And you should be sorry for that. You really should have a bad conscience because you do those stupid things, but you shouldn’t be sorry because Altaїr loads too much onto his shoulders. You guys did not force him to take the role of a father and to take care of you and you most certainly did not force him to give up his youth to become an adult. All that was Altaїr's own decision. Maybe he thought he had no other choice, but you know as well as I know, that this simply lays in his nature. He can't help it to take care of things."

Finally, after Malik stuck the last band-aid to his face, Ezio let his head fall down and hide behind his large hands. "Because of us, he didn’t even go to college, Malik! Do you know he got a scholarship? A fucking scholarship for being fucking _gifted_? This guy is a genius, Malik! He is incredibly intelligent and he wastes his brains in a fucking coffee shop!"

"But this also was his decision, Ezio."

"How can you say that? He thought he couldn’t leave us alone with Bill and therefore gave up all of this! He wanted it so badly! Of course he never said it, but which boy who has so much trouble in his life is awarded for being the best of his year when he don’t want to visit college?"

Malik sighed again heavily and ruffled through his black hair. They were talking in circles now and Ezio knew it. He felt guilty and Malik would try to soothe his mind. "He could've gone to Boston, Ezio." He then said. "He was accepted by the University of Boston, he told me that. If he really wanted to go, it wouldn’t have been such a big problem because it is not that far away. He could've come home every evening to take care of you guys. Even if he thought he had no other choice it is not your, not Desmond's and not Connor's fault, but his. He stood in his own way in all of this. But he certainly wouldn’t want you to kill yourself because of his decisions. And on the other hand who says he won't visit college someday? Maybe this isn’t even the way he should go. Let's be honest here, yes he is terribly intelligent, but do you really think he would be happy being a highly educated _someone_ who just sits on his ass day in day out? You know your brother; he likes the feeling of being needed." And with that Malik managed to bring a little grin to his face. "And also it was long overdue that you guys would fight like that."

Maybe he was right. "Anyway … I shouldn’t have said all those nasty things. He doesn’t deserve it. I mean … have you seen his eyes? I've never seen him like this before and we have always been together. I always thought I would know him better than anyone else in the world."

"I think you do, Ezio. Altaїr certainly isn’t someone who starts a fight like that, but I think something like that was bound to happen someday or another. He is carrying so much and he always simply swallows his anger. Tonight was simply the time when he was bound to explode and maybe it was something like a wakeup call for him. Don’t think about it."

But of course Ezio would think about it, how couldn’t he? He nods anyway and stood up again. "And what happens now?" He then asked sighing.

"I guess you go to bed now. I expect your presence in a few hours at the table for breakfast. If you can party till morning you can get up early too. Besides the lawn could use a trimming."

"Is that all?" Ezio was a little bit relieved after those really mild punishments, but he wasn’t stupid enough to think it would be over like that.

"Oh don’t worry, I think about something in the next few hours. I am very creative when it comes to punishment. You should’ve met my mother. I've learned from the best."

Well, that sounded more like the Malik he knew. "And what about you? Are you going to search for him now?"

Again Malik raised his brows in that particular way at him. "Are you crazy? Don’t get me wrong, I am quite fond of this stupid idiot, but if he thinks it to be a good idea running around on that unholy hour out in the cold just because he fucked up, is certainly not my problem, or is it? Don’t worry about him; he can take care of himself most of the time. He might behave like four year old most days, but I've seen his ID and am most certain he is in fact an adult. I am now going to do the same thing as you. It will be a short night nonetheless and don't forget that I have roommates so I can be happy if they left me some space to lie down."

Ezio stopped in the bathroom door again. "Isn't it somewhat weird for you to sleep with them in the same bed?" Malik and he might have had a bad start, but he trusted his brother's boyfriend. There might be other people who would attest Malik horrible crimes and maybe he was naïve, but Altaїr trusted this man and so did Ezio. Altaїr trusted Malik enough to let him alone with Connor and Desmond, he let him pick them up from school or play with them and take care of their homework. Altaїr would let them alone with Malik for hours, so who was Ezio to mistrust him and his brother's judgment?

Malik shrugged. "Well, maybe a little bit in the beginning." He then admitted grinning. "It was a little weird to have someone else's children lying in my bed, but they are cool and they remind me of my own little brother."

"Well … I guess you also imagined your life a little bit different, don’t you?"

"Oh let's not start with that, boy otherwise we won't make it to bed. One could waste his precious time with planning his life, but in the end it won't ever be like that. I certainly never imagined falling in love with a seventeen year old barista in some stupid coffee shop. But I don’t regret that I chose Altaїr and I knew from the start what that would mean for me and my life. And when that means that I have to share my bed with two kids instead of my boyfriend and that I most certainly will sleep on the floor tonight or that I will have Desmond's feet in my face within half an hour if I should manage to get a spot on the bed, then be it."

It really seemed like his brother was really lucky to meet Malik of all things. But on the other hand – a guy like Altaїr deserved a little luck at some point in his life. Ezio grinned and left the bathroom followed by Malik. They parted ways when Ezio stopped at his bedroom door, but not without turning to him again. "Thanks, Malik." The sixteen year old boy murmured. "I still don’t like you very much, but I am glad you are here."

Maybe that was the alcohol speaking, but Ezio did not wait for any kind of reaction and slipped into his room.

Ezio stuck to his promise and appeared a few hours later at 8 AM in the kitchen, with tousled hair and much more tired than he cared to admit. His head was hurting not only because of his hangover but also because of the beating he got. As he now thought back to last night, Altaїr really scared the living shit out of him.

Desmond and Connor already sat there still in their pajamas and a little bit sleepy, but already wolfing their pancakes down. This was a nice little tradition Malik introduced to them. Ezio liked seeing the boys like that, like they all were just a normal family which would have lazy breakfast together on the weekends. He couldn’t help but ruffle through Connor's already tousled hair. He wasn’t wearing a hairband and his black hair was standing in all directions like most of the time. Malik was standing in front of the stove busy roasting bacon so that this heavenly smell could fill the kitchen. He did not even turn around when Ezio entered and sat down at the table. His plate was already there, ready for him to eat with a portion of steaming, freshly baked pancakes. Malik simply had expected that he would stick to their agreement and trusted Ezio to not disappoint him. Ezio's heart suddenly felt heavy, but he begun to eat nonetheless like it was normal. Altaїr's chair still wasn’t occupied.

"Is Altaїr still sleeping?" He mumbled between two bites and suddenly felt very aware of his younger brothers looking at him. Connor simply stared, chewing very, very slowly. He looked like a freaking cow with freckles. Desmond on the other hand seemed to think it was a good idea to let his mouth hung upon. "Wow that's disgusting, Des." Ezio hummed, very well aware why his brothers were staring like that. They heard what happened last night and they most certainly know now where the wounds in Ezio's face came from.

"He hasn't come home yet." Malik said a little snippy. Oh he sounded angry. But for Ezio's relieve it seemed he was at least not angry at him. For just a moment Ezio was torn between jumping up and run out of the house to search for his brother – even if he had no clue where to begin his search – or if he should simply wallow in his puddle of remorse. The latter sounded a lot better than to run through the streets like a retard. On the other hand Malik was right, wasn’t he? Altaїr was an adult.

"Did Altaїr really do this?" Connor finally asked between two bites, still looking like a cow … Well, like a really cute cow.

Ezio was right about to answer, when he heard the sound of the front door being opened. He really did not know why, but he stopped in his tracks and became a little stiff in his motions while he listened to the sound of his brother's steps. He would recognize them under a thousand! Altaїr had that kind of light-footed, elastic walk, not louder than the footsteps of a cat that simply would not bother bother sneaking.

"We will all get fat when you keep cooking like that for us…" His voice finally sounded from the kitchen door. Ezio looked up; facing the door from his position it did not take anything else. Altaїr was smiling, but it was that very nervous and uncertain kind of smile just like he was about to turn around again and run. He looked tired and exhausted, dark rings under his bright eyes and a little bit pale. He seemed desperate for sleep. His jeans were muddy – just like his shoes should be, but Altaїr seemed to have left them at the door again. Altaїr avoided looking at Ezio, but on the other hand he avoided really looking at anyone in the room. Malik still won't turn. The guy wasn’t just cooking he was now boiling with anger.

An instant later, as Ezio slowly stood up again, Altaїr's gaze shifted to him. Now that he did not need to cut his hair so extremely short anymore it hung a little tousled over his forehead. He definitely looked younger like that. Altaїr never had trouble looking someone in the eye, but now he seemed to couldn't bring himself to it. He looked everywhere but to Ezio, even as the younger one walked around the table to approach him. Perhaps this poor devil already expected a punch or a kick and he looked like he already braced himself to take it because he seemed to think he would deserve it.

Maybe he was right.

Ezio stopped right in front of him with folded arms and he noticed almost instantly how small Altaїr suddenly appeared to be, although he was taller than Ezio – for now. And then he slowly lifted his amber eyes from the spot on the floor he had stared down at to meet Ezio's gaze. His eyes were full of guilt and remorse and Ezio was still very much aware that the other two were watching them like a cheesy movie. He did not care. He also did not care that Altaїr flinched visibly when Ezio untangled his arms just to wrap them around Altaїr's lean frame.

"You are in a lot of trouble, young man." Ezio mumbled quietly in Altaїr's ear when he felt how his brother slowly relaxed and returned the hug, winding his arms tightly around Ezio's waist to pull him as close as possible. "Malik did have the whole night to think about our punishments."

And for that he really got a low chuckle out of his brother's throat.

 

※※※※※※※

 

Ezio remembered that night and the morning after still vividly. Altaїr had run around for hours and hours through the city, through mud and puddles restless because he was so embarrassed over what he'd done. He simply had not been able to come back home ashamed as he was. That night surely wasn’t a great experience for Connor and Desmond and they never told them until know what really had happened then. But Ezio thought that this had brought them again a little closer together. Suddenly Altaїr wasn’t just that huge majestic eagle who would hover over all things and who never lost his calm, but just a human being. And today Ezio knew that Altaїr did not have hit him because of those things he had said, but because of his fear and worry as illogical as it might sound.

Ezio knew that his brother couldn’t bear it if something serious would happen to any of them and that was the reason why Ezio pressed Connor's hand again a little firmer and slipped a little nearer. It was now his job to take care so that his older brother did not need to suffer anymore. He would take care of things so that Desmond and Connor and he himself would be well until the four of them would be unified again.

No, the five of them. No matter how much he would like it to be different, Malik was now part of that family and he missed that guy almost as dearly as Altaїr.


	10. "not okay"

"I'm okay, Ezio! I swear!" It did not happen often that Connor showed his bitchy side or that he would behave like a twelve-year-old boy should behave, but now there was this very rare occasion in which he did. And Ezio for his part wasn’t exactly amused this time.

"You aren't fucking okay, Connor! Jesus Christ … Altaїr will rip my head off!"

He already knew how the oldest would react to the news. First, he would pity little Connor and then he would rip Ezio into little bite-sized pieces so he could eat him for breakfast. He was almost glad to avoid this reaction until they would meet again in front of the court because they weren’t allowed to have any contact until then. Ezio did not even know if his brother would be informed about this _incident,_ that had occurred today _._

"He doesn't need to know!" Connor replied with a mix of anger and pain written all over his stupid, freckly face.

"How should he possibly not find out about it, Connor? Your fucking foot is in a cast; don’t you think he will notice that? He probably got wind of this already!"

"But that isn’t exactly your fault!" Connor complained and threw his hands in a helpless gesture above his head as if desperate to make his brother understand, that he had done nothing wrong that would need to be punished by their oldest and often merciless brother.

"Of course, it is! I should have been keeping an eye on you and I should have taken care that you stop this nonsense! Why the hell did you even think it would be a good idea to climb that fucking tree?" Sure enough, it wasn’t the first time Connor climbed some tree and Ezio would be lying if he would say that he wasn’t a little bit envious. Connor was the only one of them four who could even manage to climb a tree. Altaїr was at war with nature and he himself would slip already if he would just look at a tree the wrong way and Desmond … Well, this boy wasn’t exactly the most capable athlete. Desmond was more something like the sloth of the family.

Connor's answer was silence and a tightly pressed mouth. He looked like he had bitten into a lemon, his jaw clenched, his forehead heavily furrowed and his little nose wrinkled. It was possible that this reaction wasn’t so much because of Ezio's question but because of the attending physician, who ended his work on the boy in that instant. It was also possible, that he was looking like that because he was still in a lot of pain, but it was much more likely that he simply did not want to answer his big brother.

Ezio sighed deeply and a little annoyed by that stubborn behavior. Basically, he did not even need an answer out of his brother's mouth, but it would have been really nice to have a decent conversation with this boy. "Aveline!" He simply said matter-of-factly, his voice nothing more than a really deep breath. "Am I wrong? It is about Aveline again!"

And then finally Connor burst with a red face and in high dudgeon: "She said I wouldn’t make it to the top of the tree!"

"Well, she was right about that, wasn’t she, you idiot?" Ezio gesticulated protruding at Connor's newest war wound and nearly hit the poor resident in his wake.

"No, she didn’t! I made it to the top alright! Just the descent didn’t work like I planned, but that wasn’t even part of the bet. So Aveline now has to tidy up the classroom for a whole month!"

Ezio couldn’t really help but clap very slowly to grant this poor child at least a little round of applause - he would probably not often get to hear that sound in his life anyway. "Good job Connor. That really was worth a broken foot. I am so proud."

"Oh, come on, don’t act like you never did something like that!" The boy began to rant with a little pout on his freckled face, now that he slowly got the little insult.

Well, nonetheless, the boy wasn’t wrong. "What I did or didn't do isn’t the matter here." Ezio simply said a little contritely before he helped his little brother who tried standing up and flashed the doctor a little smile. The young attending physician just grinned a little and seemed just like a guy who knew this kind of stuff. Maybe he had experienced something like that himself with a little brother, a little sister or maybe already with his own kid which brought him to the emergency room because of a mental success. Well, at least Ezio now knew how Altaїr must've felt all the time when he had to hold Ezio's hand, just because the boiling Italian blood of his big-mouthy brother had caused him a date with a needle or a cast.

"Well, at least there is something good about that cast of yours. You cannot harm yourself with that thing again and you will be the hero of class by tomorrow." It wasn’t easy to help Connor when the boy got his crutches. He was already overstrained just by looking at those.

"What do you mean?" He moaned while he fought his way towards the door. Though the doctor had shown him how to walk on those crutches, his body seemed incapable implementing the instruction. It must be frustrating when on is used to be dependent on their legs and feet and used to be able to run and climb like the wind.

"You see, the last time _I_ got a cast all of my classmates gathered around me to write or draw on the stupid thing. Oh, you can't even imagine how many numbers from pretty girls I got…"

Connor made a grimace again. Girls weren’t for sure his topic yet.

 

※※※※※※※

 

"I'm okay! I swear it isn’t that bad!" Ezio was already on the brink of jumping up from the stretcher. The whole room smelled terribly like disinfectant.

The young man with long blonde hair, who sat face to face with Ezio on his office chair did not really seem to care what Ezio said at all. He did not even flinch when Ezio blinked his eyes at him like a beaten puppy. But on the other hand, if this look wouldn’t work on Altaїr it probably wouldn’t also work on any teacher.

"You are not okay, Ezio. You should consider yourself lucky that you don’t need stitches for that nasty cut! _Criminy_ , what happened this time?" Leonardo – Mr. da Vinci – had not been long at this school. In fact, he transferred to this school the same month as Ezio. Ezio was never really interested in art, but this new teacher had something about him that did not leave Ezio any other choice than to attend his class. Maybe it was just the Italian blood that connected them.

Leonardo was that kind of teacher who was loved by all of his students and all of the other teachers. He had this very calm and serenity demeanor like he already knew every secret and if he already knew the truth about all things. If one needed help or guidance, Leonardo was the right place to go to. Ezio often was with him.

"Borgia threw a rock at me" Ezio answered grinding his teeth. It wasn’t so much his face that hurts but his hurt pride. He could as well have had spit in his face.

Leonardo stopped in his tracks while he was about to press the cotton ball again to the split lips, a mixture of disbelieve and shock in his face. "He did what? He has thrown a _rock_ at you, Ezio? _Dio_ … Ezio! That was a close shave!"

Ezio only shrugged his shoulders a little. "I've experienced worse in my life than this, Leonardo. That is but a scratch – I guess I can consider myself lucky that Cesare throws like a girl! But oh well, it seems like now I have another thing in common with Altaїr." He mumbled while his gaze shifted to the mirror behind Leonardo which he was facing. Ezio could consider himself lucky that Leonardo was working in the sick room of the school so often. It was better to have Leonardo treating your wounds then some hysterical nurse.

With a low sigh, Leonardo stuck a band-aid to his face to cover the deep and stinging cut, before he leaned back in his chair a little with this warm look in his bright blue eyes. "I will tell Principal Sforza about this."

"Leonardo no!"

"Enough of this already, Ezio. I know you don't want to get in any kind of trouble until the court hearing next week, but it wasn’t your fault that Cesare threw a rock at you. What was this even all about again?"

The teacher probably knew already, but Ezio told him nonetheless. "Sofia." He boomed and straightened his posture. "He molested her and I _asked_ him if he could leave her alone."

"A woman. Well, it had to be a woman now, hadn’t it?" He laughed with this warm pleasant sound. Ezio did not have many friends at his new school for now other than Sofia and maybe a few others, but Leonardo he really considered a friend. No matter what happened, Ezio knew he would find a safe haven here to pour his heart out to Leonardo. But it had not been easy for the teacher to gain Ezio's trust. Ezio just grinned a little but stopped an instant later because of the stinging pain it caused. "I will take care of this nonetheless Ezio and I promise you that you won't get in trouble. Don’t forget that I know about your situation and Principal Sforza is the last person who would make you a scapegoat."

"Oh, is that so? But she complained to the youth welfare center."

"Well, she had no other choice back then, Ezio. Cesare's father is a muckety-muck in education authority. If he would insist, Principal Sforza would be gone that same instant. She is really good at her job and we can consider ourselves lucky to have her. But when it comes to the Borgia's she can't do much I guess. Rodrigo Borgia knows no scruple to fight his personal vendetta on official grounds."

Ezio sighed heavily before he stroked a few loose hairs out of his face which escaped his ponytail. "I don’t now though if I can forgive her for that." He then said although he already knew that Leonardo was right as always.

"You really miss your brother, don’t you?" Leonardo smiled at him but only got a tired grin from Ezio for an answer. "Do you still blame yourself?"

Ezio shrugged his broad shoulders. "Maybe a little. Well, Connor thinks that it isn’t exactly my fault and that those people of the youth welfare office just needed a reason to separate us from Altaїr just because he is so young himself and because they are homophobic bastards. I think he is right with that. The little mouseling is quite bright for his age."

"Well, he seems to be a good observer. Maybe I'll have the good fortune of meeting him if he should transfer to this school someday." Leonardo smirked.

Since they had to live in the Millers' House Ezio wasn’t quite to his usual self all booming with energy and Leonardo had noticed this, so Ezio had told him everything that happened in the recent time. Sometimes he would even stay longer at school when his younger siblings would stay in school for the afternoon and would help Leonardo to organize his classes or tidy up his stuff just so he could pour his heart out on him. And Leonardo was a patient listener.

"I'm sure you will like him" Ezio replied. He could imagine this very well indeed. Connor would flourish under Leonardo's guidance just like he did with Malik. Connor was a boy who needed guidance and a person of authority who he really could look up to. Connor needed a father figure desperately and it was no matter if this person would be called Altaїr, Malik or maybe one day Leonardo. And to be honest, they all were in need of a person like that.

Leonardo simply nodded. He was the very first teacher Ezio ever met who did not look at him with pity in his eyes after he heard Ezio's story. Many looked at him like he was some social call, some kid that needed help so it wouldn’t drown, but Leonardo was different and for that it was so pleasant to talk to the guy. But Ezio's little bubble of complacency burst as suddenly Leonardo's blue eyes darted up to the clock above Ezio's head. " _Dio mio Ezio!_ Look how late it is already! Shouldn’t you be picking up Desmond?"

He followed Leonardo's gesture towards the clock and nearly fell down the stretcher. Criminy he was already overdue! Poor Desmond was waiting for him already! Within seconds he jumped up and grabbed his bag. "Thanks. Leonardo! I owe you something – _again_!" He exclaimed while he left the room.

Ezio had met Cesare after school on the schoolyard when the black haired guy had pushed the beautiful Sofia Sarto into some corner to do whatever was on his mind. It probably was for the better that Ezio did not even try to imagine what he had wanted to do to her because then he would rip this guy to shreds.

Sofia transferred a month after Ezio to this school and to his class and she promptly got his interest after Christina had broken his heart so brutally. Until now Ezio had not managed to steal her heart, but he was sure to be on the right way especially after his heroic deed today. She had to love him for that! But maybe Sofia was simply too intelligent to fell for someone like him. Anyway, she fled the scene without caring what would happen to her savior. He wasn’t mad at her because of this, no matter if she was his friend or not because it surely wasn’t the first fight he gotten himself into with Cesare Borgia.

When it comes to the dynamic of a high school, stories like Ezio's would spread fast and Cesare had taken care of this business right from the start. Now everyone in school already knew that Ezio was living with his three brothers and the male lover of his oldest brother. It was clear as daylight that no one would spare him stupid accusations. _Oh, no_. But oh well, there are harder things in life than that and as long as none of those accusations would aim for one of his brothers Ezio could arrange himself with that pretty well.

His way guided him past the school entrance and down the streets. He was very lucky that the elementary school wasn’t far off and so he managed to get there within just a few minutes, wheezing and with a bright red head. It wasn’t that he was not athletic or something, but it was rare that he had to sprint like this just so his baby brother did not need to wait for him any longer. Ezio knew that this wasn’t the end of Desmond's little world, but Ezio would do everything in his powers to do his job as a big brother as well as Altaїr did their whole life together. He owed him that effort.

It began to rain and as soon as Ezio reached the gate which led to the elementary school's yard he was already soaking wet. Desmond wasn’t at the gate and he wasn’t standing by the entry either. For a small moment, his heart dropped into his pants and swiftly he fished his mobile from his front pocket to look at the display. No new messages and no missed calls, but he was thirty minutes late already. Desmond wasn’t a patient little guy, but if he had grown tired of waiting and would have gone without him, he would have at least called him, even if the little guy knew very well that he wasn’t allowed to wander off by himself. So maybe he was in his classroom or Shaun's mother had decided to give him a ride or…

Before he could end his train of thoughts Ezio was already in the building and sprinted up the staircase to the first floor. He knew the way towards his brother's classroom; after all, it wasn’t the first time he had to pick him up straight from his desk. If it was raining like now or if it was freezing they agreed that the little one should rather wait in there. Hopefully, he had stuck to that today like he did before.

Ezio spotted the open door of his classroom at the end of the hallway and slithered on slick soles into the room. No trace of Desmond. A wave of panic hit him and threatens to wash him away. His very first thought was that Bill had grabbed the little one, as absurd it may seem for him to think about that. This nagging fear was simply there, deeply buried in his very being and not something that could be fought. Until now he had thought Altaїr to be a little bit paranoid because of those anxiety attacks but now as he was confronted with that lack of Desmond in that classroom and as he had not the slightest idea where his little mouseling could be, he felt how his organs tried to devour themselves.

" _Fuck!_ " Ezio cursed as he whirled around again to shot a helpless look down the hallway again. No trace of his baby brother still! No trace of anyone at all! Ezio had no other choice than to call Shaun's mother and he was inconceivably glad that he had got her number in a moment of mental top efficiency after they met the first time. In that very moment as he fished his mobile once again from his pocket to open up the address book - still no new messages and still no new calls - there was a tiny voice bringing him to a halt.

"You're late Ezio!"

Desmond's voice was reproachful and a thick pout was plastered on his bright red face. Well, it appeared that Desmond's little world really could shatter if he wouldn’t be here on time to pick him up, because the kid looked very much like he had cried again. Maybe he thought Ezio had forgotten about him. Ezio's heart was heavy now that he had to see him like that, but he bridged the gap between them hastily before he could even pay attention to Desmond's teacher who held his little hand. Suddenly Ezio was very capable of imagining what had happened.

Desmond probably had waited like agreed by the entry for Ezio until he managed to develop a sturdy panic because this lack of his big brother who simply wouldn’t come to pick him up and then he probably burst into tears - probably loudly - until his teacher had found him and took him back inside to comfort him. The young woman smiled at Ezio and Ezio made a little guilty grimace before he knelt down in front of Desmond.

"I'm sorry mouseling. I came as fast as I could I swear. I promise I won't do it again." His voice was just a low sheepish mumble while he kept his hands busy with zipping up Desmond's jacket and tucking out his hood beneath the jacket. He probably would need this thing in a little while. That was what Altaїr would have done in this situation.

"You said that the last time." The little one complaint and suddenly grabbed unabashed for his older brother's face, right for the fresh wound that was lying underneath the band-aid. Unlike Connor Desmond had no fucking problem with touching anything or anyone, especially when it came to his brothers. Oh no, his brothers simply did not have any right of personal space. Maybe they had not need Malik to spoil him rotten with affection. Desmond simply was their Baby and he would always be their Baby. "What's that?"

Ezio tried to not show any kind of discomfort or hurt because Desmond touched him so roughly. "Nothing. Just a scratch. Now let's head home, shall we? We could pick up Connor on the way, he should be free soon."

Ezio would love to avoid that the twelve-year-old boy would break his other food too just because Aveline would involve him again into a trial of courage on their way home. Normally Connor wasn’t as dumb as to let himself be dragged into such things, but this Aveline-girl had taken a shine to him surely. But oh well, Ezio couldn’t deny the fact that Connor and he, were truly brothers when he thought back to all those occasions when he himself did stupid things to impress a girl.

He already grabbed Desmond's backpack as the teacher grabbed his attention. "Actually, I'm glad to meet you here. I would like to show you something, Ezio. Well, of course, I would rather show this to Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad but I'm afraid that isn't possible under the given circumstances."

Ezio liked Desmond's new teacher. She was nice and did not treat Desmond differently than the other kids. She was a little bit like Leonardo and she never raised an eyebrow at them if Malik or Altaїr or maybe they both together had picked up Desmond in the past. This was something special in this nation of the prude and sadly not the natural reaction. Two men picking up a kid would still raise eyebrows even if it should be different. And Ezio knew well that the other teachers would look at them puzzled as soon as they learned in which circumstances they were living in. Ezio would bet that some of the complaints were filed by those narrow-minded teachers.

It had taken Ezio some time to adjust to the thought that his oldest brother was gay and that he wanted to live with another man, but as long as it would make Altaїr happy and as long as Ezio could be sure that Malik treated him well, Ezio had no problem at all with all this stuff. It wasn’t like they were forcing them to watch them or something. Well, … as long as the two of them did not have a _romantic moment_ in the middle of the kitchen or would kiss each other senseless on the couch in the living room. But to be honest … Ezio missed even those occasions after a whole month. It had felt good to see his brother like that, freed from his bitterness at least a little.

"What is it?" Ezio finally asked while he stood up again and freed the woman from her job to grab a hold of Desmond's hand himself - even if Desmond was a little too much of an adult to hold hands with his brother since he turned nine (just like Connor, who did it anyway - especially with Malik).

With a soft smile, the woman just gestured for him to enter the classroom again. Ezio followed instantly. His gaze shifted just for a moment to his brother's face which looked somewhat suspicious. Had the guy done something stupid which now would bite him in the ass? Well, it certainly wouldn’t surprise Ezio that much, after all, Desmond was his brother, so the chances were good that something like that happened.

Just as he entered the classroom the teacher already fetched a folder from her desk. "Actually, it isn't serious, Ezio, don’t worry. But I noticed some things on Desmond's drawings."

Ezio swallowed thickly. Didn’t it start like that in horror movies? In horror movies, there was always this one child in the family who could see ghosts and drew them onto his pictures, whereupon nobody would believe the child until shit's going down. _Oh dear lord, please let it not be ghosts or that freakin' girl from The Ring!_

But the drawings which she spread out on her desk seemed extremely harmless at first sight. No ghosts, no dark figures lurking in the background, not even blood. Ezio remembered his brother's former drawings very vividly and he knew that Desmond would let his frustration and grief out on his drawings. Ezio had always joked that Desmond could be an artist someday because of the traumatic events of his childhood.

After a long pause Ezio finally saw what the teacher tried to show him and suddenly it wasn’t as funny anymore. "Who is this, Des?" He turned to his little brother as calm as he could with a small smile for the younger boy while he pointed at the man, Desmond drew. He was in every picture and nearly every picture showed Desmond with his brothers doing something - traumatic childhood or not, sadly Desmond had as much talent for art as a blind potato with no arms. At first, Ezio did not even recognize the man as a man, he had thought him to be a tree or something, but he was always standing somewhere in the background, tall and a little bit frightening. A darkly dressed figure. _Great! Not the girl from The Ring but Slenderman!_

"Dunno." He just murmured and shrugged his small shoulders. He really seemed to have no idea what was so special about his drawings.

"Well, you drew him, didn’t you Mouseling?" Oh, he hated it to worm everything out of his nose! "Hey look you know you can tell me everything, just like Alty. Just pretend I was him, okay?"

Desmond looked at him like he had lost his mind. _Great_. But at least it seemed to work on him because the little one looked again at his drawings. "I see him sometimes." He then replied and a girly voice at the back of his head screeched in horror.

"And…where do you see this man?" Ezio really tried to remain a calm and smooth façade just like Leonardo and tried to push back his irrational fears.

"Here and there. Sometimes I've seen him in front of the house or on the other side of the street looking up to our windows or when Connor picked me up from school." Oh, childish naiveté! After all, they've lived trough they now had a stalker!

"Did he talk to you?"

Desmond shook his head. "No, he just watches us sometimes I guess." If he would swap places with Altaїr, the oldest would probably have already a metal bat at hand and would roam the streets in search for this creep. Ezio shared a quick look with Desmond's teacher. She seemed to have similar thoughts then him, her face told him that. Her lips were pressed tightly together to a thin line and her eyes were full of worry.

"And … what about that pirate there?" Ezio pointed at the other person on Desmond's drawing which had extremely yellow hair and could as well be a tree or a bear or a _something_. This other _person_ would always stand next to the other guy if he was even in the picture.

"I don’t know if he really is a pirate but he looks like one! He sometimes is with this other guy and he would gesticulate wildly every time he is there. But he is at least a hundred years old or so…"

Hundred years in Desmond's calculation of times would be something among forty to sixty in reality, what didn’t make it easier for Ezio in consideration of the scanty evidence. But just a second later Desmond's big questioning eyes were already upon him. They reminded him of Altaїr every day that passes more and more. "What is it about my drawings? Did I do something wrong?"

Ezio already saw the teacher opening her mouth, but Ezio knelt again in front of his brother to be at eye level with him. "There is nothing wrong with your drawings and you didn’t do something wrong, mouseling. Don’t worry. We are just a little bit concerned because of this man you drew … and because of that hundred years old pirate. You know that you shouldn’t talk to strangers, yes?"

Oh, and again with that look! Desmond rolled his eyes in that particular way only children would do when they would doubt an adult's intelligence. "Of course, I know that, Ezio! Altaїr taught me! I shall scream as loud as I can when a stranger tries to talk to me or if a stranger tries to take me away."

Ezio grinned widely. That was a typical Altaїr-move. He would rather have this boy scream at every harmless stranger that would just ask for orientation than have anything happen to his precious baby brother. Ezio could already imagine him standing screaming on the top of his lungs like mad because an old lady asked him something. But oh well, it really wasn’t worth the effort to cast this trained reaction out of his mind, after all Altaїr's words were Desmond's law. "Good okay. And if one of those men should ever try to talk to you, you have to tell me, okay?"

Desmond nodded before he crossed his arms tightly in front of his small chest. His facial expression had not shifted at all and now he also raised his eyebrows on him just like Malik used to! His whole demeanor told clearly " _Are you fucking kidding me?"_ The little munchkin had been way too much in Malik's presence now when he was still so shapeable. They really _did_ create a monster. "Don’t tell me that, Ezio! Go and tell Connor!"

For a moment he really was speechless. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, Connor had seen those men more times than I did! He told me that. This one guy stands near his school every time he has his lunch break or when the school is over. Connor said that it was him who had called the ambulance when he fell down the tree."

A little extreme to call an ambulance, just because of a broken foot. That was something that normally would be done by overly worried fathers who had to take care of their child for the very first time. Ezio suddenly felt sick to the stomach. "And … did Connor say if this man talked to him?" He then asked and had troubles to keep his cool mask intact.

"Which man? The pirate or the other guy?"

"Doesn't matter, Des."

Desmond just shrugged his lean shoulders again. "I don’t think so. He said Aveline had talked to this guy once to shoo him away, but she wouldn’t tell him what he said to her."

Ezio was on the verge of screaming. Had this girl no parents to tell her how dangerous it was when she would do things like that?! Or was this girl just too bull-headed and to reckless in her bravery that she would act without thinking so often? At least Connor had not talked to that man. He guessed that was thanks to Connor's shy nature, although it would be more likely that Connor would go - again - with some stranger. No matter how much they tried to talk sense into the boy, Connor would do it anyway. It would just take one creep baiting him with the story of a wounded animal he as an adult couldn’t reach, for them to lose their little dumb-one forever.

Ezio's gaze shifted to the clock over the chalkboard. "Let's go, Desmond, we're going to pick up Connor, okay?" He looked at the seemingly alarmed teacher who just was about to tidy up her desk again and granted her a smile even if his eyes remained serious. "Thank you for showing me that. I will take care of that." He promised before now Desmond grabbed his hand in the search for attention and pulled at it.

"Are we going to get ice-cream?"

"Oh, for god's sake, not long and we can roll you around…" Ezio replied grinning before he pulled Desmond's hood over his little head. Outside it was still raining cats and dogs and Ezio was as well prepared as ever - not in the slightest.

They arrived at Connor's school shortly after - blessed be Altaїr's wisdom to subscribe his brothers to schools that were so close by - both soaked to the core and shivering. Ezio had again to accept that he wasn’t able to fulfill his job as the big brother as well as Altaїr would. This guy was prepared for _everything_! It could be a clear blue sky the one moment but if it should be starting to rain like a fucking monsoon the next, Altaїr would always get an umbrella from somewhere. Malik was the same, it was just Ezio who couldn’t do it and he felt a little guilty for getting Desmond so soaking wet just because he had not been prepared for the possibility of rain. Maybe it was a magic trick which every first born child learns with birth.

As soon as they arrived at the gate most pupils were streaming their way to escape the school and Ezio could already see a few kids from Connor's class. He had been here often enough to recognize them and some of them would also greet the two brothers. But there was no sight of Connor. So Ezio saw no other choice than to yell for Aveline as soon as he saw the girl. "Hey, Aveline!" The girl stopped momentarily.

She really was a pretty girl and Ezio knew she would drown in admirers as soon as she would be all grown up. Ezio could understand why his brother was so besotted with her. On the first look, Aveline was a well-behaved girl, her clothing would be orderly without any flaws and always a little bit more elegant than the other girl's clothing. Her demeanor was exemplary, her phraseology intelligent and sharp. Who would think that behind such beautiful facade would lay a tomboy who liked to get into fist fights with boys or climb trees or push dumb boys like Connor into ruin?

Aveline smiled at them as soon as she laid eyes on the brothers and hurried towards the two other Miles' boys. "Hello Ezio, hello Desmond." She greeted friendly and Desmond's eyes were already glimmering. Well, girls weren't that stupid, weren't they?

"Do you know where our brother is again?" Ezio asked instantly and saw how Aveline looked over her shoulder before she made a grimace.

"With this clubfoot, he isn't so fast anymore and I am in a hurry, otherwise I would have waited for him. Maybe he is talking to this new friend of his again." Aveline rolled her beautiful, dark eyes at him and Ezio spared them both every commentary in the lines of _the quarrel of lovers is the renewal of love_ because he pulled Desmond already with him without bidding farewell to Aveline. Her words were enough to get Ezio straight into panic and rage while he was thrusting through the crowd, Desmond still by his hand.

"There he is!" Desmond yelled to get his attention as soon as they entered the schoolyard and in the moment Ezio followed Desmond's fingertip to one corner of the yard, his blood run cold. There he stood, his little-naïve-dumb-baby-brother, his crutches tightly pressed to his body talking to a darkly dressed figure by the garbage cans. Because Connor was standing in front of the person who knelt before him Ezio couldn’t really tell what was happening, but it was already enough to see him there. Ezio let go of Desmond's hand and went into a full sprint towards the two of them. Some would say he was in his _berserker mode_. Ezio was beyond rational in that moment and he couldn’t care less if he would run into other students.

"Get your dirty hands off my brother you creep!" Ezio thundered loudly across the yard and he didn’t mind at all if someone else was hearing that or if all this would soon become a show for the entire school. He was ready to attack this guy if he would give him any reason to - Oh, who did he try to be kidding? He _would_ attack.

As soon as he was at close range to his brother he pulled him roughly by the shoulder, hard enough that Connor stumbled backward, but staggered just against his brother's legs. The man simply stood and seemed not even a little bit impressed by this sudden outburst. Then finally he looked at Ezio's face and in the moment their eyes met Ezio felt suddenly very empty looking at this tallish guy.

"Haytham…?"


	11. mistakes

Haytham Edward Kenway had done many things in his life which he wasn't oh so proud of and many mistakes that weren't fixable anymore. He had caused scars on other people who loved and trusted him and hidden many times behind his vanity and bitterness. But Haytham Kenway surely was not a man who did not stand behind his mistakes or the things he had done in the past. And he was no one who would blame a somewhat bad childhood for those things just because his very own father was more concerned about fulfilling his dreams on the high seas than looking out for his son. And he certainly was no man who vowed to make a better job with his own future children. He was a realistic man, not an idealistic one.

And just now in this very moment, Haytham was standing right in front of the biggest mistake he had ever made just so it could look up to him with big brown eyes, which reminded him so cruelly of the mother of this child. It wasn’t the first time he looked at him so closely or that he was standing right in front of him or would speak to him. But it seemed that Connor forgot him after all those years.

It had been his own father who had forced Haytham to visit Dorchester again just to search for this kid like he did a few years before, but he honestly had never planned on talking to that boy. In all honesty, it was the first time in his entire life that he did not even know what he had planned. He had not planned for sure that Ezio would catch him talking to his brother.

"Haytham…?" Ezio's voice was more like a shocked gasp. He wasn’t even surprised that this boy remembered him more vividly than his own son after they spent one afternoon together a few years prior. And Haytham would be lying if he would say that he had not been concerned all those past years for how trustfully _his child_ had wandered off with some stranger. It seemed to be pure luck that this boy was still alive and did not fall into the hands of some creep after he still was so terribly naïve. And that he was! Haytham had noticed this after the boy hobbled towards him just a few minutes ago. If it wouldn’t be so terrifying, it would be horrifically cute. With his crutches, Connor looked more like a Bamby and not able to stand on his own legs already.

Terrifying. Well, normally he would have laughed for the fact that he could feel something like that for a child he left behind on purpose twelve years ago.

"Ezio." The brit replied dryly and with a quick nod of his head just to fold his hands behind his back. His face remained calm and relaxed just like this whole situation was as normal as some visit at the hairdressers. Not even the loud patter of the rain did worry him the slightest and although his gaze remained on Ezio's face, he was very well aware of those big eyes drifting first to his brother and then again to Haytham. He wasn’t sure what the boy knew about his father, but he seemed to know his name at least because Haytham could literally see how the little gears in Connor's head were slowly turning by the sound of his name.

"What are you doing here?" The older boy grumbled as soon as he instinctively wrapped his brother from behind into his arms so that he could force him to his front. Behind Ezio, there appeared another child. Desmond. Yes, Haytham remembered seeing this guy with Connor already and he very well knew about his affiliation to this conglomerate family. Of course, he knew.

Haytham wasn’t someone who let himself be involved in something without getting all necessary information before. He wasn’t like his father for whom it was enough to hear in which circumstances his grandson lived in to _set sail_ towards America again and to jump to his rescue. It wasn’t like his father would have done something like this ever for him, oh no. Their relationship could be best described as troubled.

"I must say I am very much impressed that you recognized me so easily." Haytham turned to Ezio again, but Ezio only met an ugly grimace - something torn between hate, anger, hurt and bitterness. Suddenly Ezio looked very much like his older brother. It wasn’t even a question that Haytham had already watched the oldest boy from afar in the course of the last few days.

"I was four years old, asshole! Of course, I would recognize you!" Ezio literally spat those words and a small part of Haytham could understand his anger and resentment towards him. There had been a time in their lives when Haytham would have ventured a lot with Maud and her two boys, especially Ezio never left his side. That poor boy surely had thought that he had found a new father in Haytham, Altaїr on the other hand, was even then wary and attached - that surely was because of all those disappointments in his early life. Haytham did not regret that he had left Maud when she was pregnant and he did not regret either that he had left the boys. But he regrets the way he did.

He never learned how a father should be and Haytham did not have now or at any other point in his life the intention to be a good father. At least that was what his brain said. Maybe it had been just a little impulse seven years ago which led him to believe that he wanted to see his son when he was in Boston for business, but as soon as he had left Connor again, that feeling vanished like smoke.

Haytham cleared his throat. "I am glad to meet you again too, young man. You sure have grown a lot, that's what people say, right?"

"What do you want, Haytham?" Ezio growled again, his free hand clenched so tightly in a fist that his knuckles turned white before little Desmond pulled at his jacket, which led Ezio to lay his other arm around Desmond. Despite his broad stature and this protective gesture towards his younger siblings, Ezio himself seemed to look unprotected and small to Haytham. Something was missing. No. _Someone_ was missing. Haytham met those children when Ezio was not yet four years old and Altaїr was about to turn five, but even then Altaїr was clearly the leader, the figure that would be standing behind Ezio to protect his back forever. Without him these three were vulnerable. Altaїr had dug himself a hole he wouldn’t be able to climb out of again by himself.

"I thought I should have a little talk with my son" Haytham replied calm and again felt this look of those big eyes on him, which were digging holes into his head. He avoided looking at Connor – not because he would be afraid to see his expression, but because he already could very well imagine how his face would look like. If the boy could, he surely would run away but this cast hindered him.

"Oh, you did? You thought you could appear after twelve fucking years and could stalk my baby brother like this?" Ezio hissed.

"Do you mind, young man? I have not stalked anyone."

"How would you call it then when someone would ambuscade someone constantly or if someone would stand constantly in front someone else's house?! You are sick! Did you suddenly find your fatherly feelings and do you think you can now come here and take him away?" There was this distinct panic in his voice and no chance at all to hide it and Haytham knew why he panicked like that. Who in their right mind would dismiss a well-educated, wealthy British citizen the custody of his own son if the alternative would be the older brother of said son and his gay lover?

Haytham simply had more pull and he liked that feeling very much. If he would just wish, it would be so easy to take this child with him. "I admit this was a little bit extreme." He then confessed with a small nod of his head and looked at Desmond. He knew that this boy had seen him from their window sometimes. "I'm sorry if my appearance in front of the house should have frightened you, young man."

Desmond turned a bright red and hid again behind Ezio's flank – or his leg to be correct. There was no way doubting the relations between him and his brother because this child looked almost exactly like Altaїr when Haytham first met the boy, even if Desmond was now a little older as Altaїr was back then. And the relations weren’t also to be doubted when he looked now finally at Connor's face. He had his mother's eyes for sure, but his chin, his forehead, and his nose were unmistakably Kenway.

"A little bit extreme?! His teacher talked to me today because he had drawn sinister pictures of you, you madman! Just piss off! Go back to England or where-the-hell-ever! You weren’t there for him the last twelve years and Connor don’t need you now either!" His rage was understandable. Ezio knew as well as Haytham how much misery he could raise upon that little pack of wolfs if he liked. But his gaze rested on his son's face and his big brown eyes. He looked more like a deer in the lights of a truck. He had not even looked like that when he fell down the stupid tree.

Haytham would never admit it, but in that very moment when he saw his son fall, his heart sunk a few levels deeper and he had not spared it a second thought as he called for an ambulance, while the other kids had gathered around the screaming and crying boy. There may have even been a part of him who had wanted to run to him and to comfort him, but it was like always his mind, who prevented him from that embarrassment.

"Well, it has been Connor who confronted me a few minutes ago, Ezio." He simply defended himself and pushed his chin up so he could have another look at Ezio, as hard as it was.

"And what gives you the right to appear on this fucking schoolyard?! What gives you the right to watch us? Did you think now would be a good opportunity to intervene and take him away from us? I bet you already know everything about the lawsuit. Was it you who made these accusations towards the youth welfare office?"

"I beg your pardon, son. That isn’t really my style, Ezio and you know that as well as I. I just learned recently about this situation from a friend of mine living in Boston." He said as smug as he possibly could manage. If it wasn’t for Charles he wouldn’t be here right now.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to show up like this and to confuse him more than he already is, right? What comes next? Will you tell him that you feel sorry for him having such a shitty childhood just because you left him?!"

Again the Brit cleared his throat and crossed his arms in front of his chest. This whole ordeal slowly turned absurd and the drizzling rain was starting to get on his nerves too, just as much as these shivering and freezing children did. "I don’t have any intention to apologize for the choice your mother made regarding her husband, Ezio. I stand behind the things I did and I am not here to hold hands. I am only here to get an idea of this situation, which appeared to be a little bit suboptimal."

"Suboptimal!" Ezio laughed although his voice was lacking humor. "And in the end, you will tell me that you worry!"

Haytham was no liar that he had learned from his own father. The Kenway's would be more likely to be cruel in their honesty towards their children, so he wouldn’t even pretend that he had been worried. "Well, if you must now: if it wasn’t for my father I wouldn’t be here. After he found out about this situation he forced me to come here. It seems the old man became a little bit sentimental in his old days. Other than that I have to take care that the name Kenway won't be dragged into the mud just because my own son is living in some dumpster. And it seemed that the situation is much more critical than I expected after I heard that Altaїr would fight for custody."

"Stay the fuck away from our lives, Haytham! If you try anything that would harm us I will personally rip you apart!" Ezio looked more like some bulldog, snarling and just hold back by a short leash. A leash that was held from afar by an invisible hand, even now though Altaїr wasn’t around. "Unlike you, Altaїr was there for us no matter what and he was a much better father for Connor than you ever could be!"

Well, he had to agree with the boy at this point, but Haytham showed no emotion whatsoever on his stoic face. "But you allow me to express my concern regarding the company Altaїr has chosen himself."

"No you are not! You are not even registered as Connor's father! You have no right to say or do anything and Malik is caring greatly for him! Should you ever get near Connor again I will call the cops on you, I swear to go, Haytham! Stay away from us!"

Ezio looked like he would very much like to jump at him. He looked strained, but Ezio seemed like he wasn’t ready to give in to his inner demons. Instead, he suddenly grabbed Connor and lifted the boy with ease on his broad shoulder, before he could grab his crutches with the one hand and grabbed Desmond with the other. It seemed like he wanted to flee the scene as fast as he could and that simply wasn’t possible with a child on crutches.

Haytham did not hold them back. Every trial would be tedious and other than that, there would be nothing he could say, that would calm Ezio's rage. Besides, he simply did not have any interest in that. But while Ezio was stomping towards the gate, Haytham saw how Connor turned his head again to look back to him with these big brown eyes.

 

※※※※※※※

 

For a while, Ezio simply stood there on the side of the street and watched the big windows of the coffee shop. He already did not feel Connor's weight on his back anymore, after the little one had shifted from his shoulders to his back so it would be easier for him to get a hold of his brother – or so it would be easier for him to cuddle against his back. After they had left the school the boy had not spoken a single word, but Ezio did not even need to hear anything to know how Connor's face would look much more strained than he liked to admit. It was the way he pressed his face against Ezio's shoulder that told him more than any words could and Ezio was already sure that Connor already booked a spot in his arms for tonight.

But Ezio wasn’t enough. He would never be enough.

Connor yearned for Altaїr or Malik; Ezio felt that with every fiber of his being. Maybe that was the reason why he stood here now and not just because he himself was yearning for these two so much. Ezio never cared for the way other children would treat or mock him because he and his older brother would show so much affection towards each other. It was normal for brothers to fight and birch, but they would rather play and cuddle – and fight sometimes. They would bicker and yell at each other, but they would show each other how much they loved each other too. After their mother's death, there had been no one else who could have had shown them any kind of love. That simply was the way their family worked and Ezio always thought he had to justify that in front of other people.

They weren't _normal_. They did not behave like brothers _should_ behave towards each other. Now he did not mind much. And he surely did not mind, that he just wanted to enter the coffee shop on the other side of the street and pull that lanky guy behind the counter into a tight hug. Altaїr was way too far away to see him in detail and Ezio already felt how Desmond became more and more nervous at his side.

They shouldn’t even be here.

"I'm freezing Ezio…" Desmond mumbled tiredly and looked up to his older brother. Ezio clamped the crutches between his legs and laid his now free hand on the soaked hood his brother was wearing while Connor's wet hair tickled his neck.

"We're going home, Mouseling." Ezio sighed. Desmond was right, after all, they were all freezing and Altaїr surely wouldn’t want that they would catch a cold. In a few days they would make their testimonies – at least the little ones – und then they would need to speak to this psychiatrist. They should be fit for that day. But suddenly - right when Ezio was about to turn and go -Connor's fingers dug firmly into his shirt.

"Are you in pain?" Ezio asked quietly and he would have loved to comfort him, but he had no free hand now that he was holding crutches with the one hand again. Connor shook his head close to his shoulder.

"I want to go to Alty…" His voice sounded hoarse and heavy. Normally it was only Desmond who would use this pet name for their brother and normally it would be only Desmond who would look so sad like Connor did in that moment. It did cost him a little effort to turn his head in a way he could see his brother's face, but he managed finally. Connor had this talent to rip one's heart to shreds with just one look.

"We can't." Ezio sighed.

"Yeah, I know…"

It had not been a good idea to come here, it had only made the three of them more miserable as they already were but still. It was comforting to see just his brother's silhouette. They would see their brother next week again and Ezio would do everything that no one would tear them apart another time. Should it be necessary he would lick Cesare's shoes! Christ, he would suck his fucking balls if necessary! He could only hope that Cesare fucking Borgia would never know what Ezio had on his mind.

So Ezio turned at last and just heard dull how the door of the coffee shop opened with a little ring. It was Desmond who caused him to stop again. "Come on, Des, we can't stay here. You said you're cold and we shouldn’t even be here." Ezio sighed and fished for his brother's hand to hook his small fingers into his jeans so he could hold Connor in place. But Desmond wasn’t moving at all, but instead, he stared back at the coffee shop and when Ezio followed his gaze his heart felt heavy.

Malik was standing by the door of the café, a big cup of coffee in his hand and seemed to not even be bothered by the rain or in a hurry to open his umbrella. He just looked at them like he had seen a ghost before his mimic melted into a warm smile. He lifted his free hand and waved.

Malik probably knew that neither of them would move, so he did. For just a moment he stood and absorbed the sight in front of him, but then with one last smile he turned, opened his umbrella and walked on.

 

※※※※※※※

 

It wasn’t the first time in Ezio's life that he felt helpless. He had felt helpless on the morning when Altaїr had scrambled into their room and stammered under tears that _Mommy_ had fallen asleep in the tub and wouldn't wake up anymore. He had felt helpless when he watched the coffin vanishing in the earth while Altaїr had stood beside him, the crying baby in his arms as good as a ten-year-old could hold a baby. He still knew how helpless he felt when Connor disappeared or when Altaїr nearly drowned and had to lay afterward for hours in their mother's arms wrapped up in thick blankets to sleep.

And just exactly as clear Ezio remembered how helpless he had felt when his mother's boyfriend touched him. Ezio never understood clearly what had happened then or why Altaїr had been so angry when he walked in on them. He did not also understand why his mother was so angry. Today he at least knew what had driven his brother and he also knew very well that Altaїr thought Ezio couldn’t remember that day anymore.

Maybe it was for the better. Ezio had seen reportages about child molestation and he knew how kids which endured that would be looked at by adults or even their siblings. He had _gotten away_ even if it certainly did not feel that way. He rather had them all believe that he couldn’t remember that incident than to be looked at with pity. Altaїr must've felt the same way in _that night_ , so Ezio had tried to avoid him. He just wanted to spare him his pitiful eyes to not hurt Altaїr's pride any further.

They were very much alike and so he knew how Altaїr must've felt after Malik had told him how Ezio had found him. Altaїr must've been horribly ashamed, but Altaїr was no one who would let anyone notice, _oh fuck no_. He would be still standing with a straight back when his pride was reduced to a pile of shards, as long as he would do it for his brothers. Ezio only learned about the accusations against his big brother when he heard the Millers whisper in the living room one evening. And Ezio couldn’t even fathom how those stupid rumors must've hurt his brother. It would be just some stupid rumor, some accusations that Altaїr could’ve done anything to harm Desmond, which would break Altaїr more than any rape could.

Even now Ezio felt helpless, just in that very moment, when Desmond sat next to him on his bed and when Connor was lying next to Ezio, his face buried sobbing in his lap. It really was a rare occasion that his brother would cry and when he does he would hide so no one would see or hear. This day had left his marks on the boy and Ezio could do nothing but pet his back affectionate in a desperate attempt to calm him.

He had no luck and Desmond on his left just chewed his bottom lip in worry. It seemed that he had no clue what to make of himself or the situation, now that they were all freshly dressed in their pajamas and sitting on Ezio's bed. Already at the dinner table – just some warmed up frozen dish and nothing like the dinner Malik would make them – Connor had not eaten a single bite and when he had cowered in the tub, his casted foot dangling over the edge, Ezio wouldn’t leave his side for even a second. The knowledge that he had met his father seemed to weigh more heavily on this little boy then he would have admitted in Haytham's presence.

For Connor, Haytham Kenway had been just a vague idea, some guy that simply existed somewhere, but he never knew more about him than his name. Ezio felt the very same way and he couldn’t even imagine how he would react if Giovanni Auditore would ever dare to confront him. Connor was angry and desperate and sad and happy all at once, too many emotions for such a shy boy to handle.

After a while, Desmond slid nearer to them but when Ezio tried to wrap his free arm around him he just wrapped himself up next to Ezio and dropped his head on his thigh so he would be closer to Connor. Desmond was the only one of the four brothers who had the _good fortune_ of knowing his dad from the start, but he guessed he would rather not know him just like his brothers.

Desmond had all of the good qualities of a hot-water-bottle. He was warm, soft and cuddly and he always knew where his closeness was needed most because Connor seemed to calm down a little when he felt Desmond's head against his own.

Actually, Ezio couldn’t even be mad at Haytham for leaving his mother. He would have left her sooner or later either way and maybe it would have been harder for Connor to get to know him before. Other than that there was the possibility that there wouldn’t be a Desmond if he wouldn’t have left Maud and who should comfort then Altaїr, Connor or even Ezio himself?

After a while in which they just sat like that there was a knock at Ezio's door. Tiredly he turned his head towards the sound just as the door opened and Mrs. Miller's head appeared just to open the door fully, her face irritated by the view. She seemed to need a moment to get a hold at herself again and Ezio did not even want to know what she was thinking this time. She was a little, somewhat plump woman with mouse-brown hair. She wasn’t a beauty for sure, but she wasn’t ugly either. She was more like a wallflower, a woman that wouldn’t stick out from the masses.

"It's time for bed now boys." She said with her little somewhat squeaky voice that let Ezio clench his jaw.

"They will sleep here tonight." He simply announced as there was a small hiccup from Connor. They did not even bother telling the couple what had happened, but they weren’t interested either and Connor still wouldn’t speak to them. Just from the start, Connor had not felt comfortable around them, especially when it came to Mr. Miller.

Mrs. Miller pressed her lips into a thin line. "That is not possible, Ezio. You all have your own beds and you shall sleep in them. You guys are much too old to share a bed. It doesn’t surprise me much really that the youth welfare office was concerned about your behavior."

Ezio was boiling with rage again. He wanted to scream at her or to tackle her to the ground, but instead he just took a deep breath to swallow his anger. Softly he clasped his hand on Desmond's shoulder and the boy understood that now wasn’t the appropriate time to protest. Just Connor seemed to disagree while Desmond already left the room.

"Connor it is time to sleep now." Like every god damn time when this woman would speak to his brother, she would do it very slow and loud just like she thought she would really talk to someone mentally disabled and like she thought that would be the appropriate way to speak to _those people_. But Connor only wrapped his thin arms tightly around Ezio's waist and hid behind him as best he could. It couldn’t be just the stress of today's events that led the boy to cling so much to his older brother, Ezio was sure of that but he couldn’t name the problem yet.

"Connor…" He sighed softly and stroked his long bangs out of his face.

"No!" The twelve-year-old boy moaned for the first time in that woman's presence. They all were bullheaded, that was nothing new really, and so Ezio had no other choice than to free himself from his brother with softly used violence and to simply lift him again. Connor might be twelve already, but it wasn’t much of a problem for Ezio to carry the guy if necessary. But he had not expected Connor to fight him and that he would try to escape his arms to crawl back into his bed.

"What's wrong with you Connor?" Ezio sighed again. It was a strain to hold him when he was flailing like a fish, but Connor did not even look at him. He seemed to be angry with him, but in that moment he really looked more like a small child which did not know how to handle all his feelings which would drown him so easily. He looked so small and fragile in that moment. Something was definitely wrong other than the thing with Haytham. Something bothered the small guy but Connor war really good to keep things under his hat.

"I don’t want to." The twelve years old boy whined and Ezio just leaned his chin onto his head now that he got a hold on him.

"If you can't sleep or if you are frightened you can always come back to me, okay? But you have to try at least to sleep in your own bed." Ezio wasn’t used to Connor behaving like that. Connor might be shy but he was also very reasonable for the most time. Desmond would behave like that, yes, but not Connor. He couldn’t help but to thank all gods when Connor then slowly nodded and proved mercy with his brother.

Ezio had to carry him nonetheless because Connor clung to him like a little monkey and he did his best to ignore Mrs. Miller's look. What he couldn’t ignore that much was when he would hear Mrs. Miller and her husband talk about how mollycoddled the boys were. He couldn’t deny that his brothers were more sensitive than other boys, but he also did not want to change that.

Ezio worked his way across the narrow hallway towards the door of the nursery two doors down. Desmond was already lying in his bed on the right-hand side of the room, _Owlik_ tightly pressed against him and covered under his blanket when Ezio walked in. He aimed for Connor's bed on the other side of the room and it surprisingly did not cost him any effort whatsoever to get Connor to crawl into his bed. After he tucked him in he stopped for just a moment. "Try to sleep Mouseling. But if it won't work I am only two doors away, alright?"

Connor nodded, but he still avoided to look at Ezio and just tried to hide under his blanket. Ezio left the room with a strange feeling in his belly, but he turned off the light and closed the door behind him nonetheless. He noticed his foster mother instantly still standing in the hallway, but he just walked passed her with a small sigh.

"You know, boy, homosexuality is a choice you can make for your own." Just that small stupid sentence made Ezio stop by his door. "Just because your brother had lost his way it doesn’t mean that you have to do the same thing, just because some people would say it would lie in your DNA."

Ezio gritted his teeth and it cost him all effort to not scream. He was also strained by this day. First the fight with Cesare and the wound on his lips which would certainly leave him with a scar similar to his brother's, then this incident with Desmond and the meeting with Haytham Kenway. It was too much to handle for him, too much for a sixteen-year-old boy to handle alone and this small comment pulled on his nerves more than he would care to admit. It surely wasn’t the first time he would hear something like that.

"Thanks for the tip." He just replied clenching his jaw and vanished into his room where he almost instantly leaned back against his door. He just wanted to scream and cry. It wasn’t the first time, that this woman would have made comments like that, but Ezio was tired of swallowing his anger. She was one of those bitter housewives who simply couldn’t accept the fact that she had only been married because of what people would say and was now chained in marriage to a gay guy. That was the reason why she had no children of her own because her husband liked to search for his amusement somewhere else. Ezio wasn’t dumb and he had eyes to see how the things were handled here. He had been sure quite early that Mr. Miller was into guys – into _young guys_ like it seemed – only because of the way he sometimes would look at Ezio. But that wasn’t what worried him.

It was the way he would go near Desmond when he wasn’t scolding the poor guy and it was the way he sometimes would pet Connor's head though the boy was afraid of him.

It took him a moment before Ezio slowly walked towards his window after he turned off the light and stared outside. Did he just imagine things after a stressful day or was there really a figure standing on the other side of the road covered with an umbrella and was looking up to his window?


	12. the runaways

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mentions of child molestation

Ezio did not know what he had expected as he lied in his bed and was staring at the ceiling. He couldn’t find rest. Was Haytham still out there and stared up at his window? He could say whatever he wanted, he wouldn’t stand there like a madman if he had not feelings of any sort for Connor, no matter what the guy would like to feel or say. Ezio still remembered the afternoons when they had gone to the park so many years ago. His mother had laughed and they had appeared like any other normal family. Ezio was insanely sad when Haytham dumped his mother so brutally and Altaїr had felt the same way, no matter what he said or did.

All four of them had _daddy issues_ some would say, maybe that was the reason why Altaїr had fallen for a guy who was ten years older than him. Altaїr needed a guy he can trust and rely on, who would guide him, not another child he had to take care of but someone who would pull Altaїr into a hug and comfort him if it was necessary. Altaїr was a strong guy; he was no sissy-boy who would cry in a strong man's arms, he _was_ the strong guy. Altaїr often seemed unbreakable to Ezio and he would never admit to those feelings. But oh well, those thoughts did not help to get him to sleep.

He threw himself on his side again and fished for his mobile. The light of the display blinded him just for a moment after he pressed the little lock/unlock button on the side of the thing. Midnight. Well, there was another school day waiting for him and Ezio just couldn’t find sleep even if his life would depend on it! It was just like with Altaїr who would only sleep when absolutely necessary, but unlike Altaїr, Ezio enjoyed sleeping very much! With a low sigh, he crawled out of his bed and walked towards the window. No trace of Haytham in the dark just now but Ezio would really doubt his mindset if he would be standing there still.

Ezio had hoped that Connor would come to him because then he wouldn’t have trouble finding sleep, that was for sure and then Ezio wouldn’t need to embarrass himself with visiting their room. He couldn’t help it. If he really wanted to sleep that night to survive another day in school he had to leap over his own shadow and creep into the nursery it seemed.

Altaїr did the same back at Bill's and he had startle Ezio every time with that, after all, they both weren't children anymore and Ezio's old bed was even smaller than the one Altaїr used to sleep in. One of them would always take a knee to the kidneys or an elbow to the ribs whilst he tried to cuddle, but Ezio never really cared, because he always knew his brother wouldn’t come without reason and it had felt good to be his support in that way. Altaїr always had this habit to simply not sleep. He would sleep maybe four hours per night and would be still more energetic than everyone else and Ezio never asked for his reasons not to sleep. Altaїr would be always on guard back at Bill's. He would always lay awake in his bed and just listened while he would read some really clever book to exercise his already huge brain. He would only find sleep when all of them would be together and if the door would be locked. And sometimes he simply passed out on the sofa or his bedroom floor whilst playing with Desmond and would sleep until the next morning. As long as Ezio could remember Altaїr always seemed exhausted and tired if he would catch him at the right moment when the house was silent.

For just one second he thought about the possibility that Connor maybe did not dare to come for him. Ezio couldn’t forget those sad eyes he flashed at him this day. It simply was not possible that the little guy would sleep peacefully after a day like that. Connor had not even looked like that when they had to leave Altaїr, probably because he was so certain that they would come back in time. On the other hand, Ezio couldn’t deny that Connor was behaving differently in the last couple of days. He often was a little aggressive or angry over something, but he wouldn’t tell him what it was and Ezio simply blamed the Millers for it.

And especially after today's events Connor had all the right to be angry at the whole wide world, even angry with Ezio for he had chased his father away - even if Haytham would never let himself be chased away. When Ezio now thought about it, it had not been fair to drag Connor away from this man without granting him the chance of proper talking with the guy, but Ezio doubted that it had been the last time they would see Haytham and next time Ezio would let them talk for sure.

He did not even think in that moment, that he would need the help of Connor's father sooner than he could ever imagine, while he was stepping out his bedroom and onto the narrow hallway. The house was quiet and Ezio did not need any light to spot the nursery's door, even though they were living only for three weeks here now. On the other hand, three weeks could feel like three years that he had learned by now.

Ezio wasn’t in a hurry while he wandered down the hallway and he wasn’t also in a hurry when he opened the door quietly to not startle the boys, should they be asleep. He was quite sure to find either Desmond's or Connor's bed empty because one or the other would sleep in the other's bed. What he did not expect were the low sounds the moment he opened the door. There were a little sobbing noise and a low, deep moan. This sure as hell was not the voice of one of his brothers. Ezio reacted faster than he could think. His hand pushed down on the light switch and soon the lamp of the ceiling flooded the room with bright light.

What unfolded before his eyes was even worse than all nightmares he could think of. Desmond was still lying in his bed seemingly sound asleep, but therefore Ezio spotted the bulky form of Mr. Miller right next to Connor who till was deeply buried under his blanket. Mr. Miller jumped out of the bed as soon as the light was turned on and stared with a grimace of panic into the face of the half Italian-boy in front of him.

This time, Ezio wouldn’t let himself be stopped by anyone at all, as he saw how the guy was standing there in the middle of the room. With a loud and deep growl, Ezio jumped for the guy and tackled him to the ground just by the help of his weight. The loud bounce and the sound of the heavy growl startled Desmond, but Ezio did not even think of him as he thundered his balled fist in the meaty face of the man under him. Mr. Miller was haggard like his wife, unsuspicious and surely not as unattractive as some would say with his bulky stature. Would the guy be in any better shape it would be no problem whatsoever for him to beat Ezio to a bloody pulp, if he wanted to.

But Ezio had the advantage of shock on his side and his unruly rage which made it impossible for Mr. Miller to fight back against the teenager, while Ezio's fist pushed again down into his face. He did not mind that his own knuckles were already bloody and that the nose of the guy had made a loud crack a few seconds ago. Ezio was unstoppable, not even to stop by Desmond's panicked shouting.

Not until Mrs. Miller stormed into the room to pull the raging boy with a loud screeching sound from her husband the intoxications of rage and adrenaline slowly vanished. Breathing quite heavily, Ezio stayed kneeling on the floor next to Connor's bed and watched like a beast how the woman took care of her husband.

"You are insane!" She screamed in Ezio's general direction. "Did you try to kill him?!"

Ezio did not even think about his answer while he stood up with shaking knees again and wiped his bloody hands on his shirt. "Yes." Was all he could manage to breathe out before he slowly let his gaze shift to Desmond. The boy looked white as a sheet and with big eyes full of horror to his brother. It was impossible to say if he was afraid of Ezio or just because the things he had just witnessed.

"I'm calling the police!" Their foster mother screamed furious while she helped her husband to get back to his feet and tried to save him from the room, away from the beast which had surely do more than just broken his nose. Ezio never felt more alive when he heard the crack of his nose, but now that it was over, he felt the stinging pain of fear which her words caused. He had not been able to control himself again. _Fuck_.

"Yeah, you do that. Do it and say them that your sick creepy husband molested my brother!" His voice could as well, echo in the whole neighborhood, but Ezio did not refrain. She knew as well as he what had happened in here that was for sure. Not before the Millers fled the room and threw the door shut behind them, Ezio turned to Connor's bed. The boy did not even move in the last few minutes, but Ezio could see his shaking form underneath the blanket and sat down carefully on the bed.

There was it again, this horrifying helplessness and nonetheless he pulled the blanket from Connor's head just to be confronted by big eyes. Connor's look could break his heart easily – again. But at least the boy allowed Ezio to hug him, as soon as the older pulled back the blanket more. It was impossible to say what the guy did to him and Ezio wouldn’t dare to ask. He felt like falling into a hole without hope to ever reach the bottom. He failed again.

"Put some clothes on Desmond." Ezio croaked finally and he would not deal with any protest right now, even if he knew Desmond would not even dare to. Suddenly, the memory of that one afternoon was there again, when his mother's boyfriend had leaned over him like a sinister shadow and pulled down his pants and suddenly Ezio knew how Altaїr must have felt back then. He remembered the way the guy had looked at him and suddenly he could think of nothing else but what he was ready to give to swap places with Connor. He would have endured anything Mr. Miller could have thought of in his sick head. Ezio was sure it had not been the first time.

Suddenly, Ezio understood why Connor was so angry in the recent time even though the boy had done everything to look and act _normal_. Connor was one of those children who would bottle everything up until he would simply explode.

It did not take long until he felt Desmond's hand pulling at his shirt. He looked like he would love to crawl into his bed with them just like he did a few hours ago, but Ezio managed to flush him a wary smile, not that he saw that Desmond was already fully dressed, _Owlik_ under his arm before the youngest one offered the plush owl towards Connor and to Ezio's surprise the twelve-year-old boy accepted the offer and pressed the toy against his chest.

"We're leaving now." Ezio said finally with heavy voice and stood slowly but not without lifting Connor on his arms. Suddenly the boy felt light like a feather, but it surely was just the rush of the adrenaline or his rage or the feeling that he had to protect Connor no matter the price. His little brother would cause much mischief, he would run around or climb something and he got hurt a lot, but now he seemed so fragile like he was made from thin glass. "We're not staying another minute. Desmond, please pack a few things, alright buddy?" He then added and just tried to talk some bravery into his own mind. Ezio went to his own room to sit Connor down on his bed and pulled on his jeans and jacket before he grabbed his favorite white hoodie from the closet and dressed Connor in it. Of course, the boy had his own things just two doors down and Desmond already had stuffed some clothing into his small backpack which he would carry, but Ezio felt like it would be better for Connor to wear this hoodie.

But on the other hand, Ezio really did not think that much about anything he did when he lifted Connor again and stomped downstairs, as soon as Desmond was ready to go. He heard the voices of the Millers from the kitchen while he put on his shoes just like Desmond who also grabbed Connor's shoes. He had no idea if she really called the police, but they would have to go to the hospital that was for sure. Actually, that was also the place he should go with them boys. A voice in the back of his head told him fiercely that Connor should be examined, but as soon as he felt how Connor wrapped his arms around his neck and tried to hook his feet behind his back – as good as he could with this stupid cast – he couldn’t bring himself to listen to his brain and torture the poor guy any further. He just pulled the white hood over Connor's dark tuft before he left the house slamming the door shut behind him. Mrs. Miller did not even try to stop him.

He did not even know if he should think about what this guy did to his other foster children in the past. Ezio folded his arms behind Connor's back to get a hold of him and shortly felt how Desmond hooked his fingers in his belt loop. "Where are we going now?", the little guy mumbled tiredly and looked up to Connor who hid his face at Ezio's neck and did not let go of _Owlik_ for a second. If he wouldn’t know better he would say his brother had already fallen asleep on his arms the way he hung on him. Ezio doubted that one of them would even manage to sleep a little in the next few days.

"Dunno." Ezio whispered finally. He really had no fucking clue where to go to. He just wanted to go home to Altaїr and Malik but if he would do that he did not even want to imagine what would happen. Leonardo came to his mind, but he had no idea where his teacher was living and he surely couldn’t just simply go there in the middle of the night.

All Ezio wanted to do was to cry as loud as he possibly could. They were alone once again. What if he would just go to the police? But then they would just put them into some orphanage for the next few days and would force Connor to let him be examined. "I don’t know…" He added with trembling voice before he began wandering down the street.

"Haytham lives in a hotel near the school…" - Came Connor's voice quietly for the first time during this whole ordeal from underneath the hood, not louder than the whisper of the wind that was blowing down the dark street. Ezio did not even bother asking where he got that information from, it did not matter anyway.

Haytham Kenway was his only possibility for shelter in that moment. After a few moments, Ezio even managed to press the name of the hotel from Connor's lips and thanked him with a small kiss to his head – or more so to his hood. Altaїr was the _kisser_ of them, Ezio relied mostly on hugs or lovingly shoves or nudges, but in that moment it seemed right and Connor thanked him with moving closer again. At least this guy had not already destroyed that need in the boy. Connor was still searching for his brothers' warmth and company.

Ezio put the whole way back by foot with his brothers, even though Connor became quite heavy on his arms and Desmond already whined after a little while that he was tired and couldn’t go any further. Ezio would have loved to just lift the youngest also onto his arm, but no matter how sturdy he was build, he wasn’t strong enough to carry to children. The elegant and surely extremely expensive hotel towered high above them in the night sky and most windows were already dark. Ezio guessed it had been at least an hour since they left the Millers' and after he battered the guy out of his brother's bed. His hands were hurting badly now. Maybe he even bruised them on the guy's bones, but that wasn’t really important now.

At first, Ezio did not even dare to enter the hotel, but then he brought himself to do it nonetheless as the automatic doors slid open for this pack of wolfs. He saw the look that the night porter flashed him right from the start, as he looked with big eyes at the boys. He seemed to think about throwing them back out immediately or like he wanted to call for the security.

"How can I help you?" The man asked from behind the desk as soon as they were within earshot. Ezio couldn’t bring himself to be angry with the guy; after all, it clearly won't happen every day that some children would appear in such a place in the middle of the night like that.

Ezio did not even try to hide his desperation when he cleared his throat and scooped a little nearer towards the front desk. "Is … Is Mr. Haytham Kenway currently staying here?" He finally asked with a raspy voice. The guy just stared at him for a long moment. He was relatively young, probably around Malik's age and seemed not very happy with having the late shift. Not until Ezio's eyes would beg more desperate while he balanced his brother's weight on his tired arms the guy turned to his computer.

"Please wait a moment." He finally said while hacking into the keyboard. "Yeah, well, Mr. Haytham Kenway currently stays in room 324, but I am afraid I can't let you go up this late." He was a little smug in the way he talked and looked at them, just like Haytham, but this was probably because of his job. Ezio at least tried to retain his self-control, but it did not really work that well.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You see very Well, that I am in no condition to wait until the good Sir finished his fucking beauty sleep! Call him for fuck's sake!" Ezio grumbled and if his eyes could spray sparks the guy would be already burning. Into the bargain, Desmond pulled on his pants.

"I have to pee, Ezio…" He mumbled in a small voice and Ezio knew when Desmond would say something like that it was already too late most of the time.

"I am afraid our toilets are only-"

"Are you fucking serious right now?!" Connor flinched on his arms because of this sudden outburst and Desmond's face crumbled more and more into a pained grimace.

"Would you please lower your voice, young man? We are a respectable house-"

"I give a shit about that! Call Haytham right now or I will make you do it you smug son of-"

"Oi … What's wrong here, lads?" The deep voice of a man sounded not far away from the front desk just by another door which probably led to the hotel bar or to the billiard room. Well, at least there was still live going on. Ezio turned to look at the door behind his back and saw the bulky broad-shouldered silhouette of a blonde guy in his fifties – but he could also already be in his sixties, it wasn’t quite easy to say – with sun-kissed skin and deep lines in his face which Ezio knew only from people who had worked all their live really hard under a burning sun. He had a thick accent, but not British like Haytham, it was a little different. He knew who that was even before Desmond could say it. The guy really looked like a fucking pirate even if he was wearing a suit. He had something devious in the way he was standing there, one hand in the pocket of his pants and holding a glass of whiskey in the other.

"That's the pirate guy…" Desmond whispered.

"I beg your pardon, Sir; these young men here seemed to be a little lost here-"

"Are you the father of Haytham Kenway?" Ezio finally turned his body towards the stranger to look at him more thoroughly. He wore a Bordeaux-red dress shirt under his suit jacket, but he had left the first three buttons unbuttoned – like a man his age shouldn’t be allowed to – and Ezio could see the small outlines of something that appeared to be a tattoo.

The blonde guy looked a little bit confused at them for just a moment before his eyes fell on Desmond and a wide grin spread across his sun-tanned face. His teeth were ridiculously white and the shadow of his beard only made the effect stronger. "You must be Altaїr!" He boomed and Ezio just made a grimace. He just did not want to know how much this guy had already drunken.

"Ezio." He simply corrected impatiently. "And I am in no mood for small talk, Mr. Kenway!"

"Oh just call me Edward, we are a family at last!"

Well, this was certainly a way to see it. "Just listen, we just want to go up to Haytham so Desmond can take a piss already and so we could rest for a little while." This sounded not as good as it had in his head, but oh well, why should he even try to talk nonsense? This was exactly what they needed and wanted and Haytham was still in Connor's debt. He should at least give his son shelter for the night. "It's only for tonight, Edward."

Finally, the face of this guy became a little more serious when he scooped nearer and placed his glass on some small table in the lobby like he fucking owned that place. "Something happened?"

"Would we be here if not?"

Edward wasn’t intimidated in the slightest by Ezio's aggressive posture and stopped just a few steps in front of him. "What's with him?" He then asked while he was already stretching his hand towards Connor's hood to pull the thing back, but Ezio took a step back instinctively. He wouldn’t allow anyone to touch Connor and his brown eyes were already drilling holes in the blue ones in front of him. For a Grandfather this guy was obscenely young, but on the other hand, Haytham himself had not been an old man when he met his mother and was only in his thirties when Connor was born.

Edward stopped after Ezio's reaction instantly and pointed towards the elevators. "Follow me, mates. You are lucky that me and my son currently sharing a suite."

And the three followed immediately after the pirate although Desmond whimpered with every step and made a little shimmy dance. Just as they arrived at the elevators Ezio looked back to the front desk and to the portlier who was craning his neck to look after them. The ride in the elevator was uncomfortable silent apart from Desmond's whimpering and little dancing practice by his side, but Ezio used the moment to carefully look under Connor's hood. Dark eyes blinked at him, but Ezio couldn’t quite tell what they were saying. He had no clue how to comfort Connor or how he could let him forget what's happened. Altaїr would know what to do, but Altaїr would have murdered the guy and Ezio just wished that he had done exactly that.

With just a small smile he flashed at the boy Ezio pulled the hood again a little deeper in Connor's face. He understood how the guy was feeling. Ezio had not wanted anything else back then than to hide.

"Holy cow, lad! What's happened to your hands, mate?" Edward moaned, but Ezio wasn’t stupid enough to believe the pirate did not know already where his bloody knuckles came from.

"There was an _incident_." Ezio just murmured and looked at Edward. "Do you have a bathtub in the suite?"

For a moment Connor's Grandfather looked slightly irritated and followed the boys out on the hallway after the elevator stopped and opened his doors on the third floor. From here on now Ezio had to follow again. "Yeah well, of course, we have one, but isn’t it a little late to have a bubble bath?" Edward at least tried to jest a little, but he couldn’t hit home with Ezio for now.

"Connor and I need a bath." He just mumbled. He could imagine Connor would just love to soak in a bath and to be able to wash himself no matter if he did so a few hours ago and Ezio … Well, he felt the very same way. He did not care if they could destroy evidence with that. For all he cared, he just wouldn’t even think about something like that. Hell no.

He noticed the look Edward was flashing at him, but the guy did not say a word, instead, he slid his keycard through the slots of the card reader by the door and opened the door to the suite just as the lights on the card reader turned green. The suite was still lit to Ezio's surprise, but on the other hand, he knew that Haytham was a work-o-holic. And there he was, sitting right in front of his laptop on a priceless mahogany desk and was hammering into his keyboard.

"Oi son, I've brought visitors!" Edward called without any shame and closed the doors behind the boys which slipped inside like ducklings.

"For god's sake father not again! You're killing me with all your stupid affairs-"

Haytham just turned around on his chair when he noticed the new arrivals and jumped up out of reflex. "What's happened?" Haytham surely wasn’t a stupid man but even if he would be one he still would know that Ezio wouldn't appear in the middle of the night with his brothers if nothing had happened. Ezio just made a grimace and he felt like his arms would fall off any moment now. Connor wasn’t exactly heavy for his age, but even his weight became unbearable after a while. And of course, he did not forget the shimmying Desmond.

"Let's grandpa show you where the toilet is, Des." Ezio mumbled quietly before the little one finally let go of him and followed Edward without protest. He already had this bad feeling the two of them would befriend each other rather quickly. But what the hell was he even doing here?! After Desmond was out of earshot he breathed deeply and slowly sat Connor down to the ground, even though he had to look after Connor's broken foot. But Connor stayed close to his side and kept hiding under the hood. It was clearly the first time Ezio could see something like worry in Haytham's face, but that changed swiftly after he surely guessed Connor just did not want to look at him.

"So? What's all this fuss about, boy? Why are you raiding this place like some animals? Has Altaїr not taught you better manners?" There it was again this smug way Ezio had experienced the prior day.

"We just had to leave the foster home" Ezio mumbled before he ruffled slowly through his unruly hair. "Christ … should we have stayed there? I have no fucking clue what to do anymore." He was talking to himself at that point but did not care much. "We are not allowed to go home to Altaїr and we don’t have anyone else, but I couldn’t stay there and wait for this wicked witch to call the cops on me and I couldn’t force Connor to stay any second longer in that house…"

Finally, Haytham stepped closer and lifted one hand to quiet Ezio. There was nothing fatherly about him or about the way he looked at him or spoke to him, but well, … he wasn’t a father after all. "Slow boy. What happened? What did you do so you think that your foster mother would call the cops on you?"

"Because I hopefully bashed all of this bastard's teeth out!" Ezio hissed and dug his fingers firmly into Connor's small shoulder after he wrapped one arm around the boy. "I hope his face is so disfigured he will never leave the house again! I should've killed him for what he'd done to Connor!"

Just as he heard the small hiccup again he noticed that the twelve-year-old boy was shivering in his arm. At least now Ezio had Haytham's full and undivided attention. "Would you please explain this a little more precisely, Ezio?" His voice was still very calm but there was also this underlying sound like Altaїr sometimes had when he was extremely angry. It was this low vibrating of his vocal cords.

"I came into the nursery and I saw this fucking asshole in Connor's bed!" He yelled. He did not care if Desmond and Edward could hear him. "As soon as I came into the room he jumped out of the bed, that's what happened, Kenway! I instantly jumped him and beat the living shit out of this guy and if this woman had not intervened I had killed him! I swear to god, Haytham, one-second longer in this house and I would've killed them both!"

Ezio thought back to that night when they fled from Bill and how much he had regretted that he had not taken that knife and had not killed Bill for what he'd done to Altaїr, but he knew now that he would've never been happy again if he did. But how were things now? Should he have done it when he had the opportunity? What would Altaїr have done? Well, that wasn’t a pleasant thought … Altaїr would've taken a metal bat and would've bashed his head in.

Haytham was quiet for a moment and his gaze shifted down to Connor, who still hid under Ezio's big hoodie as if he could make himself disappear under it. At least the Brit did not seem to think he should comfort Connor or even came close to him. His face was murderous. He might've been a guy who never really cared about his only son or who would be described as caring, but nonetheless, he would do what every father would do in that situation.

"You should've gone to the police immediately or to the hospital." He then said and Ezio sighed.

"I know that! But I couldn’t let them put us into an orphanage until the court hearing or that they would separate us for these last remaining days. And I did not want that Connor had to answer all those terrible questions or that he would have to endure those examinations. It's enough. He had gone through enough in the last twenty-four hours." At least a little side-blow in Haytham's direction.

"And what are you going to do now, Ezio?" Haytham's voice was still calm and deep, just a little bit like Malik's and that helped him think. He wouldn’t like to admit, but he liked to talk to Malik and to fight and bicker with Malik. This guy would always allow him to step back from his emotions and to clear his mind. Just like Leonardo.

"I don’t know." Ezio sighed again before he rubbed with one hand over his face. "I guess I have no other choice then to go to the police and report that bastard. But what then? There are only a few days left until the court will decide about the custody and I don’t want that anything would danger the outcome. I certainly cannot hide until then, after all, the youth welfare office wants to know where we're at." He was desperate. "Altaїr would know what to do."

Haytham cleared his throat. "You are lucky that it isn't just your infamous brother who is smart enough to take care of _things_. I will escort you to the police while my father can look after the boys. The old man surely will like the idea of taking care of his grandson … and Desmond of course. We will find another solution for the remaining days until the hearing."

Well, he couldn’t do much else, even if he did not like the idea to let Connor escape from his eyes. Sighing Ezio knelt down beside Connor and pushed the hood a little bit back so he could caress his cheek softly. "You won't visit school tomorrow, okay? I will call the schools and tell them. Do you think you can bear a few hours with Grandpa Edward?"

Connor was quiet for just a moment. He looked like he was in pain for standing on his hurting foot and Ezio knew it was about time to put himself and the little one into the tub and after that right into bed and this time he wouldn’t leave the two by themselves. From the bathroom came laughter. Oh well, Desmond and _Grandpa Edward_ got along pretty well. "I am not a toddler you know…" Connor mumbled finally and Ezio couldn’t help but smile.

"No you're not but you had the bad luck of being born as my little baby brother, mouseling" Ezio mumbled with a lopsided grin, even if he did not felt like it. Connor made a grimace.

 

※※※※※※※

 

A quiet ripple sounded around the two brothers after they had made themselves comfortable in the obscenely big bathtub. Of course, Haytham wasn’t happy with Ezio's plan to take a bath at that ungodly hour and furthermore that they would bathe together, but Ezio took care that Haytham learned swiftly what he thought about his opinion. The suite which the Kenways were currently staying in was really big and luxurious. The entry led into the living room where they'd found Haytham and then there were two separate bedrooms in which Haytham and Edward were staying. It had not been a question at all for Connor's grandpa to make room for the boys in his bed so he would sleep on the couch. He was a much more caring guy than his son, but he was a little bit special and the relationship wasn’t all too good between the two men even if they were currently sharing a hotel suite.

Desmond was already sound asleep in this king sized bed of Edward after Ezio had tucked him in while the water was filling the tub. And now they sat here; Connor was sitting with his back against the wall so he could lay his casted foot comfortably over the edge of the tub and Ezio could see only his profile. The warm water felt good after that long walk in the cold of the night and he already knew how fast Connor calmed down when bathing - unlike Altaїr who wouldn’t even get into a tub freely when he was nearly freezing to death.

"Edward is nice" Connor mumbled quietly. He would have his problems to call Edward _Grandpa_ or Haytham _Dad_. It probably would never happen. Connor was very careful who he let in his heart and Ezio knew that he was only frightened that he would be left behind again. Chances were good that Haytham would leave him and would never show up again.

"Yes, he's cool" Ezio smirked. "Desmond is totally fascinated by him."

"So he was with Malik" Connor grunted mockingly.

"He is by every new person that would come into our lives and did not use us as a doormat. Desmond is easily impressible." Another little grunt, but Ezio surely wasn’t here to gossip about Desmond now he and Connor were alone. "Won't you tell me what happened?"

Connor shook his head and looked down at the water. It would be so much easier if Altaїr would be here, Ezio was sure of that. He couldn’t do those things as good as his older brother! He did not know how to talk empathetic with someone for Christ' sake! He was the one who would jest and who would say something that would anger Connor and that he did not want.

"Was that … the first time?" He then asked carefully. He felt like he had entered a minefield and that every step could be one in the false direction and his heart slipped down into his stomach when Connor shrugged with his shoulders and shook his head. His inner voice was screaming in rage. How could he not have seen it?! Connor had acted weirdly the last few days. Well, not much weirder than anytime else, but still weird. Altaїr would've noticed it right from the start! "Why didn’t you tell me?"

Maybe it was an unfair question and he did not want Connor to feel like he had to defend himself, but after all Connor did not seem to mind at all.

"I didn’t want any more trouble. I just thought if I would tell you, you would kill him and that we couldn’t go back home anymore after this or that you would go to jail for it. Maybe I also thought that you would tell Altaїr and that would've made anything just worse." That was the most he had heard Connor say in the last few days. So he had kept his silence and endured all of this so things would look up for them again. Ezio did not quite know if he should punch or hug him.

"Connor…" He simply moaned even if he knew that the boy was right. He would've murdered the guy and if Altaїr would know nobody would be able to identify this guy's face after an encounter with the eighteen-year-old. Altaїr was far worse than any lion mother when someone would go after his brother's. For Christ' sake, he would even do it if it would be Ezio who had been molested! You should've told me anyway." He mumbled before he laid one of his hands softly on Connor's head. The boy did not even flinch, but Ezio knew he would react differently if some stranger would touch him in any way. But on the other hand, Connor was never fond of touching when it came to people other than his family. People would try to do though because they thought him to be cute - and much to Connor's distress, he _was_ cute. Even when his teacher once tried to ruffle his hair he had taken a few steps back and hugs wouldn’t be ever possible. It was quite strange how open and clingy he could be when he was at home and with his family. He trusted them and Ezio had let him down. "I should've noticed." He then whispered.

Connor was silent again, but he took Ezio's hand off his head just to play a little with it and turned it so he could have a close look on his brother's hand like he had never seen it before. Ezio did not mind, it was cute.

"I'm so sorry Connor. All of this wouldn’t have happened if I had myself better under control and if we had never been forced to go to that foster home." Ezio really liked to cry while he looked at his brother. Connor seemed calm and collected, but he knew that this was just a bluff. The guy simply had spent too much time with Altaїr. "I swear the guy is gonna pay."

"It's not that bad" Connor mumbled quietly.

"Of course, it is Connor! You shouldn’t always bottle things up. You can tell me everything that happened but don't you dare ever say again that it had not been so bad." He was at his wits end. Ezio was tired and exhausted and he just wanted to crawl into bed and forget that the last twenty-four hours ever happened, but he doubted he would be able to manage that. Alone when he thought about going to the police station he felt sick to the stomach. "Listen Connor … You know that I and Haytham are going to the police first thing in the morning to report the guy, but I need to know what he did."

"I come with you…"

"You don’t have to, Connor. You would need to tell them every little detail." Connor just grabbed his hand firmer but held his gaze lowered like his brother's hand would give him the strength to think about all that.

"I want to talk about it." He then said determinedly.

Connor managed to surprise his brother again and again with his bravery at times. In the end, Connor was still the boy he was with four years when he had run away to live in the forest. He was impressed, but he couldn’t express it, because he himself never had the bravery to speak about it. He had kept his silence over his own experience and simply acted like it never happened until he sometimes even thought it had never happened. He was not even four years old when it had happened but he remembered. And Connor would also remember this night for the rest of his life.

"Why didn’t you fight back?" Ezio then asked. He had not known what was happening to him, but Connor did know that it was wrong. He might be naïve, yes, but he wasn’t stupid. For a moment he was afraid that he had hurt Connor with his question because he did not have the right to ask something like that, but then the boy opened his mouth again.

"Because he wanted to hurt Desmond." He mumbled and Ezio was speechless again. Everything he could do was to rip another question from his throat even if he did not want to hear the answer.

"What do you mean by that, Connor?"

And then a deep sigh from the boy who suddenly looked a lot older and younger at the same time. The sound of his voice made him seem older just like his way too calm expression did, but the way he sat there and how he held onto Ezio's hand let him look like a small child which was searching for his brother's strength. "He came into our room one night and he wanted to crawl into Desmond's bed … because he sleeps like dead every time. But when I asked him what he is doing, he was startled and then he said he wouldn’t harm Desmond if I would be silent about it. I just didn’t want that anything would happen to Des."

Oh, Connor. That was what Ezio would 've liked to say. He thought he heard Altaїr speaking. He wanted to scold him for his false heroism, but how could he after Connor just tried to shelter his little brother? That was what big brothers would do and Connor learned that from the start. Ezio couldn’t bring himself to be mad at him because of it. He would've been prepared to endure everything if it had meant that his brothers wouldn’t be harmed. It was wrong nonetheless. It was also wrong that Altaїr stood in front of them all the time. The answer wasn’t to stand in front of somebody but to search for help.

"You should've told me, Connor." Ezio sighed and laid his free hand in Connor's neck after he slid closer. "I know you wanted to protect Desmond and that you only did what Altaїr would've done, but that isn't your job, Connor. You don’t need to do the things he does. When things like that happen, you need to search for help no matter what it may seem to cost. The price for help is never too much."

"Are you going to tell Altaїr?" Connor then mumbled but just got a deep sigh from Ezio.

"I don’t think I have to. He will hear from this ordeal after we report this guy tomorrow." And he did not even want to imagine what would happen then. This was what Altaїr had feared the most and from what he had tried to protect his brothers. Lady luck wasn't on their side and they could only wait and see if it would be better anytime soon. Connor was quiet again, but then he brought himself again to speak

"It just had been two times." He mumbled an answer Ezio did not dare to ask. "He was so angry because we would always be together or because Desmond would sleep with me. He simply did not get as many opportunities he would've liked, I think."

"Tell me what he did." He begged again as calm as he could, even if it wasn’t easy. He would do anything to swap places with Connor. He would rather have this guy not just looking at him if it had meant he would've left Desmond and Connor alone. Ezio was no hero, oh no, and neither was Altaїr. They had their flaws and they were vulnerable, but when it meant to protect Connor from those experiences he would have volunteered.

"The first time he just grabbed my bum when we were in the kitchen, but then you came in and so he did not make another move. But I guess you saved me tonight."

"What do you mean?" Oh, he knew what he meant.

"I think he would've forced me to do something tonight." He had gotten away just like Ezio, but that did not make any difference, just as it did not for Ezio. It wasn’t less bad and he knew that Connor would be angry In the future and that he would feel ashamed sometimes and that his adventures with Aveline would be just more dramatic as soon as his foot would be alright again.

"Did he force you to touch him?" Ezio really did not like to ask those questions, but he knew the police would. Connor shook his head and Ezio felt relieved, at least a little.

"Soooooo…" He then began before he stood up again and grabbed one of those big and soft towels to wrap it around his slender hips. Then he helped his brother out of the water. He wanted to see him laugh again and he was certain Connor was still able to. All four of them were stubborn and inflexible and that was something good in this situation. Live would kick them, but they would stand tall again. With ease, he wrapped Connor's whole body up in an extra big towel and rubbed his long wet hair roughly with another until his hair was standing in all directions again. "I thought about that Mohawk-thing again." Ezio grinned while he was toweling himself before he grabbed his shorts which he had thrown into the sink. This was just an old stupid habit. Altaїr hated nothing more than this. There were many occasions were Ezio's boxers had been thrown right into Altaїr's face or landed on his head when the oldest had been standing at the sink busy brushing his teeth while Ezio stepped with no shame at all into the shower. But now he had Connor's full attention and his eyes did not look so sad anymore. There was this curios shimmer again.

"I think if you're going to let your hair get cut this way and if you would let yourself be called Ratonhnhaké:ton in Haytham's company, you can make this old skunk really, really angry. This guy is so bourgeois that he wouldn’t like that at all."

And finally … Connor grinned.


	13. as easy as changing diapers

The atmosphere inside the courtroom was very different from what Altaїr originally expected. It was very different then he had seen on TV, there was no jury on one side of the room which would watch his very movement closely and which would judge him in private, as soon as he would lift one eyebrow or if his ears would suddenly turn red because something had been said what had made him uncomfortable. There wasn’t much audience either, just a few law students and some assessors. The hall was also not a hall but a large room and Altaїr guessed that this room was enough for a case like this.

He was nervous, that he couldn’t deny. He was nervous when he had to make his testimony, he was nervous when Bill had the chance of speaking, he was nervous when the woman of the youth welfare office had made her testimony and even more nervous he was when Ezio was called to the witness stand. At least the two younger ones did not need to speak in public. Altaїr never was more afraid for Ezio could lose his temper than in that distinct moment when the judge looked at the boy with the same stern and fierce look she had granted Altaїr before to bring the boy to his knees. And every time his shoulders would shake uncontrollably or when his leg started to bump, he felt a big hand pushing against his back and then he remembered that Malik was sitting right behind him, having his back.

The last days had been a nightmare. No. the last four weeks had been a nightmare, but the last few days had made it even worse. Altaїr surely was no guy who would lay down and hide in bed to cry and sob like a baby just because something bad had happened, but when Malik and he had been left behind four weeks ago he had done exactly that – and he still was a little embarrassed about it. And as much as Altaїr wasn’t a crybaby, Malik was no guy who would hold his hand to soothe and comfort his mature boyfriend, but he did exactly that, when he had lain down beside him and wrapped his arms around him, because if Malik could understand any pain at all, then it was the pain of losing a brother. It had been fear that had overwhelmed Altaїr that day, but not so much the fear something bad could happen to the boys while he wasn’t around but the fear he could've already lost this fight before it even fully started.

He was not one to back away from a fight and he wasn't one who would accept losing when he never got the chance of fighting for his victory.

Without the boys in the house, it had been terribly lonely and much too silent. Of course, Altaїr had used this alone time, but no matter what he did to deflect himself, that gnawing feeling of being alone never vanished even a bit, not even when Malik was by his side. Would it be for the boys just being a few days away on some trip, they sure as hell would’ve known many ways to use their time alone in that big house, but even for that they had not had the energy. Even if Malik preferred to annoy and made fun of him, the old guy had missed the boys just as much as Altaїr did. The guy had a heart of gold, no matter what a dark gloomy look he would shot at him.

Altaїr often used the days imagining what the little guys would do all day long, had asked himself if they were treated right in the foster home, if they would have a decent breakfast before school and if someone would sit down with them to make their homework. Altaїr did not have any information whatsoever about the whereabouts of his younger siblings and that had made him furious because all he was able to do was to trust the youth welfare office that they had found someone who would take good care of the boys. It had not been easy for him though because he had seen Mrs. Ramirez, but in the end, he had trusted those people. He had trusted this woman. She was from the youth welfare office after all, and they were the ones to protect children. His trust had been destroyed again and this call from her bureau he surely would never forget in his life. This woman did not even have the _balls_ to stand up to him and look him in the eyes to say that she had fucked up. It wasn’t even a week and Altaїr still couldn’t handle the bad news. The knowledge about the report against the foster dad of the boys was eating away at his innards. He had dedicated his whole life protecting the boys exactly for what had happened last week.

Altaїr knew that it wasn’t his fault and that it neither was Ezio's, Connor's or Desmond's fault, but it felt that way nonetheless. He knew he couldn’t wrap his brothers in cotton so they would be protected from all the bad things happening in the world, but he tried nonetheless because he was the oldest and he would fight until his last drop of blood if necessary. Altaїr was mad at the whole world now as he was sitting here in that awfully cold courtroom. He hated every fiber of Mrs. Ramirez while she sat on the witness stand and made her testimony while she finally justified stuttering how this incident could’ve happened. He hated every single person in the audience and those students who would scribble on their notepads and he hated Bill's very existence and this calm demeanor in his face while he sat next to his lawyer like he was not guilty at all and like he wasn’t afraid of anything.

Altaїr even hated the judge and the way she looked at him all the time like she tried to scan him while she considered if he was at all capable of looking after the boys. Altaїr felt helpless and nothing was worse than this feeling. All he could do was to sit here, by the side of his lawyer, to listen and to try to make a good impression in this new suit, which he had bought with Malik's help. No need to say that he felt extremely uncomfortable in this suit. His gray tie was much too tight for his liking and made breathing painfully hard and Altaїr wanted nothing more than to loosen his tie to take a deep breath. His hands were wet from sweat, no matter how often he would wipe them on his pants and the blood was rushing loudly through his ears. All he could do was to have faith in the judge's mind and to hope for her mercy. She just had to see that Altaїr would do anything for his brother's sake! She had to see that they were well when they would be with him and Malik! As long as Connor had stayed with them he had not been molested!

Just now and then Altaїr would gaze over his shoulder to have a look at Malik who watched the hearing with a serious face after he had made his own testimony. The questions that had been asked had made Altaїr's blood boil! He never heard more absurd questions in his entire life! And he was most certain no _normal_ couple had been asked before if they had been ever caught by the kids having sex or how they would behave in front of the children. Bill's lawyer was hitting the same nudge as his client although the guy had to know what Bill was accused of in another trial!

It had been a little relief to see Ezio after four weeks again although it had been also a shock when the sixteen-year-old had stepped a little shy into the witness stand. Ezio had looked pale and worried and almost exactly like Altaїr was feeling. He had puked the entirety of this morning before the hearing had started just because of his nervousness and fear. He had not been afraid of much like this in his life, no matter how much Malik tried to comfort him and how many times his lawyer reassured him that no judge in their right mind would take them boys away from him. But on the other hand, he was just eighteen years old! Should the judge give custody to a child to look after three other children? While the hearing Altaїr's thoughts drifted every now and then to his mother and every time he wondered how this woman could’ve killed herself after she knew with what kind of guy she would leave her children behind. And then again Altaїr understood finally that his mother had spent his entire life until the day she died to prepare him for that very day and for the task that waited for him.

 

※※※※※※※

 

"Altaїr, honey, could you please fetch me the new diapers from the dresser?" Maud Miles' voice was more a singsong and she was only happy and gentle like this when Bill was away the whole day for work and when she and her children would have the house for themselves.

Altaїr wheezed when he looked to the right to see Ezio lounging comfortably on the couch next to him before the oldest finally slipped from the couch to the floor to fight his way back up to his feet. It seemed Mummy's new toy had again soiled his diapers. Great! The little guy simply did not stop and for Altaїr it was an absolute miracle how such a small little human could possibly-

"Altaїr!"

He rolled his eyes. Well, the voice of his mother already got a little more serious and Altaїr could already hear the crying of the Baby. He had hoped to play dead a little, but his mother simply knew where her oldest one was located and that he simply did not want to make any errands for her or to get even close to the stinker. But Altaїr did not want to have trouble with his mother, so he stomped – with all his might – up the stairs to fetch the new diapers from the drawer in the bathroom before he shuffled grumpily towards the nursery. If anyone would make the effort to ask for his opinion, the five-year-old boy would say that it was way too much to ask of two kids to share a room with a newborn. Ezio always slept like a log, as soon as he would fall asleep, Altaїr on the other hand, wasn’t a good sleeper. Every little sound would startle him and a Baby wasn’t much help at all for this matter. It was already enough if the stinker would gurgle in his sleep or made any other sound at all and then he would start to cry every time when he would lose his pacifier!

Every time it would be Altaїr who needed to get up to put the stupid thing back into his mouth to soothe the child. He hated this. He did not like being a big brother. Well … of course he had Ezio and he was also younger than Altaїr, but that was something different. He did not need to look after Ezio, he could play and tussle with him and Ezio wouldn’t cry instantly or would get hurt so easily. There simply was nothing he could do with that noisy brat. He was tired of his mother's constant instructions that he had to look after the Baby. Her whole world seemed to rotate only around the skunk. She did not even have the time anymore to read Altaїr stories when she would tuck him in. Ezio would sleep as soon his head would come near his pillow and for that Altaїr was her only listener, but because she did not want to wake up the Baby with her voice Altaїr had to surrender his bed time's stories for five months now. This was absolutely intolerable and he would have his revenge on the little guy someday!

Altaїr loved stories and he loved it when his mother would read to him because he himself had not learned yet how to read! But now he had only the television and the feeling that he would get dumber and dumber every second he would spend in front of the thing. He hated that feeling! He wanted to learn and read or hear stories! He couldn’t wait for getting finally into elementary school next year and then he would teach Ezio everything he learned.

Grumpily he threw the pack of diapers purposefully against the wall, so his mother would hear and listened to the small angry crackling of the plastic before he finally waddled into the nursery. There she was, his mother, on _his_ fucking bed! She sat there with crossed legs on Altaїr's bed, the already quite naked baby lying on his bedcover and tickled his belly. At least he did not cry anymore but was gurgling again and squealing while his mother tickled him.

Altaїr mad a grimace and tried to ignore the smell of the used diaper laying folded on the floor. More important was the fact that the skunk got his diapers changed on _his_ bed!

"What the heck, Mum!" He exclaimed accusingly and looked up at her with the most gloomy look he could force on his amber eyes, the eyes narrowed and his hands in his hips – as good as he was able to with the pack of diapers still in his hands. Maud did not look guilty at all when she smiled at him. She was a beautiful woman and even more so when she was smiling and Altaїr would rather have her smiling than crying.

"Oh come on you! You know that we can't afford a changing table right now." She smirked and reached for the pack of diapers in Altaїr's hand, but the boy just took a step back and furrowed his brow. _We cannot afford this child either and it's still here_ , he thought bitterly.

"Is that's the reason why I have to make my bed every morning?" It was the first time he caught his mother changing the skunk's diapers on his bed, but the deception struck him deep in his little kid's soul. It was already enough that Ezio would be constantly lying in his bed and that the younger one would always steal his blanket or would push him out of the bed or would simply just demand most of the space on the mattress, but now even his mother profaned his bed! Why wouldn't she put Altaїr in a box already to leave him by the side of the highway? Well, it seemed he simply wasn’t small and cute enough anymore. He would turn six soon and that meant he would be a man.

Maybe he needed to begin shaving when it comes to this? Well, Bill surely wouldn’t teach him how to do it properly…

"No, Eaglet, you need to make your bed because it is important for you to learn how to be tidy." She replied grinning and Altaїr knew she was lying bold into his face! So he did what every child would do in such situation and threw an insistent look at the still very messy bed of his younger brother before he clicked his tongue and lifted just one brow. She seemed to get the broad hint and decided to ignore it. "Come now mouseling, you surely don't want that I have to tickle the little one until he will pee in your bed, do you?"

"Mummy! That's gross!" The five-year-old boy exclaimed shocked before he threw the package at her.

"Well, you did this all the time, Eaglet. One time you peed in your poor dad's-"

"Mummy!" He did not like to hear those stories! Altaїr already felt how hot his ears had become, but Maud only laughed at him and ripped the package open to get the first new diaper from it, but then she stopped again in her tracks and handed the diaper to Altaїr. "What now? I am already house-trained, unlike this skunk."

"Connor.", his mother smiled patiently, but Altaїr only rolled his eyes.

"That's the stupidest name I've ever heard." He then murmured and kept ignoring the diaper and his little brother.

"Well, how would you have named him then?"

Altaїr did not need to think long for that. "Hulk! Or maybe … Bonesmasher!" Something impressive at least but not _Connor_. Connor sounded cute and not even a bit dangerous.

Maud laughed again and dropped the package on the floor by his bed before she reached with her free hand for Altaїr. This time, Altaїr accepted the offer. "Hulk or Bonesmasher. Well, that are indeed good names, but _Hulk Miles_? I am not so sure about that." She grinned while Altaїr climbed on the bed and into her lap so he would be as far away from the newborn as possible. Because his mother was still sitting cross-legged on the bed he fitted wonderfully in the hollow of her crossed legs. Maud just smirked at him before she wrapped her arms tightly around her oldest. Altaїr wouldn't admit, but he had wanted just that. He liked to cuddle with her.

Altaїr sure as hell was no _mama's boy_ at all who would cling to her for dear life, but he had no objections whatsoever when it came to cuddling with her. Since the Baby arrived even that had become more and rarer. She now had the baby for her to cuddle. Altaїr threw a dispiteous look at the small meatball that was lying on his bed and looked up at him with big eyes. He did not understand what adults had with babies, for him there was nothing cute about them! _Connor_ was just drooling all the time, soiled his diapers, screaming and crying. That was not cute that was annoying!

Maud remained for a moment like this with him, her chin resting on the crown of Altair's head and her arms crossed above his belly. He was very thin for a five-year-old boy, unlike Ezio who was still a little chubby – baby fat like his mother would say, but Altaїr thought Ezio was just fat because he was always munching some sweets or would steal Altaїr's meal. His mother hummed quietly behind him and Altaїr savored that sound so close to her like he was now.

"What do you think about changing Connor's diapers yourself, honey?" She then smiled suddenly and jiggled the fresh diaper in front of his face, but Altaїr only wrinkled his nose.

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwww! I'm not doing something like that!" He instantly whined.

"But why not?" She still smirked like it was just a big jamboree.

"Because it's gross, Mummy! You really should overthink your behavior, young woman."

Another laugh came from her throat before she pinched him softly in the side because she knew very well how sensitive her boy was in that spot and Altaїr flinched like he did every time. "Well, I had to change your diapers too, Eaglet. Coooooonstantly! Your poor dad nearly lost his mind because you always soiled your diapers when he came looking for you!"

Now also his neck turned hot and a little grumpy he ripped the diaper from his mother's fingers just so she would forget the topic and would stop talking about his soiled diapers. But nonetheless, Altaїr would think about his father at moments like this. He was but a ghost which Altaїr never got to know and he wondered what kind of guy he had been and how it would be now if he would be still alive. "So?" Altaїr grumbled with a low voice and looked with a serious and stern expression down on his brother. "How does it work?"

Altaїr wanted to learn, he wanted to learn right from the start and when there was nothing interesting to learn it would at least be better to get a hold on how to change his brother's diapers. At least he did not need to get bored by the TV like Ezio downstairs. Maud was very patient while she showed him where to touch Connor to put the diapers on and showed him how he could make sure that he did not wrap them too tightly, so that the diaper wouldn't cut into the sensitive skin. Altaїr realized that it wasn’t so bad and Connor actually squealed like he was happy his big brother finally cared for him. It was a weird sound, but somehow Altaїr had to grin and carefully reached with his fingers for his baby brother's belly to tickle him softly.

 

※※※※※※※

 

What would his father and mother say, when they could see Altaїr right now how he sat here and waited that some judge would deliver judgment over him and his further life? Would they be proud of their son or would they think he was pushing all of this way too far? His mother had shown him how to change his brother's diapers and she taught him how to cook when she was again pregnant with little Desmond. She had taught him how to sort the laundry before it was thrown into the washing machine – and that he would check every time if Ezio had _again_ thrown a red sock into the white laundry – and how to use the washing machine right. She had shown him how to iron and how the laundry needed to be folded afterward. Altaїr was always greedy for knowledge and her attention. He wanted to know and learn absolutely everything and his mother showed and taught him absolutely everything and then she decided to die, with the knowledge her oldest would know what to do.

As a child, he never learned how to hate his own mother. She had often yelled at him or locked him into his room or she had slapped him and had watched when Bill beat him or humiliated him, but he had loved her because she satisfied his need to learn and constantly showed him new things so his sharp mind wouldn’t become dull. Altaїr was an awful cook, but at least his brothers had something to eat because he knew how it worked and they always had fresh clothing without wrinkles because Altaїr knew how to take care of the laundry. It had cost him years until he finally learned how to hate his mother in that tender age between fourteen and sixteen when he finally understood that his mother had planned her leaving for a long time. She had known that she would do it and she arranged that Altaїr would manage to replace her. She had decided knowingly to make a ten-year-old boy a father of three children and Altaїr had hated her.

It had cost him another few years to understand what kind of human being his mother had been. She had been weak and she had not been made for this life. Today he knew that there were people like this on this planet. There simply were people who would be broken by life and by reality. His mother had been broken through the death of his father and she had been helpless and overwhelmed with her little son. She had given herself away too many men because she had hoped to meet a second Umar where she was in safe hands. And maybe … just maybe she should have never been allowed to have children at all. Altaїr knew she had been desperate when she was pregnant with Desmond. He knew she had not wanted another child and that his youngest brother was nothing other than an _accident_. Altaїr hated this word with a passion. But he knew his mother would have never aborted his little brother even if it had not been for Bill who was eager to finally have his own son. Altaїr had not known for a long time if he should be grateful or if he should hate her for not abort his youngest brother.

He loves his brothers dearly. He loved them more than his own life, but he was only human and what could happen if the ballast would be just too much for him? What if he would break? He was just eighteen! Altaїr knew that it was exactly what the judge was thinking. Altaїr wasn’t an _adult_ , he wasn’t _finished_ yet and it was just so easy for an adult to break, how much easier would it be for him to finally break down? What if everyone was right and he wasn’t prepared for this task? His whole life he had thought himself to be indestructible, but Bill had shown him how wrong he had been. He just wanted to do the best for his brothers, but what if _he_ wasn’t their best option? What if his _moral conduct_ would affect them negatively? Altaїr knew well that the people on Ezio's school were talking about him and Malik and he just did not want his brothers to get in trouble because of this.

Suddenly there was this big hand again, lying softly in his neck. He had not even noticed his leg bumping up and down again while his lawyer held his summation, but he stopped instantly and Malik removed his hand again. Altaїr would have loved to feel it a bit longer. Malik just knew all too well what was happening inside Altaїr's head and he was certain Malik felt the same way like he did. This thought was a little bit soothing. He wasn’t alone with this frightening task. He had Malik by his side and Malik surely was as uncertain as he was. If Altaїr would get the guardianship over his brothers then they would have three children, three children for which they had to care for. Three children which never could replace the one boy Malik lost and missed so badly.

Again he looked over his shoulder and noticed Ezio, who sat right next to his boyfriend. He had not even noticed how the boy slipped behind him on that bench after his testimony, but he was glad to see him and when the judge finally withdrew to her office to think about the judgment, Altaїr did not waste any second to stand up and scoop his brother into his arms, the small separation between them fully ignoring. Ezio acted a little odd and hesitated for a second but then there was his crushing grip again which nearly suffocated the older brother. "Malik hasn’t cooked well while we weren’t there." He then murmured. "You have gotten thin again."

Altaїr never had much success with gaining weight and he knew he was way too thin again and that he did not have nearly the body he yearned for at all. He would have loved to have more muscle-power and not being as lanky as he was, but in the last four weeks he had not managed to get anything down his stomach and did not get just one night of good rest. He must've driven Malik insane with his constant tossing and turning in the bed or by reading the whole night. Well, Altaїr had gotten the hint, as Malik had grabbed the book from his fingers one night at 3 AM to throw it against the wall.

Altaїr did not want to let go of Ezio again. Four weeks could be a fucking eternity when you did not know where your siblings were and how they were doing. He couldn’t wait to see Connor and Desmond again after their testimonies had been read out in front of the judge before the psychiatrist, who had talked to them, had been heard. He was proud of his little brothers for how brave they went through this crap and proud of Ezio for how good he had himself under control this time. Malik finally divided the two brothers as he gently patted their shoulders. "Come now you two, I pay for a round of coffee."

And oh yes, Coffee was exactly what he needed.

Just now as he managed to free himself from Ezio's iron grip and as he stood so close in front of him, he noticed the not yet fully healed cut that got right though both of his lips on the right side of his face. He just lifted his brows before he spoke again. "What happened there?" He had no shame at all when he carefully stroked his thumb over the cut and felt how the corner of Ezio's mouth lifted a bit under the touch.

"I just thought I should accommodate myself to you a little, so the people can see we're brothers."

Altaїr knew very well that he wouldn’t get a decent answer out of the boy and he did not care much either. All he could think about was that he would be able to see the other two again in an hour, while he walked with both men out of the courtroom and did not even spare a glance to someone else.

"Sooooo ... Haytham…" Altaїr finally began while leaning over his cup of coffee and examined Ezio's face closely, but the half Italian boy just gave him a curt nod.

"Well, we hadn't much of a choice." He then smirked. "And I am not so sure if I want to know how that sophisticated bastard managed to get the youth welfare office to agree to his deal so that we could stay with him until today, but I guess when you only have enough money every argument sounds suddenly very reasonable."

Altaїr rolled his eyes like he used to do as a child - a habit which annoyed his mother greatly most of the time - and ruffled through his short hair. "So the boys are with him now, right?" He then sighed. He did not like it, but he guessed when you are caught between a rock and a hard place… "Does he at least take good care of the both of them?"

No matter how much he despises Haytham Kenway; especially after all those things Ezio had told him about the recent time, he couldn’t believe that Haytham would harm his own son or Desmond. He wasn’t a good father and no affectionate guy, but he would never harm his own and only son.

Ezio only shrugged his shoulders. "Well I guess it would be a little exaggerated to say he would do his best, but he behaves decently around them. Edward is really cool though. I don’t even know how many times he already went to go have ice with them just in those few days or how often they went to the playground. I guess when he will visit us in the future we have to make sure that he doesn’t buy them all the things they want and spoil them rotten. I think Des had already cost him a fortune!"

Altaїr knew his youngest brother and he could imagine what Ezio said to be true. Connor on the other hand, was shy when it came to such things, he never said when he liked to have something, even now when they could afford it more than they used to back at Bill's. He was humble and Altaїr could only hope that no one would wipe this out of him.

"And how is Connor getting along with his dad?" Malik then intervened, after he had just let the brothers talk for a while and just listened while he had leaned back into his chair with his cup in his hand. He seemed to be obnoxiously pleased with what he saw.

"Oh" Ezio grinned widely and made a small dismissive gesture with his hand. "Let's say it is difficult." He then laughed. "I never knew that our little skunk could be so vengeful! Every time he looks at Haytham it seems like the guy had killed his pet rabbit or like he'd spit in his cornflakes. And well you know Haytham; he isn't that good when it comes to apologizing in any way at all. But he gets along with Edward pretty well. If you ask me they always look like they would be plotting against Haytham. Well anyway, it turned out the good Gramps did not even know he had a grandson until recently."

Altaїr couldn’t help but shake his head at this. Well, he couldn’t say it would surprise him that Haytham tried to sweep this part of his life under the carpet, but it must've hurt the little one when he learned the truth about his dad and he couldn’t even imagine how Connor could handle this. Haytham had not just abandoned him; he concealed and denied his very existence like he would just vanish if he only would forget about his son - his _mistake_. But Altaїr had to be thankful that at least now the Kenways where here to help in their hour of need.

"And … that Mr. Miller, what will happen to him now?" Altaїr sighed, while his thoughts shifted again to the reason for his brother's current situation with the Kenways. He got sick to the stomach imagining what could 've happened and that he had not been there to protect them. He would have his revenge on the youth welfare center and Mrs. Ramirez that was for sure.

"He will have to stand trial for this, but for now, he is sitting in detention while awaiting his trial. I guess the court will try to find other victims within all those former foster kids and the youth welfare office and our beloved Mrs. Ramirez will also have to worry. It turned out that Mrs. Ramirez already knew about incidents like that in the house of the Millers and that this was the reason why they did not have any other foster kids lastly." Ezio's voice was calm and collected. Like, Christ! How did he manage to sound so calm when Altaїr did not want anything more than to throw his cup against the wall? It was he who had forced this woman to look for a foster home where his brothers would be together! "Listen Altaїr, it isn't your fault." Oh, Ezio knew him too well. "If we had been separated it could've happened also, but then I would not have been there to do something about it."

"How is he doing?" Malik's face was serious and his piercing eyes did not leave much room for wishy-washy answers. He demanded the truth, no matter how hurtful it would be. Ezio hesitated just for a moment, but then he smirked again.

"Well, actually he is doing great." He then proclaimed. "Of course, what happened bothers him and he doesn’t like to talk about it much, but I think he is doing much better than in the last days we spent at the Millers. He is laughing more and he is making stupid things again with Edward. This guy is no good company for our sweet Connor. I think he puts Connor up to more stupid things then Aveline could ever do."

It would be simply unnecessary for him to state how much he disliked this situation, but there was no time either because just at that moment Altaїr spotted his lawyer by the door of the cafeteria. He was waving for him to come. "Well, it looks like our dear judge got her answer for us sooner than expected." The eighteen-year-old frowned while standing up. He did not like standing in front of that woman, not because of this whole situation but because he felt like he was the culprit and not Bill.

He felt like he was walking straight to his own execution, while he closed the distance between him and his lawyer to follow the man back to the courtroom, Ezio and Malik right behind them. Altaїr had no clue at all if it was a good sign that she made her decision so fast or if he should prepare himself for saying adieu to the life he wished for. There were no traces of his brothers in the hallway outside of the courtroom when the group arrived.

"They should be here by now" Ezio mumbled when he noticed the searching eyes of his older brother.

"Maybe they all think that they shouldn’t let them come close to me ever again." He got a little nudge to the head from Malik for that and a little "chin up" also.

 _Chin up_ , well that was easier said than done for fuck's sake. The fact alone that neither Desmond nor Connor was sitting on the small bench in the hallway to greet him was reason enough for his hands getting all sweaty again. He felt like he was falling again. But the moment his lawyer opened the door with a small smirk paid him off for that uncertainty and worry.

He did not even make it fully through the door when something collided forcefully with him and nearly kicked him off his feed. "We thought you would never come!" It came from down his hips out of the mouth of the little fuzzy head that attacked him so brutally right before Altaїr found himself confronted with big, wet shimmering eyes. He couldn’t help but scoop his youngest brother up to press him tightly against his own body. Desmond was lighter than any feather could be in that very moment and Altaїr wasn’t even able to formulate a decent sentence. He only could press his baby brother tighter against his body and just enjoy to have him back for the moment. Altaїr would've loved to start crying like Desmond used to when he did not get what he wanted, but instead he just laughed when Desmond's short hair tickled his cheek and when his thin arms nearly suffocated him.

He did not even care that they were on official grounds now and that some of the assessors were already looking at them puzzled. The judge wasn’t here yet, but it wouldn’t take as long as Altaїr would've liked it. Altaїr could see Haytham and a guy that must've been Edward sitting in the audience and watching the brothers. But Altaїr did not have eyes for the two men but only for his other little brother who was standing in the middle of the corridor between the chairs and benches of the audience, leaned only on his crutches and looking a little shy towards them. He looked nervous and a little squirrellier than he was used to. It did cost Altaїr a lot of effort to sit Desmond back on the floor again, but the boy did not waste any time before he could wiggle towards Malik and attack the guy so Altaїr could dedicate his attention to Connor. He bridged the distance with large and swift steps but did not scoop the boy up; instead, he kneeled before him on the floor and eyed him thoroughly.

"What did you do this time?" Altaїr grinned at last and gestured towards the not very decorative cast on his small foot. Connor's cheeks almost instantly turned a bright red and he just managed to mumble something that sounded a lot like _Aveline_ and _tree_. His gaze shifted to Ezio again who looked everywhere but at him. Of course, the teenager had not told him anything about this. But it wasn’t important. The boy was still in one piece and that was all that mattered right now.

"It seems I cannot let you out of sight." Altaїr sighed and finally pulled him into a hug. He was relieved that Connor did not even flinch or shied away from his touch. Perhaps Ezio was right and the little one managed this situation a lot better than expected. "How are you? Doing well?" He then asked when he loosened the hug again and petted Connor's soft black hair gently. He wasn’t wearing a ponytail like Altaїr had told him to, but the top layer of his hair was neatly pulled back and tightly bound together behind his head and over the rest of his hair. Until now Altaїr had seen something like that only on little girls, but it suited his little brother well and he would try to remember this as long as the little one would keep his mane. The twelve-year-old nodded finally and with a faint grin. Altaїr had no other choice than to believe the guy.

Actually, he just wanted to grab his brothers – Desmond and Connor under his arms like barrels – and Malik and run. He did not want to bother himself any further with anything that happened here and not with Bill who was now entering the room again to get back to his seat. He looked at the reunion of the brothers with something like disgust written all over his face. He was lucky that Malik was so deflected by Desmond's rambling and pulling at his hand because otherwise, Bill Miles wouldn’t have made it past Malik in one piece. Altaїr knew Malik still wanted to kill this man for what he'd done to him.

Not until his lawyer laid his hand on top of his shoulder Altaїr managed to release himself from Connor. It was about time to get back to his seat, even though Desmond whined almost instantly that he wanted to sit with him and Altaїr did not want anything else then granting him this wish. He was sure having Desmond so close to his side would give him the strength he needed to let the judgment wash over him. Who could say if this wasn’t the last time they would be together like that?

The hearing has so far been running in his favor. There was nothing against him other than his youth and his current relationship with Malik … but what did that even mean? Altaїr did not believe in Happy Endings. After all this years of suffering, after all those knockouts and all the fighting; after all those times he had passed out in the middle of the hallway because the pain was too much to bear for a teenager, after all the blood and tears and the broken bones, the bruises, and scars that were left on his young body, Altaїr wasn’t even able anymore to lift his gaze to look Bill Miles in the eyes, after he was back on his spot.

Altaїr was afraid what he would see in this man's face if he would look at him. He would mock Altaїr only with his eyes, would tell him – just by looking at him - what he had done to him and that he remembered very well unlike Altaїr. He was afraid to see how much Bill was enjoying the memories or his current state. He must be pleased with himself every time he had a glimpse on Altaїr's left hand, which the boy tried to hide as good as possible during the hearing. This guy was in control now. He always prevailed, was always in control and Altaїr felt again like the five-year-old boy who was hosed with the garden hose in the backyard because he did not want to take a bath. He was again the little boy who was forced to eat his meal from the kitchen tiles because Bill enjoyed seeing him humiliated like that.

The courtroom was entirely silent after the judge had come back from her office and sat back in her seat. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop, while he and Bill stood on their spots to receive the judgment. Altaїr wished desperately that it wouldn’t be so quiet. Nothing was worse like that deafening silence and the sound of his own heart beating loudly in his chest and pounding against his ribcage. He would get insane. He felt trapped in a room with a telltale heart beating under the floorboards. The sound would drive him so mad that he would reveal all his dirty little secrets right here, right now. The pressure was too much to handle in a respectable place like this. He just wanted to scream and throw something, wreak chaos just for chaos' sake and to shatter this silence to pieces! He would do anything! Anything … just for all this to end so he could go home with Malik and the boys.

And then finally, right as he was about to knock over the desk he was standing behind or pulling out his own hair, there was a sigh from the judge. It was a low, resigned, defeated sigh. The judge leaned back in her chair, her hands flatly on the tabletop before her. Altaїr was never more afraid of what another human being could possibly say than in that very moment.

"I am really not convinced of the ability of a child raising children instead of a proper parent." She then began with a calm voice, after her sharp eyes rested again on Altaїr's face. He only lifted his chin a little but avoided meeting her eyes. He rather looked down at his new black shiny leather shoes that were so uncomfortable, but Malik had demanded that he needed to wear them anyway. That was what a responsible adult would do it seemed. "And I still think these three precious children would profit greatly by living in one of our many respectable and _good_ foster homes all across the country, at least more than by their current and potentially unstable situation with you, Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad and your partner."

So … there it was again, that feeling of hatred towards another person that was rising like bile in his throat. How could she even say those things after what happened? Had the boys not have a loving home with him and Malik before? The system was corrupted and broken and this judge should know that very well, shouldn’t she?! Where was the justice in this so-called land of freedom and possibilities?! Altaїr felt so tense that he was afraid his spine would snap in half right at the spot where Bill had kicked against this fragile structure to make him immovable forever. Again he dared another short look over his shoulder and saw that his brothers and Malik weren’t looking too hot either right now. Every one of them was pale. Ezio looked like he was right about to puke – just like Altaїr did all morning before the hearing.

Desmond's eyes met his. His bottom lip trembled dangerously like he was about to cry at any second. He was just nine years old but he understood was the judge said. Connor was staring down at his feet with trembling shoulders and Altaїr was relieved so see that Malik had already wrapped one arm around the shaking boy that was sitting next to him. Desmond, on the other hand, looked frightened even though Ezio had already pulled him into his lap and into a tight hug. He had panic in his light brown eyes and Altaїr couldn’t help himself but to lean over the separation – no matter how much his lawyer tried to stop him – and scoop Desmond up again who already held out his arms for him to grab a hold of his older brother.

He was still very much too thin, just like Altaїr himself. Desmond was underweight, haggard and looked more like a small child in that moment. He looked just like Altaїr did when he was his age. While Desmond was living with them he had looked much better, he was sure of that. The other two were looking also a little bit thinner. Connor seemed to have lost all those extra pounds he gained back at home under Malik's attention already. Altaїr did not mind the reprobative harrumph of the judge when he turned around again with Desmond on his arms. He already lost the battle, didn’t he? So why should he give a damn about her forbidding him to comfort and soothe his little brother for the last time? There was nothing to lose now, was it? Maybe his look was a little defiant when he finally met the judge's eyes. He clenched his jaw when he heard Bill's voice from the other end of the room, but the judge cut him off immediately, so only the word _faggot_ sounded through his angry mumbling.

Desmond made himself even a little smaller on his arms and Altaїr could only murmur soothing words to him. It must be hard for the boy seeing his dad under those circumstances again. Desmond never had a good relationship with this man, he had feared Bill greatly all his life, because Bill would never let any opportunity slip through his hands to humiliate and harass his only son.

There was a little murmur between Bill and his lawyer and then silence again when the judge looked at Altaїr. Her forehead was covered in thick and deep worry lines and her eyebrows so tightly furrowed that they almost created a line. "You will understand, Mr. Ibn-La'Ahad that I have witnessed many stories like yours in all those years I am working as a judge now and in my years as a prosecutor. I still believe it would be the best – just like I believed in all those other cases – to grant those children a new start with a proper foster family. What you're demanding, young men, will not be easy. You are at the beginning of a long and difficult journey, nothing other than a child yourself at the beginning of your own life. So you should pray and hope that you are prepared for this. I hope you will accept this chance I will grant you for the gift it is meant to be. You should handle it well; do you hear me, young man?" She waited and it cost him a long moment to understand that she really waited for _his_ answer. An uncertain nod was the only answer he could give her because his head was empty and there was just an undefined white noise where his brain should be. He did not even understand a single word of what that woman said. _Not a single fucking word._ And then there was a small amused smile on her face which lifted the corners of her mouth just a little. "Now that I said all this, I declare that I hereby transfer guardianship and custody of the minors Ezio Miles, Connor Miles and Desmond Miles to their oldest brother, Mr. Altaїr Ibn-La'Ahad."

Altaїr did not understand what was happening to him when his knees became wobbly now that the words of the judge finally sunk into the mush in his head, but he did not sink to the floor, because his lawyer held him upright, while something behind him rumbled as he tried to climb over the barrier between them. Ezio seemed just about to lift his older brother and Altaїr wouldn’t out it past him that he would be able to do exactly that. The pack of wolves was reunited again and when Altaїr searched for the judge's eyes he couldn’t help but flush a thankful smile at her, right before his brothers finally managed to nearly sweep him off his feet.

He did not mind. He just pulled them closer and tried to wrap his arms around all three of them and ignored the cursing of Bill Miles, the man they had to call _father_ for so many years before he finally could pull his brothers after those months of worry and uncertainty out into the warm sun of the afternoon.

Altaїr knew that the judge was right with what she'd said. It wouldn’t be easy. It had never been easy and it had not been easy those last few months and it wouldn’t get easier from here on now. Altaїr was sure that this would be the hardest and most painful task he ever had to master and that everything that happened until now was nothing more than a little appetizer for what would come, the gentle extensions of a perfect storm. He knew it would break him over and over again and that it would never stop hurting no matter how often it would happen. But he knew also that he loved his brothers, that he loved Malik and that they would have each other no matter what. They would have each other even when the world was burning and everything would fall apart. No matter how hard it would be when Connor would grow older and understood fully what happened to him and how unfair life really was and how much he hated his father for leaving him behind like garbage; no matter how terrible Desmond's fits of rage would become when he finally would understand how horrible his childhood had been and that he would constantly need to explain why he was living like that; no matter what a hard time Ezio would have to find his way into an orderly living and how hard it would be for the boy to trust anyone at all – they would always be together and they would still know that they have each other.

Nobody could separate them ever again.


	14. Paper Hearts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now it's Desmond's turn!

Desmond stared down at his shoes, while he sat on the small stool next to the door and knocked his heels together so the little red lights would blink. He remembered well what fuss he had made back then so he would get those shoes. Altaїr had been adamant in his denial, but Malik finally decided at some point that it was enough drama about a pair of stupid sneakers which wasn’t even expensive. Of course he had been very happy to finally own those cool shoes – those shoes from the advertisement, which had those blinking light in their transparent heels and this really cool writing on the sides and which absolutely every kid in school wanted desperately - but he had also felt a little guilty when Malik and Altaїr fought because of this.

It was moments like this when Desmond would feel his little heart sink down into his stomach when those two would fight. Every time he would be afraid that Malik finally was fed up of their drama and that he would break up with Altaїr. He would not only leave his older brother, but also Connor, Ezio and more importantly him. And if Malik would leave them … what would become of them?

"Hey Des, you can't wear those shoes anymore, it's snowing outside." Altaїr's voice sounded from the kitchen door. He was already fully dressed and ready to start his day, while Malik would enjoy the beginning of his holidays and was probably still reading his newspaper for he finally could – for the first time since they lived together – read the paper thoroughly from front to back to get upset about all those stupid things he did not even care about (like those commentaries in the gossip column). Ezio and Connor had already left for school. He was the only one who was still here because his school started later today. If it would be for him he wouldn’t go to school at all right now.

"But I don’t wanna wear other shoes." He moaned and shifted a little bit on the stool. Malik had placed it there so the boy wouldn’t sit on the cold floor – to get himself a bladder infection _again_ \- while putting on his shoes or mainly to avoid Desmond stumbling into the coat rack because he had a sense of balance like a dead fish.

His brother furrowed his brows. "Desmond these shoes aren’t warm enough to walk in the snow, but how about you put on your new boots?" Altaїr tried again. It was nearly a year since they left _home_. It was December again and Christmas right around the corner, but it had taken a long time for things going back to normal after the court hearing.

"But I want to wear these shoes." He was just as stubborn as Altaїr was and if not one of them would give in, this certainly would become a longer argument. Altaїr sighed, stepped closer and knelt before him on the floor. With a small grin, he grabbed his little brother's shoes, but he did not pull them off his feet, but he knocked the heels together so the little red lights would blink again.

"You want to make Shaun jealous, right?" He grinned. This poor British kid had to wear uncomfortable leather shoes the whole year and could see shoes like Desmond's just from afar. "That's not really nice, Des. When I was your age – a hundred years ago – I wanted also shoes like yours. All kids in my class had shoes like that, only I hadn’t because we couldn’t afford them."

"Were you mad because of it?" Desmond mumbled a little embarrassed that his brother had found out about his dirty little secret.

"Sadder" Altaїr laughed. "The other kids weren’t especially nice if someone couldn’t afford the newest things or if someone was just a little _different_ than them. Wow, hard to believe how long ago that was. You did not even exist back then!" He then smirked, but Desmond did not really like the look in his brother's eyes. He only looked that way when he thought about something sad and Altaїr simply did not need to think about sad things anymore now that they were living in this big and beautiful home.

"The other kids were mean to you?" Desmond mumbled watching those blinking lights while his big brother kept playing with his shoes. It felt strange imagining his big brave brother being bullied by other children and it felt also strange imagining his big brother in his age. There weren't many photos of that time, not to mention a whole photo album. It was sad and he felt a little sorry for it because he knew that Altaїr had taken many photos of him and Connor when they were little. He had this really old camera back then and he even managed to bring those photos with them when they escaped from Bill's.

"Yeah, they were. Mostly I got bullied because I didn’t have a daddy like all the other kids or because I would wear clothes from the second-hand shop all the time." He made a grimace like he had just bitten into a lemon. "But that was all right with me; I didn’t let it get close to me. It was way easier for Ezio. No matter where he went he got himself almost instantly a bunch of new friends." Ezio was still that way and people were drawn to him like moths to a flame. Desmond was lacking this talent greatly just like Altaїr - and Connor was simply shy. "Tell me Des; is it possible that this has nothing to do with your shoes?"

Desmond looked again to his brother whose chin was now resting on his little knees. Altaїr looked up to him like a dog would. That behavior was so out of place for Altaїr like a cat would take a bath. "What do you mean?" The younger boy pouted because he knew his brother sensed a secret when he would look like that and that he wouldn’t stop until he would eventually find out what it was.

"I noticed that you don’t like to go to school recently, Des. And I think that you are refusing to put on your warm shoes now not because you want to annoy Shaun –although you will always have my blessing for that. So what's up buddy?"

"Nothing. I need to go to school now." Desmond murmured and slid down from the stool so Altaїr had to back off a little, but the oldest grabbed him to hold him where he was, reached to the shelf next to the stool, grabbed Desmond's winter boots and held them in front of his nose. Desmond could only roll his eyes, climbed back on his stool and began changing his shoes.

"So what's up?" Altaїr tried again.

"Nothing."

"What's up? Des, I can do this all day long. Don’t assume that I forgot how to be annoying just because I'm an adult now."

"You're no adult, you're watching SpongeBob!"

"What's up? What's up? What's up?"

"For god's sake, what are you two doing here?" Entry Malik. He did not seem to be too thrilled about getting annoyed like that on his holiday so early in the morning because of their babbling while he tried to read his newspaper and being boring - like Altaїr always said. There he stood. His pajama pants hanging on half height and his pink _"Best mom in the world"-_ shirt extremely wrinkled, just like his face. His hair was a total mess, his glasses hung crooked on his nose and he looked very much like he was about to fall back into dreamland should he make the mistake of getting near a pillow. So you see it weren't just Desmond and Ezio who had trouble getting up in the mornings, while Altaїr was a bundle of energy every day.

"Nothing." The brothers blurted out their lie fully synchronized before Altaїr finally stood up again and threw his jacket at Desmond while he was about to put his own coat on. With a low sigh the youngest put his thick winter jacket on and wrapped his scarf tightly around his small neck before he could pull his new red hat over his head and ears - so Altaїr couldn’t nag him again about his ears getting cold. From his place by the door, he watched covertly how Altaїr got himself ready before he grabbed Desmond's backpack and his own bag to bit Malik farewell with a chaste kiss. Desmond never would stare openly at those two when they would kiss, but he liked seeing how Altaїr was grinning after those kisses. Seeing his brother laugh gave him a warm feeling in his tummy. It was different than back then.

He also said his goodbyes to Malik, who waved at him from the kitchen door before he left the house with Altaїr. But as soon as they were outside his big brother bothered him again. "So? What's up?" Altaїr really could nag and annoy like a child and Desmond moaned defeated. Well, the stubborn gene lied in the family.

"The other kids are annoying me! Every time they would ask where my mummy is and now we even have to craft some stupid Christmas presents for our parents. But I don’t want to craft some stupid candle holder for my mummy because I have none! And when I say that I don’t have a mom they would annoy me even more!" The nine-year-old boy complained. He did not understand some things the other kids would say to him yet, but he could understand that they were aiming for Altaїr and Malik. Desmond wasn’t dumb, he understood what Altaїr meant back then when he told them he was gay and that he had a boyfriend, but he did not understand the concept exactly. He understood that Altaїr loved Malik and that was everything that mattered really, so the youngest member of the family really did not get why the other kids would make such a fuss about that. Also, he wondered when the two of them would get a baby. That was what happened, right? Ezio once said when two people who loved each other would kiss and cuddle they would get a baby sooner or later. Maybe his brother had lied to him.

Altaїr had already grabbed his hand after they left the house and were on their merry way - knowingly that Malik would watch them from the kitchen window while he was sipping his scalding hot coffee.

"Do they bully you because Malik and me?" Altaїr then asked in a calm voice, but as mentioned before, Desmond wasn’t dumb and he knew his brother was worried because of this. But he nods nonetheless because he wasn’t allowed to lie.

"Sometimes." He then sat with a small shrug.

"And how are you putting up with that?" Desmond did not like it when Altaїr was questioning him so carefully like he was walking across a minefield.

"I don’t like it that they bully me because of this - because I think it's dumb. I say to them they should come with something better to annoy me than you and Malik."

Altaїr laughed a little. "Good job." His big brother grinned - maybe a little proudly - before he was looking at Desmond again and Desmond could _hear_ his serious expression just by listening to his voice without even looking at his face. "And how do you think about me and Malik being a couple?"

Desmond was silent for a moment and watched the other kids on their way to school. Many of them were alone but there were also a few that were dropped off by their mothers or fathers. It was only him who would go with Malik or his brothers. The elementary school wasn’t far away from their home and for Altaїr it was right on his way to work, even if Desmond could walk there alone already. "I like Malik and as long as he treats you good, I don't care." He then boomed. He was still a child, but even he knew that it was a surprise for Altaїr to hear those words from any of his brothers. Altaїr always thought that he had to protect them all and did not even waste the energy to the thought that his brothers wanted to protect him as well, so that was the reason why they have to prove it to him sometimes and why Desmond would always come to him when he noticed that his brother wasn’t feeling well since they were living on their own.

"Well, well," Altaїr grinned. "And how do you think about the whole situation? I mean with Malik and me as your _parents_?"

They never talked much about this stuff and Desmond never saw any reason for it, because he liked Malik a lot. For him it had been clear as daylight that Malik was a part of their family as long as Altaїr would love him and as long as he could make his brother laugh, even when Altaїr was sad again. Desmond knew that his brother was often sad, but he did not understand why. Sometimes he was sad because they did something stupid or because Ezio had yelled at him or because something had bad happened, but sometimes he was just sad for no reason it seemed and then it would be Malik making him laugh again because they wouldn’t talk about the reason why Altaїr wasn’t well. "It's better having two daddies than none, right?" Desmond replied finally when he could already see the school in front of them and heard how Altaїr was taking a deep breath in relieve.

"Well, you're right. But you have to tell me when I make mistakes, right? I'm new in this business. I don’t know yet how everything works."

"Bollocks," Desmond mumbled. "You have done this forever and Malik is a natural."

"He can be strict sometimes, right?" Altaїr grinned and stopped in front of the gate.

"Just with you and Ezio because Connor and I aren't behaving like idiots." Well, at least that was something Altaїr couldn’t deny. However, Desmond also had to admit that he could be a monster at times when they would go shopping, even if Altaїr was far worse than he ever could be! The guy would always throw stupid stuff in the shopping card and that was the reason why Malik wouldn’t take him with him anymore.

"'You sure?" His brother lifted his brows but finally let go of his little hand and just pulled Desmond's hat over his eyes. "Well then, see you tonight buddy! Enjoy your last day of school and don’t bully Shaun too much, okay? Malik is going to pick you up later."

Desmond only quacked and shoves his hat back up but he only saw Altaїr's backside as the older boy walked towards the bus stop. "Yeah, and unlike you, Malik is always on time!" He shot after his brother, before he turned, straightened his shoulders and walked across the yard.

The classroom busted with activity the whole morning. His teacher, Miss Taylor, had decided to use the last day before Christmas-break to treat her class with Christmas music, so since the start of that day some stupid CD was playing softly in the background while Miss Taylor watched her gang of little rascals crafting their presents.

Desmond wasn’t a good tinkerer. He wasn’t good at drawing either, but when it came to tinkering he was just more lost and helpless then anyway. Normally Altaїr wouldn’t even let him alone with glue without supervision because Desmond would coat absolutely everything with glue but the thing that needed to be glued. Liquid glue was a big no-no in the house after the _incident_ in kindergarten. Even blunt scissors were dangerous weapons in his clumsy hands, to say it short and sweet he was a walking catastrophe.

A little bit grumpy Desmond looked across the classroom to see what the other kids were doing. Most of them had already finished painting their stupid candle holders. At the beginning of the week, their teacher had shown them how to work with clay for this matter and nearly everyone in the class had crafted something that looked like it should, his work on the other hand…

"Is that a bird?" snorted Shaun next to him. Of course, Shaun's candle holder looked exemplary. Nerd. That blonde girl that was sitting in front of Desmond, Lucy, had tried to rescue his candle holder, but in the end, Rebecca - Lucy's best friend - had just rolled laughing on the floor and Desmond had needed half an hour to get all the clay crump's out of his hair.

Somewhat lost he looked down on the unshaped _thing_ on this desk, but then looked again at Shaun and wrinkled his nose. "What are you doing?" He just grumbled instead of answering the Brit. Nearly a dozen cut out paper hearts were scattered all over Shaun's desk.

"I am making tags for our Christmas tree." He explained with that look that literally said: _"Can't you see that?"_

"Paper hearts for a Christmas tree?" Well, that was something new. The nine-year-old boy had never heard of that before and Shaun seemed indignant about his ignorance - like always.

"Of course, why not? Do you even have a Christmas tree?"

Well, touché. "Not yet, but Malik will certainly buy one today!" Where ever you can buy Christmas trees. They never had one, but they also never really had celebrated Christmas. Christmas had been just another day in which they would cower in fear of Bill's bad holiday mood. Last year was the first time that they actually enjoyed Christmas. On Christmas Eve they had spent the whole day with Malik outside, on the evening Malik had cooked for them and they had watched some movies while Altaїr and Malik had cuddled and flirted on the couch and on the next morning Malik had woken them up with the delicious smell of pancakes. He even had bought them a few little gifts. Not much, just practical things they needed or could use, but for Desmond, it was something really special because it had been the first time in his life for him feeling like they were a normal family which celebrated Christmas together - even if Malik did not had a Christmas tree. All years prior to that they had to hide in Altaїr's room, playing and eating sweets he had bought with his spare money after he had started working with sixteen. There had never been gifts because there was no money. How would it be this year? Maybe Malik had already bought the tree while they were all out of the house? Maybe they could all decorate the tree together and Altaїr would fall down the ladder when he tried to put the star on top and Ezio would break one ball after another. Decorations! They needed decorations! Malik sure didn’t have those!

"Don’t you use normal decorations?" He carefully tested the water he waded into and again Shaun flashed him _that look_ which led Desmond to feel dumb every time.

"Of course! But we also use the paper hearts!"

"But why?"

"Well because! Don’t ask stupid questions!"

"But I want to know Shaaaaaaaaun~"

"Oh for Christ's sake tell him already!" Came Lucy's voice from the front while the girl turned around to see what was happening again behind her. Most of the time she was the voice of reason when Desmond and Shaun would fight - but they did not really fight as in " _fight_ " fight. Desmond liked her and Rebecca was cool too, she was a little more boyish and was interested in all that computer stuff, while Desmond did not even know how to use Altaїr's phone.

Shaun snorted again as Lucy intervened and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "That's tradition in our home. My mother says when she was my age her family had no money for those stupid decorations and that's why they cut out those hearts from paper and hung them in the tree."

Rebecca - who had also turned to see, as she was sitting next to Lucy and in front of Shaun - was about to make an impudent commentary, but Desmond was faster. "Show me how it works, Shaun! I want to make some as well, but cooler than yours."

"Shouldn’t you rather try to rescue your gift for Altaїr?" Shaun growled with criticism written all over his face when he looked again at the monstrosity on Desmond's desk after he had denounced his beautiful paper hearts.

"Duh! He will be excited no matter how it looks like. You know, sometimes I think he has problems with his eyes or something." Desmond could gift his brother anything and the guy would say it was beautiful no matter what it looked like. Maybe he really was blind and maybe that was the reason he and Malik were a couple because he did not notice that Malik was a guy and now he was too ashamed admitting his mistake. Well, all possible explanations. Lucy's eyes spoke volumes when she looked again at the thing on Desmond's desk, but she did not say anything but went back to her own work.

Desmond's paper hearts weren't nearly as neat and perfect as Shaun's. They were all differently in shape and size and looked a little bit crippled - like Rebecca helpfully added in between. His blunt scissors had left jagged edges on the sides of the hearts but Desmond was nonetheless pleased with his work as he went to Miss Taylor to get the cord, which he would need to string the hearts together, from her and while he stabbed holes in every heart so he could pull the cord through and later hang it on the tree. Shaun simply gave up somewhere in between to rescue the massacre on Desmond's desk and had left the boy with his work. Desmond was blind for his lack of talent as he looked down on his work, but he avoided looking at Shaun's desk because he knew that he would rethink his work otherwise and he had no time for this. The end of this school day was just around the corner and he knew Malik would be here in ten minutes, standing at the classroom door to pick him up.

Desmond couldn’t deny that he was looking forward already for it when he carefully shoved the hearts and Altaїr's present into his backpack. He liked being picked up by Malik because his classmates would look so surprised and the girls would stop in awe when they saw Malik and everyone in class wanted to know who he was. Well, of course, they knew by now, but this did not matter much. He did not mind that the other kids liked to bully him for his brother was dating a guy and that this guy would even pick him up from school. He did not mind because those kids that would make fun of him were the same kids that nobody would pick up. Desmond knew that he could consider himself lucky. He had no mother and no father who would pick him up, but he had _four_ big brothers who did and who showered him with affection and love every day. Maybe sometimes even a little too much.

When a few minutes later the bell rang and announced the beginning of the holiday season the whole class was in turmoil. It had not even been two minutes until most of the kids had stormed out of the room and nearly bumped into Malik. "Merry Christmas, Desmond!" Lucy called from the door because Rebecca was pulling her again by the arm like she would do every time she was in a hurry. Desmond took his sweet time to pack his things orderly - Malik would taunt him otherwise - before he put on his jacket and scarf.

"See ya, Miles" Shaun mumbled _cool_ like always and left the classroom without waiting for any answer from Desmond.

"Well, little moth, ready for the holidays?" Malik's voice sounded from the door after he managed to escape the wave of fleeing children. He flashed a quick, but friendly smile at Desmond's teacher before Desmond put on his hat and scurried towards him, holding out his hand already. He was much too old to hold hands anymore, but he liked leaving Malik, Altaїr and Ezio in their stupid believe that he still needed this and on the other hand the three of them would surely feel lonely and lost without him holding their hands."

He said his goodbyes to his teacher and wished her _"Merry Christmas"_ before he and Malik could go their merry way. "So what did you made today?" Malik asked with a small grin, knowingly how Desmond stand by the topic of tinkering - another thing that the boy had in common with his oldest brother - because Altaїr wouldn’t even be able to tinker anything if his life would depend on it.

Desmond only made a grimace. "We had to craft candle holders, but mine looks more like … I think there is no word to describe that. But I made lots of tags for the Christmas tree!"

Now it was Malik who made a grimace. "What Christmas tree?"

"We _need_ a Christmas tree!" Desmond quaked.

"You did get by all those years without a tree in the living room and even I never had one since I am living by myself."

Desmond stopped and when he did Malik was forced to stop also and to watches how the little guy made himself look bigger - something that wasn’t that impressive with his four foot and six inches. He had to grow faster, but on the other hand, Connor wasn’t that tall either and Ezio, as much as he tried to, would never catch up to Altaїr or Malik. "But now we are a family and we have a beautiful house and now we also need a Christmas tree like everyone else!"

Desmond did not care much for the things other people would call _normal_ , but there were certain things and situations he liked to say they were normal, a normal family with a normal Christmas tree like every other family.

"So we two are going to buy ourselves a Christmas tree, right?" Malik smirked. "We surprise the others when they come home. They will come home late, so we have all day to be busy."

"Just admit it! You think it's cool too!" Desmond grinned and walked again, but couldn’t avoid the little happy skip between his steps. Oh, the other three would make big eyes when they would come home and when Malik and he would have already decorated the tree.

"Don’t say anything to Altaїr, but I love decorating."

 

※※※※※※※

 

The living room was illuminated by the warm glow of a bunch of fairy lights that were wrapped around a massive fir tree, when Altaїr finally came home after an exhausting day, followed closely by Ezio and Connor who he had picked up on his way home - Ezio from his private lessons by Leonardo and Connor from his boy scout meeting. He was a little speechless at the view he was greeted with when he stopped in the door to the living room. Desmond climbed on a small stepladder to hang something in the tree, while Malik supervised him so the boy wouldn’t fall while Malik was working on the upper half of the tree.

There was a loud happy squeal by his side and he needed a moment to attach the noise to Connor, who just stormed past his older brother into the living room still wearing his boy scouts uniform. Altaїr wasn’t sure if the boy was simply happy to have a Christmas tree or if he planned on climbing that thing.

Even Ezio was stunned by his side while he slowly approached the tree. Altaїr remained at his spot by the door to watch how his other two brothers get right to work and began decorating the tree with Desmond barking orders at them. Connor looked extremely excited and his big dark eyes were glowing in the light of all those fairy lights, while Ezio was a little bit devout while he carefully touched the - obviously new - decorations like they could break under the slightest touch.

The kids had seen Christmas trees in their lives but they never had one for themselves, even when his mother was still alive and it surely was the last thing Altaїr had thought about. He was a little ashamed for never thinking about getting a tree, but finally, he stepped closer. The kiss he stole from Malik was chaste but hopefully impressive. "Was that your idea?" Altaїr grinned while wrapping his arms around Malik's neck. Ezio had adopted the job of supervising Desmond, so Malik could lay his large hands on Altaїr's waist to pull him closer.

"It was Desmond's wish and I liked the idea," Malik replied also with a little grin which lifted the corner of his mouth ever so slightly. "I thought them boys and you would deserve a real Christmas after all that happened."

Where would they be without this guy? Malik had this talent to ground the four of them and Altaїr was sure that they would've ripped each other apart by now without Malik's patience and calmness. His life was different since he had been granted guardianship and since they were living together again. Now that there was no Bill Miles anymore, who could mean an immediate threat to them, they were just four normal brothers and two of them were going through puberty - although that showed only sporadically by one of those two.

In the last few months, there had been more than one occasion when Altaїr nearly lost it. He could remember the incident with Desmond very vividly when he simply lost his patience and yelled at the little guy just because he did not learn as fast as Altaїr would sometimes like him to. The little one was so scared of him that he hid for two hours straight in his tire swing in the backyard until Malik had come home. It was moments like that in which Altaїr suffered the most. He couldn’t deal with seeing one of his boys sad and it got even worse when they would be sad because of him.

There had been many occasions in the last few months in which Ezio and he would've strangled each other or in which Connor had driven him mad just because the kid had found some hurt animal again and brought it home. He did not even want to think about all those fights with Malik, but then there were moments like this right now in which he simply enjoyed having all his little sheep around him, to lean against Malik and simply watch _his boys_ having fun with the stupid tree.

"We need mistletoes." Altaїr purred grinning against Malik's lips and wiggled his brows. "One for every room and a dozen over our bed."

When Malik folded his arms around Altaїr's back and pulled him with all his might against his chest Altaїr felt for a short moment like he was going to be suffocated when the guy would keep that up. "As if you needed a pretense to attack me."

"You did not complain last night~" The younger purred again sharing a look with his boyfriend that only he would understand.

"Last night I couldn’t do much at all." And Malik lowered his voice so much that only Altaїr was able to hear him as he leaned deeper so his goatee tickled Altaїr's chin while he fished for his lover's lips again, but the kiss did not last long, Malik liked to tease. "But don’t worry; I will have my revenge tonight."

"Woah stop canoodling you two and help!" Ezio called from the tree but the wide grin on his face made it very clear that he did not resent the _canoodling_ of those two and Altaїr wasn’t even ashamed anymore getting caught when he kissed Malik, not after he had caught Ezio recently _canoodling_ with a girl. Well, that was awkward.

"Yeah, gross!" Desmond exclaimed, his feet the only part of his body visible after he had decided to lie under the tree. Probably he had not even seen what was happening. Altaїr did not even bother asking what he did under the tree; instead, he released himself from Malik's grip with a deep sigh but still with a wide grin and stepped closer towards the tree.

The little, crumpled paper hearts hanging in the tree weren't very much recognizable as hearts, the sides had been marred by blunt scissors, they were all in different sizes and shapes, the point of the hearts were almost not existent and the holes for the string looked like someone had beaten them brutally through the thin paper, but that wasn’t important.

"Did you make those, Des?" Altaїr smirked while Connor mumbled from the ladder "Who else? Just look at them!"

The youngest crawled back up from under the tree with flushed red cheeks - and ears - and nodded carefully, while Connor tried to bite in one of the seemingly fake candy canes before he hung the thing in the tree.

"They are very cute." Altaїr commented. They all knew those paper hearts looked awful, but that wasn’t important. More important were the scrawly written wishes the youngest had written on each and every one of them and how much effort his little brother had put into this bunch of grotesque paper hearts.


	15. Epilog

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah ... That's it. That is the end of paper hearts, but I will continue with Malik's story soon

 

"Connor, take the rabbit off the table." Altaїr did not even need to turn around to see that his little brother had once again decided place his new pet down on the table right behind Altaїr’s back as if that way, his big brother would not be able to see or notice the highly offending animal.

"But why?” Connor ushered. “He belongs to the family, doesn't he? Desmond can still sit on the table even when he is dirty and you don’t say a word about him!"

_ Fair point _ , Altaїr briefly thought. He had to grant his brother that he knew how to make a good argument, but Altaїr knew an even better argument which worked all the time and always made the little ones cower in fear. "Malik will be mad when he sees that."

"You are such a party pooper…" Connor mumbled and finally managed to distract Altaїr from the stove, not that it would change anything about the taste should the sauce be burned as a result. Malik had taught him a lot when it came to cooking, but he still lacked talent and that was something one was not able to achieve by learning or studying cookbooks or videos on Youtube. Well, at least the eighteen-year-old gave his best after Malik had left him with this crucial task of guarding the Christmas dinner while he was not in the house himself to do so. 

Malik had said that he just wanted to visit the hospital to wish Kadar a merry Christmas and Altaїr could hope for nothing more than for his boyfriend to return soon before he would ruin the food eventually. It was only a matter of time and they all knew it. And as if that would not be enough, his little brothers would never shy away from giving him  _ the look  _ whenever he would be near the stove, now that they finally knew how good food could taste as long as Altaїr was not involved in the process of making it. 

Connor was standing next to the table, his new, very much loved pet rabbit in his arms. He sure did not have any clue at all what Malik had thought while getting that little floppy ear, but, on the other hand, Connor's reaction had been worth that purchase for sure. The rabbit was in the house for two days now and it had not been easy to hide the little buddy from the kids, especially after Desmond had demanded to sleep with them last night. Instead, they had played some stupid board game in the living room until the youngest had fallen asleep. Malik had carried him to the bedroom – after all, they  _ had  _ promised him that he would sleep with them – while Altaїr stealthily like a ninja had brought the rabbit in his cage downstairs to cover the cage with a thin cloth and place it under the tree for Connor to find. 

Since the day started, the proud rabbit-father carried the poor thing around now, but the pet did not really seem to mind much as long as Connor would gently pet him or give him something he could nibble on.

"Well, that comes with the age." Altaїr only grinned as he threw a glance over his left shoulder to have a look at the boy. "When you turn older you inevitably  turn into a party pooper for no reason and then you can ban Desmond from sitting his pets on the table, because if Malik continues like that we will have a zoo by then." Needless to say that Altaїr really had not been happy when Malik had brought the rabbit back home, but he knew how much Connor wanted to have his own pet since forever and the boy deserved it after all the shit they had gone through in the past year - Even though Desmond was a little bit jelly. When they had still been living with Bill, not even thinking about owning a pet had been possible and if any child Connor’s age should have a pet, then it clearly was his messy-haired little brother.  And Desmond … Well, his new plush-toy had calmed Desmond's jealousy a little bit while Ezio had not been able to put down his new smartphone since the moment he had picked it up for the first time. 

It was their first Christmas together as a family and the very first  _ real _ Christmas they had ever celebrated. Altaїr would never forget how much effort Malik had put into last year's Christmas – just so shortly after they had met for the first time and decided to start dating – to surprise them on Christmas morning. The gifts had not been expensive, nothing too big or exciting: a new drawing book for Desmond, an encyclopedia of the forests of North America for Connor and a new hoodie for Ezio, but the boys had been excited and Altaїr had been ashamed because Malik had taken care of those things while he himself could not have afforded gifts for his brothers at all. Altaїr knew that his brothers did not attach importance to gifts, even now, but they had been overwhelmed and a little shocked because of the kindness of this stranger. 

Altaїr had probably known back then, that he would not let Malik Al-Sayf ever slip through his greedy hands freely ever again. It was not just personal gain, it was the sheer fact that Malik had been the first person in all of their lives to show kindness to them without expecting anything in return, who saw the four brothers for who they were and accepted them, yes, even decided that he wanted to be part of that chaotic little family. This very morning he had only proven once more that he truly cared for them and that he thought about his new family. 

The morning had been fraught with the laughter of children and shining, glistening eyes when they had all gathered in their pajamas in the living room after Desmond had bounced on the bed like crazy in his excitement. It was the first time in his entire life that Altaїr had felt like they were a  _ normal _ family and that warm fuzzy feeling in his chest remained even until now when he watched Connor with his pet.

"The sauce is going to scorch." Commented a voice from the kitchen door and almost made Altaїr jump. Ezio stood there, his new phone still attached to his hand as if glued to the skin while he pointed with the other towards the stove so Altaїr whirled around again to lower the flame – while he nearly threw down a pan in his movement. Hopefully, Malik would come home soon otherwise, they would need to order Pizza instead. At least for that Altaїr had a talent.

"What the hell are you wearing?" Altaїr finally grinned still stirring in the pot and gave his brother a sideward glance. Ezio looked suspiciously good. He was wearing plain dark jeans, a black button-up and even a black vest that looked a lot as though stolen from Malik’s closet. Someone had swapped his little brother with a model because Altaїr was pretty sure that his little brother Ezio would normally look like a dirty hobo launching on the sofa so that no one else could sit there.

Ezio lifted one eyebrow and crossed his arms with a small frown. "Well, excuse me, brother dear, but unlike  _ you, _ I am dressed for the occasion, we have Christmas at last. I thought Malik would be a better influence to you. And I always thought that gays would know how to dress nicely."

Altaїr did not know if he should throw the pot at Ezio or if he simply should be irritated. “Well, seems I didn't get the memo then.” He scoffed as he looked down at his body, taking in his favorite dark red sweatshirt,  his plain black jeans and subsequently his very green socks. What was wrong with that? Ezio, however, just sneered at him, as Altaїr dared to look his little brother in the eyes again, instantly understanding what the little shithead wanted to tell him. "Oh no, I won't wear this stupid suit ever again, you can be sure of that! I leave it to Malik to look handsome as fuck like a wall street-banker, thank you very much. I am more of a natural beauty." Altaїr replied grinning. Behind his back Connor coughed and Altaїr could only hope that the little guy was choking on the rabbit's fur, so Altaїr would not be forced to take that bunny away from him for his insolent behavior.

"Where's Des?" The oldest brother then asked while he kept stirring impatiently in the sauce so it would not clump. Malik had made an effort to tell Altaїr over and over again to keep the sauce from clumping. He trusted him. This motherfucking sauce better not clump.

"He's playing in the living room, don’t worry he can't kill himself with anything there." Ezio grinned and just got a skeptical look from his older brother in return. They all knew how clumsy the youngest was – even though Connor also had his special moments from time to time, but Desmond truly got the cake. "What the hell is taking Malik so long anyway?"

Altaїr only shrugged his shoulders and glanced at the clock that was hanging over the kitchen door. "He should’ve been back by now." He mumbled. Slowly he was getting really nervous and not just because the dinner. He started to grow worried. The roads were slippery and it kept snowing for days now. But it was not just that.

Since the court hearing, Altaїr had not managed to adjust to how well their new life was going now and with every day the fears in his heart only grew, because suddenly to him adjusting to his new life would bring the danger of fate biting his ass again. Everytime he would adjust to something or find joy and something similiar to happiness, something happened and took that away from him again. The truth was that not a single day would go by without him worrying just because Malik would be running late from work or because his brothers would dawdle on their way home from school. It did not matter if there were enough other things he should worry about, like the entrance examination for university for example. All of this was just exhausting on a whole new level than before.

There would be big changes next year and he could only hope that this would not include losing Malik in any way. Finally, there were the quiet footsteps of the youngest who had his new plush toy, an eagle, tightly pressed under his arm and gazed again a little jealous at Connor and his rabbit. 

"Can I have a hamster?" He asked but Altaїr just snorted. 

"Over my dead body."

"I'm hungry." Desmond was a master when it came to changing topics like that even though he did so with a pout.  Just by the way he looked right now at him, the little man  would harass Malik until he would give up any buy a fucking hamster. Malik was actually the stricter  _ parent  _ of them – at least he scolded Altaїr enough to make that clear – but as soon as Connor and Desmond would flash their puppy eyes on him, even the great Malik Al-fucking-Sayf was lost. Altaїr on the other hand was used to that weapon and could ignore it.

Altaїr's stomach was growling just like Desmond's right now and he knew the food would overcook when they would not start eating soon, so he sighed. "Set the table guys."

And they did without complaining – well Ezio and Desmond did, because Connor brought his bunny-friend back to his cage. Altaїr watched from the corner of his eye how Ezio passed the dishes carefully to Desmond so the little one could get them to the table. "Aren't we gonna wait for Mal?" Ezio then asked, but Altaїr only sighed.

"When we wait any longer all his work with the food was for naught. Sure he is stuck in traffic somewhere because there are so many idiots on the streets. We set something aside for him and by the way you look right now, you want to go out later." His brother could not even fathom to deceive him. No matter how nicely dressed Malik was every day and especially at special occasions like this one, Ezio would never groom himself like that just for his brothers. Hell no.

But he only got a little lopsided grin which made the scar on Ezio's lips just all the more prominent. "Sofia's parents invited me." There was a little pride in his words but from Desmond came only a low  _ "uuuuuuuuuuuh Sofiiiiiiiaaaaa~" _ from the table which was ignored by Ezio and Altaїr.

"Well, that sounds like a serious thing you have going on with that girl." Altaїr laughed and was secretly a little more excited for his brother turning red than he should probably be.  It did not often happen that Ezio would blush, for most times Ezio did not even know how to spell the word shame. 

"She is just a friend." He then defended himself with a little smirk that entirely betrayed his words of course. However, Altaїr was a little proud that his brother would not look at every girl  that was coming his way any longer as it seemed. That Sofia-girl sure had made a big impression on him. Cute. He could only hope that it would not be like it had been with Cristina back then. Ezio had been unbearable after she had dumped him, it had not even helped a little that he used Desmond as a hot water bottle all the time.

He just wanted to say something, while he was disposing the food from the pots and pans into the nice porcelain plates and bowls  - Malik had insisted in using them for the occasion – when he heard how the front door was opened and closed again a little louder than normally. Just a split second later, Malik was standing in the kitchen door, still dressed in his black coat and his polished, black leather shoes with a few flakes of snow dusting his shoulders and his black hair. Altaїr had laughed at him that morning when Malik decided to put on that pinstriped pants, vest, button up shirt  _ and _ tie, but he could not deny that his boyfriend was devilishly handsome like that and that he wanted nothing more than to either rip those clothes off of him immediately or to get fucked senseless bend over an office desk fully dressed.

Malik looked agitated and truly like he was in a rush, though it had been only a few feet from the driveway to the door – he never parked the car in the garage. His cheeks were red from the cold outside and when he aimed his gaze at Altaїr, the younger one flinched at his intense glare a  little and put down carefully the bowl of peas on the table top.  _ Just don’t make any sudden moves _ , he thought.

Altaїr swallowed thickly and instantly tried to remember the last hours and days frantically, trying to remember if he had done something that Malik just noticed now and that could have made him agitated, yes, maybe even furious like that. No matter how hard he tried to think of something, he could not come up with anything, though. Or was he mad because they wanted to eat without him?

"Hey … Have you seen a ghost or something?" Ezio carefully asked behind Altaїr, but Malik ignored him when he stomped into the kitchen and grabbed Altaїr roughly by the collar of his shirt. Altaїr felt a movement behind his back, probably Ezio getting ready to tackle Malik to the ground and beat him senseless if he would do anything to his brother, but then Malik only pulled him into a kiss, a rough, hard, sloppy but passionate kiss which left Altaїr breathless a couple seconds later when Malik broke apart again just like this. Altaїr's face was a big question mark when Malik's hand travelled up to cup his face gently.

"Marry me." He then said, his face a mask of serious intent and with that deep, rough voice of his that always made Altaїr shiver from the first moment he had ever heard it.  This time it was Ezio who coughed behind his back and Altaїr hoped that he would choke on a pea. He felt the big eyes of Connor – who had come back when he had heard the turmoil – and Desmond on him, waiting just as tensely for his answer as Altaїr himself.

"What happened?" Altaїr  then simply asked confused and gently touched Malik's forehead with the back of his hand. No fever. But this proposal in front of them all was still the last thing Altaїr would have imagined and Malik did not even look like he had planned this. Well … it seemed he had to wear that stupid suit again.

"Kadar is awake."

**Author's Note:**

> Please please please write me if I made big mistakes with something! I would LOVE to upgrade my english skills!


End file.
